12.3.4.6>39.. always limping

[wind]

After a series of frustrating events, including two sick kids to top this mess, I didn't need more crap from my X. In fact, I wish he'd just move on and quit punishing the kids and I for what he's done. Anyhow, the last bout of insanity is just over the top and without details other than his rationale is all over the place, I asked the Yi, "What does he want from me?"

I received 12.3.4.6> 39

Seems there is a bunch of limping happening around me. Many recent readings have featured 39. I get the sense that in 12, his logic and cognitive thinking is obstructed and he is perhaps asking for too much advise from outside sources or being given too many suggestions and acting upon pieces of it in an effort to come off as clear. I think he is exhausted from his charades and is reaching a point of painful meltdown... limping.

Any thoughts or corrections to this interpretation? My thoughts on the lines really does not answer the initial question I asked. However, it does make some sense to me with the erratic statements and behavior.

 

[wind]

Hate to be irritating, but please, someone give their view of the resulting hexes.:bows:

 

[goddessliss]

Hate to be irritating, but please, someone give their view of the resulting hexes.:bows:

First of all wind, you cannot demand that others interpret or respond to your readings on this site and second of all stopping blaming him, no matter what relationship your in there is 100% responsibility on either side whether it works or not.

The first thing I did when this happened to me was to get some counselling/healing asking what was my responsibility in the breakdown of my marriage - however that doesn't take away what he did or didn't do it just meant that I knew somewhere along the line I was also at fault and focusing on your own healing takes away your focus on him and his actions.

This action lead to amazing spiritual and personal growth for me which Line 4 is suggesting for you this then will clear your obstructions Line 6.

Limping of course you get all the time - you've got a broken heart. - Liss

 

[blue_angel]

I agree with Liss on this. The Yi may be pointing back towards you in its answer. This is quite common. The lines to me seem to say "hey, this is where you are, but if you follow this advice it will all be okay" I personally didn't answer before because I didn't want to offend or hurt your feelings. I understand you're hurting now. As Liss said, work on yourself and where your faults were. It helped me when my marriage ended as well.

 

[wind]

Thank you ladies. I didn't mean to come off as demanding. I just really took the extra time to look up the hexes and moving lines, that I was excited that I may have actually understood them this time. Again, I was wrong.

I am in therapy Liss. As are the kids. We have all been doing really well, including him. I have finally got him to go full circle and guided him how to connect with the kids. He asked me... I want him and the kids to have the best relationship they can. I was shocked he came to me and admitted the relationship was lacking. Honestly, I am glad that is coming around. He needs it and the kids need it from him.

I know where the relationship went wrong. Clearly. I know what I have done as well as he knows. I have healed greatly and been exploring spirituality in a greater depth. It has been amazing and while I know there is more healing to go, we all have come a long way.

I am not pointing fingers as him, but I can not express the depth of mental health issues his entire family suffers. I personally have dealt with his family members for family counseling while they were being treated as in-patients. When I see several signs/ attributes witnessed in his family members, directed at myself, I have much reason for concern. I would not want to see him suffer as they have, if there is any manifestation of these genetically passed illnesses.

Ordinarily, I would let his explosions roll off and walk away, rather than engage on any level. This outburst in question shook me to the core. It seemed like he was asking for help while lashing out at me. And since this post, he has come to me with some problems... some of which were apparent to me in the original post.

Perhaps I am the one limping as well. I make great strides to walk my path and avoid contact with him. When uproars like this take place within the house the children and I reside in (the marital home), I do not have the luxury of dismissing it.

I will take the advise of you both and hold to my path I am on. I thank you both for the insight.

 

[meng]

"What does he want from me?"

I received 12.3.4.6> 39

Pardon if I sound like nonsense during a midnight ramble, but just maybe this is useful.

The first thing I establish in my head is that there is an essential question to ask: Do Yi's words pertain to me or to someone or something else, such as my reason for asking the question in the first place. It isn't just the present and future Yi has access to; it knows our past too; It knows who we are. Sometimes I can't tell to what it's speaking, because the intelligence isn't directed by my conscious will, so assuming literally drives me off the map; and intuition is often the brain doing its job behind and/or ahead of the scenes. Now that I'm a crotchety old bastard, I come to myself more than going outward. When I talk with the intelligence, which comes through the Yi oracle, I listen more than talk, but my mind is searching, searching like a hungry tiger: going and coming and going. Not returning would be unfortunate.

What I'd focus on in your reading, is the coming and going, and all the lines in your reading point to the reward of coming, and the pitfalls of going. Throw 39 in there and there's an impassible situation. Now the question is, what do I do about it? 39 is like a fallen tree across a stream. The flowing water (energy) can not move through the obstacles, and so it turns back upon itself, it forms a pool, it... deepens itself. Fish flow into it and a small ecosystem develops around it, until eventually the water rises high enough to go around, through and over the obstruction; and the fish will likely spend much time in the depths, created from the event.

Coming is the accumulation of this energy, and that's actually often a good and necessary thing. Going out there or toward out there, to fix something or to push forward and through an object, is three times discouraged in three lines. It's a waste of energy -------- unless you can control it, transfer energy to where it is most needed, according to requirement of the time. But first you must accumulate.

 

[wind]

Meng, I wish I could pound the "Thanks" button a million times for your response. It makes perfect sense to me when applied to the situation overall.

It's funny that you used the analogy of a tree stopping the flow of water and the need for accumulation. Often times, in my head, I feel that the entire situation is much like trying to fix a broken dam with a band-aid. It's not so much that the dam has broken, it's the energy pooling before it.

I truly wish to not get involved and have avoided as much contact as possible. He has come to me and asked for help with his relationship with the kids. I gave him the best suggestions I could to point him towards what he needs to know, but I also let him know that it's not an easy solution. It will require an investment of his time and energy to truly connect with the children. I have encouraged the children to be more receptive and that they will never have another Dad other than him. I have told him he should even join them in therapy.

From there, I have removed myself from what needs to grow between. I am plenty happy with standing on the sidelines and watching them thrive and make the bonds that were never there before. I have my own choices and decision that need to be made and I am finding great pleasure in seeing myself emerge like a butterfly coming out of its cocoon.

Since the original post, he had spoken privately with me when coming to see the kids. He had told me that he is having a great difficulty dealing with his guilt of all that he has done to me and the kids. He also told me that the inability to get past the guilt is what has kept him from coming back and working things out. I admitted to some of the things I felt guilty for and told him everyone has something that they could have done or behaved differently with that would have spared a lot of feelings in a relationship. I encouraged him to go get professional help. Guilt can consume one's soul.

Does it mean that there will be a happily ever after here? Will I really be ready to take him back? Will we even get to that point? Honestly, I don't think so. Not at the present time and perhaps maybe not ever. Change has to take place on both behalves and I wouldn't consider nothing until that point is reached and I would have to reevaluate everything.

However, I am not counting on that time coming. I will wait for the depths of energy to pool before the obstruction that allows for it to gather.

Thank you once again.