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yellowknife

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I said a while back that I'd give feedback on how things were progressing with the Poet I nearly got together with in March, who walked away after we agreed not to have an affair and he sorted out his dead marriage.

I have drawn and am still drawing 2 as the relating hexagram for this situation so often I've almost wondered if there's some statistical reason that 2 has to come up so much.

Just today for example (okay I have over questioned today but...)
How's our relationship developing? 23,6 to 2
What will be the nature of our future relationship; 46,2,3 to 2
How should I best be with him when next I see him? 24,1 to 2
How can I best act/be to help our relationship develop? 12, 3,4,5 to 2

I knew I was set to be seeing him this Tuesday, for the first time in nearly two months, at an award ceremony for a competition he'd judged and I'd been highly commended in. Having still never spoken about what happened between us I'd resolved I needed to bring things out into the open, and was wondering how to do this without acting with force (which the Yi has time and time again said not to do)

Suddenly the night before I found the words "go with the flow" running through my head over and over and I had a sort of warm, relieved feeling that things would be okay. (usually I'm too busying worrying and trying to plan how to approach him to have this feeling) Sure enough I ended up bumping into him somewhere else before the ceremony and he asked me to go for a drink (our first chat on our own since everything happened) We didn't broach controversial areas directly but talked naturally and warmly. I knew not to email after the ceremony (still being receptive) and to my surprise and relief he sent a lovely email the next day complimenting me on how well I'd read my poems and apologising for not being able to chat afterwards. It felt so healing.

I do hope more can happen between us in the future...but for now I'm resolving to try hang on to, or recapture that "faith in the flow" feeling more often.

Blessings
Wolverine
 
S

seeker

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Glas to hear you finally reconnected with him. I probably connect with your issue more than anyone elses because it is similar to my own, though the situation is reversed. In my case, of course I was the one who was married. But it appears yours may have a positive resolution.

One of the online interpretations I have for 2 says action in conformity with the situation and also talks about being led. I think your current course of action is the correct one. Let him take the lead and see where he goes. I'll look up more when I get home tonight and have access to my books.

BTW, interesting numerological note, 2 is usually about issues to do with couples, so maybe that is a sign of things to come
happy.gif
 

dobro p

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"Just today for example (okay I have over questioned today but...)
How's our relationship developing? 23,6 to 2
What will be the nature of our future relationship; 46,2,3 to 2
How should I best be with him when next I see him? 24,1 to 2
How can I best act/be to help our relationship develop? 12, 3,4,5 to 2"

Wolverine, I'm really glad you posted this. Recently I've been trashing the idea of 'resulting hexagrams' here. I've been doing it for two reasons: first, I don't think it's an idea that holds water; second, I want to know what other people think and why they think it. Nothing anybody's said up to now has been very convincing. But I'm really impressed by the pattern that's come up for you with that series of consultations. I don't mind changing my mind if there's a good reason to do that, and you may have supplied me with that reason. Good work.

Anyway, back to your tosses. All of those lines you drew are pretty positive. (My favorite was "How should I best be with him when next I see him? 24,1." It sounds like the Yi's saying 'getting together with him is getting back to where you should be.) But more than anything, I see a direct connection between your idea of going with the flow and The Receptive. Everything's moving toward that approach, no matter what particular pattern emerges in response to a particular question.

Your post has also helped me see Hex 1 and 2 more clearly. If Hex 2 is 'going with the flow' then Hex 1 might be 'being one with the flow'.
 

anon99

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"Only dead fish go with the flow" lol. This is not what I think but I came accross it on a 'spiritual forum' as someones signature, where usually people sign off with things like 'love and light ' etc. Quite startled me to come across it, but found it quite funny, then led me to wonder about the term 'go with the flow' - after all don't some fish actively battle the flow to get where they're going ?
 
S

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Well, salmon do swim upstream to lay eggs, but in this case I think it is more of actually going with the flow, or maybe submitting to it might be a better term. Huang, my new best friend
happy.gif
, names Hex 2 Responding, "choosing ones own predetermined path will not work out well, but following anothers wise lead will lead to success". I think it is a very auspicious reading so long as you follow his lead, let him take the relationship where he wants it to go. Hope that helps.
 

dobro p

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"I think it is a very auspicious reading so long as you follow his lead, let him take the relationship where he wants it to go."

That's one possible reading. Another is: so long as you're receptive and go with the flow of events.
 

yellowknife

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Thanks all.

I do hope not to be a dead fish!

It is indeed interesting and surely significant that it's been the relating hexagram so many times. I've had 2 as the first Hexagram maybe just two or three times over the last six months.

I've been thinking as well about the aspect of
2 that is about making things concrete- giving form to the creative impulse expressed in 1.

I've just realised that I have been doing that over the past few months- in fact it's been a major way of my coping with the breakdown in communications between me and the Poet and staying connected with him.

I think the following might possibly be examples of 2 as the relating hexagram in operation;

I wrote a poem using a method he had for generating improvised poems...it then led to me being able to write lots of other poems.

I've been thinking about his views on poetry and audiences and formulating my own. A project I've been setting up to run shows has been influenced by my conclusions, particularly in the mix of poets I book.

I entered my work in the competition that he, ironically was the judge of. Both judge and entrants were anonymous to each other and I was highly commended.

+++++++++

Just a point about my aims in the relationship.

I want to know and be known, love and be loved.
I don't want him to leave his wife if that's the wrong thing for him to do for his stability and family.

Although being happy to be a 54 style "concubine"-eek- might seem just wrong and perverse I believe we could both help each other grow and open up hugely. I couldn't say that if I didn't have good reason to believe he's genuinely totally disconnected from his wife- yet, of course, irrevocably connected by their family.
 

dobro p

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You know, there are people we connect with and stick with. But there are also people we connect with and don't stick with. At this stage, all you know about the poet is that the two of you connect. In this context, with the Yi saying that no matter what question you ask it's all moving toward Receptivity, the message seems to be 'be receptive to the connection'. The Yi's showing you how to deal with it; it's not telling you what's going to happen.

I mean, it's good advice, but I note a complete lack of guarantees or even reassurance. You okay with that?
 

malka

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Wolverine ...
I agree with the way Dobro framed your readings: everything you throw is moving towards 2, receptivity. I think another way to see this is that everything about your relationship with this man is "held" in receptivity.

Here is a lovely commentary of 2 from dreamhawk.com:

"Hexagram Two
K?un (Pro: Kwên; vowel so short as to be almost non-existent)- Receptivity

The vital feminine principle of receptivity and formation is indicated by this hexagram. All that is receptive, nurtures and gives birth is at work. Persistence in a direction harmonious with personal needs and the society one lives within lead to success!

With careful awareness your ability to receive, to nurture and bring forth the new can stream through you. Do not avoid uncertainty, or losing your way, but hold to your goal, and you will find your direction. Much confronts you. Take from it like the plant takes the minerals it needs from the soil. Build it into what you are developing within you. But also give of yourself to what is forming.

Allow those who are warm and supportive to draw close. Let those who are cold and distant be lost from you.

Remaining receptive like the fertile earth mother, avoiding interference from distractions will bring success in a new birth. But receptivity is not passiveness. It receives, but it gives a quality of its own.

The power of receptivity is enormously enhanced in regard to the question. Allow the openness to remain to let the immense richness flow in and be shaped. Much that has existed in the past may now be re-formed and given new life. There may be a time when this seems very abstract. But as the new takes form and grows, then recognition arises. Follow the needs of what is growing in this way. Be nurturing to it. Recognise the fragility of what is still young and immature. Guard it well until it grows into strength.

To nourish means to give all your resources, to offer them to be used in what has been received through receptivity. Like the mother of the unborn baby whose very body becomes the nourishment for the inner child, let all your experience and feelings be food for what is developing.

If there is not a sense of being already fertile with inner growth, then that which will fertilise will be sought out or attracted. Constancy is a means of attaining great ends.

Key words: Receptivity, nurturing, creativity."

I wish you well with this,
Malka
 

yellowknife

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Thanks very much for posting that Malka, it really adds to what I've already read.

I'm currently in a person centred counselling group- and one of the issues I talk about there is how I find it difficult to really open myself to receiving love and affection. The piece you posted illuminates how this may be one of the issues arising with the Poet.

To be fair however, he's not currently offering love and affection, so far as I can see. He is however appearing to offer the possibility of a renewed friendship- which I want to be receptive to, rather than dwelling on the complications of the past.

He's a pretty reticent person himself though- and I sometimes think he'd have to announce exactly what he wants of me/feels about me (good or bad) in flashing neon lights and ten foot high letters for me to trust my instincts.

Asking this morning where we're heading now I got 23,6 to 2. Again.
 

dobro p

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"Asking this morning where we're heading now I got 23,6 to 2. Again."

Head for higher ground in yourself and leave what's small and petty behind - that'll take you toward a capacity to receive.

Every time I look at 23.6, it seems to me to indicate two tendencies in myself, both of which are possible. One is attractive, one isn't. Which do you prefer? Duh... I think it means you can embrace the higher road and leave the small stuff behind, if you're wise enough and strong enough to do it.
 

yellowknife

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I'm trying, really, thanks Dobro.

What you said made me look back and realise the instances where I haven't done 2 and gone with the flow.

They're both physical, in a way, which seems appropriate to the earthiness of 2.

Last year a few weeks after I'd come out of a four and a half year relationship I went to a friend's wedding. I got chatting to a man and we clicked pleasantly. It scared me a bit because I knew I was nowhere near ready to contemplate anything romantic. He came over to ask me to dance and I was torn- really wanting to have an enjoyable time but worried about the consequences. I went on to the dance floor with him, looked stuck and awkward, didn't move with the music and eventually apologised and left the floor. Now, I love dancing, liked the music, liked him and i think, if I'd gone with the flow (literally) and overcome the old demons of lack of confidence and "what ifs" I could have had a very pleasant few minutes at least.

Another instance involves the Poet. In March when we were not talking about not having an affair, we were saying our goodbyes. He asked me for a kiss. I wanted to become closer to him, my organic self was saying go for it...but my mind was questioning whether he actually liked me in that way because he hadn't said so in quite enough specific detail to overcome my uncertain mind (Duh, to use Dobro's word). Going with the flow there would have involved acknowledging our connection- and going with it. Not to be confused with acting on a whim, or being led into something while being unsure. Organically that would have been my flow- and I ignored it.

Sorry for the indepth detail for the squeamish- but I'm really trying to get to grips with 2 at the moment, and this conversation's helping unfold it for me.
 
S

seeker

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If anyone here was squeamish about such things they would have run when I started posting
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Please continue to question and write as much as you want and need.

I know all about trying to get to know a particular hex. Mine lately has been 16, but all of a sudden like you, I got 2. I have been getting some confusing readings, probably because I ask too many questions, so I finally cleared my mind and asked Yi calmly to please just tell me so that even in my limited understanding I would get it, will X and I get back together? I got 2, unchanging. I was kind of hoping for either Joyous or Abysmal (29 would have been disappointing, but it least then I could have just resolved to forget about him and go forward). Instead I got 2; I am hoping it means the same for me as I think it means for you. Guess only time will tell. Going with the flow is very hard when you are not sure if it will lead to a nice cool lake or take you over the falls.

BTW, check out the site I posted on another thread, 1-18 are active, so 2 is available. It might give you a different view. If nothing else, the art and poetry are beautiful.
 

dobro p

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Mind/body split.

How many of us know how to inhabit our bodies? How many know how to integrate body and mind? Not many, I think.

With women, I think it tends to be more difficult to inhabit the body. It's possible to go through the motions, and yet still not really be receptive, either emotionally or physically - it's really a big deal to open up and receive another person. The tendency is to maintain the relationship at the price of leaving body behind. Emotional's easy; physical's more difficult.

With men, I think it tends to be more difficult to inhabit the heart. It's possible to go throught the motions of a relationship when in fact all they're doing is having sex. The tendency is to have sex with her, but not commit or even engage with her. Physical's easy; emotional's more difficult.

It's just a tendency, but I think it's there for a lot of people. Is for me, anyway. See, I'd've kissed him. And I don't even know him lol.
 
S

seeker

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I'd have kissed him too, what does that say about me
happy.gif


I think you're right, women tend to have it easier with the emotional than the physical. I learned that quite well recently. If you read my earliest posts you will see that I met X when my husband and I decided to have an "open relationship". I thought I was looking to be more physically satisfied, but what I was really looking for was emotional satisfaction. It took me months of meditation and marriage counseling to realize that although we were still married and living together, he had left me a while ago, and what I really wanted was someone to share my heart with as well as my body. I found that in X, but that was not meant to be. I admit I am still confused on this answer. How can you be receptive to someone who isn't receptive to you?
 

dobro p

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"...women tend to have it easier with the emotional than the physical."

That's not what I meant exactly - I expressed it badly. What I meant was women focus on the continuity of the relationship and serve it - the connection between the two people, whereas men focus on the more discontinuous physical connection. I think the challenge for a lot of women is how to be really receptive, both emotionally and physically - how to let him in really and truly into you. Of the two, emotional and physical, I think the physical one's more difficult. For men, I think the challenge is how to go into the woman as a person, not just as a body, both emotionally and psychologically - by which I mean really and truly understanding and loving the *person* who inhabits that lovely body.

I apologize if anyone finds this concave/convex approach simplistic or offensive, but for me the physical difference between men and women is an indication of how they relate as well. Or a signpost to how they *can* relate if they learn how. Yeah, I know about the Jungian cross-gender thing - there's masculine and feminine in each of us - but I'm trying to stick to the basics here for the time being.
 

yellowknife

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I will certainly miss no further kissing opportunities should they appear!

Interesting stuff Seeker and Dobro about the heart/head, in/out split. Also coming back to nourishing of course- what we let into us and how. I used to be bulimic- a definite symbolic expression of being unable to receive- or rejecting what I needed to nourish me.

I was going to post anyway just to say- ergggghhh! I've fallen off the "flow" bandwagon...

Possibility of seeing the Poet again this week, didn't...and now in dilemma as to whether to email him or not. feeling pretty unreceptive. But...if all the 2s are about where we (could be) heading, then maybe we're not there now and I need to figure out how best to arrive there. Sigh. thinking too much again now, not just being.

Loved the AdeleArt site, thanks Seeker.
Been trying to think of something useful to say to 16. Only know that it came up for me very literally alot when I was looking at working with musicians and music- more flowing...
 
S

seeker

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Why didn't you see Poet, did something get in the way or did you decide not to? If it was something else, then it is just part of the flow and you might be right that you are not there yet. But if you decided not to see him, then I would say you are going against the flow. I'm thinking emailing him would not be being receptive, but I'm still struggling with this one too, so I could be wrong. Just curious, have you done a forum search to see if there were any that matched your particular reading? Sometimes that helps me to see how other people interpreted it.

Glad you liked the site. Keep us up to date with what happens. I'm rooting for you
happy.gif
 

yellowknife

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Thanks, that means alot.

We're quite likely to see each other Tuesday nights from now because we're doing a course in the same building. I thought we might bump into each other this week, but we didn't.

I had already been unreceptive I think in an effort not to force things (and out of fear...)
He mentioned last week that he was going to an event I'd been vaguely thinking of saying going to, and told him I might. I didn't then go- because it would only have been so I could see him, and I didn't want him to think I was stalking him. (and didn't want things that had returned to a pleasant state to go wrong)

Then at the weekend he left a message on my phone about someone's birthday drink arrangements. I didn't get back to him because by the time I turned my phone on it was too late to help. Any other friend I'd have texted back or sent a quick email explaining- but again, I didn't want him to think I was pushing things (as I write this I'm going..what??! I should get a grip)

After not seeing him last night I have now sent a short email saying I didn't get his message til too late and saying I owe him a drink if he's ever at a loose end before the course.

My fears that he'd sudddenly say get lost proved unfounded. He replied (in a friendly tone...not curt as he sometimes was in early months) saying he's not at the course for a couple of weeks but will always be up for a drink when he's around.

Crumbs.
I'm fighting a lot of fear. I need to remember that flowing feeling of last week and return to it when I can.

Asked for an image of our relationship now;
20, 2, 5, 6 to 7
An image for our future relationship;
7, 1, 2 to 24.

There is organising and marshalling to be done- as well as receiving.

I often look through past forum answers for readings I receive. Always useful- and a fascinating look at past posts. Often wonder how things turned out for people.

(Just one more question I resolved to ask just now...just one more til next week...Nature of our future relationship?- 64, 1, 4, 6 to..of course....2!)
 

yellowknife

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Should have said 64 2,4,6

Interesting slip- since I've been acting as if 64, 1 was the case...where 2 is a bit more active despite the strong need for caution...
 

calumet

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Wolverine, I come to this discussion late, being mired in miseries of my own, and grateful for your contributions to my need for help interpreting the Yi. And I apologize if I have misunderstood you. But--Isn't this man married? Pursuing (or allowing pursuit by) a married man seems to me to be, by definition, NOT going with the flow. Just a thought.
 

yellowknife

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Hmmm.
I'll think on that.

He says his marriage has been over in all but name for several years and he'd told his teenage son he and his mother would probably get divorced when he'd left home and felt, in a sense he had his blessing.

For religious reasons his wife's reluctant to divorce.
Earlier this year he announced (publicly) he was leaving the family home, but then later said he wasn't. I know this in itself indicates the marriage isn't over, no matter what the emotional or physical status of it.

I'm well aware of the "my wife doesn't understand me" syndrome but believe him to be genuine and truthful in what he says, as do his friends.

But he's also genuinely confused, wounded and not sure of what to do for the best in his future, in a life in which he says he's never realised the value of being aware of and attending to his own needs, til recently.

His flow and my flow may end up being different due to our circumstances and different needs and responsibilities. But we both deserve to find it, I think.
 
S

seeker

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I think you definately deserve it. I'll have to look up your responses later when I have more time, but I did want to comment that I think you might be hiding a bit. I don't think going with the flow means avoid him altogether. If the opportunity presents itselt to see him, I think you should take it, especially if he initiates it. I think maybe you're holding back because you are afraid that it won't work out, but if it doesn't, are you any worse off than you are now??? There are a couple of rules I live by, one of which is, the only moments in life I regret are the chances I didn't take. I don;t think you should start actively pursuing him due to the Hex 2 response, but I do think you should go with the opportunities that arise naturally or that he sets up. Don't sabotage yourself. Just a thought.
 

yellowknife

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The meaning of "seeking friends in the North and East" is becoming clearer.

In this forum, and among some of my friends, I've received wise advice and feedback about my tendency to be reticent and withdraw in case of hurt. People here and elsewhere have been encouraging me to face my fear. This is the guidance I've needed- an objective view of my fears.

Unexpectedly the Poet asked me if I was free to join him in a local pub, I couldn't make it but did reply nicely. I didn't think he'd reply as he was about to set off away for a few days- but he sent a message when he arrived.

I will reply to that, and also will go to an event where I'll see him next week when he's back.

Fingers crossed, we're flowing...
 
S

seeker

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Glad to hear it, fingers and toes crossed here
happy.gif
Getting some similar readings, so maybe there is hope for me too.
 
S

seeker

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So just wondering, and admittedly I don't have a great understanding of the individual trigrams, so I don't even know if this is a valid question, but you and I have both been getting 2 a lot. Today I got 45 and noticed that the lower trigram is also defined as the earth, receptive. Is there a correlation here?
 

yellowknife

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Good point. I bet there is. Over the past few months I've had 45 alot too.

It's joyous, lake over earth isn't it? So people talking and gathering and collecting..receiving each other, once there's something to receive. Hmmm...don't know much about the individual trigrams either but it would probably be interesting to think about how lake over earth could work.

Still having readings that propel towards 2 as the relating hexagram. Eg- just now- 19, 1,2 to 2. I'm sure I'll eventually have had every possible combination taking me to 2!

When I replied to his last message I mentioned a famous poet I know he identifies with...and he was just sat in a pub that used to be frequented by that poet at the moment at which he got the message...

My motto now- "Don't act or lead, just respond".
 
C

candid

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45 doesn't always refer to people, in my own experience. It can refer to any magnetic gathering, such as gathering ideas, gathering opinions, gathering feelings, gathering resources or gathering a following. The key to any gathering is, what's going on in the center. The center is the magnet that attracts to it its own kind, or its own like energy.
 
S

seeker

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Yep Wolverine thats the one. I too am still getting 2. Found another interpretation, conform to the situation. Based on that I am not sure if mine is telling me I will need to conform in some future situation (that is what I was asking about) or if I need to conform to the situation now and just forget about X. But I have asked and got indications that I shouldn't. When I asked why I shouldn't just forget about him I got 7.2 to of course, 2. I decided to hold off interpreting that one until I have a clearer head. I worked 60 hours last week including 13 straight on Sat and am still recovering.

Candid, thanks for that info. That makes that hex a bit clearer, or at least gives a different perspective. For instance, I could now see, depending on the moving lines or resulting hex, it even saying gather your courage to take some sort of action. Thinking of it as more than people opens a lot more possibilities.
 

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