13.4>37 Helping a friend

[spiralcloud]

Om Om everyone,

My ex is suffering from serious mental health problems, which were unknown to everyone (including me) until I inadvertently brought them to light after a discussion we had. As I am still very close to him - until this we were best friends, I asked the IChing how could I help him through this and got 13.4>37

Is it saying that he needs time to figure it out on his own? Legge uses the word contemplate and also mentions subject is weakened and afraid. The dividing walls also do not seem like a good sign of being on his side... Or is it simply saying that I will have to protect myself within walls in order to help him?

But then to confuse me further we have 37 The perseverance of the woman furthers. The tie that hold the family together lies in the loyalty and perseverance of the wife.

I always stood by his side in all episodes that I now recognise as being related to his illness. Do I just wait again and be here for him?

I would appreciate if you could shed some light at this.

Om Om

:bows:

Tatiana

 

[bradford]

In 13.4, atop that wall is the wrong place to be. The problem the line wrestles with is about coming to that understanding, finally coming down, and embracing those who care. Let him know you will be there when he needs you.

 

[spiralcloud]

Thank you Bradford, that was what my gut instinct was telling me - I should learn how to trust myself . I emailed him, and will post an update soon.

 

[spiralcloud]

I still have not heard back from him and actually heard from a common friend he is blaming me for his situation... He is still in denial about his problems

I will post if anything changes.

Om Om

 

[bradford]

You've put it out there, that's all you can do.
You can't drag him down off that wall.

 

[spiralcloud]

That is so true Bradford...

Today I heard from from him what I had heard from our friend, that I am responsible for everything that is wrong in his life at the moment... Not taking ownership of his own actions and blaming me for having turned on the lights of reality. It is really sad...

But as you said I cannot drag him down off the wall, I have done my best and I will be there for him if he ever needs me.

And I will pray...

Thanks once again.
:bows:

Om Om