1.1.2.3 to 12 Abstinence?

[Wondering]

To what extent is abstinence a healthy path for me right now? 1.1.2.3 to 12

This has been a rough year (after a difficult breakup) with heartache and not much fun. I'm in a therapeutic program that encourages a period of abstaining from relationship and sex to take a break from compulsive patterns. I've been mostly abstinent for more than a year with a brief former lover blip. Right now I'm experiencing mutual interest with someone and wanting to act on it- wanting to get close with this person. I'm being encouraged by advisers to refrain, to stay the course of abstinence of withdrawal. This is hard!

I can't tell if this reading is encouraging me not to act or just reflecting that my action is blocked- Duh! IS it affirming that my creative energy is being hijacked by relationships, and to block this for now- or to unblock, let go of the rule? It's true that I'm trying to get my life on track as an artist- and have distracted/squandered my energy in the past. I could not find any examples of similar readings. If anyone has any thoughts on this, I would much appreciate.

 

[moss elk]

Blocked is a bad name for 12.
39 is more like Blocked.

Seperating is a better name for 12. 'Heaven (male) and Earth (female) do not interact'
(unlike in 11 when they unite.)
'the jun zi seperates from inferior people and doesn't take rewards from them.'

So, about your reading.
You are in a program run by professionals and they are encouraging you to be single as a means of self growth. And you met a guy...
and are now considering throwing the program all out the window.

So you've got two messages here.
Hex 1: Perseverence Furthers
(not giving up)
Hex 12: Seperate yourself from inferior people.

Does it make sense now?

 

[Wondering]

Yup!

I guess I can determine over time if this guy is an inferior (or not inferior) person. For now I've decided only to meet him in social gatherings and I've communicated to him that I'm conflicted- because of attraction vs. my program. But we text, (which may be a bad idea). Thank you Moss Elk for the simple clarification of the hexes.

 

[mulberry]

My personal 2 cents: It would be sad to give up a potentially healthy, happy relationship because of a program telling you, one size fits all, that abstinence is the only answer to self-growth and past compulsive patterns. Maybe this makes sense in a spiritual monastic community, but this doesn't quite sound like that. You've already been through a year of abstinence. What is the end goal, according to the people who run the program? Are you meant to never have a stable or healthy sexual relationship and remain single indefinitely? What's the criteria for you being "ready" for a relationship again? I'm wondering if the people in the program are the "inferior ones" Yi is telling you about.

In terms of the reading itself, 1.1.2.3->12 suggests to me at least that you need to focus on your own independent thinking. What resonates with you? What is your gut feeling? 12 is a perfect background answer, as Moss Elk pointed out, to a situation involving abstinence. But only you can really determine what the lines in 1 are telling you about your self-growth, and who the inferior one(s) are in this situation.

 

[Wondering]

Thank you Mulberry. It's helpful to be reminded of my own compass and independent thinking- and the openness to questioning the actual inferior element. The end goal of the program is healthy relating with oneself and with other- comfort with being single or in relationship. There's just a recommended time of pausing to regroup/examine rather than continuing to enact the same compulsive habits. My gut and impulse want more information- information that I would gather from getting to know him a little better through interaction. The program says refrain altogether. I guess I can follow my gut toward greater understanding on all counts.

 

[rosada]

Why not ask the I Ching about the potential of this relationship?