16.4.5 > 8

[redoleander]

What line would you have me hold at the center and come back to as a guide now?

well, I got two lines!

16.4.5 > 8

Looking at it now, I’m actually having a new thought that maybe 16.4 is the line and 16.5 is what’s in the way of me believing that line? Sort of like “which would you rather believe”

But that might not be it at all. I’m sure line 5 has its use. I’m curious any experiences with Line 5 because on one hand I understand it as a nudge to use the difficulties of life, to work with them. I feel though it could all be an unresolved problem or way of thinking that really should or could be resolved.

16.4 sounds like optimism, that by having faith and coming from the right place I will find exactly the people and things I need. And then there’s line 5… maybe that it will be a push-pull between these two things? Maybe long-standing issues around connection.

I’ve seen a lot of people say that 16.4 can be somewhat superficial but I’m not sure why that line would be given to me if it were truly superficial.

anyway. Any thoughts?

 

[diamant]

You asked for one line, but... 8 says both, side by side.
So you got two lines.
The charismatic charmer of 16.4.
And someone heart-broken in 16.5.

 

[redoleander]

That’s 100% right! That part I already do know a bit. My wife came back but it was totally an illusion. She went straight back to her ex within days and has (clearly) been talking to her during this time, something I knew instinctively but she was never honest about. So, yes. I am actually experiencing some peace because mostly what I tortured myself about always were my own mistakes or things I didn’t say or do exactly right, meanwhile it was just a 54UC situation no matter what. I went and looked back at my first “what is the future of my marriage” casting and it was 54 UC. That never changed I guess.

I had read this casting as sort of what to do next, or how to get through, that was the spirit in which I was asking. So I looked at it that way but maybe this is what it was saying because it’s totally accurate.

 

[Matali]

Hello
Hexagram 8 can mean advice : look for a new union, a new relationship that will suit you better

 

[redoleander]

Thanks Matali. I did read it as saying something like “don’t worry you won’t actually be alone; but yes there is something painful there too”. I have never had a hard time meeting anyone although I’m very isolated right now because of COVID. I tend to wait a while between relationships so that’s probably ok anyway. Easy to despair and think the worst but hopefully what I have learned from this will help me find someone better.

 

[diamant]

what to do next, or how to get through

I think this cast shows that it takes two to tango, or, more specifically, it takes two to play this specific game: a charmer, and someone willing to be heartbroken by the charmer. If your wife is back (or semi-back) with her ex, rest assured that your charmer wife will behave in the same manner to her too. No matter who she's with, the same scenario will play out.

What you can do, as I see it, is understand exactly how you became a participant in this game. When you saw the very first red flags, when she first overstepped your boundaries, how come you stayed and accepted it? From what I understand, it all reached a point where you just couldn't bear it any longer, so you asserted yourself - but you had already taken too many steps away from your power, and she just wouldn't have it. Note also how she still has her ex wrapped around her finger. She sounds like a pro to me, yours is not the first heart she's breaking, neither will it be the last. Obviously she has no heart and can't stand it when others do.

 

[redoleander]

One interesting thing is that her ex always cheats on her. So, needs to be in some kind of dynamic like that I guess. I don’t have that to offer.

And yes, I will say without trying to put too much of a bow on it because of course I’m quite sad, that I have a lot of clarity in a short time looking at things really, really honestly. I have a therapist but I’m already looking into a few other things to help me take advantage of this moment really root out what got me into this. I know that I won’t do it again, exactly this. But I have to focus on my healing so that I can approach things differently in the future and not end up with another set of problems I don’t want.

 

[Anavim]

I think what the I Ching is trying to tell you is that you need to go out more. Don't just follow your passion, make passion follow you. Approach some community, do some service work, basically catch the first opportunity and look outwardly, not inwardly. That situation you were in was hopeless through no fault of your own and perhaps it's the "not my circus, not my monkeys" kind of thing. Enthusiasm is thunder over earth, definitely not some passive hexagram. You may be fatigued from all this but going outside won't kill you. Hexagram 8 is sometimes translated as Loyalty. What you want is Loyalty and you attract that by - enthusiasm.
Line 4 in hex 16 reads: "You are the source of enthusiasm and can achieve success. Do not doubt yourself. You gather supporters around you the way a hair clasp holds hair together".
Doesn't sound like story about your ex, at all. And you'll forget about her as soon as you "gather supporters" and become a source of enthusiasm.

 

[diamant]

Very interesting that with her ex she's in the role of 16.5.

 

[redoleander]

Very interesting that with her ex she's in the role of 16.5.

Ah that’s so true isn’t it! I hadn’t thought of that.

 

[redoleander]

Line 4 in hex 16 reads: "You are the source of enthusiasm and can achieve success. Do not doubt yourself. You gather supporters around you the way a hair clasp holds hair together".
Doesn't sound like story about your ex, at all. And you'll forget about her as soon as you "gather supporters" and become a source of enthusiasm.

I think this also applies to my work because I have a large number of people I work with, clients and students, and I’ve been feeling called to start more groups and community (virtually) but that still is connection and it’s also me going back to my passions. This relationship has also been sort of my lowest time in work not coincidentally I don’t think. Just a lot of distractions. So, I do think that following that and coming back into my more public self will likely lead to more connections in general and release me from some isolation. My professional role is to be public and help others and be a motivator… I think that it’s good to get outside of myself like you mentioned.

 

[Anavim]

I think this also applies to my work because I have a large number of people I work with, clients and students, and I’ve been feeling called to start more groups and community (virtually) but that still is connection and it’s also me going back to my passions. This relationship has also been sort of my lowest time in work not coincidentally I don’t think. Just a lot of distractions. So, I do think that following that and coming back into my more public self will likely lead to more connections in general and release me from some isolation. My professional role is to be public and help others and be a motivator… I think that it’s good to get outside of myself like you mentioned.

That's great if you have that which I Ching points to within reach.
I didn't look too much into line 5 because I think that line 4 is stronger here because it's Yang that changes, but I might be wrong. Anyways, line 5 doesn't sound bad either.
Here is something from my book of I Ching:
line 5:
1. You know you don't have the energy to act and feel oppressed at having to hold back, until you look and see someone who rashly went ahead end in failure. Then you see that your enforced waiting is wise .
2. The greater loss one suffers, the greater fortune one will amass.
3. Long illness makes the patient a good doctor.
Basically, you need to push yourself to work. It's not going to be all smooth, but in the end, it will be very satisfying, more than you think.
Line 4 also says not to doubt yourself.

 

[rosada]

just a comment on line 5...
I once got it when I was considering renting "Ground Hog Day" and wanted to know what the movie was about.
(For those who haven't seen the film, it's the story of a fellow who keeps repeating the same day over and over.)

 

[redoleander]

just a comment on line 5...
I once got it when I was considering renting "Ground Hog Day" and wanted to know what the movie was about.
(For those who haven't seen the film, it's the story of a fellow who keeps repeating the same day over and over.)

Haha wow. Yeah.

 

[redoleander]

That's great if you have that which I Ching points to within reach.
I didn't look too much into line 5 because I think that line 4 is stronger here because it's Yang that changes, but I might be wrong. Anyways, line 5 doesn't sound bad either.
Here is something from my book of I Ching:
line 5:
1. You know you don't have the energy to act and feel oppressed at having to hold back, until you look and see someone who rashly went ahead end in failure. Then you see that your enforced waiting is wise .
2. The greater loss one suffers, the greater fortune one will amass.
3. Long illness makes the patient a good doctor.
Basically, you need to push yourself to work. It's not going to be all smooth, but in the end, it will be very satisfying, more than you think.
Line 4 also says not to doubt yourself.

Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate the affirmation at this time. It’s helpful because it’s realistic. I do tend to end being “doctor” for the ills I’ve suffered with because I work with people. I think we can all and do all do that, though, regardless of profession. It’s a good reminder. It kind of takes actually feeling it all and not bypassing it for that to happen but the suffering is not permanent either. The part about someone rashly going ahead… interesting.

 

[Anavim]

Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate the affirmation at this time. It’s helpful because it’s realistic. I do tend to end being “doctor” for the ills I’ve suffered with because I work with people. I think we can all and do all do that, though, regardless of profession. It’s a good reminder. It kind of takes actually feeling it all and not bypassing it for that to happen but the suffering is not permanent either. The part about someone rashly going ahead… interesting.

suffering is real as much as you keep repeating that trauma in your mind, but overall it doesn't look like you'll be doing that, but that it's a warning not to let yourself use your energy to thinking about your ex. I mean I know what it is, but you're trying to heal and there are better and worse ways to do it...

 

[redoleander]

Agree 100%. I feel like Yi has been super clear with me about that too. I have spent so much time thinking about all this while in the relationship and the message has been that that was more than enough.

 

[redoleander]

Today I not only received the very insightful messages in this thread, and the reading itself, but had a series of occurrences and interactions that all aligned to really help me break through to the other side in terms of how I'm viewing all of this.

I (very eloquently ) cast:
"holy sh*t today was a big break through"
49.4 to 63

"Regrets vanish, there is truth and confidence. Changing mandate, good fortune."

I love having this additional perspective on a "changing mandate".

 

[diamant]

A great example of a perfectly phrased query indeed
I love the answer. You've turned the tables, and thus set everything in its right place (63).

 

[becalm]

"holy sh*t today was a big break through"

I love those days

 

[Anavim]

Keep us updated. I'd love to hear how it all rolls out over time.