Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
The cast describes a crowd of flatterers.
Bradford once posted this photo to explain 17.4
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Is the man (1), wealthy (-ier than you (14)?
with prominence of some kind?
If yes, I'd say the 1.5 referred to him.
Thank you diamandaIf I am the one who is selfish here 1.5 > 14
The line says it would be good for you to meet a man/elder/doctor.
I believe you would benefit from counselling, to help you sort out the issue of why you want to be with someone who:
- tells you compliments with a fake voice
- isn't there for you when you need support
- doesn't display feelings or humanity
From his behaviour it's obvious he has severe behavioural issues, but of course you're not his psychotherapist, you can't sort out his issues, and you can't force him to go see a psychotherapist. In my opinion you should aim to fix the issue within yourself, of why you accept his unacceptable behaviours.
@SkyCat wanting affection and mutual feelings with your partner is natural, not selfish.
If he finds affection/feelings shocking, then the man is beyond repair.
It's also not good for you to continue to demand from him something he can't give you.
I feel something basic is peell off from me.
With all these challenges i dont want to have sec with him but my body want to have sex and the last time we did after sex i started to cry because i felt a vacuum in my psych and symptoms in my stomach such as swelling and after that i felt personal frustration/cancel/defeat and started to cry.That's a great interpretation of 23.1 > 27.
The line also says 'the legs of the bed are split', and 27 is hunger. Your sexual connection is not stable and perhaps you accept all these things because of the constant 'hunger'.
Hello SkyCat: looking at the trigram images/changes of 17.4:.... i have a very complicated relationship with trust issues and problems in our communication ....
well hello DFreed !Hello SkyCat: looking at the trigram images/changes of 17.4:
Lake above (with one moving line) suggest that he is operating on the 'pleasure principle' - that what he mainly asks about a relationship is, 'does this feel good?' or maybe, 'does this feel good to me?' There may be a certain amount of selfishness here (though I don't sense it's overwhelming, or that he's evil or uncaring ...); and then again, isn't this where we often start off in relationships: that it's about how it feels to us (that it gives us pleasure, security, etc.), but hopefully it grows into something larger - that encompasses more then just our individual selves and our wants.
Thunder below might be describing you: you are full of action, that "I (you) have to do more and more ...." Thunder is about action, but what comes to mind is that often-spoken phrase, that the definition of craziness (or at least being ineffective) is: "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". Does this seem to be describing you and the actions you've taken so far?
So here the Yi is suggesting a different, and maybe unique or outside-the-lines approach:
*** Instead of trying to change him, or expecting him to be different, what if you were to 'go with the flow' ?
(the upper trigram Water, of Hex. 3)?
(Unique, new, or outside-the-lines thinking and/or approaches can be qualities both trigrams Lake and Thunder.)
Richard Rutt's translation of Line 17.4 includes the phrase:
" ... in a covenant, could there be misfortune?" (Note the question mark here, implying that it's a question worth asking/exploring, but it's not a forgone conclusion.)
So, in letting the relationship 'just be', and for a time truly - and not begrudgingly or passively - letting him be who he is, what might you learn about your relationship, and about this 'covenant' (agreement) which you two have mutually entered into?
This opens up all sorts of possibilities (and to mention only a few here): Maybe you'll see that he is actually communicating with you - but with actions and not words. Or maybe you'll see how truly unfit you are for each other, that you have very different goals or expectations about the relationship (which doesn't make either of you right or wrong, but only different and maybe mismatched)? Or you might discover the ways that you do fit together? (or how much of a mixed bag it is?)
This might allow you to settle into the relationship and see - in a new way - what is working, and what isn't. And/Or, maybe you'll be able to better sort out what part of this is his behavior and what part of it are your issues - which can be two entirely different things (that may not have a cause and effect relationship).
The possibilities here seem ripe with promise.
Rutt's translation for Hex. 3 includes:
Not for use when there is somewhere to go. Favorable for appointing (to) lordships.
This suggests to me that this about (finding out) how your relationship is right now - and less about where it's going, which is a good thing: after all, how can you know where you want to go, if you don't know where you are right now?; And also, that it may be good to enlist the help of someone you trust to sort through what you're learning about the relationship - such as a counselor or therapist.
I hope that's of some use.
Kindly, D
Okay, I hear that. However, you started this thread by asking "What to do with my boyfriend ... ?" I sort of assumed that 'what to do with' him meant you wanted to change him in some way - or have him change his behavior. But I guess I was mistaken.I don't want to change him ...
When I suggested that you 'go with the flow' I meant that it includes being accepting of whatever happens. For example, you 'go with the flow' and he becomes growling .... so you could - as an option - then be accepting to his growling or other less-than positive behaviors. And therefore, if you're accepting of how he is, problem solved!And of course when i go with the flow he is all around growling ...
Finally, I never said you were 'crazy'. It is true however that what you are describing seems like ineffective and 'crazy-making' behavior - and that how you are describing this guy would drive me bonkers! But maybe that's not true for you. And maybe your actions and your relationship don't fit the definition of being ineffective (or crazy) that I shared above.so yes maybe im crazy but not in the way you mention ....
@SkyCat wanting affection and mutual feelings with your partner is natural, not selfish.
Compatibility is a real thing.
There is the expression:
You can't get blood from a stone.
I too, learned this the hard way.
Maybe i should change the question as "what to do in regard to" and no "with what to do " because that time i was asking me myself regard to my boyfriend and the difficult relationship ee have which doenst mean with nothing to change him i suppose.Okay, I hear that. However, you started this thread by asking "What to do with my boyfriend ... ?" I sort of assumed that 'what to do with' him meant you wanted to change him in some way - or have him change his behavior. But I guess I was mistaken.
Also, I obviously don't know you, and I don't know the history or details of your relationship. So, given that - along with the fact that the Yi often speak to us (or to me) in mythic or poetic ways, I can only offer my best shot at an interpretation - and I hope that at least a bit of that resonates with you, or makes you head towards a solution to your situation.
But this also leaves me wondering - given that you are unhappy in the relationship (that's how it seems from my end), but you also don't want to change him, and he also doesn't want to change - what are you left with? What sort of options were you hoping/thinking the Yi might offer?
When I suggested that you 'go with the flow' I meant that it includes being accepting of whatever happens. For example, you 'go with the flow' and he becomes growling .... so you could - as an option - then be accepting to his growling or other less-than positive behaviors. And therefore, if you're accepting of how he is, problem solved!
Or .... more realistically, this 'going with the flow' is giving you lots of useful information about what you need to do 'with' your boyfriend - that he does not walk his talk, that he's lethargic, that he takes on a passive-aggressive attitude when you have conflicts, that you don't feel affection from him, that he doesn't want to accept the fact that you are not a good match - but he also doesn't want to do anything about it either, and apparently you also don't want to change him .... (need I go on?).
So, given that you don't want to change him - and he doesn't want to change himself - is it possible that the 'flow' of this relationship is towards it coming to an end? I don't know that this is 100% true, but it seems quite likely.
Or another option would be for you to accept him as he is - his growling, his being lethargic, being passive-aggressive .... and you just go on the same way you have been. (I don't know if I'd be excepting of that, but it is an option for you, right?). Or as I mentioned above, that you simply learn to be contented and happy with how things are, or you continue to be unhappy with how things are.
I'm not seeing any other options, but I'm open to hearing some if there you have any.
Finally, I never said you were 'crazy'. It is true however that what you are describing seems like ineffective and 'crazy-making' behavior - and that how you are describing this guy would drive me bonkers! But maybe that's not true for you. And maybe your actions and your relationship don't fit the definition of being ineffective (or crazy) that I shared above.
However, that begs the question, why did you ask 'What to do with my boyfriend in order to be ok with myself' in the first place if he and the relationship are either acceptable to you and / or they are not driving you a bit crazy?
Kind Regards, D
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).