24>15

[becalm]

I've become friends with a woman but she's a bit full on sometimes. We have a fun time together but I'm feeling less inclined to spend time with her. She's asked me to travel with her and contacts me a few times a week but for me I think I want to move on.

How would it impact her if I let go of the friendship
Hex 24.1.3>15

It looks like it's a Tutning Point of some kind. Like she accepts the end of the friendship but still may try to continue it as well.

 

[HarryK]

Like she accepts the end of the friendship but still may try to continue it as well.

Agree! I also can see yourself in this in 'sometimes' accepting her presence.

 

[Trojina]

I've become friends with a woman but she's a bit full on sometimes. We have a fun time together but I'm feeling less inclined to spend time with her. She's asked me to travel with her and contacts me a few times a week but for me I think I want to move on.

How would it impact her if I let go of the friendship
Hex 24.1.3>15

It looks like it's a Tutning Point of some kind. Like she accepts the end of the friendship but still may try to continue it as well.

Interesting that the change patterns are 36 and 6, this is about hurt, that's what bought you to ask, the possibility of injury for her but also perhaps the fact you feel you can't really be you in her presence which makes her company a bit wearing (36 yang pattern) and leads to a push/pull frame of mind, wanting but not wanting her company (yin pattern 6)

I think if she's been contacting you a few times a week it will be hard on her to be dropped by you, that's only natural and it's unavoidable I'd think. That's me not the reading.


The reading seems to favour you going back into what is comfortable for you (24.1). It's fine to let the friendship go if that's what you want. Most often I find 24.1 shows there's not much a mistake or deviation to return from. Maybe she won't mind too much. I guess it depends a lot on how you break with her. 24.3 suggest to me you won't fully break with her, or you will vacillate over whether to fully break or not.

It's a nice unworrying answer IMO. 15 is pragmatic, doing what is honest and straight forward for you.


The trouble is when friends break up there's not the talking that there is when couples break up. We don't have the language or the culture whereby it's easy to talk to a friend about ending the friendship. This can be really really hard on the one who is rejected because they don't know why and it can injure trust and self esteem, 'oh I thought we were friends but we're not/you don't like me now/you just dumped me'.


But perhaps it won't be too hard. Your question asks about impact on her and if it's about her it would seem she returns to her own equilibrium quite soon but she finds it hard to give up your connection altogether (24.3). I can't help but see it as advice to you because I tend to think answers are for you and you can't read her reaction ahead of time. If you could I'd say she's not that bothered, she's pragmatic (15) she won't necessarily take it too personally.


But I shouldn't guess about what another will feel. Maybe you could find an explanation that won't upset her too much, an excuse ? Or would you rather tell her the truth ? Or would you ghost her ? Ghosting feels bad doesn't it so how would end this ?

 

[my_key]

How would it impact her if I let go of the friendship
Hex 24.1.3>15

24 meaning 'the way is reversing'
15 meaning 'becoming agile'

Nuclear of 24 - Hex 2

The challenge for your friend is whether she can cope with everything alone. Is her character strong enough? (2). This will drive her behaviours to keep things as they are. You are in a relationship with her where there is an imbalance for you both. Both are looking for a more fulfilling relationship (15). However what she is looking for you cannot give. Things are changing for her, as they are for you, but all the roads are closing and you are unable to negotiate a better relationship with each other at the moment (24).
There is nowhere to go and nothing to be done about it.

24.1 - Deep down she can read the signs of your change towards the relationship. Her deep rooted fears / insecurities are returning as a result. However you do not need to do anything or feel any regrets. This has nothing to do with you.

24.3 - She will try to fight for the relationship to stay as it is. Her fears / insecurities make her think she could not cope alone and although it may be difficult for her she will surprise herself when she eventually accepts the challenge.

...or it may be nothing like this at all.

Good Luck

 

[becalm]

Interesting that the change patterns are 36 and 6, this is about hurt, that's what bought you to ask, the possibility of injury for her but also perhaps the fact you feel you can't really be you in her presence which makes her company a bit wearing (36 yang pattern) and leads to a push/pull frame of mind, wanting but not wanting her company (yin pattern 6)

This is definitely a big part of it. What's best for me and how much of a loss or gain would it be for my equilibrium.
I probably would use the reason/season if I decide to end the friendship because that's what I believe it is with people we meet.

 

[becalm]

24 meaning 'the way is reversing'
15 meaning 'becoming agile'

Nuclear of 24 - Hex 2

The challenge for your friend is whether she can cope with everything alone. Is her character strong enough? (2). This will drive her behaviours to keep things as they are. You are in a relationship with her where there is an imbalance for you both. Both are looking for a more fulfilling relationship (15). However what she is looking for you cannot give. Things are changing for her, as they are for you, but all the roads are closing and you are unable to negotiate a better relationship with each other at the moment (24).
There is nowhere to go and nothing to be done about it.

This is true ...her demands are higher than my capacity to give.

 

[becalm]

The more I think about this reading the more I think it's about the impact it may have on me and her.