Hi everyone,

I wrote weeks ago about a relationship I closed, asking for advice on interpreting the IC consult. The main message of the time, was to think about myself and move on with life. Needless to say, I fell much much much better now, and I am not bitter about my ex anymore (at least, I am not most of the time ;-)).
So I felt like asking the IC for his wisdom again last night.
1. I didn't really ask for a question. I just said I was open to whatever advice he could give me at this point in time in my life. I got hex 21. Seems like there's something I consciously need to do, get to the truth of the matter. I think he told me to disperse ideas, to bite through something which doesn't allow me to get the nourishment I need, but I might be wrong there.
2. I asked a question. As I haven't talked to my ex since we split a couple of months ago, I just asked whether there is no connection at all between the two of us, or whether I just can't see the undercurrents. I got this
Hex 31.2.5>32.
I know those two hexagrams are strictly related to relationships. I have some difficulty interpreting them. Reason is, considering we are not communicating anymore and I am trying to accept it is just over and he's happy with the end of our relationship, I was honestly expecting to receive something such as disperse thoughts, or splitting apart, 23.
ps. Funnily, three weeks ago I asked for how this relationship was changing, and I got 31 as the second hexagram (which now makes me think of a progression in time rather than the context). At the time, I also got 31 when I asked what was the best thing for me to do in order to find piece.

Thanks for any advice you might give me on how to interpret my new reading... as always, don't want to look at things through my hopes and fears...

turandot

I thought a bit about hex 31-32. My conclusion is, this is an answer about how your separation was rightly needed in order to determine a different and happier situation. Hex 31, applied to personal feelings, talks to me about true love, but also about something like a surreptious "fight for power". Here partners seem to (try to) influence each other; but this can work in both directions, positively or negatively, in a virtuous or vicious circle. It seems that the latter was your case (wrong influence - line 2), and this lead to the necessity of exercising one's influence or power more on oneself than on the other, i.e. of seeing things rationally. You were right in splitting up. Hex 32 says to me this is a permanent and wise decision. Sorry if I seem a bit "definitive" - I admit I am, sometimes...!

I like amalia´s interpretation and it makes great sense to me.

In adition:
31.2 talks about a rather "weak, soft" character who likes to move but has no
precise direction (just follows an uncertain desire or wish) while 31.5 is a rather "strong, upright" character (perhaps even a bit to reserved). The Yi advices Line 2 to not move i. e. to run after/chase Line 5.
As you wrote above, you did already ask the Yi twice or even more times
about the future or inner connection between your ex and yourself. Might it be you tryed to influence/change your ex in the past?
In an older posts of yours you wrote: "I was feeling powerless, stunned at the impossibility to get my views... I am not saying understood, but at least heard." (Line 5 not listening/rejecting communication)

I would not be surprised if you and your ex ways cross again one time, may it be in 1 month, 10 months or a year... the Yi at least indicates this: Duration .. perhaps of a vicious circle (as amalia indicates)

From a personal point of view (i am female too) i would recommend you to seek someone who "walks" towards you
All the best - lilly

[Sorry, English is not my native language]

Hi Amalia, hi Lilly,

thank you so much for your comments. Very helpful!
Especially as my starting point was somewhat different, so it is really helping me to think about this. It is absolutely right that there was a major communication problem, and I haven't regretted for a second walking away. And the two figures, soft (2) and strong (5) also bring me back "home".
I asked if there was still some connection because I have the (uncomfortable) feeling of something that remained unsaid. Not on my part. But somehow, some piece is missing. I don't know what it is, I am not even sure that I want to know what it is. But I felt there was something still there, and so I asked if there still were some hidden ties or not.
My resource for studying the I Ching, at least lately, is Carol Anthony. Somehow, her interpretations resonate with me. But I like to ask because I'm aware it's all to easy to be swayed by emotions in reading the I-Ching.
31 to me is not only attraction but influence: influencing a situation of another person through innermost thoughts, for better or for worse.
So, I had read the second moving line as a suggestion, i.e. not to be influenced by an apparent change, for better of for worse, and reserve was to be kept until other's behavior towards us was correct. Giving trust too quickly before the other's process is well established is throwing ourselves away. Considering my past with him, that sounded reeeally familiar.
The moving 5: I interpreted it as being too stiff in my judgement, thus risking my losing objectivity or receptivity to the Sage's advice. I also thought this made sense as I know that the risk is that of "executing" the other person in my mind as hopeless. Which clearly isn't good.
So I concluded the I Ching was probably telling me to walk the fine line between being reserved and not throwing myself away on one side, and not being overly tough and intolerant on the other.
I had interpreted both symbols as referring to me only. So it is really helpful to actually see it as the two sides of the relationship, i.e. the two of us!
As to 32, I didn't see it as an advice on having done the right thing or not (by moving away), but rather as an advice to keep clinging on to what I believe is right, i.e. not to accept disrespect and to look for what I really want in a relationship. Not to give up what I believe in.
As to him showing up sometime in the future, I honestly have no idea. And what's more, I wouldn't know what to say or do... I just don't know.

So, Amalia, Lilly, thanks again for your thoughts! Very appreciated!

turandot

So what happened if you don't mind me asking? Did your x ever come back???