19.4 to 54 divorce him or not?

[scorpioontherun]

dear all,
I'm new to the forum and slightly obsessed with I Ching lately. I'm seriously thinking of divorcing my husband, but I asked, since he's threatening me to take away the children from me, "what can I expect if I decide not to separate from X" that is try to reconcile, surrender in a certain way.
And I got 19.4 changing into 54
Does it mean I have to take responsability for my marriage and my actions (faults - i have them as he has) and to try reconcile even if 54 means I will always "come second" to something?
Or since 19.4 is ‘An end nearing,
No mistake.’ I should end it even if i will not be that happy afterwards

and when I asked what can i expect if I decide to divorce him I got 29.3 (I do not have to divorce?) but the bucket of the well is broken "48"?

I know I do not have to base such important decisions on I Ching .. I just want more insight, something I might overlook


Please help if you can

 

[willowfox]

"what can I expect if I decide not to separate from X" that is try to reconcile, surrender in a certain way.
And I got 19.4 changing into 54


and when I asked what can i expect if I decide to divorce him I got 29.3 (I do not have to divorce?) but the bucket of the well is broken "48"?

Your first answer indicates that if you try to hang on then your position within the marriage will degenerate into subservience, you will all power that you did have. Not a pleasant state of affairs.

Your second answer indicates quite simply that the time to leave has not come yet, you stay it will be unpleasant, you leave and that will cause deeper repercussions for you, so you need to bide your time and prepare carefully as you will need help, and understand the law.

 

[meng]

scorpioontherun,

I might emphasize your power in this by virtue of 19's nurturing oversight of the situation. It's not as though you do it for yourself, but for everyone involved. You're in a 54 situation, but you have timing on your side to improve the picture (19), if you don't wait too long and do nothing.

Not separating doesn't have to mean surrendering. It could mean taking charge of some things, like of yourself.

 

[patro]

hi scorpioontherun,
19->54 have two possible meanings.
the first one can be mean that you are on the right way but if you retry from it... what would you have to expect is to be considered as a second wife a toy and other similar meanings like the nature of 54.
the second one... considering the forth line mean that you will make him understand the situation... he will accept it.... and "54" you are wrong because you will not remain with him.

by the way.... it is wrong to put question to the IC by using the "If" formula.
Patro

 

[scorpioontherun]

tha,k to all of you ... following Patro advice I asked with no ifs "what will be my life after reconciling" and the answer is 44.2.4 to 53 again I do not understand

 

[patro]

I think that the answer promise you better day but you will not reconciling with him!!!

for me you must ask at first: have I to except to reconcile with XY?

you are asking to much... and at the same time you are not sure to want to reconcile with him...

 

[scorpioontherun]

I followed your advice patro and I got 41.1to 4
Decreasing and youthful folly

 

[patro]

well... it seams that finally there will be no reconciliation... because there is a totally unbalanced situation... some one will give to much "help" while the other take to much from the other whit out giving nothing.
the certainty of acting unfairly by those who expect too much will cause the other is no longer available to give. this foolish behavior has its consequences.
So if I'm right you are the subject that is giving to much!

PS: "help" have many synonyms in this case

 

[scorpioontherun]

I dont know if I'm the one whos giving ... probably not
I'm the one who gave (herself, her identity, her dreams) and suddently realised that those sacrifices were not seen, they were not appreciated on the contrary. He's a good man who gives him fully, but wants everything to be done just how he wants it to be ... I'm a beautiful (in his words) doll, I work so that he doesn't have to (he takes care of the cildren and the house), but I don't do enough of practicle things for him ... he always says "I ask you A and you give B" aka i ask you practical things and you answer with feelings ... (sorry for telling you all this but I'm soo tired). I feel bad because I'm not givinig him anything to hope for, I'm not working in our relationship, but I have panick attacks if I think of our future together ... but the Yi is saying is not the time to go (29.3 to 40)

 

[willowfox]

"what will be my life after reconciling" and the answer is 44.2.4 to 53

What will life be like for you? Not good. A continual need to chase after and keep your husband pleased.

 

[willowfox]

I got 41.1to 4

Yes, you can reconcile with your husband but you will need to make some serious attitude changes in yourself first, a total makeover. If he sees that you are changing your attitude and ways then he will be much friendlier towards you.

Stay as you are and the situation will deteriorate.

 

[scorpioontherun]

thanks willowfox for your time and kind words
so I ask again
will changing as he desires bring me good fortune?
the answer was 63.1.2.3. to 29 ... so .... no?

 

[willowfox]

will changing as he desires bring me good fortune?
the answer was 63.1.2.3. to 29 ... so .... no?

Line 63.1 is about seeing your faults and stopping them, line 63.2 says what has been lost can be regain and line 63.3 is about disciplining oneself, it will take time and effort but can indeed be achieved.

Hex 29 is about sincerity, so if you change your attitude and how you feel(heart/emotions) about your husband and circumstances then you can indeed achieve good fortune.

You must be aware that its not going to be easy for you but with effort and perseverance its possible to have a change of heart.