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29.2.4 to 45

jewels358

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I did Clarity's Flash reading and then my computer was shut down -- this happens very rarely -- so I can't get Clarity's interpretation back. I read through many interpretations of the 29.4 with the 4 change - and it gave me some insight. I especially saw some Members say that the Abysmal is about going into the Unknown, especially about commitment, marriage, etc.

My situation is very complicated... I'm 43 years old and have not had my heart open since I left my daughter's father, my ex-husband, some 6 years ago. I have always focused my life on the transpersonal journey and am not into all that pining energy... but anyway the bottom line is this reading is about a soul-mate from high school that has claimed to be in love with me for the past 30 years. We have always met up at cross purposes over the years... and to be honest, we are still probably at cross purposes. I have lived in the UK for a decade and moved back to the US with my 8y ear old daughter 1.5 years ago.

I have not seen this man for several years. He turned up in LA last week on business, and I realized that I have pushed him away for all these years in the search of the Great Adventure. I think I never wanted to allow myself to feel personal love for him because it would be about going back. I therefore lectured him whenever we had our brief but maddening encounters -- that it was not me personally that he was 'loving' but rather what I symbolized. I told myself he doesn't know ME - he only knows his 'idea' of me. This was the story I told myself for all this time. But now I am realizing I have always rationalized this 'away' from my own personal feelings... and I'm actually shocked about it.

OK I know this is way too much information! I am very sorry about that. There are even more complications than I've indulged you with... but I'll stop whilst I'm behind!

Anyway the way I read Clarity's version was not about Danger but really some endless Flow. Wilhelm's translation is as always very different. Does anyone know how I can get back into Clarity's translation so I can spend more time contemplating the Advice here?

Also any ideas of what to look at more deeply, I'd be immensely appreciative.

Thank you.
 

willowfox

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It appears that you need to drop all your pretenses and start accepting him for what he is, a potential lover. It is you that is trying to over complicate a basically simple situation of boy meets girls, looking at him as if were an alien which of course he is not.This guy obviously thinks a lot of you so why not see it for what it really is, a straight forward offer of romance. So, stop pushing him away as you both need each other, even if you think you don't. You need to trust people sometimes.
 

jewels358

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Thank you - I already figured out that I have hid from my Personal feelings for soooo long because I was afraid of reciprocating the love... however, unfortunately, our lives are not in synch right now because I refused to take him back in the past....

I was wondering if the 'danger' is me facing the truth of the feelings, standing up for the truth of our connection to the 'outside' influences... and then what the changing lines suggest?

Others have already gotten hurt because I didn't take him back - and he has been co-existing with his own ex, the mother of his daughter... bla bla - long story.

So I cannot simply call him up. But I can send him a message -- that I have been wrong, in denial, all this time.... perhaps that is the danger/ courage I need.
 

jewels358

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Hi Edge. I really appreciate your help. You know, I can't remember the literal question, as usually my questions are 'looking at' something... deeper insight. I felt like I was asking both 'what to do' as well as 'what to look at'... I felt tragic because I realized the gravity of how I had not 'noticed' what this person had been saying to me over and over again... and I guess one of my questions was 'is there any hope'...

I really appreciate any other insight and I'm looking at all other discussions about the interpretation of 29. Obviously the changing lines and 45 are impt also.

Many Many thanks.
 

jewels358

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Hi Edge. I don't know if you saw my last response regarding my query?

Yesterday I asked another question -- it was hard, because I know the 'answer' to many questions... I know that he feels/ thinks he has always loved me and it's been me in his soul for 30 years... I know I am finally realizing I couldn't reciprocate due to my Life's Adventure, and he symbolized 'going back' -- and also my heart didn't 'trust'.... Now that it seems almost 'too late'... our lives are centered around our children, etc etc... I was first thinking does he know I am now open? But then I thought the better question would be this --

"If he knew (how I felt) - would he change things in his life to make room for something 'Real' with me'.

And the answer I got was 56.6 --> to 62

I have had 62 before and I know it's an auspicious hex.

I also see 56 as the 'Wanderer' I have been? It has honed my character, spirit and consciousness...

Any other insights?

I'm so appreciative! I've had several readings with Clarity over the years, and have always focused my life on my spiritual goals and how they related to incarnating soul into body/ projects... I was married for several years to my daughter's father in the UK, and it was indeed a Great Love. Unsustainable due to creative genius meets manic depression --- and so I made choices for more holy pursuits in the guise of 'brands with soul' yada yada... I'm just saying all this to communicate this is not a whimsical girl asking the Yi for advice with a guy.... it feels indeed much more Significant than that, which is why I asked.

Any feedback is sincerely appreciated.
 

willowfox

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Personally I cannot see him making any radical changes in his life now, years ago probably yes, but now he appears to be kind of fixed in his ways, and therefore "change" would not be on his agenda these days, you get what you see.
 

jewels358

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Mr Fox - Can you tell me how you see this with the reading, please?

Edge, can you take a look?

Thanks!!
 

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