15 > 29

[jazzcat]

Greeting all. It's been a while since I've posted, I had an unpleasant experience back in late October and decided to take a break. I've been lurking here, reading (especially the "memorizing threads") and enjoying, though never felt like I could make a positive contribution to anyone else's threads.
I've started consulting the I Ching again, and so far, no more unpleasantness... however, this latest reading is stumping me a bit. Through a reading or two as well as a lot of introspection and self analysis, I've come to understand that at this point, I'm not ready to "meet someone". However, I feel like it's a situation I'd like to correct. So my question was : "What to I need to work on in order to make myself more "ready" to have a relationship?"

I got 15 with changing lines 2,3 & 5 which leads to 29. I read the memorizing threads sections on both hexagrams. As well, I read what is on LiSe's site. I must say I'm confused. The first part is the whole "modesty" thing. Most people have different interpretations about what it means to be modest. Even on this site alone, I've read rather contrasting views on the matter. I had never thought of modesty as something that I needed to work on, as I tend to shy away from talking about myself. (Yes, I realize that it's immodest to say that I think my modesty is fine as it is). So ... is the reading suggesting that, though I may think I'm modest, I may need to reassess that?

Ah, and then my old pal 29. Again, I've read so many views on what it means, that I can't really remember how I felt about it initially. The one thing that came to mind is the concept of getting used to dangerous situations by being immersed in them more often. This makes sense, as I'm often overly cautious, especially in social situations. I'm the guy at the party that only talks to the people he came with because he finds new people intimidating. Perhaps it's time to put myself in social (ok, I know they're not "dangerous" per se) situations more often so I can get used to them.

As usual - I've rambled, so thanks to anyone who has read this far. I'd be specifically interested in any comments on the relationship between 15 & 29, because, separately, I've read a lot about both.

 

[Lavalamp]

"What do I need to work on in order to make myself more "ready" to have a relationship?"

15.2 Work on being able to express your heart and good character through your words and actions.
Examples might be I guess random acts of kindness, maybe telling people how much you appreciate them, or writing a song? Think of ways to do this.
15.3 Be self effacing and consistent, avoid the temptation of self promotion, follow through on your commitments and you'l have good come to you, people will help you on your journey.
EDIT it's 15.5, not 15.6! ack.
15.5 Without telling others how great you are, you need to push them towards excellence. By example, expectations and with energetic measures. Kinda means being a badass in terms of talent, I guess as a teacher and musician as you are, be a Big Brother, a Mentor or a Dad, but not one that says he's superior to others. Responsibility is important in relationships.

29 Be sincere and you will succeed. Keep going, be consistent and share what you have learned with and be an example for others.

 

[jazzcat]

Many thanks, lavalamp. You've distilled some vague notions I had about the reading into more tangible thoughts and concrete examples. I'll definitely be thinking these things through.

 

[ginnie]

Hi Jazzcat
You have posted an interesting combination.

The 29 is your relating hexagram. The relating hexagram shows your relationship to the question you are asking. The 29 indicates that the very idea of beginning any "relationship" fills you with great trepidation and apprehension ... most likely with very good reason, since relationships can be like torture, especially when a person is not socially outgoing.

"Modesty" -- the word in English doesn't capture the meaning very well. A lot of people have trouble with this hex 15. I think it means something more like "be very realistic with yourself."

I agree with Lavalamp's suggestions under 15.2, especially being kind and saying how you appreciate something. In other words: Say something nice to someone!

15.3 means, to me, that it's going to be hard for you. It will be arduous, as this is not your thing. You are a musician, and musicians usually do not verbalize very easily. Music is a different language from words.

15.5 tells you to go on the offensive to overcome what may in fact be some bad habits connected with your long-term shyness. If you need to buy a new pair of pants and a shirt, for example, go out and spend that money. Are your shoes run down in the heels or do you need a new pair of boots or a haircut? Being dressed well can make you feel less inhibited. Maybe I'm way off the mark with my interpretation of this line, but it is telling you not to hold back but rather do whatever needs to be done to overcome the obstacles.

And I'm wondering why we human beings sometimes think of speaking up and saying a few sentences to each other to be the hardest thing on earth ...

But we're all in the same boat and have to learn to overcome these apprehensions. But not in one big jump. Take human bites.

In fact, that's what I think hex 15 usually means in general: Take human bites. Be more realistic.