14>46

[stellar]

After 12 months of trying to make a failing relationship work (we love each other but keep getting into conflict, partly because we are so different, and partly because external events have seemed to conspire against us), we had, yet another row. Anyway, I asked the I Ching what would happen if I just let go? To explain, we've tried to part on several occasions but keep being drawn to each other... anyway, the reading was 14.1.4.6>46. I have always felt that I had possession in great measure in our relationship. Will he come back to me? or should I just let go and move on?

 

[pink_mandolin]

Supreme success & pushing upward through any obsticals.

14.1.4.6 > 46

Hi, nice to meet you! I thought I'd share what I'm seeing in your reading

I read this as : Supreme success & pushing upward through any obsticals

I think the Yi is showing a birdseye or overview of your relationship and confirming whats good in it and its showing you how to move forward within your relationship rather than a black and white- stay or leave scenario

Hexagram 14 to me seems to have a very natural flow, it flows nicely down the lines (1, 4, 6) and then ends in or morphs into 46 which is pushing upward. So we have a good relationship with a good flow- growing/ flowing along nicely then we have pushing upward that says That you encounter no problems! So by by letting go! You will flow more easily through the relationship!

I think this reading is showing you that these problems you've been experiencing can be learned from and avoided or at least dealt with better in the future! This will create more peace in your relationship (or future relationships, whatever you decide!)

(hexagram 46)

The pushing upward of the good elements encounters no obstruction and is therefore accompanied by great success. The pushing upward is made possible not by violence but by modesty and adaptability.

I think you have to start being modest and learning to adapt to these problems rather than throwing in the towel! Or getting angry/hurt feeling "picked on" etc.

My initial feeling with this is that perhaps your trying too hard in this relationship which is creating your struggles- you need to "go with the flow" as the expression says! In my opinion I think you need to "let go" in the sense of relaxing! Rather than abandoning the relationship. You have possession in great measure with this relationship as you say! Each line to me says how to flow through this relationship to achieve your happiness in it & avoid too much serious conflict. But also conflict in relationships can actually be a good thing! If you stick at it, it often deepens your relationship! Not only with the other but with yourself! Everyone brings baggage into relationships and the conflicts can serve to release the baggage and grow closer to what we want to achieve in our relationship!

Hexagram 14 Line 1 (wilhelm translation) you don't want a relationship with what is harmful, thats natural in any relationship to want to avoid pain or diffculties but it just advises you to be concious of the difficulties- don't ignore them but don't blow them out of proportion by jumping on the band wagon and starting conflict- as that leads from little niggles to big problems/rows! by doing this you'll start to sail a little more smoothly togther! So this line is telling you to observe troubles and try and nip them in the bud before they turn into something more serious- be aware of potential problems rather than walking blindly into them- sometimes easier said than done but with practice its a good skill you could learn!

I think you have a chance to learn now from your previous mistakes and bring these skills into your relationship if you wanted to do that- see what you think!

Line 4-- (wilhelm) This line says two things to me- avoid consorting with others who might influence your relationship negatively- naysayers! Stay loyal to your partener and seperate yourself from any outside influences that sway you, take the middle or balanced path and follow what you believe is the right thing to do! (lise) Don't sound your drum to me says don't shout out loud or brag about the difficulties your relationship is going through- I mean yes ask for help/guidance, but don't use it to create envy or bring unwanted attention into your relationship. That way you remain free of mistakes. I also think this line is the HEART of your relationships problem- and what you have described above is the naysayers! To stop letting outside influences effect the heart of this relationship! Like your own heart! Protect it as something valuable and cherished!

line 6-- I like this line. I think this relationship has the power to overcome these obsticals if you are willing to persevere and work through any difficulties. ""He who walks in truth and is devoted in his thinking, and furthermore reveres the worthy, is
blessed by heaven."" or if you stay devoted and stay positive the relationship will
bring its rewards.

My Conclusion: I think the yi is saying that you could perservere and push through the trouble in the relationship. You could ask what the obstictals are between you and work around them. So I think the Yi is not telling you what to do its giving advice that you could actually stick at the relationship! and you will attain success with perseverence if you wanted too!

Hope this is helpful!

Ps. In my opinion I think patience would be a good thing for you to master in this relationship! This would help you achieve success and what you want!! By patience I mean by learning to persevere, hold back when nessiary to avoid serious conflict and learn to be more diplomatic and think of not only whats best for you or the other but for the relationship itself! Thats all I can really think of

 

[pink_mandolin]

Ps. you might want to ask what your next step in this relationship is- thats always a good question to ask! Rather than worrying about whether he'll come back or not! I think its more important to empower yourself by seeing what things you could do to improve or move past any obsticals! Rather than worrying about the future! & of course depending on what you decide to do!! To stay or leave!

Kindest regards!!

 

[pink_mandolin]

Your question!

i just realised I misread your question!!! Sorry about this!! I was so excited about having a go at answering your question!! I saw the Question about you wanting to know if you should let go or move on!!!! BUT you actually asked-

I asked the I Ching what would happen if I just let go?

Everytime I look at your hexagram I'm getting what I said above, thats definetly what its saying to me! Success and pushing upward

I think if you just let go that you will make good progress. Now whether thats good progress as in letting go of the relationship or good progress as in to letting go and relaxing- flowing through the changes in the relationship. I'm not too clear.

Perhaps you could ask the I-ching to clarify which would be the best course for you- to flow with it or let it go completely and move on.

Hmm see what others think maybe some of the more experienced readers might give a better interpretation!

 

[pink_mandolin]

Some more thoughts...

The good aspect of your relationship- the one you described as "possession in great measure" - I think the Yi agrees with you on this score, its definetly there! Also from the reading it looks like the good aspect of your relationship is not encountering any problems with regard to maturing- like your love feelings for each other things have grown in that sense- like love. So if you let go of the relationship itself you'd be letting the good go because of the difficulties- (trying to put myself in your shoes ) Thats quite a tough decision-

I'd be asking myself how much this relationship is worth to me, is it worth letting go of? Some deep thought is needed I think- and these answers maybe not even the yi can tell you what to do- some soul searching is needed I think.

If you let go.... hmm maybe its saying that when you let go of your control over the relationships progress that it will naturally push upward itself. If you always seem to come back togther perhaps the yi is saying that if you let go your relationship will naturally (with the momentum/energy already invested/built up) continue anyway?

At the end of the day your the best judge on the course of action which is best for you What did you think your own reading meant? I suggest having a look at the lines etc. sometimes our own instincts and ideas are the best to follow no matter what other people advise us!

 

[pink_mandolin]

You could walk away- let go

Stellar, everytime I look at your reading I see something else, I go away and then keep coming back to it!!

This hex could also be saying you could successfully walk away from this relationship and from the lines you'd not be at fault for doing so. It would take a little effort and will power but you could do it. So thats also something to think about! by walking away you will avoiding your relationship with what is harmful, you'd be walking through avoiding conflict- it advised not to get into conflicts if you do walk away- to avoid being influenced once you've made your decision and you'd attain success if you believe walking away is your best option!! I think you'd be able to move on successfully!

So maybe this reading is just opening doors up for you to explore!

Thats all I have for now, I must log off and do some housework!!!!!!! my dust bunnies are starting grow fangs & scare the dog!!!

 

[Trojina]

After 12 months of trying to make a failing relationship work (we love each other but keep getting into conflict, partly because we are so different, and partly because external events have seemed to conspire against us), we had, yet another row. Anyway, I asked the I Ching what would happen if I just let go? To explain, we've tried to part on several occasions but keep being drawn to each other... anyway, the reading was 14.1.4.6>46. I have always felt that I had possession in great measure in our relationship. Will he come back to me? or should I just let go and move on?

Regardless of how you phrased the question i feel the answer shows you have something of worth here (14) that just takes some work (46). 14.4 i find particulary relevant...you don't need to agree on everything, you need perhaps to grow much more comfortable with your differences. Could it be some of the pressure in the relationship is through a subconscious belief or idea that to love one another two people must have the same outlook and so on...when actually you two haven't, maybe you differ more than the average couple might, but this isn't a reason to give up, not the way i see it. Probably both of you need to grow into this relationship (46) at least you are both growing through it and growth is often not comfortable or easy...but what a lovely reading for the relationship.

perhaps you do need to let go a little, not of the relationship itself but some of the 'requirements' you both think necessary for the relationship to be a 'success'. 14.4 can also indicate you are judgingthis relationship through the standards of the world...you know you see you argue alot and think 'ah this can't be good'..personally i think the reading says you have something good, but perhaps you need to allow each other your differences without getting too stressed about it

I have no idea if this contradicts Pink M (i so want to call you Pinky, may I ? ) because i didn't read all of the responses..but in the first i think we had similar takes.


PSI know the question was 'what if i walk away' type thing but my feeling is the answer refers tothe great value of the relationship

 

[my_key]

I asked the I Ching what would happen if I just let go? ... anyway, the reading was 14.1.4.6>46.

Hi stellar

I'm not sure I'm seeing this totally as Trojan has....but the outcomes may well be similar. This is I think an answer just for you which if you can take on board will be of benefit not only for you but for the relationship.

Hex 14 sort of combines inner strength with outer clarity - so you see everything how it really is and have the inner wealth to address the situation in a truely beautiful way.

14.1 - The difficulties are there and must be met. Be mindful of them and don't let them take you to places you don't need to go.
14.4 - Make some consciuos choices to keep things on the straight an narrow. Don't be tempted to be dragged into power over or power under situations.
14.6 - Staying modest and true will do you the world of good.

46 - So you are growing from the bottom position upwards all through your own efforts. This is a real opportunity.

Wow !! So if you just let go .............


Be Well

Mike

 

[pink_mandolin]

Pinky M

Haha, yes Trojan you can call me Pinky M or just Pinky- I sound like a porn star Yes thats exactly the same thing I saw ! Great minds and all that! Just exploring the lines- Once I get started there ain't no stopping me! xxx

-Luuurve Pinky M.

Stellar I agree with trojan, I think it would be a waste to throw this relationship away considering the lines- If it was my hex I def would be wanting to work through problems! I'd also feel quite "blessed"!

I also love Mikes take on this

Goodluck with this!!

 

[stellar]

thank you all for these really insightful comments, your shared views that this is too good to lose are in line with my hopes when I first read the reading. but the ambiguity remained for me. sadly, things have moved on apace since then, and I have decided to walk away. I can only trust that if he was meant to be mine he will come back to me, with a greater acceptance of our differences (thank you trojan, but it was generally him who had difficulty with that), and a greater willingness to work through them. meantime, I can take heed and face the difficulties (we work together), so I can take measures to avoid getting drawn in, behave modestly, and push upward with my life on my own.
I do agree it is a waste, but maybe too much water has passed under the bridge... or maybe he needs to realise what he has lost. I don't know, he tell me he still wants me to be in his life(??) but for the moment I can only let go.
I really struggled with the ambiguity of this reading, and your comments have all helped me to make a difficult decision.
btw, I did a follow-up reading in light of my decision to let go... question seeking advice about how to behave towards him (bearing in mind we work together). The Yi gave me 61.5>31. 61 makes perfect sense. 31 left me wondering I have to say.
Onwards and upwards I guess (but not too far up)... trusting all the way!!!
cheers everyone, love and peace

 

[pink_mandolin]

Act with your true feelings...

61.5---41
I believe this is saying stick to your inner truth, The text says "he possess truth that links together, no blame" Truth that links togther. It talks about having an internal unity- I wonder if this is talking about your bond with him. You should respond to him & behave towards him based on your true feelings. I think this hexagram is saying that you should use your deep understanding to pardon his mistakes & respond to him as it feels natural. Could it be your choice to let go isn't based on your true intentions or feelings? That the need to let go is stemming from unforgiveness- i.e. you feeling deeply let down/disappointed in him. That when you see him at work your heart will call you to respond to him based on your bond and inner truth- you certainly wouldn't be to blame for this. I think this is saying to let down your guard- trust your true feelings and inner truth. I think from this hex- when you see him next & over time you will know just what that inner truth is. It changes into Decrease 41. I'm seeing this as when you act with your true feelings intentions towards him based on your bond or truth that links togther with him you'll reduce any feelings of anger that you have and this will lead to a natural state of forgiveness! I think this line is talking about the love that is there between you.

I keep thinking of that 14! Possession in great measure, it is my sneaky suspicion you'll eventually change your mind! Anyway, it took great courage to make your decision! Whats really important is that you feel comfortable and happy with yourself and your decision! Thanks for the update also!! I wish you all the best with this!!!!!

-Pinky :hugs:

 

[stellar]

aargghh! sorry, I think you have misread - 61.5 moves to 31 (influence/wooing) - hence my new confusion... to take a maiden to wife and all that (it is SO tempting to read these things literally??!!) - but I will resist.
However, whilst I am happy to forgive all, the effort lately has been too one-sided, which is why I concluded that letting him go, and believing that I have possession in great measure that will allow me to move on, was ultimately the right decision. Irrespective how how things develop, I will take heed of 61... this is a time of grieving for me, and I need to dwell on how to conduct myself appropriately. The Yi offers good counsel, and I really appreciate the thoughtfulness you have put into your responses.
love and hugs, x

 

[rodaki]

this can be either
61.5>41, or
62.5>31

?

 

[stellar]

oops! sorry folks... 62.5>31 it was (typos heh!). The reference to grief certainly resonates with how I feel about this situation. The reading on 62 is what I will be concentrating on for the foreseeable. Thanks again to all for helping me discern the guidance in this.
onwards...

 

[pink_mandolin]

Find Support

Stellar, no worries!!

I think this line of 62 means to find your support during this time without it you might struggle, also Take it slow, do only the nessisary, conserve your energy to get through this time, don't waste your inner resources on anything unimportant large or grandiose, just take small steps forward, try and stay centered/balanced. Don't lose your cool

Hope this helps
x

 

[Trojina]

oops! sorry folks... 62.5>31 it was (typos heh!). The reference to grief certainly resonates with how I feel about this situation. The reading on 62 is what I will be concentrating on for the foreseeable. Thanks again to all for helping me discern the guidance in this.
onwards...

maybe you are right about him needing to realise what he lost and alter his behaviour over the arguments. Hope your grief is short lived..but if its any consolation i think he may be the loser if he lets you let go ! Maybe he will come to his senses.