Our relationship... abandoned?

kalikari · Jan 4, 2010

Precious relationship of many years... can't seem to let go of the guy...

Is there hope that we could work it out? 4.5 ---59
What about his relationship with the woman he left me for? 48.1,6--- 9
What should I do? 38.1,2,3 ---56

Thank you for your help.

ps..Please be patient if i am slow on response, I have run away, heart broken, to India.. and the internet is not very convenient here. : )

lloyd · Jan 4, 2010

Hi kalikari
Stick with the answer you got on your first question and forget about the other two.
Ponder it well for yourself, so the answer may be a starting point for next questions.
4.5 indicates that the right answers may be with 'the guy'.
So, maybe you should double-check his motivations concerning your relationship.
Being in India, if you get close to Pondicherry, drop by, after emailing me.
Don't fret, in this field none of us is beyond some (life-long) sense of ignorance; we all need to learn about love ... a nice mystery ...

flor05 · Jan 4, 2010

off subject

Pondicherry... Reminded me of "Life of Pi" (just like the name of our fellow forum member, Tigerintheboat). Great book.
(you are always suggesting books, Lloyd. Hope you indulge this off-subject comment

)

lloyd · Jan 5, 2010

hi flor05 - Could not get through Pi. I'd rather leave the thread to kalikari:bows:

hollis · Jan 5, 2010

kalikari said:
Is there hope that we could work it out? 4.5 ---59
What about his relationship with the women he left me for? 48.1,6--- 9
What should I do? 38.1,2,3 ---56

4.5, yes. You can work it out.
48 1.6---9 Not really fulfilling, is what 9 says to me.
38 1,2,3 The horse will return, (temporary estrangement) keep moving, transient crisis.

(I mean, I thought about it a lot, and can go lots of direction on differnt levels, 38 3 and all, but what the heck.)

kalikari · Jan 6, 2010

lloyd said:
Hi kalikari
Stick with the answer you got on your first question and forget about the other two.
Ponder it well for yourself, so the answer may be a starting point for next questions.
4.5 indicates that the right answers may be with 'the guy'.
So, maybe you should double-check his motivations concerning your relationship.
Being in India, if you get close to Pondicherry, drop by, after emailing me.
Don't fret, in this field none of us is beyond some (life-long) sense of ignorance; we all need to learn about love ... a nice mystery ...

Thanks for your response lloyd...
I have had to move through so much grief these days trying to accept his decision and move on. Absolutely exhausting and heart wrenching. I am with Ammachi in Amritapuri. Very good place to be to cry out for divine help. She will be going on Her South India tour in a few days... first stop chennai.. It's not far from Pondicherry? You are welcome to come!

Anyway so, are you saying that perhaps 4.5 means that I am foolish to want him to come back?
Or that perhaps there is something I don't understand about his motivations for leaving me?

lloyd · Jan 6, 2010

Hi Kalkari
I see an indication that he has a clearer view of your relationship than you do.
Which is one possible interpretation ... in the end you know best.

PS I do not have the budget to travel around and if I had I would avoid Chennai.

hollis · Jan 7, 2010

hey i know i am chopped liver but I stand by it. The young fool can luck out this time.

Trojina · Jan 7, 2010

hollis said:
hey i know i am chopped liver but I stand by it. The young fool can luck out this time.

"chopped liver" ? Is that a healthy self perception for you Hollis :rofl:

hollis · Jan 7, 2010

just realistic. 'healthy' would be 'pate'.

Ok. If I am going to be a (more) responsible reader, I would say that hex 4 line 5 says the young fool is finally ready to learn. (Maybe they finally see their folly). This, in itself, does not indicate if the relationship is going to be reunited.

meng · Jan 7, 2010

hollis said:
(I mean, I thought about it a lot, and can go lots of direction on differnt levels, 38 3 and all, but what the heck.)

Ain't that the truth. I like your what the hecks, and agree with your second one.

I think it's time to let it go and return home to yourself.

Them: It looks to me like they're learning about each other's quirks and principles, and more or less maintaining the farm.

4.5 involves childlike trust. I'd say it's now a matter of trusting yourself. What the heck!

lloyd · Jan 8, 2010

Hm. Self-trust.
Does that not pre-suppose self-knowledge

If so, without the one no other.
Self-knowledge is said to be extremely rare ...
Might I Ching help by filling in some details?

hollis · Jan 8, 2010

meng said:
.

4.5 involves childlike trust. I'd say it's now a matter of trusting yourself. What the heck!

sweet.

It's interesting, when I have gotten 4 line 5, I always felt so perplexed! In retrospect I see that my openness and perplexity was what was ripe for the experience. As a 4, I was the unexperienced one, the one who keeps asking "are we there yet?" "are we there yet?". Or "does this have to happen? does this have to happen?" But with the line 5, I did feel a certain reassurance, almost like a 61 line 2 kind of thing. So there was the trust you are talking about meng, albeit through the back door maybe.

In your readings, kalikari, I looked back to some of your early posts, which seemed to be about the same relationship, and there was a 59 there as well.

bamboo · Jan 9, 2010

I think 4.5 is such a beautiful line. Young people frequently seem to stumble onto incredible opportunities when they are just starting out, and not because they are young per se but because they haven't learned to be held back by their baggage, they havent learned how to distrust. more than "trusting yourself" it could be not even conceiving of the alternative. There is a saying "God watches out for babies and drunks" ...when they fall, they dont break bones because they are not braced for the worst. sometimes Not Knowing is lucky

lloyd · Jan 9, 2010

they haven't learned to be held back by their baggage, they haven't learned how to distrust.

Can there also be valuable 'baggage' and learning about an increase in trust?

kalikari · Jan 10, 2010

hollis said:
sweet.

It's interesting, when I have gotten 4 line 5, I always felt so perplexed! In retrospect I see that my openness and perplexity was what was ripe for the experience. As a 4, I was the unexperienced one, the one who keeps asking "are we there yet?" "are we there yet?". Or "does this have to happen? does this have to happen?" But with the line 5, I did feel a certain reassurance, almost like a 61 line 2 kind of thing. So there was the trust you are talking about meng, albeit through the back door maybe.

In your readings, kalikari, I looked back to some of your early posts, which seemed to be about the same relationship, and there was a 59 there as well.

Yes...same guy. sadly. :blush:

We had got back together for a while last spring and summer... now he is back with the girl again... yes the same girl.

Self-trust...hmm.. or trust in the Universe, as a small child trust's it's mother?
My dependency on this unsettling and painful relationship is rooted in lack of trust (in my whole life, myself)... and his lack of trust in me was his motivation for leaving me, he said. Funny. Let go and Trust. First within... then it may be possible without.

Sigh.. I still feel so sad and confused though. I guess that's just part of 59.

Thanks for all your responses by the way.. I am in kulangator now following around this crazy Indian saint.

She was just talking about the value of child like trust yesterday.

rodaki · Jan 10, 2010

. . and following the tune of what has been said already here about newness and growth, this is how the exhibition leaflet I got yesterday ends . .

Exercising freedom in such an unreal world seems to be impossible, anymore than being able to jump while you fall (the exhibition's title). What remains is the sweet memory of the time when we could fly. For a child gravity simply does not exist. Though we tumbled straight down from the trees we felt no pain and climbed up again with the same joy, time after time

wish you all the luck in climbing up the tree again with fervor and gusto kalikari!!

lloyd · Jan 10, 2010

To return to the I Ching and the possibility that kalikary may learn something from having lived with her ex.

Line 5 of hexagram 4 is a yin line in a yang position (Wilhelm):
An inexperienced person who seeks instruction in a childlike and unassuming way is on the right path, for the man devoid of arrogance who subordinated himself to his teacher will certainly be helped.

It relates to line 2:
This lines pictures a man who has no external power, but who has enough strength of mind to bear his burden of responsibility. He has the inner superiority and that enable him to tolerate with kindliness the shortcomings of human folly. The same attitude is owed to women …

Lynn mentions explicitly that 5 relies on 2 for guidance.

kalikari · Jan 13, 2010

Hey guys...
In my child-like impatience I inquired the oracle once again

... ok, same question, I know.."The young fool seeks me. At the first oracle I inform him. If he asks two or three times, it is importunity."
(But I really felt like a straight answer would speed my ability to move on)

Ok, Is there any hope for us, or what? 59.5--4

Just the opposite.

Do 4.5 and 59.5 somehow go together?

Sounds to me like I can only pray really hard to god for help?. :weep:

lloyd · Jan 13, 2010

Maybe the answers to your hopes lie in what is behind you? Evaluate the years behind you, see the differences that were there and what part YOU played in them. Take time to let dust settle and think things over. Buy some floweers to put in your room

Our relationship... abandoned?

Supporter

(deceased)

visitor

(deceased)

visitor

Supporter

(deceased)

visitor

Supporter

visitor

meng

Guest

(deceased)

visitor

Supporter

(deceased)

Supporter

visitor

(deceased)

Supporter

(deceased)