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26,3,5 to 61

U

usilser

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Hi, I need your precious help as I am so sad and I don't know what to do.

I had an argument with my partner. I am dreaming a stable future with him (a family, I love him so much), I am not sure that he is dreaming the same thing. I would say he doesn't know what he wants.
I asked help from iching:
R makes me feel so sad, please help me:
Hexagram 26 with lines 3 and 5 to hexagram 61
I think the advice is that I have to control myself.
Line 3 We follow each other but I should be very careful.
Line 5 I should control my wild power towards him
61 Inner truth. Something like, listen to your heart?

Please, I really need your help!
 

Trojina

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I had an argument with my partner. I am dreaming a stable future with him (a family, I love him so much), I am not sure that he is dreaming the same thing. I would say he doesn't know what he wants.
I asked help from iching:
R makes me feel so sad, please help me:
Hexagram 26 with lines 3 and 5 to hexagram 61
I think the advice is that I have to control myself.
Line 3 We follow each other but I should be very careful.
Line 5 I should control my wild power towards him
61 Inner truth. Something like, listen to your heart?


Just a quick reply before I head out into the sun :)


Love the question. You just put your feelings before Yi and asked for help. I often do that and get lovely answers.

Here I think you are being encouraged to think of this as something that needs work, time, cultivation. I guess the answer must be about the relationship itself. 26 is the taming of great beasts so there is huge potential and it is held in check for it's cultivation and development.

A powerful animal has much strength but that strength is no use to us unless it can be harnessed. Taming an animal takes time and patience. 26 is also to do with that all that which is already stored as potential for use. That might be knowledge or love and devotion or - well it depends on the question really but here I think you are being asked to keep a positive attitude towards this even through hard times.

61 is where one can feel the most intensity of what is true for oneself so I'd think here 61 is your own intensity of sincere devotion to him. But your own passion and certainty that this is the right thing for you both is not enough by itself - 26 shows there is also the hard work of the relationship.


But no cause for sadness here but for energy, for working on things, for making things work. I find line 3 a very active line where often it feels Yi is directing you away from sadness and more to what needs doing here. You have something of great value here, a fine horse and the line says to practise chariot driving, defence, protecting - (see Hilary's translation) so this is definitely not time to hide and weep but to keep up the work every single day of what this relationship requires of you. This is likely going to require both of you to work quite hard but it's good, for a purpose.


Line 5 shows that your passion becomes harnessed and ready/fitted for relationship.


So I think it is a hopeful reading and I think you both will surely be talking about this together soon ?


I cannot promise all will be right in the end because I don't know of course - but you asked Yi for help in how you are feeling now and Yi has answered by acknowledging the truth of your deep sincerity and passion for this man (61) and also says this very passion and sincerity is something for you to work on, to train,(26) to make useful - whether that is to do with controlling your own emotions enough that this thing has time to grow into what it could be or whether this is work you both need to do together I'm not sure.


Perhaps if you read the line aloud you can connect how such training and such care might apply to the strong inner truth you have about this (61).


Note - in 61 one's own truth, one's own inner experience, looms very large - as opposed to 62 where one's own truth seems very small. One danger of this is one can think this is all there is - not noticing realities beyond yours. But I think you have the antidote to that danger in 26 here. You have to cultivate and train your emotions/the relationship/the experience of the relationship - work to do together perhaps when next you speak ? :)
 
U

usilser

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Trojina thank you so much for taking the time to answer me. You help me a lot!
Yes, there is great potential between us for a long lasting relationship and this is what I want, but sometimes I feel he makes plans for the future without thinking me.

keep a positive attitude towards this even through hard times.
This is what he wants from me to be positive.

I find line 3 a very active line where often it feels Yi is directing you away from sadness and more to what needs doing here. You have something of great value here, a fine horse and the line says to practise chariot driving, defence, protecting - (see Hilary's translation) so this is definitely not time to hide and weep but to keep up the work every single day of what this relationship requires of you.
Great point I haven't thought this way about that line. So we have something special and I must do a lot of work to succeed!

Line 5 shows that your passion becomes harnessed and ready/fitted for relationship.

Yes, I believe that all depend to my passion or my behavior let's say.

He is a very difficult person to control (the great beast that I must domesticate) and that's the reason I love him so much I think.
Also, Is this the answer how to control a great beast like him?
 

Trojina

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Also, Is this the answer how to control a great beast like him?


Not quite sure what you mean ? You mean is he the great beast to harness and control ? :mischief:

Well I doubt he would see it that way ;) and also of course trying to change other people is pretty much a losing game, as you said you love him for the fact he is a great beast so you wouldn't want to tame that out of him.

My sense is the great beast is the relationship itself full of power and potential but needing you both to take the reins so to speak.


He has to do as much work as you do to make things work, you have to have the will together to make a go of it. My sense of the answer is that you can because the drive is there.
 
U

usilser

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We speak about our future of our relationship from yesterday.. I am trying to create a beautiful future for us... He doesn't seem to be so sure about what he wants, I think he gives me mixed signals. A lot of work to do and I am afraid of every step I take..
 
U

usilser

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I received one more interesting answer from Iching.
I asked help for one more time: What should I do with him? He has confused me!
38 line 1 to 64
It's interesting that there is a horse for one more time that I shouldn't chase it as it will come back on its own accord and also I should guard myself against mistakes.

I would say that I should stop being sad and talking about the future of our relationship.
 

Trojina

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We speak about our future of our relationship from yesterday.. I am trying to create a beautiful future for us... He doesn't seem to be so sure about what he wants, I think he gives me mixed signals. A lot of work to do and I am afraid of every step I take..

It might be your own work of building a strong emotional base in a relationship for yourself. If he cannot decide what he wants then ultimately you have the power to say 'I can't waste more time with you I know what I need from someone and if you cannot provide it I sadly must go elsewhere'. It takes a lot of courage to say that.

38.1 says you don't need to chase the runaway horse let it come back by itself. Realize your strength in the relationship. As much as you love him you also must love yourself and his options aren't endlessly open. Well 64 can feel endlessly open - and here I think Yi is suggesting you let him come back to you, don't pursue him.
 
U

usilser

Guest
I would say that what I am feeling right now is temporary between us.
I am so impressed with iching for one more time.
I continued the discussion with it and I said: I am so fearful that our relationship will breakdown.

hexagram 51, line 1 to 16

The answer puts a smile on my face.
Indeed, all this situation between me and my partner makes me feel
apprehensive and I see a danger but this bad feeling is going to end soon. I wish!
 

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