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15.3>2 makes no sense to me as an answer to this question

leonine

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Hi all,
a few days ago, I met a woman a train. The food car guy introduced via a tiny sketch she had made that I added to. We had a playful/flirty 'battle' of sketches ( Great White Shark Vs the Death Star etc etc ). We got to talking, found some commonalities etc, and found out she had just moved to my city. I told her about a great bar with a theme we both liked and asked if she wanted to grab a drink there sometime over the weekend or next week, she said this week was better, (so not just a yes, but something that suggests to me genuine interest) so I said thursday, and she said yes and took the initiative of giving me her number. I texted her a screen shot of the bar location later that night, to which she responded "Perfect", then I replied " how's bout 7:30". I received no reply. The next day I sent a follow up text basically saying 'hey didn't receive a confirmation, let me know if 7:30 actually works".
No reply to that, so I assumed she blew me off. I ended up grabbing a drink at said bar anyways as I was in the neighborhood to run an errand.

Anyways, I asked the iching a very simple question:
Why was I blown off? I of course realize these things happen, but this was confusing as she certainly seemed into it enough to say yes, give me her number and respond to my first text.

I received as a reply to my question
15.3 > 2
Modesty, The Symbol of Humility, Moderation, Humbling, Respectful/Humble, Yielding/Retiring
Modesty creates success. The superior man carries things through.

Line 2: Working hard toward humility, the jun zi will have grace in death. This will be auspicious.

Ok, I've never really understood the advice or insight of 15 except when it comes up in questions of the likes of " How should I deal with my jerk of a boss" (as a made up example).

This by no means seems to answer my question, neither the Hexagram or line, or the resulting hexagram. Or am I being given advice?

Any thoughts or insights?
 

Trojina

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Well who are you quoting as it makes no sense to me either....'grace in death' ? That's not what the I Ching says that is someone's commentary on it I think. Buy Hilary's book or join wikiwing or just get some better resources or read around this forum more but meantime there is a very old thread on 15.3 here which may help

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?11896-15-3-gt-2
 

leonine

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thanks for the reply Trojina,

I picked a particular translation( Wu) from Jamesdekorne's website of the line,
probably not the best to post here, though I should add I read all of the translations from that page, so here is another by Liu of the same line:
The superior man works in a modest way to conclusion. Good fortune
I'm going to guess that "conclusion/death" have something to do with different interpretations of the same Chinese character that probably also means something along the lines of "end".

Anyways, even substituting "conclusion" for "death", I'm not getting how this line and hexagram answer the question of why I was blown off.

Read through the thread you posted (actually did so before posting this shared reading), and just checked it out again, and I'm not really finding much relevant in it to my question and the question of what's up with this line in response to the question I asked. The best I can come up with is that maybe I'm being told to not sweat the situation and to keep on working modestly, which in this situation may mean mean trying to date etc... but to me that's a stretch.
 
D

diamanda

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I'm going to guess that "conclusion/death" have something to do with different interpretations of the same Chinese character that probably also means something along the lines of "end".

You guessed right. The character is 終.
"From thread 纟糸 and phonetic 冬. Meaning the end as in the end of a string."
(from chineseetymology.org)

Why was I blown off? 15.3 > 2
She reached some sort of conclusion about you, that's why she backed off.
 
M

maggie may

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I think questions about the motivations of others are inherently difficult to understand. One thing is you are assuming she blew you off, which seems likely, but is not necessarily the case. For example, maybe her phone fell in the toilet and she has no money to fix it. I am not saying that is in the reading, just that there could be other possibilities.

Say she did blow you off because her ex boyfriend suddenly showed up and she is thinking of getting back together with him. What hexagram and series of lines would show that to you in a way you would understand it? Maybe that is not a good example, but I hope you can see the point I am trying to make. You say it is a simple question, but I do not agree.

I get a sense of H15.3 that there is something unexpected about the situation. You are seeing it one way that is fixed (like mountain), but there is more to it then meets the eye. You may never know, in this case. As you said there is that sense of completion in line 3, and that you are toiling on with integrity. I get a feeling that her decision had little to do with you as a person. You did nothing wrong or nothing to deter the situation. Things change. I think you showed great follow through in asking her out and taking the lead. At least you are not sitting around kicking yourself for not even trying. Such an attitude and approach is auspicious indeed, and I think it will serve you well.

Best wishes,
Maggie
 

Trojina

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I'm not 100% sure she has blown you off although it certainly sounds like it.

I can't associate this line in any way with death, it's about carrying through with something until it's done...er which is precisely what she hasn't yet done. I'd think she might still come through and I also think with this line if I were you I'd call her again. I understand you may not be inclined to but I just wouldn't give up on this yet. Hope I'm right but if not I'm sorry this happened to you, it's not nice.
 

angelatlantis14

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Hi Leonine,,
don't we all wish we could avoid being subjected to this kind of behavior by others... :( but unfortunately there are people like that and always will. Sorry it happened to you.
What I get from this reading is less a comment on this persons motives (which, if she truly blew iff/ghosted you, are bound to be meritless) but a recommendation for yourself to not let yourself be discouraged or feel less worthy than before. The line 3 says "A superior man of modesty and merit carries things to conclusion. Good fortune." I see this as referring to you. You are a person of value, and while you need to accept the other persons rejection modestly, it does not interfere with you as a person. Accept what has happened (changing Hex 2 underlines that), but stay true to yourself, don't change anything, but focus on your inner worth.

Just one more possible interpretation of this seemingly puzzling reading!


best wishes

maui
 

Trojina

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don't we all wish we could avoid being subjected to this kind of behavior by others... but unfortunately there are people like that and always will. Sorry it happened to you.

Yes and I think it is a cruel thing to do to others. Afterall if you change your mind and decide not to meet someone how hard is it simply to text 'sorry can't make it' so the person isn't left sitting by themselves in some bar. But sometimes there is a an explanation and I'm hoping there is one here.
 

angelatlantis14

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Absolutely! The only comforting thing about experiences like this is that a person with such inherent disregard of others feelings would not make a good friend or partner or contact in general...
But this may or may not apply to the person Leonine talks about, maybe there is indeed some better explanation.
 
M

maggie may

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I got the feeling too that it would not hurt to try again with texting. Dating is so challenging these days. She may have liked you and then felt fear about meeting up somewhere with a guy she just met on a train. I am not saying it is right that she left you hanging, only that fear and doubt can make people act in ways not generally in accord with their nature. I was thinking that some conversational texting, sharing of those similar interests would be good. Leave out the pressure of a meet up while there is time to get to know each other. It may well be over for this scenario, but something to keep in mind for the future. I think a first meet up is better as something really casual like coffee or a walk. It is also nice to have a chance to get to know each other online, or by text, etc. I am struggling with being on the dating scene, and I think I might have felt skittish too. I don't think this is all in the reading....just sharing my own take on it.
All the best.
 

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