17.2.5 > 54 for improving husband's & my life

[FlyingFish]

"How can my husband's and my life massively improve right now?"
17.2.5 > 54

As a reminder: I'm quite new to this, so I would appreciate interpretation help.

Our situation: mega-debt, joblessness, physical and mental health issues for us both, and both feeling quite exhausted by the idea we want to be there for each other, but just are each struggling so very much with our own stuff, emotionally... There is a whoooole lot of love here between us, but we never get to really experience it these days due to the depth of our all-encompassing pains and struggles. What do you think I'm being advised to do?

So far I've got something like... Be adaptable. Do what you can to serve others. Be mindful of who I'm spending my time with (good eggs only). Keep some kind of end goal in sight (should that be a goal for our relationship? our circumstances? visualizing my ideal life for us, or something?). I shouldn't try to force anyone (I assume my husband) to do things my way. Showing spontaneous affection is important...

Am I on the right track? What else should I be seeing? (Was my question okay to start with?)

THANKS!

 

[angelatlantis14]

Hi Flying Fish,

I think you have touched upon a number of important points already. So, here some thoughts of my own: To me, in your circumstances, 17 seems to point more to rest and recuperation than to adaptability ("Thus the superior man at nightfall goes indoors for rest and recuperation.") I don't know how realistic this is, but it seems to me to say that you should take a break from your worries, and try to get some peace of mind (probably easier said than done!) But both the reading and your description seem to indicate that a step back from your problems is needed. LIne 2 might refer to inner processes - keep the big picture in mind, don't get too bogged down by the issues, which are smaller than your soul and your capability for happiness. Line 5 might say that if you honestly focus on the good that you would like to reach, there will be good fortune.
Hope this helps

maui

 

[FlyingFish]

Thank you for your insight, Maui!

This morning I woke up and my husband had gone for a trip to the sea. He'll be back this evening, but "rest/ recuperation/ taking a step back" seems to be his natural instinct. I often interpret it as "flight," but it's probably a wisdom I don't know very well, myself.

For me it's not as natural, I want to dive in and problem-solve. Aka "fight." I have a lot of guilt feelings surrounding inactivity and not "taking action" to make things better. I feel a lot of voices in my head telling me it's lazy or selfish to just "sit around and expect solutions to just fall in your lap," or "for someone to swoop in and save you." My reaction is to stay active.

At the start of this year, I felt called –and made a pact with myself– to embrace the concept of "uselessness": that it's okay to be idle and not serve a purpose. I'm still valuable and deserve to be alive and thrive.

So far, this has caused me to experience deep deeeeep joy in my creativity and music in a way I haven't for years, however I have not made a single penny this year and I'm getting very scared about finances now that my husband's job is on the line.

Any idea for follow-up questions for me to find a bit more peace in this situation? Thank you.

 

[angelatlantis14]

Hi Flying Fish,

I can certainly relate to your impulse to "fight" and "do something" Its the way I normally approach things myself...however I had to experience that at some point, you also need to let go, in order for the things that you fight for or focus on to have an opportunity to actually develop and happen. There are probably reasonable and necessary things to do in your situation, and you likely have already done them. For the rest it may have to come naturally...To me this might be a Hex 9 situation, where a little breater is required before the breakthrough can happen.
Maybe you can ask questions that focus directly on yours and your husbands emotional well-being, like "What can I do so we feel better and more at peace in our current situation" or "How can we support each other without overtaxing our own energies?" In other words, questions of kindness to yourself and without performance pressure.
Also the concept of "usefulness" in the conventional sense of paying taxes, working a job etc. is not very useful to me - you can do all these things and still make people around you miserable and not have a good energy. To me it is more useful to be a kind and caring person...
Hope this helps

maui

 

[FlyingFish]

In other words, questions of kindness to yourself and without performance pressure.

"Performance pressure"! Now that you put it that way, I totally want to be done with that, as that's a crumby way to treat anyone, including myself!

Thanks for your helpfulness!

 

[innertruth]

Hi Flying Fish!

To me 17.5 the upper line tells that confidence in the better will do good. Only hope and faith can make things better (as an inner attitude). Please don't despair. As for 54 hexagram, it often showed me a situation where circumstances are somewhat prevailing in the situation beyond your control. 17.2 speaks of following the more experience or mature advise or way of doing things, while 17.5 shows that the perfectionism or your trust in your love or beautiful things you believe in should stay with you. 54 shows a strong desire. 54.5 shows auspiciousness of the entire situation.
54 is about inner deep change that you cannot control, old is falling apart new is coming over, this might reflect your inner deep need in something (improval/vizualizing new life with your husband)

 

[FlyingFish]

Thank you, innertruth.

Since I got this reading, I've been instilled with a quiet sense of hope that things are going to improve – something I have been trying to make myself feel for a long time without success, because it was not genuine. Suddenly it's just been present without my trying. That's a foreign but welcome feeling. Even though I can't visualize the road by which we will get there, it's the first time in a long time where the even the thought "it *might* get worse before it gets better" doesn't really scare me/ make me want to cry. All because of this little quiet hope that popped up. I've been asking many thoughtful questions of yi this week and the more I ask, the more I agree that I have to keep my faith that my love of beautiful things is one guiding force I should keep listening to. (I'd been struggling with feeling foolish for pursuing my vocation in music.)

I bet 54 is at least in part also referencing the inner transformation I'm currently allowing to take place, as I have begun to asborb advice from yi itself.

 

[innertruth]

Flying Fish,
It's good to hear yi has been a helpful flow to you. It is really how it should be. If you feel more calm and present it's working. Wish you and your husband all the love and peace
Are you a professional musician? or could you do something else for a living?

 

[FlyingFish]

Thank you, your well wishes are felt.
I posted on my vocational situation recently here:
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...to-take-action-to-improve-my-situation-or-not

(I'd appreciate more feedback on that, as only one person replied... so I'd welcome your thoughts there, too if you get a chance. If not that's okay, too, of course.)

Yes, I'm a pro.musician... I had been growing my music career for 16 years and it was going well (work with award winning artists and producers on internationally recognized projects) but "not quite well enough" financially, so I took on a side-job cutting hair. The physical and psychological challenges I faced in the work place –not to mention the energy drain that hindered my ability to do any music at all, even though I was only working the bare minimum of 1 - 2 days at hair– was finally too much to bare, so I stopped. I didn't make any progress on my music career while working there and made just barely more money than when I did music alone. Since the start of the year I've been diving into my music again, but haven't earned a penny at it so I've been fretting some about that.

After much discernment this week and, as I mentioned, lots of consulting with yi, I've decided I do need to focus on music-only for now, but I'm certainly going to keep reassessing, especially if I discover any other non-music work opportunities. There just haven't been any showing up... and I unfortunately have a lot of "special needs" (physical, emotional, language/culture-based (I live in a foreign-to-me country).

 

[innertruth]

Hi FlyingFish,
I've read your post, and fully agree with the readings provided by that lady..Couldn't add more. Your questions were quite general, and Yi doesn't really address broad questions with specific answers...You need moral support...But you are lucky to have a loving person, husband who helps you. You are not alone!
In general, it seems that artistic jobs are not well paid around the world. So this should be taken as a rule. I am sorry to hear you struggling. What does your husband do and how old are you? Maybe it's best to focus on your physical needs now,
try to get your health in a better condition in the first place...and maybe the best option is to be realistic about jobs..Do you have to stay in that foreign country? Do you have any other support circle like friends or family? If you don't realistically see any future in that place why would you stay there long-term? I am sorry i just don't know all of your circumstances, but...maybe if you would go first to cover your basic needs...