3.1.4>45 -- What approach should I take

[marciella]

I am not talking to my (once) best friend from my office right now. We had an awkward discussion in March-- it was not a big discussion and it was not an important topic even- and we didn't talk since. She saw me once on the corridor and didn't say hi. And wished her happy birthday and she said thank you and that was it. Almost 8 months and no contact. I don't really understand the situation but I am disappointed and pissed at her. Because it is getting awkwarder every day. And no I didn't ask her beacuse I hate confrontations. Instead I asked I ching. "What approach should I take in this relationship?"

So I should wait a little and seek someone elses' help? Any ideas to interpret?

Thanks!

 

[rosada]

You're confused (#3) as to why you're not friends but you're hesitant to initiate a conversation as she just might be more abusive and so you feel you should stay on your guard (#45, concealed weapons). I think a friendly nod in the hallway and a birthday greeting is in keeping with 3.4 and is going far enough. The ball is in her court and if she doesn't want to resume the close relationship you have to honor that. Perhaps the I Ching is advising that until she shows signs of interest you should think of this person as simply being one of the group at work. Are there ever situations where you and she and other employees have reason to be talking in a group together? Perhaps when it is a group situation you would have an opportunity to say something that would strengthen friendly ties like, "Well I think Jane just made a very helpful suggestion.."
Good luck!

 

[Matali]

My hypothesis for 3.1.4 - 45 : the lines show indeed hesitations and obstacles, but Line 2 "Horse and carriage separate. Continue the union. Going brings fortune. Everything works in a advantageous way" suggests that it is in your best interest to reconcile... In my opinion, it is clear and it will succeed And as Rosada says, take advantage of the opportunity to be in a group with your colleagues, friendly...

 

[marciella]

Thank you very much for your answers. As usual, Rosadas clear reasoning makes sense. I am very hesitant, even afraid of her reaction and of being clingy. I found out she is bullying some people at work too. And she has been manipulating a lot. But still we were good friends.

Line 2 "Horse and carriage separate. Continue the union. Going brings fortune. Everything works in a advantageous way" suggests that it is in your best interest to reconcile...

Matali, thanks a lot for your input. It is very interesting. I am not really good at reading I ching so I need to ask: I don't have line 2 in my reading-- it is not one of the changing lines. Is it still part of my interpretation?

 

[rosada]

I think she meant line 3.4.

 

[Matali]

Matali, thanks a lot for your input. It is very interesting. I am not really good at reading I ching so I need to ask: I don't have line 2 in my reading-- it is not one of the changing lines. Is it still part of my interpretation?

Yes I was wrong it's line 4 but it's the same text ...
One of the great ideas of hexagram 3 is "It is advantageous to hire auxiliaries" (Judgment). And it will work if you persevere ...

 

[marciella]

I really love when posts get updated so I wanted to give an update on this one. After one and a half year of not speaking to each other, I met my colleague at a friends wedding. She approached me and said hi, and I asked her why he never called me. She was super friendly, she said she misses me a lot and she was very upset that I stopped speaking to her. To the best of my knowledge it was her who stopped talking. When I told her my perspective she said "well actually it makes sense too...".

So both rosadas and Matali's views were on point! It made sense to wait for her to approach. And perseverance was the key.

Although I am not sure if I want to go back to being friends with that person, we definitely addressed the problem and it makes me feel so much better.