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18.2 to 52 and two days later 52.2. Grief and depression.

pooja123

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This year has been hard ..well most of us would agree. I already lost both parents in the first 6 months. Two days ago my beloved cat of ten years died. And so I'm grieving. I asked yi what will happen to me ? Yi answered 18.2. Mother's corruption sounds ominous. Mom died due to coronary heart disease. I am taking care of my self. I eat vegan food 25 days out a month for the past two years. I love sports. I'm quite active . Anyway the grief of losing an animal dear to you is far worst. I am full of guilt and denials. I can't let go of her death. Coming to terms that all things die eventually. Today I asked yi again ..
What advise will yi give me on my situation of deep Grief and depression.
Yi answered 52.2->18. Strange. Is this a warning about my heart? Well my heart is certainly not glad. I did stop running or going to the gym since my cat died. Too depressed. Lacking sleep to work out. I dunno why I keep including my health regime. What is yi truly advising me? Move on? Time will heal?
 
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moss elk

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Hi pooja,
Sorry to hear of your losses.

In the last seven years I lost a parent, an uncle, a brother, and two young cousins (28 and 32 y/o),
There was pain each time of course, grief is a gradual process to go through.

I have read many times that 18.2 and 18.4 refer to specific fixed meanings
that are not specific to the individuals...
But my experience has shown something different:
They refered to specific characteristics within that mother or father.
(Example: back when I used to drink alcohol... yi called it 18.4,
Because father was an alcoholic)

So, I think it may be a good time to think about her,
How she was, the shiney and not so shiney parts. (Did she have any pessimistic or depressive or hypochondria traits?)
Keep the love, ditch any inferior behaviour patterns she had.

Does this feel true?
 

pooja123

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Hi pooja,
Sorry to hear of your losses.

In the last seven years I lost a parent, an uncle, a brother, and two young cousins (28 and 32 y/o),
There was pain each time of course, grief is a gradual process to go through.

I have read many times that 18.2 and 18.4 refer to specific fixed meanings
that are not specific to the individuals...
But my experience has shown something different:
They refered to specific characteristics within that mother or father.
(Example: back when I used to drink alcohol... yi called it 18.4,
Because father was an alcoholic)

So, I think it may be a good time to think about her,
How she was, the shiney and not so shiney parts. (Did she have any pessimistic or depressive or hypochondria traits?)
Keep the love, ditch any inferior behaviour patterns she had.

Does this feel true?
Thank you. This helps a lot. Aha moment.
 

IrfanK

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Pooja, very sorry to hear about your parents and your cat. Ah, I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose my cat at this point in my life!

Just looking at the second line of 52 (Balkin):

He keeps his calves still.
He cannot rescue the one he follows.
His heart is not glad.


You can't rescue a person or an animal after they've died. They've moved on. There's nothing you can really do except remember them. And "... the one he follows", it feels like some dependency, a recognition of the importance of your cat and the role she played in your life.

And you can't move your legs. You can't keep on walking on the same path. To me, it sounds like the period of grief is an enforced period of reflection, a time to reassess your life. And that comes through in the judgment and image, too. Sitting still.

To me, 18 sometimes feels like it's about ancient, difficult family issues that are so embedded that nobody even thinks about them, let alone addresses. I was very fond of my own father, but he was a very strange and difficult person and he died unhappily. When he died, I let myself think about all sorts of issues and found it easier to acknowledge all sorts of things that I'd prevented myself from thinking about when he was actually alive. You didn't talk about your relationship with your mother or your father, but in my experience, almost everyone has some serious issues with their parents that affect their lives. It may be a time to reflect and close the account with them.

So, this isn't going to be a happy period for you. But it may be a valuable one.

PS I've got a friend, a psychologist, whose area of study is "positive psychology." Her big focus is on how grief and tragedy can result in growth. It's all about helping people to develop the strengths that emerge as a response to a tragedy, rather than trying to patch up the wounds. As she says, the idea is barely recognized in psychology, but you find it all the time in literature (she likes Dostoyevsky!). I spent a lot of time talking with her when I was interviewing people with leprosy related disabilities, people who had often been rejected by the wives and husbands and family, driven out of their village, and so on. I googled around to try to find something by her mentor, but couldn't locate it. I did come across this, which has some of the ideas in it:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...lassroom/201212/the-positive-psychology-grief
 
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marybluesky

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Hello;

very sorry to read that. Yes it hasn't been a good year for most people.
I think both readings say keep still, you couldn't and can't control everything. You couldn't rescue your loved ones, you're not guilty. And stop worrying about the future.

Good luck
 

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