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11.2 meanings

elizabeth

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To say that I've lost hope is an understatement. I asked the Yi what is my best course of action, but my intent was how do I approach things mentally now. Bc I see no hope in any area of my life. Not job, not hobby/fulfillment/passion, and not , certainly, in relationships.

The yi said 11.2 >36.

I have done extensive reading on 11.2 but I can't get a good clear idea of it.

I gather that 11 (Peace) is harmony and stability. But line 2 says, among other interpretations, the following:

Line 2: I walk in the middle./ I am not lured into remaining any one smaller part of my being./ I trust my soul to lead me to wholeness./ I accept imperfections recognizing all phases of life as functions of growth. By correcting the past we achieve harmony.

Line 2: in times of prosperity it is important above all to possess enough greatness of soul to bear with imperfect people. For in the hands of a great master no material is unproductive; he can find use for everything. But this generosity is by no means laxity or weakness. It is during times of prosperity especially that we must always be ready to risk even dangerous undertakings, such as the crossing of a river, if they are necessary. So too we must not neglect what is distant but must attend scrupulously to everything. Factionalism and the dominance of cliques are especially to be avoided. Even if people of like mind come forward together, they ought not to form a faction by holding together for mutual advantage; instead, each man should do his duty. These are four ways in which one can overcome the hidden danger of a gradual slackening that always lurks in any time of peace. And that is how one finds the middle way for action. This is the way to tread the middle path.

Four ways: forbearing ... resolved ... vigilant ... impartial .


Line 2: The Superior Man can find a use for everything, and is not dismayed by the shortcomings of others, for the great can make use even of the imperfect. Particularly in prosperous times we must not hesitate to undertake dangerous but necessary enterprises; at the same time taking care not to join forces with others for mere personal advantage.

Line 2: Patient in barren times. Ready to wade into the waters when needed. Not forgetting what is far away, companions who are gone. Attaining honor by moving toward a stable center. Shining one's light indeed.

Line 2: You are surrounded by wasteland/cross the river and leave where you are, your friends will disappear.


36 ‘Brightness hidden. Constancy in hardship bears fruit.’
In the last days of the Shang dynasty as it fell into corruption, Prince Ji was one of the very few virtuous men remaining at court. Remonstrating with the ruler would invite brutal retributions; to flee would be a shameful desertion.

The story goes that once, the king and his entourage were so drunk they literally didn’t know what day it was. Messengers were sent to ask Ji. Rather than reveal himself as the only one who knew, he feigned drunkenness and madness. In this way he was able to survive through the last days of Shang without compromising his principles by cooperating with the regime.

36: ‘Brightness Hidden’ also means ‘Brightness Wounded’. Since others do not share your standards or insight, it would be dangerous to let the light of your character shine out freely. Perhaps you have been injured; perhaps you fear injury. Yet you cannot, or will not, leave the situation in search of a stronger position. Instead, you stay true to the light and keep it burning in these hard times by hiding it away.

___

By correcting the past... what needs to be corrected?

This may sound funny but what does it mean to walk in the middle? I mean to be balanced? How do you think or react? I typically need to have a mindset and then i follow it: Ie, I'm going to allow myself to ponder this, or focus on that, or ignore this. I dont understand what this means to walk "in the middle." It sounds at first very balanced and stable, but to juggle things and adjust is not secure, it's constant change.

So which is it??
 

ginnie

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The "middle path" of Buddha is roughly equivalent to following the Golden Rule and treating everybody -- without making any exceptions whatsoever -- the same way you wish to be treated yourself.

In practice: We can accomplish a lot for the peace and prosperity of all -- self and others -- by working from a concealed position. You have the strength or ability within yourself already and no one else needs to know about it.

I happen to very much appreciate the clarity of Legge's translation of 11.2:

...shows one who can bear with the uncultivated, will cross [a river] without a
boat, does not forget the distant, and has no selfish friendships. Thus does he prove himself acting in accordance with the course of the due Mean.
 
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elizabeth

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Thanks Ginnie.

I am questioning whether I am doing this myself now, or not, and if not, what I can change in order *to* do it. But I dont have an answer yet.
 

ginnie

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To say that I've lost hope is an understatement.Bc I see no hope in any area of my life. Not job, not hobby/fulfillment/passion, and not , certainly, in relationships. The yi said 11.2 >36.

I suggest you try one or two Bach Flower Remedies because they're so good at re-balancing emotional states.

When you said you had 'lost all hope,' I thought of Sweet Chestnut. It doesn't sound like you've given up all hope, otherwise you wouldn't have consulted the I Ching. Also, your reading suggests that you are not at the literal end of your rope, in a state of exhaustion (hex 47).

Maybe your situation is more that you are living under the thumb of someone else? Well, your outer circumstances don't have to matter so much. Our outer circumstances have been brought about by Fate and we ourselves often cannot change them very much. But we can still accomplish a lot of what we want to get done anyway, despite adverse or limiting circumstances.

Dr. Edward Bach formulated 38 remedies, each one for a specific mental or emotional state. The information on this is available online and the actual remedies are often sold in larger health food stores. :)
 

gene

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Hi Elizabeth

I think the key to your reading here is in the words, "The master can find use for everything." And I get the feeling you are feeling a little useless right now. I would suggest that it is more a case of "you haven't found your right place in life yet." This can be frustrating. I have been there. While everything seems dismall, this line offers a ray of hope.

Now, I have no clue as to whether you can really find a job or a relationship or whatever. I wish the best for you in those areas. But it may be those things are not meant for you. I am not saying that is true, I am just saying it is a possibility. But it boils down to this. There is something available to you that you do not see yet. Perhaps your destiny is not in an eight to five job, but in a self oriented type of business opportunity or in some kind of work you do on your own. What do you do best? Do you enjoy doing it? Then find a way to make it profitable. This is just a suggestion. I do not know the circumstances in your life. But I am willing to bet there is something that you very much like to do. It may take some thinkng, but it might be worth it in the long run.

Gene
 
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elizabeth

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Thank you ginnie, and gene for the replies. Ginne, I have not the $15 for any remedies now. I just last week signed up for unemployment income, the final straw. But I am curious how they work, do you inhale them or put them on your skin or what?

Gene,
I have begun my own translation business (written translations) and have a website and domain name etc. I have begun advertising. I've been doing translations for over 14 yrs but now am officially giving a name ot my services etc. The problem is, there's lots of competition and I am not getting orders. I was working for agencies this summer but all the orders have dried up. I have sent out resumes to normal office jobs (that i do not want) just in an attempt to find *some* income. Nothing in any area is producing results.

I have just completed (and received contract for) my first book, which is coming out next year. Now I am waiting while it is being copy edited at the publisher's. (waiting waiting). I am working on writing a second book now, and booked a trip to another country to complete research for 2 weeks at the end of November. Waiting for that to happen too. Waiting waiting.

I am putting out efforts in EVERY area. Nothing is happening. And nothing has been happening for 3 mos. So -- I"m well aware of where my interests and even where my talents lie, but none of those are coming up roses or being rewarded now. So I started to expand out into things I dont like to do, because *something* has to take root at some point...but nothing is happening. And you're right: it is INCREDIBLY frustrating.

I am a high achiever and perfectionist...i've done a lot in my life. I know that hard work brings results. In all honesty though, now in my mid-30s, i'm tired of "achieving achieving." Its not rewarding to come home at the end of the day to a stack of books with my name on them if i dont have someone to share it with. So the bottom line is that if i dont find a rewarding something... i really dont see myself lasting on this planet longer term. I think there's more to life than just work, even if it is publishing books or running your own business. However I know that fate does not bless all of us with Love, only a select few. And I may not have been chosen for it.
 

ginnie

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What do you do best? Do you enjoy doing it? Then find a way to make it profitable. This is just a suggestion. I do not know the circumstances in your life. But I am willing to bet there is something that you very much like to do. It may take some thinking, but it might be worth it in the long run.

Even if Elizabeth is of the opinion that she doesn't like it very much (right now), she is actually still a Master of it. She has come to be a Master of something already. I don't think she would have gotten this line otherwise ...

People don't cross rivers without boats without mastery. It's a selfless kind of mastery; not the egotistical type of mastery.

Other people don't know how she does it.

We could be speaking about a quality Elizabeth possesses that is entirely intangible. We cannot know because not much background has been given with this question.
 

elizabeth

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Unfortunately the only insight I have into this is as follows: I have an insanely unbreakable (heretofore, no promises about going forward, in all truth) staying power and perseverence. Probably even to my detriment. My discipline and ability to endure really bad circumstances (from plain living conditions, to bureaucratic tape, to emotional destruction). I have no idea where it comes from. I didnt learn it from anyone or anything it's just there.

But in all truth NOW (for the first time in ..probably ever) I dont feel I have that anymore. I want to throw in the proverbial towel. I'm morally worn out from all this. Basically the past 7+ yrs of constant battle in all areas. And I just dont think i can keep it up.

Thats the only thing that comes to mind in terms of "hidden" talents or whatever.
 

gene

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Hi Elizabeth

I am in the process of trying to get a book published myself. First on Amazon kindle, and I don't know how much longer it can take. It is in the ready status on Amazon kindle but I don't know much more than that. Once it gets going there, I am going to try to get it traditionally published. It is the first time for me, (I should have been doing this all my life) and I keep running into things I didn't know about the process and it has really slowed things down. Right now, I am working on publishing a book on the I Ching, not a translation, but maybe something about relationships in the I Ching, or esoteric aspects of the I Ching, but some of my posts may someday become part of a book. (Nothing will be in any book regarding personal readings or such.)

I have had some of the same feelings you express about my frustrations with things in the past. But it will work out. It will work out for you too, and I would not be thinking that your time on earth is short. Even if it is uncomfortable, (and believe me, I have known discomfort) it is a necessary part of our growth and spiritual flowering.

Hang in there, from some of the posts here, especially ginnies most recent post, it appears that you really do have talent. Don't sacrifice that talent, even if it is not working right now. Look at hexagram 50 line 3. It speaks of one who has talent but no one recognizes it. The commentary says though, "If only he/she will assure to be posessed of a spiritual power, sooner or later, he or she will find a place and his/her talents will be recognized.

It is not over, not even close.

Gene
 
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charly

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...
We could be speaking about a quality Elizabeth possesses that is entirely intangible. We cannot know because not much background has been given with this question.
Hi, Ginnie:

You have touched the key, I believe. Elizabeth has not told us the story, we need more accuracy for making readings or giving advice.

Elizhabeth:

If you are concealed and feigning madness like the Count of Zi, you never might be seen as an object of disire, be in LOVE or in WORK.

When in time of veiling our light we remain excessively exigent with ourselves, we do the same with others, and they perceive the light that we have tried to conceal.

Try to be more tolerant with yourself and with others, You have improved enough, worked enough, suffered enough.

Stop suffering, stop any pressure on yourself, stop fearing. And remain visible.

In the work area, stop asking for jobs. Put your sight on opportunities that might be profitable for you, then look for the way to negotiate for it. Say, have in your mind the goal of profitability, but be conscient that the other part also will look for his own profit, you must have a clear idea of what can you offer that be of value for the other. Dont abandon the project to his luck, make following, go as far as you need.

Don't believe that the only that matters for getting a job is proficiency, it matters the person, say you.

Even, maybe, love is but another sort of job.

Meanwhile you give us more details about your life, your work, your book, this is what H.36 says in the received text:


ming2: clear / bright // to understand /
yi2: a barbarian // wound /
li4: benefit / profit / profitable /
jian1: difficult / hard /
zhen1: divination / omen // perseverance / chastity /

1st. version:

BRIGHT WOUND.
Wounds of love,
Narcisistic wounds ...
... are painful but give us wiseness,
and the opportunity of understanding another wounded people

PROFITABLE [ALTHOUGH] DIFFICULT OMEN.
It will cost, but it will be profitable.


2nd. version:

UNDERSTANDING BARBARIANS.
Negotiating with businessmen.
Being comprehensive with people.

PROFITABLE HARD OMEN.
Hard work of negotiation,
... but fixed in mind the goal of profitability.

All the best,


Charly

P.D.:
Take care, there is another version:
PROFITABLE, HARD CHASTITY.
Profitable to promise but not to give?
Profitability makes hard to retain chastity?

I don't know, but beware.

Ch.
 
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themis

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Cheer up lady ! All's not lost. Things will brighten up, there's a limit to what one can endure !
I see no reason why YOU TOO should not be entitled to a happy relationship with the kind of
'beau' you'd like to have by your side. Things may brighten up next year ... next year is just
around the corner and on the job front your prospects could be enhanced. Now that's something
to look forward to ! Just be on the look out for the 'signs' the universe will place along your path.
No extra effort is required apart from your usual job-seeking ventures. If it's meant to be trust
that it'll come your way. Que sera, sera.

And by the way, age 36 is young. This is the 21st C so don't compare yourself to your Mother's
generation. In addition, career-oriented ladies tend to marry later ... in their mid, late 30s and
until late 40s.

Take care. :)
 

elizabeth

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Whoa, I didnt realize there were 3 comments on this thread.Thanks for corresponding back to me -- I only came back bc I was going to see if there were comments. I'm glad there are. I will reply in reverse order.

Hi Themis,
Well as it is, there's no way I'm getting married before age 39 anyway. I will be 37 just after the new year and that's presuming that i meet someone ("the one") immediately, and we date for an appropriate amount of time (2 yrs) there 's already no way i can have a child before then. Which to me is old. I didnt want to be a mom at 40 with no energy...but i dont have much choice.

Gene --
hexagram 50 line 3. It speaks of one who has talent but no one recognizes it. The commentary says though, "If only he/she will assure to be posessed of a spiritual power, sooner or later, he or she will find a place and his/her talents will be recognized.

Not being recognized. It feels that way. But I dont even care about recognition and fame. I didnt write/publish my books or do my work for that. I'm not making money from them either. I did it for internal fulfillment. The thing is, it leaves a lot to be desired compared to finding human companionship (love). But I do appreciate your comments. It helps to know i am not alone.
 
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elizabeth

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Charly,

Elizabeth has not told us the story, we need more accuracy for making readings or giving advice.
Am happy to give more information but i dont know what else to provide, truly.

Elizhabeth: If you are concealed and feigning madness like the Count of Zi, you never might be seen as an object of disire, be in LOVE or in WORK.

So you mean I have to not hide myself? I dont feel that I am...? I feel hurt now, but not ...I dont know. OK maybe I am hiding. I cant exactly shine brightly when I feel hurt. So I guess that makes sense.

When in time of veiling our light we remain excessively exigent with ourselves, we do the same with others, and they perceive the light that we have tried to conceal.

Try to be more tolerant with yourself and with others, You have improved enough, worked enough, suffered enough.
Stop suffering, stop any pressure on yourself, stop fearing. And remain visible.

I dont know that I have any pressure on myself anymore. I dont feel like there is pressure or guidelines or goals or anything. There's a lot of lost hope and a lot of eggs in baskets slowly rotting because nothing is progressing. And I can't keep it from rotting or make it progress. Its like its all way out of my control now.

In the work area, stop asking for jobs. Put your sight on opportunities that might be profitable for you, then look for the way to negotiate for it. Say, have in your mind the goal of profitability, but be conscient that the other part also will look for his own profit, you must have a clear idea of what can you offer that be of value for the other. Dont abandon the project to his luck, make following, go as far as you need.

Hm I have never approached work as a search for profitability before (so this is a strange language to me!!)

Don't believe that the only that matters for getting a job is proficiency, it matters the person, say you.

Even, maybe, love is but another sort of job.

YES. This is how it feels to me: love is another job that I have to apply for. ANd i keep getting rejected or all the positions are full. Or the company is relocating out of the USA and outsourcing. And no more applicants needed. That is my love life (lack thereof). Absolutely. Bingo.

Meanwhile you give us more details about your life, your work, your book, this is what H.36 says in the received text:

明 ming2: clear / bright // to understand /
夷 yi2: a barbarian // wound /
利 li4: benefit / profit / profitable /
艱 jian1: difficult / hard /
貞 zhen1: divination / omen // perseverance / chastity /

1st. version: BRIGHT WOUND. Wounds of love, Narcisistic wounds ... ... are painful but give us wiseness, and the opportunity of understanding another wounded people

PROFITABLE [ALTHOUGH] DIFFICULT OMEN. It will cost, but it will be profitable.

That doesnt sound like love to me? It sounds like a broken heart but making lots of money. Doesnt interest me. I am not sure I understand though, is this about a JOB or this is about a RELATIONSHIP with someone?

2nd. version: UNDERSTANDING BARBARIANS. Negotiating with businessmen. Being comprehensive with people. PROFITABLE HARD OMEN. Hard work of negotiation,
... but fixed in mind the goal of profitability.

That sounds like any average job to me. That I can handle. business men are out for profit and you have to fit into their world. They never mold to fit yours. I have tons of experience with that. Not a big deal. Unless this applies to something other than work/employment. In which case then i have no understanding of what is meant here.

Take care, there is another version: PROFITABLE, HARD CHASTITY. Profitable to promise but not to give? Profitability makes hard to retain chastity?
I don't know, but beware.

Well I have been "chaste" in all areas of my life lately. Nothing happens. I dont have solid ongoing fulltime work, or a relationship. So, let's dissect. IF this means only regarding work, it almost is contradictory -- hard to do without but when it comes (is this causal?) then there will be profit. That cant be that simple. obviously being unemployed is difficult and obviously when work comes money comes and it is profitable. because you have money. So it has to mean more than that.


If this regards relationships, i hear it saying you are waiting and there is chastity (aloneness) involved, but it will be profitable in the end (to wait). That's great, except it doesnt eliminate the painful waiting period or let me know how long it will go on. It could be YEARS more. It could be my whole life.

The comment "profitable to promise, hard to give" makes sense IF the advise is to promise but not jump into anything. I owuld welcome that if it meant there WAS an opportunity to BEGIN something. but right now there isnt.
++

Finally just a few general details. I have part time work that doesnt cover expenses. I signed up for unemployment which also wont meet my expenses. And I am working on two books -- one under contract, final interactions iwth the publisher. The second underway, still researching and will be travelling end of November for that purpose. I dont know if that info helps.

On the love front, it is the story of the man (in another thread) who demonstrated vague interest and now is wavering or disinterested or scared. I dont know which.

And I am still: waiting.
 
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themis

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Well, whatever ensues, I still believe next year should/would/could usher in a wave of change - so to speak. Both on the love and job front. Just be vigilant ... follow the signs. I'd like to add that dating for two years is no guarantee that thereafter the relationship will be of a long-term duration. So ... may I suggest that if you do happen to meet Mr. Potentially Right ... date/go out for a year. Even if you have your first child at around 40 or soon after doesn't really matter. When you're in a harmonious relationship you'll feel a surge of renewed energy :)

There are couples who dated for a weeks before their wedding and the marriage lasted over 10 years. Others dated for periods between 6 months and 3 years and the marriage lasted a year, slightly less or more. It's like the lottery. When you have the chance go for it. Even if it doesn't last many years at least you'll know you tried, made the effort and actually got there.

Hex. 50.3 suggests a situation where you meet with adversity but the 'pheasant's juice is not taken in'.
It's like 23.6 'the ripe fruit is not taken in' you acquire renewed energy/vigour and your enemies (opposition) do not succeed in overthrowing you/thwarting your efforts.

You could consult Hilary's Hexs., Legge (sacred texts) & HeyLise - free online I Ching.
 
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elizabeth

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(Hi Themis) Well I fully agree about the dating situation. If it is harmonious and working I dont know that I would say "no" to anything (child or living together or marriage, out of order). At this point I dont care about protocol but i really care about finding and KEEPING love. As you said, and as i too know, when it happens then all that is just so secondary anyway (i mean timing is secondary, how many weeks or months etc).

I promise to keep you posted. I just can't wait til 2010 ends. Aside from signing my book contract, it was by far one of the top 2 worst years of my life. Only 72 more days to go, thankfully.

(I dont remember what 50.3 is from now... i have to look back. But did you mean consult Hilary's hexes for that purpose?)

OK i checked -- where is 50.3 from? its not in any of my recent threads the past week or two.
 
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themis

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Pls. see your post 'yesterday, 01:42 pm,'. Gene's quoted message re. 50.3

Timing is secondary but ensure the courting period lasts longer than a few weeks before
announcing nuptial day. Remember ... 'Actions speak louder than words'.

This year in particular has been hard on many all over the world. It's not unusual that
bad/tough phases last upto 4 years ... God forbid !
 
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rodaki

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hi Elizabeth

I don't have much to add to the great advice you've gotten already but I came upon something today that made me think of 11.2 and maybe it will be helpful. What I'm referring to is the story of those miners that were trapped underground (36) in Chile and how they had to keep things working (11) till the time they got rescued (I hadn't read much about it but today I watched this video and it made sense). I know that this might sound a bit too far off but maybe there are some analogies to be drawn, especially considering the crucial factors that helped this group of men to persevere in such severe circumstances . .

We could say that you and all the little voices/concerns/issues that make up your inner self are now trapped in darkness, with no clear indications of rescue . . some of them are more positive, some more tired, some frightened etc. According to the guy talking in this clip, a couple of things that will help your inner group through the ordeal is establishing right leadership (which voice will you deem leading and capable to get you out? also related to the sense of mastery discussed earlier) and handling the difficulties by setting limits and schedules (all the things mentioned in the clip about circadian rhythms and such). It seems to me that the most difficult part in your case is that there seems to be no visible end to this period and I feel that it could help you to start creating such visible ends even if they concern only minor aspects . . schedule some gratifying activity in your week, keep those distant relations working even if they don't promise a bright future; do it not in belief they will magically transform into what you're dreaming, but just for the sake of your every day that passes by and needs a small something to make it a little lighter, set short-term goals that are mostly within your control.

Maybe you are already doing these things or they don't sound very uplifting but sometimes this is how it goes, we find ourselves having to trudge along in darkness, it's what we get called to do (and believe me, I know, I've been working on this line for sometime now) . it's what a friend told me once: 'Things are sh**** but I know it never lasts forever; some day, maybe near or further down, we will be bright and shiny again!'

and you know, if people can survive underground for months on end due to good leadership and group cohesion, so can anyone of us! ;)
keep your spirits high, be strong and never doubt the light on the end of the tunnel
 

elizabeth

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Pls. see your post 'yesterday, 01:42 pm,'. Gene's quoted message re. 50.3

Timing is secondary but ensure the courting period lasts longer than a few weeks before
announcing nuptial day. Remember ... 'Actions speak louder than words'.

This year in particular has been hard on many all over the world. It's not unusual that
bad/tough phases last upto 4 years ... God forbid !

Thanks Themis - Ah I see Gene just said "Take a look at 50.3" as an example. But I never drew that Hex. I was just rereading the thread trying to find more clues. So since I did not draw that hex I am not sure it applies to me (???)

Four years -- I can't last that long...

It seems to me that the most difficult part in your case is that there seems to be no visible end to this period and I feel that it could help you to start creating such visible ends even if they concern only minor aspects . . schedule some gratifying activity in your week, keep those distant relations working even if they don't promise a bright future; do it not in belief they will magically transform into what you're dreaming, but just for the sake of your every day that passes by and needs a small something to make it a little lighter, set short-term goals that are mostly within your control.

THank you - this is a good suggestion. Putting it to work is difficult (especially financially), but I"ll try.
 
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gene

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Hi Elizabeth,

I just mentioned 50 line 3 because it seemed appropriate. One must remember, we get a certain line in a reading to answer a specific question, but more importantly, there is an aspect of that line that applies to everyone all the time. In other words these are universal truths.

Not being recognized can apply to relationships too. I do not know anything about you or how you interact, and I don't know your possibilities. I too have been single all my life. It can be hard sometimes. Things happened in my teen years that led me to beliefs about myself that I found later were not true, but I could never convince the subconscious that they were not true. It was not a choice for me. I have no way of knowing your belief system about yourself. I suspect there is an unconscious belief system within you that is holding you back. Whether you can reverse that, I don't know. I wish you the best in this matter. It is tough, but we can still live useful lives even if not in a relationship. With the talents you have, the world needs you. Hopefully that can give you some small satisfaction.

Hope this helps in some way.

Gene
 

elizabeth

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Hi Gene,

Yes it is helpful. Any words, at this point, are helpful (!)

I honestly don't know if I have subconcious beliefs that are sabotaging me. Self esteem has never been my strong point -- i grew up in ballet studios, where no matter how perfect you are, you're never good enough, because the crux of the art is to achieve an ideal that doesn't actually exist. (I was smart enough then to know that Perfection does not, cannot exist. But that doesnt stop the quest!) So the self-hatred (or in my case more like sense of inadequacy) was there from early on, but the passion and determination i had pushed me forward -- and continues to push me forward in other pursuits. I dont know that I "dislike myself" more than any other woman out there though -- we all want the nips and tucks and whatever physical adjustments. I am told I'm very attractive, but that doesnt mean much to me. I know i have some talents but (as we've noted in the thread) they've not been recognized yet or at least not very much.

Most of all I know I have a ton of love in my heart, bc I can feel it there, and I want to give it, and with each passing day (or now, each year) I increasingly believe there will be no one to give it to. I dont understand this waiting period. I really dont. I do not see the overall beneficial purpose, if any, that it is serving me. I understood it, after my first tough breakup 8 yrs ago. At that time I *needed* to be alone. And I was -- i took the time to heal, it took at least 2 years. I didn't have any relationships on purpose (altho there were offers) bc I needed that space to "come to." And it was necessary and I"m glad that happened.

But now? Now, I do not need to be alone, and I dont want to be alone. But alone I continue to be. SOrry to sound so repetitive. I just dont undertand.
 

themis

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Elizabeth one doesn't understand why one is alone for several consecutive years but there's always
a reason. Trust that what is due to you will be yours at the appropriate time. 'Everything comes
gradually and at its appointed hour'. Just wanted to add this, Gene will surely get back to you :)
 

gene

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Hi, Yeah, I am back, although I have no clue what to say. Life isn't always easy. I'm a member of the "you'll see it when you believe it club", but I also understand how hard it can be to truly have a belief that filters down into the subconscious.

Elizabeth, do you by any chance have a birthday around 5 degrees of Aries, Cancer, Libra, or Capricorn? If so the last lunar eclipse would be affecting you heavily right now as it is me. I am 7 degrees Aries, and until saturn passed through 7 degrees Libra, I was really strongly feeling the effects of the eclipse, as it was creating a grand cross in the sky. A grand cross can signify a soul that is in some way being mentally or emotionally crucified in their life. In my case it still hasn't let up, as I was getting excited about proceeds from my new book coming out, then I find out it takes sixty days after the first day of the next month to get any royalties. I also had glitches which delayed the publishing and it stilli isn't done yet. However, about the first of the year I expect things to start improving. Anyway, they will for you too. I know that sounds like polyanna pie in the sky philosophy, but they really will. Sometimes we have to go through things and we don't know why. I do believe there is a solution. It is understanding that we are one with all that is, that the universe has a consicousness, and we are part of that consciousness. Our subconscious is in contact with that concsiouness all the time. Therefore, all things that happen have a positive conclusion, if we accede to that power. The doing it is difficult though. The world is too much with us. And we have stuffed our minds with so much belief that the world out there is outside of our control.

I don't know what to say Elizabeth. I just wish the best for you. I think better times are coming.

Gene
 

gene

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Elizabeth

One thing I might add. Stop telling yourself there will be no one to give it to. That just tells the subconscious there is no one to give it to. Will that be a cure all? I don't know, but think of this. I know it isn't what you want in the way you want it, but you have the whole world to give your love to. You give your love everytime you perform your dance. You give your love everytime you do something that helps society. Do they return it? Who cares? The universe always returns, sooner or later, that which we give to others. You give your love everytime you strive for greater perfection in your work. I know, that is not romantic love, but hang in there. Your love shows through. Your true colors.

Gene
 

elizabeth

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hi Gene,
Elizabeth, do you by any chance have a birthday around 5 degrees of Aries, Cancer, Libra, or Capricorn? If so the last lunar eclipse would be affecting you heavily right now as it is me. I am 7 degrees Aries, and until saturn passed through 7 degrees Libra, I was really strongly feeling the effects of the eclipse, as it was creating a grand cross in the sky.
I was born Feb. 11 so I think not, altho I have Cancer rising I believe. (?) So this would mean I'm in Aquarius and not one of those signs unless I'm mistaken (??) I do have Saturn in the 12th though, which is basically the same as tying a steel boulder to your back and then saying "go forth!"

Elizabeth
One thing I might add. Stop telling yourself there will be no one to give it to. That just tells the subconscious there is no one to give it to. Will that be a cure all? I don't know, but think of this. I know it isn't what you want in the way you want it, but you have the whole world to give your love to. You give your love everytime you perform your dance. You give your love everytime you do something that helps society. Do they return it? Who cares? The universe always returns, sooner or later, that which we give to others. You give your love everytime you strive for greater perfection in your work. I know, that is not romantic love, but hang in there. Your love shows through. Your true colors.
Gene

You have a good point. In quiet moments alone ALL I DO IS HOPE. He is going to call, he is going to ask me out, we're going to go to the symphony. But then: there is no call or email and I say "you have to forget about him". So I am not even sure what the overall mental approach is that I'm supposed to take now - it seems to go up and down (with a constant underlayer of disappointment).
 

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Elizabeth, sorry to keep harping on ... If he doesn't come through re. the Symphony or ever in that
respect then it just means it wasn't meant to be. There'll surely be someone else deserving of
your love and affection.
 

charly

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... Am happy to give more information but i dont know what else to provide, truly.
I don't know if in another thread, but why don't you tell us more about your story, your work and your books?

... OK maybe I am hiding. I cant exactly shine brightly when I feel hurt. So I guess that makes sense...

You are, please, don't feel hurt. It's not a matter of being bright but of being visible.

...
I dont know that I have any pressure on myself anymore. I dont feel like there is pressure or guidelines or goals or anything. There's a lot of lost hope and a lot of eggs in baskets slowly rotting because nothing is progressing. And I can't keep it from rotting or make it progress. Its like its all way out of my control now....

I believe that you are excessively self exigent, maybe I'm wrong.

...
Hm I have never approached work as a search for profitability before (so this is a strange language to me!!)...

Why not profitability? Is it bad? Business are business. Dont you imagine any business in what you could earn money? May be you need a new approach.

...
YES. This is how it feels to me: love is another job that I have to apply for. ANd i keep getting rejected or all the positions are full. Or the company is relocating out of the USA and outsourcing. And no more applicants needed. That is my love life (lack thereof). Absolutely. Bingo...
Dont be cruel with yourself. Who is speaking by your mouth?

I don't advice you to filling forms. Look for whay can be convenient for you, then go and take it. No so simple, of course. But the idea is not asking for a job, neither waiting for love. If you have a target that's really good, you have to get it. Don't ask, negotiate.

I'm this an this. I can do that and that. It would be profitable for you because this and this. It would cost you ... Did you agree? How can I better my ofer? coukld you better you offer? Say, in negotiation there is interchange of benefits. Don't forget your benefit.

...
That doesnt sound like love to me? It sounds like a broken heart but making lots of money. Doesnt interest me. I am not sure I understand though, is this about a JOB or this is about a RELATIONSHIP with someone? ...

I don't know. Althoug LOVE is a hard work. If there is no profit, there is no good love. In work, if you don't get the money anybody else will do.

...
That sounds like any average job to me. That I can handle. business men are out for profit and you have to fit into their world. They never mold to fit yours. I have tons of experience with that. Not a big deal. Unless this applies to something other than work/employment. In which case then i have no understanding of what is meant here.
...

Don't offer you as a prey. You don't need a boss. You need a partner.

... Well I have been "chaste" in all areas of my life lately. ... obviously when work comes money comes and it is profitable. because you have money. So it has to mean more than that....

Nobody's perfect.

... If this regards relationships, i hear it saying you are waiting and there is chastity (aloneness) involved, but it will be profitable in the end (to wait). That's great, except it doesnt eliminate the painful waiting period or let me know how long it will go on. It could be YEARS more. It could be my whole life....

Suffering don't go to shorten the time. Maybe the opposite. Then, don't wait, use your time for another things.


...
The comment "profitable to promise, hard to give" makes sense IF the advise is to promise but not jump into anything. I owuld welcome that if it meant there WAS an opportunity to BEGIN something. but right now there isnt....

If nothing is happening, then you had to begin something.

... Finally just a few general details. I have part time work that doesnt cover expenses. I signed up for unemployment which also wont meet my expenses. And I am working on two books ... I dont know if that info helps ...

I believe that you need money urgently, then you need a job. But you have to apply new recipes. What does or have people that get the jobs you wanted? Do you know some of them? Do you know some of the people that look for the same kind of jobs? Don't you need a partner in your work?

Might you tell us something more about your book? Why do you write it? what is your message?

... On the love front, it is the story of the man (in another thread) who demonstrated vague interest and now is wavering or disinterested or scared. I dont know which. And I am still: waiting.

... Stop waiting, if this man is for you he will appear by his own, if not, he was not for you. Not the sort of man that you need, maybe the better that you can do is to discard him.

Of course, these are personal advices, can be wrong. Nothing that the Changes say.



ABOUT THE CHANGES:

11.2 is hard to understand.

H.11 GREATNESS

tai4: great / grand // quiet / calm / peace // ease /

xiao3: small / little / few /
wang3: to go in a direction / towards /
da4: big / great /
lai2: to come /

ji2: lucky /
heng1: prosperous /


GREATNESS
Or Peaceful.

LITTLE GOES, GREAT COMES.
Time of stingyness or sadness passes,
times of joy arrives.
Now comes the good!

LUCKY FEAST.
Fortunate celebration.

11.3:

bao1: to cover / to wrap / to hold / to protect /
huang1: out of practice / uncultivated /

yong4: to use / to apply /
ping2: gallop /
he2: river /

bu4: not / no /
xia2: abandon / distant /
yi2: to lose / to leave behind /

peng2: friend /
wang2: to die / to perish /

de2: obtain / get / gain /
shang4 : honor / to value / to esteem /
yu2: at / to /
zhong1 : middle / center /
xing2: to go / to move / to walk // xing4: conduct / behavior // hang2: business / prefession /

PROTECT THE OUT-OF-PRACTICE
Who lacks of practice need tolerance for trying.
Who, if not we, for giving it?

DO GALLOP THE RIVER!
Just do it. (1)
... It will cost.

DON'T ABANDON OR NEGLECT
Don't loose.

FRIENDS DISAPPEAR.
Even friends would dissappear...

GET HONOR IN [THE] MIDDLE [OF] ACTION
[or BEHAVIOR, or BUSINESS / PROFESSION]
... but reputation gotten by our merit shall remain.


Very good, I believe. don't you agree?

all the best,


Charly
________________
(1) Exhortation for galloping the river sounds strange. It could mean HURRY TO CROSS THE RIVER. But I associate it with competitions for getting mate (wife / huband) used by ethnic minorities in China.

The character ping2 is a coompound of ICE and HORSE. Maybe if the river is covered with ice it's possible to cross by galloping. (Wu Jing Nuan)

Also the time of marriage was the time of HOARFROST, when the spring had passed and the bride had evidence of pregnancy. Maybe an omen of marriage.

Another possibility is that it mean "MOVE THE BOTTOM" with the associated meaning of to pay the costs. In spanish it's said "THOSE WHO WANT TO EAT FISH THAT WET THE ARSE".

Ch.
 
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elizabeth

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I don't know if in another thread, but why don't you tell us more about your story, your work and your books?

My book is about the training system in a certain art form (I dont want to say what it is, because when it is published people can then find my identity here). For this art form people study many years and it is a very selective few who can become professionals. What I wrote about was how the system of training was founded and developed, and then how it is faring today, since other external influences are affecting the technique and the demands on the artists, and people themsleves have evolved now too. It began actually as an article I really wanted to write to address criticism of hte art form lately, that it has been "dying" or is not what it once was. I disagree with that point of view so I wanted to prove it. I spoke to many elders in the art form and interviewed them. When i was done i had too much for an article but too little for a book. Everything fell into place from there: a friend suggested I do more research (done). The first publisher recommended to me (by chance) accepted the manuscript and gave me a contract. Nothing in my life has EVER happened so easily. I truly belive the book wrote itself. I was just the conduit. Nothing more, nothing less.

My work now is doing written translations from languages into English, finishing the deatils of the book (copyedits, page proofs etc) and also researching a second book that is still in its infancy. What i WANT To do for my life is write more of these books. BUt it costs a lot of money to do it bc no one pays me to write it, the contract doesnt cover expenses and doesnt reimburse you for the time you work. So i will neer earn a living doing this. So it is important for me to find a job doing something else that isnt full time and allows me a flexible schedule. This is VERY HARD to find because most business people who want help, they want it on their terms: you have to sit in our office and you cannot be gone more than 1 hour at lunchtime and if you leave early we think you're not serious about the job etc etc. Its VERY hard to find flexibility, and that is crucial to me.

You are, please, don't feel hurt. It's not a matter of being bright but of being visible.

In truth< I have never been visible.

I believe that you are excessively self exigent, maybe I'm wrong.
I would not say "excessively." Yes i'm demanding of myself. I have very high standards. But only because I have to be. Otherwise nothing happesn in my life. Other people work 1/4 of what I work and they get 10 times the rewards. I work 10 times as hard and get 1/4 of the rewards. My life has always been that way. I am used to it. So i dont have another way out.


Why not profitability? Is it bad? Business are business. Dont you imagine any business in what you could earn money? May be you need a new approach.
Bad or good, right now it is NECESSARY (!) However, i'm just not good at it. I've never been *good* at being profitable, bc i'm not good at being powerful and negotiating...

Dont be cruel with yourself. Who is speaking by your mouth?
Probably years of my mother. And soem self belief. But I feel the world is being cruel so I have to be even more cruel to myself... then if I am strict with myself maybe finally I will achieve my dreams, with hard work and effort, maybe what I want will finally come to me.

I don't advice you to filling forms. Look for whay can be convenient for you, then go and take it. No so simple, of course. But the idea is not asking for a job, neither waiting for love. If you have a target that's really good, you have to get it. Don't ask, negotiate.

THat is VERY HARD TO DO!!

I'm this an this. I can do that and that. It would be profitable for you because this and this. It would cost you ... Did you agree? How can I better my ofer? coukld you better you offer? Say, in negotiation there is interchange of benefits. Don't forget your benefit.

OK I see your point of view. Today I had a phone interview for a position. It is contract (remote work) which is ideal. But they want it to be full time later (in the office). I dont want to be in the office. I need to be able to work from home so that I have time for the book (not 2 hours of commute, not nonsense meetings, etc). So I will try with them, if they give me contract work, to later stay *on contract*. It means i wont have benefits (medical/pension) but i will have freedom and that is more important to me. (I cannot have all of it).

I don't know. Althoug LOVE is a hard work. If there is no profit, there is no good love. In work, if you don't get the money anybody else will.
(You have to have a person to have love... so...there's no person here yet...)

Don't offer you as a prey. You don't need a boss. You need a partner.
YES! I dont need a boss. That is VERY TRUE. I need a partner and one who supports me. At work and in my personal life. I *dream* of partners.

Suffering don't go to shorten the time. Maybe the opposite. Then, don't wait, use your time for another things.

Wow. I Have to .. I am writing that on my wall as a reminder. You're right. Suffering doenst shorten the time. But it is hard to not FEEL suffering. I dont know how to stop feeling that way. ??

If nothing is happening, then you had to begin something.
I started my own web site two weeks ago for freelance translation work. And I sent out resumes... and no freelance work, but i got the phonecall about the job for today which was not from any of the effort I put out. It was from a friend who just started work at the company and they needed a copywriter...


I believe that you need money urgently, then you need a job. But you have to apply new recipes. What does or have people that get the jobs you wanted? Do you know some of them? Do you know some of the people that look for the same kind of jobs? Don't you need a partner in your work?
I dont know anyone looking for the same type of jobs as me...but i do need a partner...
.. Stop waiting, if this man is for you he will appear by his own, if not, he was not for you. Not the sort of man that you need, maybe the better that you can do is to discard him.

Of course, these are personal advices, can be wrong. Nothing that the Changes say.

No , I really appreciate the advice! I Need any and all help I can get now. Truly. I have never felt as poorly in my life before as I do now. I know they say it is darkest before the dawn but this is ridiculous.

PROTECT THE OUT-OF-PRACTICE
Who lacks of practice need tolerance for trying.
Who, if not we, for giving it?

But...what am I out of practice *doing*? What dont i have practice in?

DO GALLOP THE RIVER!
Just do it. (1)
... It will cost.

Which river? What is the river? Job? relationship? Sorrow?

DON'T ABANDON OR NEGLECT
Don't lose.

Dont abandon who or what? And dont lose who or what?

FRIENDS DISAPPEAR.
Even friends would dissappear...
GET HONOR IN [THE] MIDDLE [OF] ACTION
[or BEHAVIOR, or BUSINESS / PROFESSION]
... but reputation gotten by our merit shall remain.
[/CENTER]
(Elizabeth comment: get honor in business and your good reputation will remain?)

Very good, I believe. don't you agree?

all the best,

Charly

I suppose it is good but those final lines (You listed 11.3 but i think you meant 11.2? ) i do not understand> I dont understand what the Yi is saying to me there...

Thanks Charly. :hug:

________________
(1) Exhortation for galloping the river sounds strange. It could mean HURRY TO CROSS THE RIVER. But I associate it with competitions for getting mate (wife / huband) used by ethnic minorities in China.

Oh wait, just reading this part now. OK...so you think it means I am competing to get /find a mate?

"The character ping2 is a compound of ICE and HORSE. Maybe if the river is covered with ice it's possible to cross by galloping."

So to go quickly over something? Over what? I wonder what the "river" here is?

Also the time of marriage was the time of HOARFROST, when the spring had passed and the bride had evidence of pregnancy. Maybe an omen of marriage.
Is hoarfrost when the rivers are frozen? Does this mean...race to marriage? That cannot be advice bc i dont have anyone in my life now??

Another possibility is that it mean "MOVE THE BOTTOM" with the associated meaning of to pay the costs. In spanish it's said "THOSE WHO WANT TO EAT FISH THAT WET THE ARSE".

Hm, not sure how it applies...
 

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I always thought I needed friends but in reality as soon as we realize we have spiritual friends and would do better not to expect much from other people, that's when our true friends show up.

Also they say: To have love, become lovely. A little difficult, being lovely and frustrated simultaneouslt ...
 

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Your self-talk has a negative tone to it. Be aware that thoughts are things and easily turn into self-fulfilling prophesies.

For example, when you misplace something, do you say to yourself, "I'll never find it now ... Or do you say: "I know I'll find it within 5 minutes."

Learning how to apply affirmations as a daily practice might be of some assistance to you.
 

elizabeth

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hi Ginnie,
Thanks for the tips. I do try to repeat the self affirming thoughts mentally to myself:
"I am poised, harmonious, irresistable and magnetic."
But I am being honest when I write here that i dont FEEL that way all the time. I dont know how that could be possible... Especially not now. I can keep that up for only so long until reality really grates on me and i am disappointed and discouraged (as now).

I had a coffee date with someone else on Thursday. He just wrote to ask me to dinner next week. I mention it only to say that luckily how I feel on the inside is *not* being projected outwards.
I am not sure about him as a longtime mate -- there's a lot of things important to me that he doesn't have, but i liked him and will go and see. (If nothing else it gets my mind off of being rejected from Guy #1).
 

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