Please help me interpret the I ching response to this common question. I received hexagram 29 The Abysmal ( water) line five. Kan here repeated shows the possesion of sincerity, through which the mind is penetrating. Action in accordance with this will be of high value. The representation of water flowing on continuously form repeated Kan. The superior man in accordance with this maintains constantly the virtue of his heart and the integrity of his conduct, and practices the business of instruction.
Line 5 Shows the water of the defile not yet full so that it might flow away, but order will soon be brought about. There will be no error. That sounds promising but I dont completely understand the message. If you can give me more insight, please share. I feel I am a sincere person and really want a serious loving relationship. I dont understand why it would be telling me I am lacking in virtue and sincerity. If I was the cheating kind or easily infatuated with several men then I would understand. I am also not controlling or manipulative. I think I am a good person but all I can think of if I have a tendency to be negative and get depressed. Maybe it is saying I need to work on whatever I am lacking and find happiness within myself to attract the right people. I have not had a relationship because I am not very sociable and the guys who have approached me dont seem to have serious relationship potential.

swtchks said:

I dont understand why it would be telling me I am lacking in virtue and sincerity.

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It doesn't say that

Fear, insecurity.. even a tendency to seek for dangerous man.

Best wishes

I think it says perhaps you don't need to try so hard right now. That maybe you have been through a difficult time, or a time when, as jesed said, you felt insecure or afraid (? I don't know -- have you?) but in any case it's okay now, you can just be calm and rest for a bit.

why havent I found a man I can have a serious, romantic relationship

Do serious and romantic work together? I think romance is natural and fun. It may be that intensity of desire plays a role in this, as 29 is characteristically capable of high intensity. Might you be scaring the fellers off with seriousness? 29.5 changes to 7, a gathering of force. The whole thing sounds a bit much to a guy who is just open to meet someone nice.

What if you do meet some as intense as yourself? Would you kill one another? No, not according to line 5. But you'd but get pretty fed up with each other.

swtchks said:

I have not had a relationship because I am not very sociable and the guys who have approached me dont seem to have serious relationship potential.

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At 7 the water is sheltered by the earth, its hidden, invisible. At 29 becomes a river, it flows. Perhaps Yi says to let your water free to flow or let the guys to show themselves. At the begining of the relationship we never could be sure if it would be a serious/longlasting/succesful or not. It becomes, and we have to let it flow first

Hello, Swtchks

The first line of commentary in the W/B version says, "danger comes because one is too ambitious? Are you trying too hard? Are you scaring them away being too friendly too quickly? Just something to think about.

Gene

sometimes the danger in this type of aspiration is to become too focused on the lack of the thing you want. In other words, you get emotionally obsessed with the idea of it not happening.

I say this because your question is 'why haven't i found this?' so the Yi is answering that question be giving you this image of danger, and the abyss ( perhaps symbol for falling into despair or depression over this). Becoming too attached to any desire and feeling emotionally intense about the lack can actually keep it away from you..

Line 5 indicates that you will eventually relax and not get buried by your despair. in a way, relaxing is the best idea.
hex 7 is about getting clear, congruent and devoted to the goal. Devote your energies to the image of what you want in a relationship, and to aligning your heart, mind and soul. With a clear, disciplined mindset ( avoid negative projections and thoughts of Why it hasnt arrived yet), and faith, there is no reason why you can't have this. in the meantime, let go of the timetable. Love comes in its own time