12.3.6 to 31 experience

[ariandame]

This is a reading I have done yesterday asking what can i expect from him today? 12.3.6 to 31
31 as resulting hex generally played out nice for me in the past, so if anything, I expected some difficulties (12) with a decent outcome .

Couldnt have been more wrong.
standstill, being blocked (12) & influence (31) together proved to be a baaad kind of Influence.
I felt shut out, angry and neglected - and all these because of his actions (or rather non-actions, really). He didnt care about my trying to make a conversation, gave a few superficial answers in the beginning, but after a while he just simply and deliberately ignored me and my questions, although we are supposed to work together and the pressure is big to deliver the results. By nature I am not a pushy person, so I didnt push, was only stewing on the inside so much that by the time I got home it evolved into one of the worst breakdowns I have had lately.

So, interestingly,the experience was all 12.3 ("He conceals his shame."): I felt humiliated, sad and disgraced by being blocked (=his influence on me), but I concealed it and did not share it with him.
I am not sure where line 6 comes into the picture though ("Overturning obstruction: first there is obstruction, afterward joy"), because I can assure everyone, there was no joy in this experience whatsoever.

Anyway, I thought I'd share this, in case anyone can benefit from it later... :bows:

 

[Trojina]

Thanks for this but it may get seen a lot more if you post it on this thread http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...st-post-your-favourite-or-encouraging-results which is designed for the very purpose of showing people's moments of insight. I am afraid your post may get a bit lost here although it will still be in the archives of course.

 

[Trojina]

I never have understood 12.3....or whose shame it was meant to be. It has been suggested, Hilary I think, that shame holds one back from expressing what one needs.

you said ;

I felt humiliated, sad and disgraced by being blocked (=his influence on me), but I concealed it and did not share it with him.

well that sounds like 12.3. Perhaps if you had spoken out you may have reached 12.6 ?

Remember too 31 is not the result but the backdrop to the question. Anyway in future dealings I advise you speak of how you feel to get to 12.6. 12,6 won't happen if you stay stuck in 12.3

Also look at change patterns here , 52 yang so you go into this in a non reactive way but the way through is yin pattern of 58. You need to communicate more with him though I understand why you wouldn't want to. I think you need to say how you feel and not be ashamed of how you feel. If he hurt you, tell him.

Thanks this helps me understand 12.3 better

 

[ariandame]

Thank you for the link to the Aha thread - useful info, I will keep it in mind.

Remember too 31 is not the result but the backdrop to the question. Anyway in future dealings I advise you speak of how you feel to get to 12.6. 12,6 won't happen if you stay stuck in 12.3
Also look at change patterns here , 52 yang so you go into this in a non reactive way but the way through is yin pattern of 58.

Hmm, I havent looked at my readings from this perspective so far. I guess, I just - naively - assumed that if i get a reading for a question, it is going to materialize some way - chronologically line by line or all changing lines in the same situation - without any condition, and my task is to make the best of them.
What you say about the necessity of my correct handling of a situation to actually get to (or not get to) the next line of the hex makes a lot of sense, thanks for pointing that out.

You need to communicate more with him though I understand why you wouldn't want to. I think you need to say how you feel and not be ashamed of how you feel. If he hurt you, tell him.

Most probably you are right. I got the very same advise from a friend of mine during the weekend.
Truth is, I have had this problem with him a few times now, and I've tried to make him see how offending this behaviour is (one would think, this should be obvious to anyone, but apparently its not... ). I guess i just flew off the handle that it happened again, despite all our previous agreements, and I didnt believe I could communicate my problem to him in an educated manner. Maybe this anger was also part of the "shame" I was concealing...

Again, thanks for your insights Trojina :bows: