24.3.6- 22

[wind]

Good afternoon.

I asked "Show me an image of me and X" and got a very literal answer. Probably the most direct answer I ever got.

My ex husband has shown a very wishy- washy effort of wanting to come back. I know it's not right for anyone involved and I also know it's not for the right reasons. He's in financial ruin and rightfully so for taking a bunch of vacations with his little slut muffin that he couldn't afford. It's not like he ever did those things with me or the kids. He's losing his house that he drained his annuity to put the down payment on. I see this reading as follows:

24.3- the urgent situation forces a return.

24.6- failure causes the return and is the result of making a huge mistake.

22- this is done for appearance sake, but it's not about what matters.

Couldn't be more direct or right to the point. If anyone sees this differently, I am open to your enlightenment :bows:

 

[Tim K]

I feel some judgement from you here Wind. Are you glad that he made a mistake?
So I don't agree with your interpretation.

24.3 just says that he tried to return many times, and/or are you keep thinking about him?
24.3 → 36 (Darkening), Crowley: Return, return; and go no more astray!
Daniels: You are finding it hard to make up your mind.
I don't know who exactly is trying to return here.

24.6 If this goes on - nothing good will come out of it. So advice is to stop this now.
36.6 says the same.

Let this 'dark time'[36] go away, and simplicity and 'white clothes'[22] will come.

 

[Trojina]

Well Wind would have to be a saint if she had no judgement surely. He left her and her kids to go off with another woman, used up money on this woman taking her on vacation (but not doing the same for his kids) and now he is in financial trouble he is returning and seems to want to get back with Wind. I think it would be nigh on impossible for any woman not to have a judgement about this ?

I asked "Show me an image of me and X" and got a very literal answer. Probably the most direct answer I ever got.

My ex husband has shown a very wishy- washy effort of wanting to come back. I know it's not right for anyone involved and I also know it's not for the right reasons. He's in financial ruin and rightfully so for taking a bunch of vacations with his little slut muffin that he couldn't afford. It's not like he ever did those things with me or the kids. He's losing his house that he drained his annuity to put the down payment on. I see this reading as follows:

24.3- the urgent situation forces a return.

24.6- failure causes the return and is the result of making a huge mistake.

22- this is done for appearance sake, but it's not about what matters.

Couldn't be more direct or right to the point. If anyone sees this differently

,

24.6 says trying to rebuild or recapture what was there before would lead to serious consequences. It's too late for him to try to get back what he had with you. 24.3 shows vacillation but at least in 24.3 return is still possible. In 24.6 it isn't.

Is there any part of you that would like him back ? To me it certainly looks too late for him and for you. You can't turn back time in 24.6. However if you take the advice of 24.3, or he did and you really wanted it, well what do you think ?

I suspect as with many in this situation a part of you might like to go back to how it was ? That's only natural, our hearts don't always make sense. If that is so I hope you can but it doesn't look like it would work does it ?

I'm interested to hear Liss's take on this as I think she has been through a similar situation. I wonder what Liss would do if her ex came crawling back ?

I'm not sure about the 22. I feel it's probably referring to the façade of it. What kind of relationship would you like with him now ?

Looking back you asked for an image of you and X and I have departed from the question somewhat. I have a habit of doing that. But yes I agree with your take...but I also see it referring to him trying to get back what he lost with you in 24.6.

 

[goddessliss]

Interesting Trojina that you mention me because yes you're right this did happen to me and I understand that at first, particularly if you still love him, it's hard not to desire everything returns to what it once was but in reality thats never going to happen because he cannot take back what he did.
One of the things that's different here though is I never, ever once blamed the 'other woman' for his behaviour and never called her names because the truth is she didn't do the wrong thing here - he did. He made his choice/s because if it wasn't her it would have been another woman.
Perhaps she saw his vulnerability and took advantage of it but that's another story and has nothing to do with your marriage breakup.

It's close to 7 years now since this happened to me and whilst it's had it's difficulties and I grieved for a long time there is absolutely no way I would take him back nor be involved with anyone like him. At the time of him leaving etc. I said I wish to have nothing to do with him at all and thanks to mobiles and the kids being old enough to communicate with him themselves I've had one very short conversation with him in all these years which was relative to a child support issue. But that's it and I don't regret it.
About 12 months ago I had every opportunity to, at the very least talk to him, and perhaps reestablish some sort of communication but I consciously chose not to and because he didn't reach out it was easy.

The kids struggled a little bit with our lack of any sort of relationship but now they're happy about it and can understand that there's no need for us to be part of each others lives now we are no longer married.

 

[wind]

Hmm... Some good questions there Trojina. Of course a part of me will always love him. I spent half my life with him and we have children together. I would have considered trying to work things out but you're right- things would never be the same, even though I wouldn't want them to be anyhow. I feel he has dragged his feet in the mud about wanting to work things out and that just shows that his reasons are all wrong- maybe mine are too.

By no means am I happy, pleased or joyed over the position he is in right now. I will say I feel pity and that I think it's a terrible shame to have flushed his entire life down the toilet for a real pig of a woman. I would truly be happy for him if he could find something good in his life. I have a very good relationship with him. I prefer it stays this way and he is able to have the best possible relationship with the kids. Things have greatly improved in that respect.

Liss, I agree with you on not being her doing. It wasn't just her, but another woman as well. And he sought them out. The other woman came to me and we talked about it. She was truly sorry and I felt she was looking for forgiveness from me. I gave it to her, but felt she needed to forgive herself for cheating on her husband and child.

This one- whom has never been married or has children- has had plenty of stuff to say about my children and flat out told me that she is using him for the money and thinks nothing of "snaking it out" from my kids. She even had the gall to speak poorly of me to my kids the one time she met them and was drunk. So please don't take my reaction as being bitter or unjust. I have good reason to see her as I do... Apparently he did too or they would still be together otherwise.

 

[goddessliss]

Fair enough re your feelings towards woman no 2. The woman involved in my husbands departure caused me so much grief although I've never met her or spoken to her but she got hold of my mobile no and sent me all sorts of awful things and also tried to get to me through my youngest son but still I refused to retaliate on a personal level as I knew that's exactly what she wanted. I called the police on her more than once for her harassment and she also threatened me....I found that was the best and only way to deal with her awfulness.
Good luck and good on you for maintaining a civil relationship with him.

 

[wind]

My god... What a nightmare, Liss! I guess the lesson here is there are all sorts out there. I actually felt the bile rise from my stomach when you said she tried to get to you through your son. I can take the high road in any game that wants to be played against me, but it's a different ballgame when my kids are involved.

I took some to think about why I asked this inquiry to begin with- meditated on it for quite a while.

For myself, I feel this has all gone full circle with me and him. I have found peace with him and the situation over all. That's more than I really could have hoped for. My parents had a horrible divorce and even worse post divorce relationship, to a point that one would refuse to be there for us kids if the other was going to show up. I never want to have that sort of relationship with anyone ever and I know how I felt when they'd pull that. I don't want the kids to feel like they can't have us both.

I have been mulling this over since May and both of us have been nothing but good about it all. We talk to each other quite a bit and we have dinner as a family every other Friday when he picks them up- it's all been fine and there is no awkwardness at all. I think this reading has confirmed for me what I've really been feeling all along- Things are good between us the way we are now. Anything more is beating a dead horse. I don't need to put any last ditch efforts into trying to further it. I have a lovely man that is very interested in me and I do like him, but I wanted to put this to rest before starting something new. It wouldn't be fair to him or me if I didn't.