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How do I get out of this situation (marriage and finances)? 55.4>36

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Hortense21

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I posted here a few weeks ago, but realized that I had put the cart before the horse. I'm attracted to this man I hardly know, who is married (like me), but there is so much wrong with my marriage that I had managed to successfully ignore in the last several years, maybe hoping it would get better, I would change, my husband would change, circumstances would change, that I have to start here: with our relationship/marriage.

At the beginning of this week, something (financially related that involved him and has also quite strong repercussions for me) happened that made me think, that's it, can't do it no more ... Strangely enough, I received mostly positive encouragement from Yi on questions like: "Where is this marriage headed?", "Is my husband the right (romantic) partner for me?". So I let it go. Then, this morning, I asked: "How do I get out of this (financial) situation?" thinking an active personal approach, and got 55.4 >36.

Now, there are lots of posts on 55.4 and I tried to read them all: There's nothing abundant with my situation - and Line 4 seems to mirror that: it's completely dark (a thick black curtain envelops me, the stars are visible, that's how I feel) and while working in this darkness (covertly?), I find a "hidden lord". This is someone I wouldn't normally consider as an ally or maybe a part of myself - or what I fear, an enemy (LiSe)? I asked: "Who is this ally?" and received 23 Unchanging. This is all very mysterious to me. "Splitting apart" from the relationship? Sorry that I'm such a newbie. Help would be much appreciated.
 

Changstein

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I'd really like to help with this.
I think what your reading is suggesting is that you narrow your focus, as though it's completely dark and all you can see is the North star. It's hard, but try to block out all this other noise and concentrate on this pinpoint in the distance.
Similarly, "meeting the dark lord" suggests confronting the main problem directly, which perhaps you have yet to identify. (Think of "lord" in the sense of "chiefly", a ranking or priority rather than a literal other person.)

This is what you want and intend to do. Put the horse before the cart.
Except, 'I really want help with my marriage, so I asked about this financial situation..." etc sounds a lot more like you're still trying to get at the problem from a number of indirect angles and reading on questions that are tangentially related.

You are describing what my doctor would call "a general malaise". It's hard to diagnose because we're not sure what the cheif medical complaint is.

Step 1: Shine a light on that hidden lord so you know what you're up against. I would suggest taking a step back, cast a reading on a question like "what's wrong in my life, what's the main problem?". And spend sone good quality time with that one reading before following up with more questions. Maybe post it here. I know this is difficult and counter-intuitive. I really think it will help.

Maybe we should take 23 as the answer to that question instead of doing a new one, since you were also asking about the identity of the dark lord. What do you think?
 
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Hortense21

Guest
you're still trying to get at the problem from a number of indirect angles and reading on questions that are tangentially related.

Thanks for your reply, Changstein. Re your quote above - Yes and no. Financial issues have been in the past and are in the present our main problem. I'm the on and off sole breadwinner (at the moment more "on" than "off") and this week I suddenly realized that this will probably not change, that I will kind of always be his safety net when something goes wrong in his jobs, expenditures etc. and I'm tired of it. Plus, now it really starts to hurt me financially, and I feel I'm losing the ground under my feet.

At the same time, it is awfully difficult to just call it quits - Hex 23? Does it mean I have to face that - I'm not sure.

I'm in the US and heading to bed now ... just wanted to leave a quick note...
 
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Hortense21

Guest
I opened my planner this morning and realized that my weekly reading (I'm doing weekly readings every Monday morning asking for the week) is 10.3 > 1. I had cast this before the financial stuff broke loose.

I also realized that there's a lot of darkness in these two readings: 55.3 >36: it's dark, only the (guiding?) stars are visible, I'm meeting someone/something of help (externally, internally) that's normally hidden, turning into the relating hexagram 36 Brightness hiding; again, advice to remain in the dark, be very careful, don't shine your light too strongly, keep a low profile. Then the tiger in 10.3., an unseen force in the semi-dark jungle. It's important again to tread slowly and be part of the darkness to not alert the tiger. Apparently I got bitten though (the financial stuff happened completely unexpectedly indeed), but the whole thing turns into the most powerful creative force there is - Hex 1....
 

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