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Sex abstinence and 27 and 29

beadasil

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Hi there

How are you. I have met this really fun guy, only my instinct tells me he is a bit of a "player". Now, he keeps alluding to "having sex" and that he can't wait to "see me" again etc.

Here are the questions I asked the Yi:

Will X retreat if I choose to abstain from having sex with him for the first few dates?
Answer: 27 The corners of the mouth

What will be the outcome if I choose to hang out with X but abstain from sex for one month?

Answer: 29.1.2.5.6 into 27 The corners of the mouth!

27 is a hexagram that I have trouble grasping in its entirety. I am really at a loss here, cannot even offer an explanation first...I am startled...I feel I understand that it is a hexagram that has to do with nourishment so could that mean that if I abstain from sex for the first few dates, I will provide X with spiritual nourishment instead? Or am I way off here...:rofl:

Anyone could give me a guideline of what it might mean? Also, got it twice...29 is about a danger of sorts but again, I cannot put it in context here...

I would appreciate your opinion(s)...

Bea :)
 

beadasil

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Obviously, I am not worried whether X will retreat or not because I have already chosen to hold off on that subject, I was just curious about it and wanted to consult the Yi on this and check the answer against how things will unfold with X on this issue...
 
M

meng

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Hello there.

I am fine. Thanks for asking.

Bit of coincidence perhaps, I thought what I just posted is also in the neighborhood of your question, http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?p=106276#post106276 because 27 is linked to desire: 'being discretionary with what we feed ourselves and others.'

I think the significance here can be linked to asking yourself 'what do I desire from this relationship?' You might also ask 'what don't I want?' I think that would answer your question.

H29 leads me to question whether this is a relational pattern, rather than an isolated encounter. Maybe you like edgy guys? If so, is this habit good for you in the long run?
 

beadasil

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Hey Meng!

"being discretionary with what we feed ourselves and others" is so spot on for this. Thank you, I totally appreciate your assistance and insight. I read the thread you provided up here, too. Very good.

"Edgy guys" have always attracted me, as in edgy sense of humour and interests but I've always avoided "douche bags" like the plague. Now, a "player" I would usually classify as a "douche bag" so I would normally look the other way. However, this guy's sense of humour is so compelling I am at the stage where I am contemplating what to do...should I hang out and see where this goes or...? I think I am going to observe from a distance for a bit because the alternative is too bleak (boredom with a guy of "ordinary" wit).

And probably because of my hesitant behaviour towards him, he's openly seeking me out. He's highly charming. I just gotta keep control over how "fascinated" I get before it's "too late"...

Thank you again for this fantastic insight. Really appreciate it.

Bea :) xx
 

beadasil

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I asked two more questions:

What do I desire from this relationship? 45.4.5 > 2

What does X desire from this relationship? 16.2.3 > 32

I can see how I could be the one that loves the partying, fun side of things and being open to experiences of sorts...

When it comes to him, however, and that hexagram 16 which is always a bit odd...I am baffled by those lines and the hex then turns into 32 "Duration". 16.2 he wants to be in charge somehow, 16.3 not sure understand this...but he wishes to have a long term relationship after all (32)?

Ahem...any help on this would also be appreciated. I would like to be as realistic as possible on this...:rofl:
 
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meng

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Bea,

I have to tell you, the first impression I had of 16/32 was that he desires a steady piece of ass. :rofl:

Whereas I get the impression from your reading you'd really like to have meaningful 'get togethers', where you can be fulfilled as a woman.

Maybe they aren't so different as they initially appear.
 

rodaki

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hi Bea :)

just adding some thoughts here about your two last readings . .

45.4,5 to 2 and 16.2,3 to 32 . . thinking about those two a bit, 16 and 45 both have earth as lower trigram, looks like both of you are working from an open and receptive base . . his earth works under the direction of his thunder, your earth works under the direction of your lake . . what's more, his stance stems from the lower trigram, from below the belt? maybe from his feet and . . say, crotch? your stance stems from the upper trigram, say from your heart and mind . .

16.2 looks like he wants to seize the day and you with it (;)) and release the pent up energy (16.2 leads to 40) but he becomes too anxious and uncertain about it in 16.3 (you can almost see someone in this line looking exasperated, looking upwards saying 'damn! why can't I get this woman on board with me!?) but it looks like he too is not so sure of himself (in Bradford's transitional method his 16.3 corresponds to 40.3 where someone is followed and might be taken over by their scruples . . maybe he has unfinished business to attend to first? or maybe he feels you seeing him as a sort of thief and he feels insulted?)

now to your side of the story, 45.4 seems to say you want to come together (leads to 8) in a rather cool context (45 according to Bradford again talks about a sense of security, maybe keep your back covered?) and gradually work towards trusting his thunder (45.5 leads to 16) . . you don't wanna go for a big prize, just take in what comes naturally, the rest will find their way around (as in 8.5, the line that corresponds to your 45.5 in the transitional method) . . maybe you wanna dance a little first and then see how much water his bag can hold . .

in a strange way, the relating hexagrams 2 and 32 seem to say that your context is more primal where his is more refined (32 speaks already about a relationship between developed aspects of yin and yang) . . unless of course he is already in a steady relationship and is just making things up :eek: I hope this is not so :bag:


bottom line: if i were you I would trust my gut feelings here and keep a steady pace, let him take the lead since he is all thundery and energetic but don't go much faster than you can . . (miscellaneous thoughts: thunder and lake can come together in two ways, either thunder under lake in hexagram 17 where you follow your guiding star, or lake under thunder in 54 where you can find yourselves way beyond your own depths, feeling uncomfortable and unable to do much to satisfy your needs but trying to keep up with the erratic behaviours of thunderers :eek: . .)

I hope I've caught something of your questions here and I'm not talking nonsense :blush: . . wishing you all the best with this!!
 

beadasil

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Meng and Rodaki = amazing!! :bows:

Meng, Your post had me howl with laughter!! :rofl: So spot on, thank you for the straight interpretation. Yeah, I "feel" that from him, too...I think he is intrigued :cool:

Rodaki!! I gotta read your message again cos there is so much to take in but at first glance, it was like seeing the image of what is happening (my feelings on the subject at least). That's amazing. Yeah, he is totally "thunder and lightning", very open about what he wants, he asked me out but I declined cos the conditions were not ideal for me that particular evening. So he's away for a few days now and he's texting me flirting in a more subtle way...I am sure he is reflecting on how best to get through to me now cos I am obviously NOT one of his "groupies"...and you know, I like him but I will not give in to his "thunder" until "my lake" feels comfortable enough to allow him in (no pun intended).

He is VERY single. I think it is because he likes it that way, not sure but he might have a harem of women cos he is considered good-looking. I am not impressed by that crap. I want substance ;)

And I will let him lead cos I understand that his "thunderous" side needs that but I will decide what tune I dance to. This way if he retreats I'll know he was not worth it in the first place.

Thanks again, guys!! I truly appreciate you helping me understand these answers :bows:

I will keep you updated!!

Bea :) xx
 
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beadasil

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I wanted to post the development of this relationship in relation to the responses I received from the Yi...

I hung out with X this week and we had a lot of fun, both felt very comfortable with each other. He told me he'd love to have sex with me :)rofl:) but he's more interested in seeing me again so he is happy to delay that side of our friendship / relationship in order to get to know each other better. I was pleasantly surprised. He did hint that he was interested in the long haul. Well, the Yi could not have been more exact, I must say.

Thanks to everyone that has helped me out deciphering these responses :bows: and I hope my follow-up here can help others get a good idea of the oracle's meaning.
 

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