ex has asked me to go on an overseas trip with him. I really like to go, but dont know what it's going to do to me. I asked these Q's so I could get a bigger 'picture' . Your two cents worth is much appreciated.

should i go on a trip with x?
31.5 --> 62
Karcher reads the moving line as very positive. Does this mean yes, but dont have expectations that it leads to something big? If it is a positive moving line, why does it go on to be relating hexagram of 'smallness' which is kind of negative?

what effects will going on a trip with x have on the possibility of reunion?
34.1.2 --> 62
Line one reads negative, line two reads firmness and correctness. 62 again, is it telling me to be firm and correct (Im thinking in my behaviour towards x)? what is 62 trying to say in terms of reunion?


what effects will this trip have on our relationship? (the relationship which doesnt have a name)
53.3.4 --> 12
Is line 3 about firmness and correctness again, and how do i read line 4 with regards to lne 3. And 12 - obstruction, is this bad?

should i not go on a trip with x?
4.1.5 -->61
again something on firmness and correctness?

I Ching is not there to replace your thinking, it is an aid to thinking. Your over-asking may generate a lot of confusion rose... Do read what meng recently wrote about the value of answers and not to take them more personal than need be. Check also the Q link below about questioning.
Take care ...

Yes, the whole "should I?" position may not even exist in this kind of matter, and the answers you've received could even say as much, that this is something for you to think through and decide.

If I look at this cluster of readings as how this situation appears to be, I'll be straight up, to me, it looks like not a good time for the two of you. I think you'd stand to feel uncomfortable and out of place. Not that you couldn't make do, but that it's unlikely to bring you two closer. It might even have the opposite effect.

But don't take this as what you should do, only how one person interprets your answers. You have to go or not go under your own power (34.2).

Dear Rose,
We've been focusing on 62. Preponderance of the Small over in Exploring divination and I've come to think it could also be aptly named Repercussions.

Considering the sequence:
61. Inner Truth
Here one wants to be aware of the inner sincerity and act from that space.
62. Repercussions
Here the Inner Truth behind the action will create great repercussions. Like a voice echoing throughout a large canyon, what ever is said or done at this time will reverberate across time and space, so it is advised that the voice, action, be very small as we don't know how long the effects will last or what the repercussions will be.

This does not have to be a bad thing. It's just saying consider the repercussions of what you are proposing to do and that you probably don't have to do much to create a good effect. In fact, it's probably better that you don't do much. Don't project a whole lot of expectations. By keeping your mind clear and quiet you will be more able hear your intuition, your inner truth, and know what the potential is here and how best to proceed.

34.1 also cautions against bold moves but 34.2 is encouraging and again we end up with 62. I think you're being advised that if you are interested in this trip to be particularly conscious of not grabbing the reigns but keeping your expectations, needs very simple so you can hear what he has in mind. Kinda like you've been invited to a surprise party in your honor. You're not supposed to plan it. You're just supposed to be open to it.

The effect the trip will have on your relationship? !2. Standstill. Probably this is one of those things 62 is warning you about. Probably shouldn't be taking the trip with the expectation it will lead to anything.

"Should I NOT go on the trip?"
Well, Youthful Folly suggests you're driving yourself crazy trying to figure out the future with all these different questions. 61 says to me "Go if you feel like it but (4) don't have a lot of fantasies about it."

-rosada

with all the 62s in the background I'd say keep your expectations pretty close to the ground with this. The phrase being 'firm and correct' means nothing to me...how does one do 'firm and correct'..anyway

53.3.4 >12 does not look great for a relationship to put it mildly. Do you trust this person ? Its just in 53.3 theres the sense of let down, someone doesn't fulfill their responsibilities to another, or just leaves the other to get on with it, can be just a lack of interest in the other so you might find he goes off to do his own thing more than you'd like and so on.

If you choose to go on the trip I'd pay attention to the details (62) of how you'll be spending time, what you'll do if things go cold between you or if he wonders off. maybe have a back up plan for yourself if things really don't feel right so that if worse came to worse you could leave, or go do something else with other friends. Such considerations may seem OTT but thinking of 62 as we are in the memorising threads maybe being OTT in the details is helpful now..., just so you have an idea what to do if you are stranded somewhere with him and it feels all wrong

53.3.4 > 12. Certainly doesn't look encouraging. However, you were specifically asking about the effect of the trip on your relationship. Maybe it's saying that traveling in a foreign country is not the best way to develop the relationship. Maybe he'll go to museums while you lie on the beach! But that doesn't mean you shouldn't go...

rosada

llyod - Thanks for that, i wanted Yi to tell me yes go, or no - dont. I didnt want to take a chance cos it means getting hurt and i have been thru that and it will only be stupid to go thru it again. And yes, cos I want it so much - I cannot think clear. I could tell by the Q's I asked, it was as if I was trying to cover all angles. Looked more like desperation to me to be honest.

Meng - Yes Meng, something for me to think through and decide. Ask anyone if going overseas with an ex you have got feelings for is a good idea and they are likely to say no. Ah I feel desperate. And not proud of it. Im trying too hard. I guess I know the purpose of this trip is that it's not cos he wants to spend time with me, but rather that he wants to travel and asked if I wanted to travel with him, as he would have asked anyone else. I shouldnt go if I expect this will be the turning point for the better. I should only go if I can handle it being on a trip with a guy whom I once always hoped would take a trip with me when we were together as a symbol of his affection - and constantly having to battle in my mind that this is not the romantic dream of mine, and we just happen to be in a trip together.

Rosada - You got my feelings right. I am projecting a WHOLE lot of expectations. When he suggested we take a trip together, I almost wanted to 'seal the deal' there and then. He had to say to me to think about it. He was concerned that I would get bored of him. My intuition and inner truth tells me who in the world would go on a trip to some exotic location with an ex?!! It's such a bad idea, having to see others on honeymoon or other lovers and not having the same commitment with my friend and yet endeavouring to be in the same place of other commited people. Pretty foolish.
I just wish I went for some sort of hypnotherapy and forgot about him. How could I so want to be with someone. It's taken 4 years for us to start talking again, and Im so careful I jump at every chance. How desperate is that. I wish when he suggested it I just potrayed myself as being open to it.


And I think 12 pretty much says the trip itself wont do anything to the relationship. Pretty much common sense...if Yi could talk I think it would ask me to use my common sense.
And you are 100% right - I drove myself mad trying to figure out the future, as if trying to plan the best way, place and time where I could make it all come together with him. Yea right.

Trojan - Thanks, a trip should be fun, not having to be akward. Why go and humiliate my self worth much to the horror of my inner self. I read that about being firm and correct in Karcher ( i think. I may be wrong). Bali...romantic setting...sunset...a few drinks...all these sense of familiarity might lead us to do things which he can simply shrug off and say Ooops sorry I got carried away.

You know what this is...I so want to be the girl he goes away to some isalnd with cos he's in love with her. Wishful thinking. Do you see that ad Mastercard has on tele..where they put a price on everything and finally the tag line says " *something something* - priceless". In this case my ad would read "Airtickets $xzy, hotels $xyz, watching the most beautiful sunset $xzy but SELF-WORTH -Priceless."

Thanks guys, appreciate it. I wish I could go on the trip and it'll turn out magically right. I do feel crippled when i get readings like these, cos I take it that I cant go, when I clearly know Yi will never direct me to *do this* or *that*. Am trying to get her to predict what would happen so I can take assurance and go for it. Doesnt work that way.

if you really wanted to go you'd go wouldn't you ? in answer to your first question you got 31.5 which i often take as theres no real feelings about this, ambivalence, undecidedness..not really being moved deep down. On the surface maybe you think you want to go but deep down to me it looks like this doesn't light your bonfire

I love your "ad":
"....SELF WORTH: Priceless."
that should be turned into a t-shirt or greeting card or something!
-r

rose said:

what effects will this trip have on our relationship? (the relationship which doesnt have a name)
53.3.4 --> 12
Is line 3 about firmness and correctness again, and how do i read line 4 with regards to lne 3. And 12 - obstruction, is this bad?
?

Click to expand...

Interesting that you ask for a trip and you get 53 , the geese's journey. What if this journer would give a name to the relationship ?

I don't find that 12 is always about something negative. heaven and earth go to different directions but this sometimes is not necessaraly bad.

Some time ago, I felt that I wanted to cut bonds with a person, because the interaction wasn't give me joy. I asked Yi and got 61>12.First reading was "inner thruth says No" meaning that my thoughts to leave that relationship where confirmed. But pondering on the lines, I realised that 12 was refferring not to the relationship but to me and the things that make me want to walk to a different direction from my inner thuth. For the story, I kept that relationship and I've no regreats about that.

I'm not saying to go, you know better what is the whole thing about but i found it a very interesting reading and wanted to share my experience with 12.

Im updating for the benefit of readers who trawl thru the threads to check out similar hexagrams and changing lines.

Update: It was all talk, no action, the subject was never brought up again.

rose