23.6>2 Splitting Apart to The Receptive. But for whom? Please help.

[traggamout]

Hello,​

I am slightly perplexed with the latest reading I have got, although that may be down to what my question was.​

Just to give a little background: In the past year I got close to and fell in love with someone, and she fell in love with me too. However, she has been in an on and off again relationship for eight years now. For the past year or so they were not together but he has now come back into her life at the very moment it seemed like she was ready to move on. To cut a long story short, she has told me that she doesn't know how to truly end things with him right now and that while she does care for me, she cannot leave him right now even though she has confided to me that she doesn't think she even loves him anymore. And they have since rekindled their relationship. Now, by all accounts, this person she is with is hugely manipulative, emotionally abusive and only holding on to her because he found out that someone else was interested. He is also going through a hard time in his life and has had a pretty hard life in general, or so it appears.​

I have accepted this by now. I know I need to find steadiness and peace within myself and not look for it without. The question previous to this one that I consulted the Yi for helped with that. The question was, " How do I face the situation with _______ for the next month or so in order to be at peace myself and be at peace with her?" The reading I got was 32.4.5. > 48. That is, Duration changing to The Well.​

Her and I have resolved to remain good friends and not disappear into the shadows of each other's lives. However, I keep finding myself wondering how she is doing in what will eventually be a very hard place in a relationship with her boyfriend. So I asked the Yi a very different question to what I am used to. Till now I have only ever asked the Yi to comment and help me with my present situation and life. This time I asked, "Please tell me what state of mind _____ is in right now and what is kind of time is her relationship with him in this present moment?"​

The answer I got was 23.6>2 That is, Splitting Apart to the Receptive.​

My confusion is now to figure out whether the Yi has answered my question or is it still giving me a reading on my life and MY present moment. I am very confused as it could mean different things depending on what the Yi is answering. I would be very grateful if someone could help me here. I am sorry for writing so much. Thank you.​

 

[Thinkclear]

Could it be that Splitting apart is refering to splitting your original question in 2 seperate questions? You are asking 2 things in your original question:
- state of mind
- not sure what you mean right there but it seems to be a second question.

 

[traggamout]

Sorry, what I meant by the second part was: where is the relationship at this present moment?

 

[Thinkclear]

Sorry, what I meant by the second part was: where is the relationship at this present moment?

Still 2 questions
It probably is better to ask those questions seperatly. Now you do not know which question is answered.

 

[Trojina]

In the past year I got close to and fell in love with someone, and she fell in love with me too. However, she has been in an on and off again relationship for eight years now. For the past year or so they were not together but he has now come back into her life at the very moment it seemed like she was ready to move on. To cut a long story short, she has told me that she doesn't know how to truly end things with him right now and that while she does care for me, she cannot leave him right now even though she has confided to me that she doesn't think she even loves him anymore. And they have since rekindled their relationship. Now, by all accounts, this person she is with is hugely manipulative, emotionally abusive and only holding on to her because he found out that someone else was interested. He is also going through a hard time in his life and has had a pretty hard life in general, or so it appears. [/indent]

​

Ooof gullibility alert I think...possibly ? Is this the truth or her version of the truth in order to keep you in the position she wants to keep you or to keep herself in the limbo she prefers to be in ? Be sceptical. If she wants to be with you she will be with you, these invented complications are flimsy ones. Whether he had a hard life or not has absolutely no relevance to your relationship with her. You shouldn't even have to think about him. He isn't your problem and she could be using him as an excuse to dilly dally with you.

I have accepted this by now. I know I need to find steadiness and peace within myself and not look for it without.

I don't see why you should accept being kept as reserve/fallback position on the basis of all this stuff about her other guy. It actually isn't that complicated.

The question previous to this one that I consulted the Yi for helped with that. The question was, " How do I face the situation with _______ for the next month or so in order to be at peace myself and be at peace with her?" The reading I got was 32.4.5. > 48. That is, Duration changing to The Well.

Her and I have resolved to remain good friends and not disappear into the shadows of each other's lives.​

I think with line 5 you have to decide whether you are metaphorically the young man ready for new adventures or the older woman who does better to settle down ? Which are you ? I mean regardless of the fact you are actually a man or a woman which way do you choose to be ? Is she really there for you at all ? 32.4 and 48 is the rope too short the bucket leaky ?

I don't think you are being counselled to accept anything that would be like accepting being fobbed off .

However, I keep finding myself wondering how she is doing in what will eventually be a very hard place in a relationship with her boyfriend. So I asked the Yi a very different question to what I am used to. Till now I have only ever asked the Yi to comment and help me with my present situation and life. This time I asked, "Please tell me what state of mind _____ is in right now and what is kind of time is her relationship with him in this present moment?"

The answer I got was 23.6>2 That is, Splitting Apart to the Receptive.​

My confusion is now to figure out whether the Yi has answered my question or is it still giving me a reading on my life and MY present moment. I am very confused as it could mean different things depending on what the Yi is answering.​

I cannot help you with that confusion, that is the drawback about asking about others, we don't always know who the answer refers to.

But taking it as a straight answer if it were about her it would look like she has a choice either to entirely change her situation. Let's see what the line actually says from Hilary's translation

'A ripe fruit not eaten.
Noble one gets a cart,
Small people strip their huts.'

Hmm I think Wilhelm's translation is good for this line but I cannot bother to copy it out. A noble person moves on from the old situation entirely where they find they have not lost all, there is still a fruit with a seed they take. Small people just hang onto what they have.

So which will she be ? It's her choice. At the moment I'd say she was being the small person by telling you sob stories about the man she is with etc etc However she might wake up and leave him altogether maybe ? it's possible especially if you don't just hang on accepting a rotten situation.

What if Yi isn't referring to her so much as your own situation ? Well then it might be you have to make the choice as to whether to adapt or completely move on.

In this instance you know I don't think it makes much difference who it refers to. I think it's about both of you, the situation in general. Given your 32 answer as well accepting how things are is not the way to go. Time for a shake up and wake up I think. You cannot hang around listening to stories of her boyfriend's problems and what a bad man he is, you know it's all prevarication. I think you need to give her some kind of ultimatum about what her intentions are. Either she wants you or him but you certainly aren't interested in listening all about him !! He is not your problem, shake that off in order to move forward.​

 

[Trojina]

Could it be that Splitting apart is refering to splitting your original question in 2 seperate questions? You are asking 2 things in your original question:
- state of mind
- not sure what you mean right there but it seems to be a second question.

Still 2 questions
It probably is better to ask those questions seperatly. Now you do not know which question is answered

I see no problem here. There are two distinct questions

1. " How do I face the situation with _______ for the next month or so in order to be at peace myself and be at peace with her?" The reading I got was 32.4.5. > 48."

That is clear enough.

2. "Please tell me what state of mind _____ is in right now and what is kind of time is her relationship with him in this present moment?"

The answer I got was 23.6>2 That is, Splitting Apart to the Receptive."


Oh I see you mean there are two questions in number 2. Yes but I think it was intended as a whole question since the' state of mind' is totally bound up with the relationship. That is what the question is about. Her state of mind about the relationship.

 

[Lilly-La]

"Please tell me what state of mind _____ is in right now and what is kind of time is her relationship with him in this present moment?"​

Isn´t the true question you are asking here: will she skip (split) this old relationship and turn to me?

Persuming the Yi can not predict the future and all what is happening by a reading is challenging one´s own manyfolded narratives / partly subconcious longings / hopes / desires etc.
and persuming Hex23.6 talks about a transition from winter time to spring and the left over seeds contained in the melon mean 'knitting past into future', Hex23.6 can be read as: you as well as your friend carry the past into the future. So to say, there might be modulations to the story but it will not die alltogether.

This are just my personal thoughts and might mean nothing.

However i wish you and your friend the very best

 

[traggamout]

Hello, thank you very much for your thoughtful reply. I apologise that it has taken me so long to reply to this. Things have progressed quite a bit since then. I would like to just let you know where we stand now and clear up some things about where we were standing at the time of your reply that was not evident in my original post. So, at the time of casting Hexagram 23 I had already resolved to move on, however as my question so shamelessly gave it away, I was unable to do so because of my monolithic ego coming in the way. So there was no need for an ultimatum at the moment, as she had already picked him and resolved to try and make that relationship work out while still trying to remain close to me as a friend. Now, I tried doing this for a bit but was utterly unable to do so, to keep up a saccharine sweetness which I knew was disingenuous. So once I realised that I could not do that, I went and did a complete extreme turn as I am usually wont to do when things go awry in life and love. I shut her out completely and ignored her very presence (we are in our last weeks of college together). This did not help either as it weighed me down tremendously and made my heart feel almost miasmic in my own body. Just to give an aside as a bit of information, she is 24 and I am 26, she has been in this on-off relationship with this guy from the age of 15-16, so there are a lot of issues in there that need resolving. I thought she was ready to go on a new journey with me and begin to grow and resolve those issues. But I guess that was delusional at some level. So back to the current situation. Basically ignoring each other's very presence and being unable to speak to each other. A lot of it because of me taking the lead here. Today I consulted the Yi again with the question, "If I do bring back a peaceful, positive feeling between us, what is the potential that exists in our relationship. I received, 14.1.5 > 44. That is, Possession in Great Measure to Coming to Meet. I have read a little about how 44. is one of the "bad" hexagrams. Would you be able to shed some light on to what it could mean here? And just as a further update, after getting this hexagram, I wrote to her apologising for my behaviour, admitted that I was having a hard time getting over her but that it was my problem and that I was working on solving it. I genuinely do want to be in each other's lives, even if it is not as lovers, I just have to find a way to achieve that. She wrote back to me saying that she does not know how to be friends with me right now as a lot of things are going badly in her rekindling her relationship, mostly to do with the extent of her activities and how intimate she was with me, things she had not disclosed to him before this in their entirety. He is a fairly manipulative, emotionally abusive person and I know he is making her feel completely terrible about this, and I am afraid that it will be ultimately very damaging to her to keep accepting his negative comments and opinions about her personality and choices. Now, I don't mean to say that she does not have many issues, she does, but I do not think belittling and finger pointing and being nasty to the person is of any help. This is a long post. Thank you for reading and I would appreciate any advice and help you may have. I guess in some way, my object is to save her from his noxious presence in any way I can. Perhaps it is not possible, perhaps it is none of my business and I am merely hungover from what we had together. Peace and love.

 

[angelatlantis14]

Hi Traggamount,

Hex 44 is not really a "bad" hex in my mind, but it clearly tells you that there are factors at play here that are too strong to overcome. At least that is what I received when I was asking about a doomed relationship - and it turned out to be fully true. I think it means something like, don't feel bad about yourself, there are such strong obstacles here that they cannot be overcome by now. It is not in your power, and not your fault.

Underlining this is the line 1 of Hex 14 which says
"No relationship with what is harmful;
There is no blame in this.
If one remains conscious of difficulty,
One remains without blame."

So in the light of what you have written, I think that is a clear message - don't get up in the drama of this persons other relationship, which may or may not be harmful... but there is nothing there for you to gain.

Line 5 of Hex 14 seems to say that you need to build boundaries between yourself and your former partner. Wilhelsm take is:

"People are being won not by coercion but by
unaffected sincerity, so that they are attached to us in sincerity and truth.
However, benevolence alone is not sufficient at the time of POSSESSION IN
GREAT MEASURE. For insolence might begin to spread. Insolence must be
kept in bounds by dignity; then good fortune is assured."

So be true to yourself, and don't let people who are only half-true take away that...

All in all, I'd take the reading to mean that you better stay away from this person, at least until she gives you something more real and honest than now.

best wishes

maui