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1.3 to 10 - A marriage proposal

Poppysopp

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After a major break up I got together with a man who had been crazy about me for years. Eventually, he proposed. I said yes, but now I am getting cold feet and wondering what future holds for us. The hexagram 1 seems to be promising, but I am not sure about the hexagram 10. Any advice?
 

long yi

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1.3 to 10 Long Yi's analysis

神煞:天乙—酉亥 福星—子戌 日禄—巳 羊刃—午 驿马—寅 桃花—酉 华盖—辰
干支:甲午年 壬申月 丙子日 己丑时
旬空:辰巳  戌亥  申酉  午未


六神  伏神    乾宫:乾为天(六冲)     艮宫:天泽履
         【本 卦】           【变 卦】
青龙       ▅▅▅▅▅ 父母壬戌土 世   ▅▅▅▅▅ 父母壬戌土  
玄武       ▅▅▅▅▅ 兄弟壬申金     ▅▅▅▅▅ 兄弟壬申金 世
白虎       ▅▅▅▅▅ 官鬼壬午火     ▅▅▅▅▅ 官鬼壬午火  
滕蛇       ▅▅▅▅▅ 父母甲辰土 应○→ ▅▅ ▅▅ 父母丁丑土  
勾陈       ▅▅▅▅▅ 妻财甲寅木     ▅▅▅▅▅ 妻财丁卯木 应
朱雀       ▅▅▅▅▅ 子孙甲子水     ▅▅▅▅▅ 官鬼丁巳火  

You two do not love each other.
1.4 relationship line chen earth - empty element under the house of marriage. He is not sure.
1.6 relationship line xu earth - empty under the year. You are not sure.
1.4 change to 3.4 relationship line is now chou earth, which merges with the house of spouse. He wants it. Man want sex. The male line changes into a female line, implying sexual intimacy. The hour of the reading is chou earth also. Body contact sex...in mind.

Hex 10 is 5 male line and 1 female line. You can attract the opposite sex, but at present, no other takers.
line 1.5 and 10.5 is third party shen metal which appears as house of marriage, but it is empty under the house of spouse.

Hex 10: the female's loyalty and heartfelt for the marriage is missing. It is an average relationship, but it is far from perfect. The female does not know what she wants in a successful marriage at this point in life.

A lot to work on for the future if the goal from both parties is not only sex, but a true partnership with cares for each other is missing. No true love at the present moment.

Line 10.2 is mao wood female and line 10.6 is relationship xu earth. They merge, but xu earth is hollow under the house of marriage.

1.4 an 10.4 are both officer wu fire, strong under the year, but 1.1 is child line (probably your soul zi water) that repels the 1.4 and 10.4. Your soul is not in it. Officer line 4 is the door position. He waits and sees.

Two very different personality are getting together for a marriage. It is a windy road afterwards. The answer is in you. You do not know what you want.

Hex 10 is equivalent to 10 of tarots
Quote
Love: The 5 of Pentacles is not a particularly happy indicator when it comes to love questions, unfortunately. You may have your eye on someone who you feel is not treating you the way they should. It may be that you need to stop fantasizing about this person entirely. This card can be very much a card of feeling left out in the cold. It's important to remember that there is never only one person that we can be with and have a soul-level, happy, meaningful relationship. When love is right, you don't have to do back flips to make it work. Broaden your horizons and try hard to think positively. You are not an unlovable troll.

In a relationship reading the Five suggests a separation or loneliness within the relationship. You may have all you need materially, such as money and things but lack emotionally and spiritually. Inner change is needed here. You may be caring for a sick or handicapped partner and this is testing your spiritual beliefs. Financial troubles can be causing problems within the relationship. If your relationship is strong, then you will ride out the storm and this period of want and struggle will only tighten the bond between you. If not, then The Five of Pentacles can highlight shallowness in a relationship. You will need to question what brought you together in the first place as financial gain or status may have been the driving factor and not compatibility or love? Your partner may retreat from you, leaving you feeling left out in the cold, unwanted and unloved.

Unquote

Next year 2015 is wei earth. 10.3 is chou earth. Conflict starts by 2015. It can be resolved. It is either bend or break. In any event, both of you do not agree on many issues. You will not find mutual happiness in the longer term. Something is missing. Ask yourself what it is.
 

Poppysopp

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Long Yi, thank you for such as an elaborate answer. However, I feel that I was not that elaborate when describing my situation. I would definitively say that “either bend or break” is a key phase here. I have been knowing my fiancé for years and before him I had two major break-ups which made me contemplate my relationships with men. My previous relationships could be described as intense, highly emotionally charged and utterly sexual. None of them ended well and I have chosen to marry my fiancé since he is everything what I want from a guy – he is loving, dedicated and I trust him. After asking the original question, I asked once again in order to get an additional clarification: “What was wrong with my previous relationships and how does it relate to my present one?”. I got 62.3.6. to 35. I assume that my approach was too idealistic and I was not able to see the real picture, but the experience has helped me to choose wisely this time (the progress). I would agree that our relationship is not ideal, and yes, I do feel sometimes as I have to take care of a child (he is bipolar and suffer from panic attacks) and since I am going through the Saturn return I also feel as my spiritual beliefs have been tested. In addition, we both have gone through a lot of pain in the last couple of years. Yet, I do feel as we love each other deeply and that I have found my peace with him. And one thing more – he is to be divorced the next year (he married this girl to help her get papers – now she is not willing to end the marriage since she has not managed to achieve this) and in order to do so, he will have to go back to his homeland and spend some time there. So we will be separated for a while and there is a possibility that I will get a job abroad. Therefore, I am wondering if I Ching is telling me that we will definitively have to “either bend or break” in order to face all these challenges and built something solid and long-lasting which would help us to transform our lives and make us better people?
 

long yi

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Iching is the book of change. There are limits to the prediction of a longer term future.

For example, events are classified into
short term: less than 6 weeks.
immediate term: up to about 6 months.
longer term: up to one year.

In your situation, you are trying to project a longer term future of a year or more. This is not possible.

A person can change his/her mind as events unfold. Both Western astrology and Chinese astrology can be used to analyze a couple's compatibility in a longer term relationship (strength, weakness, opportunity, threats). Birthday up to the hour and GPS locations of the birth place are used. This is beyond the scope of a simple Iching reading analysis.

Iching reading analyze a single event (usually) and its relationship among the players, usually within a very short term future.

In your cases, there are too many hurdles: (a) a bipolar disorder child that requires long term treatment and care; (b) a male who is not divorced yet; (c) a job abroad for yourself; (d) a female who may still be desirable for other suitors (hexagram 10). (a) + (b) + (c) reflects hex 1 which is everything hollow, without substances.

To make things work, there need to be a plan and also an exit plan in case it does not work without harming anyone involved. In this case, there is a minor involved.

To call it quit, things and events are left behind. One starts new.

This is a personal decision. I can only suggest that one uses common sense. To help and care for someone with bipolar disorder is a life time commitment with tremendous sacrifice. It makes all the other problems minor, in particular the child is not your biological child. There is no wait and see, fast in and quick out situation. One cannot complain about the path one picks for the next 30+ years.

You have to decide for yourself than looking back into the past with Iching readings. Seek help from friends & family that you can trust on guidance.
 

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