3.1.5 > 2 ; Relationship

[Elusive]

Hello everyone in this forum, I'm in a complicated situation with a guy, because of some situation we have to stop our contact to re-evaluate ourselves and prevent things from being even more complicated. I have been telling myself not to think of him but it's just so hard. Although i do not see any possibilities of us being together due to difference in age and country, but i still couldn't help wanting this relationship. All along I've never thought of being in a long distance relationship, because of how much i needed the physical presence. 3.1.5 to 2 was given by iching as a response to my question: How will things progress from now on between us?

I know it is not wise to ask about the feelings of others, but I just couldn't help feeling curious, how he feels about this stop of contact? 19.2.3 to 39 ; Nearing to brightness hidden.

Greatly appreciate help to decipher these answers from Yi, thanks pals.

 

[diamanda]

Hi Elusive,

How will things progress from now on between us? 3.1.5 > 2

3.1 shows a really bad blockage between you.
3.5 describes very very little communication.
And 2 is a bit of an empty result :-/

The hidden line here, which I always find very interesting and illuminating, is 8.5. It describes a man who 'possesses' lots of women, he doesn't have to chase as they chase after him really. So he accepts those who go after him, but doesn't really have to put in much effort.

how he feels about this stop of contact? 19.2.3 > 39

19.2 says it was totally mutual in the beginning, he felt what you felt.
19.3 shows a change of heart though, one of the two regrets having done the sweet stuff.
39 shows blockage, he feels the situation is lame.

Very sorry to say it's not looking that great...
But, saying that, the hope I can see is that if you go after him, you still might get something? Just a thought.

 

[Elusive]

Thanks Diamanda for the response, I initially was worried the answers might be off because of the state of mind I was in when i asked the question, but I'm surprised that the answers matched the situation well. He is indeed popular with girls, the blockage I think would refer to the situation we are both in, I would describe us as two people in trouble coming together, he had trouble chasing a girl, and I had trouble with another too. Because of the vulnerable state we were in, it was easy to gain interest in each other. We had to stop our contact for a week because we are both agreed we would end up liking each other more if we continued to talk more.

In the end we did not stop contact for a week because during the first night, he contacted me and told me he kept thinking of me and was worried that I'd feel sad. 19.3 is very true, he told me he kept thinking and couldn't help feeling bad for what he's doing.

The little communication actually started today, Iching gave me 13.4.5 as a response to why is he different today? The title Harmony and Beauty made me think that he might have shifted his focus back to the girl he was chasing thus the change.

I also asked what is the best I can do in this situation? 50.2.4 to 52
What does this answer mean?

 

[diamanda]

why is he different today? 13.4.5 > 22
He's just looking, he's not going to try and conquer you. He feels he might get some benefit out of you one day. He's being polite and good-mannered.

what is the best I can do in this situation? 50.2.4 > 52
50.2 says that there could have been something lovely between you (even if there's a third party involved), but he has totally messed it up (50.4). 52 says stand firm, don't shift (even if you're not feeling happy). You know what you want, and you know how to get it, so stand rock-solid by your aims, and don't let his blurry half-excuses confuse you.

Think about it, he told you to stop contact because "you might end up liking each other" - how on earth is that a problem? Then he initiated contact because "you" might be sad. Then all of a sudden he feels bad for what he's doing... (why? what's there to feel bad about?). This is a whole load of (such and such). He's playing mind-games. He messed it all up. Stand firm and remember what you're truly after.

 

[Elusive]

Hi Diamanda, thankful for the guidance you've provided me.

I think my explanations weren't clear which painted him in quite a bad light. He said and did all those because I'm still entangled with my ex-boyfriend, we broke up recently and they two know each other also. He felt bad for this and he is someone who thinks a lot. After saying our interests to each other and talking about the problems on the line, in the middle of the night he texted me and say he wants to continue contacting me, but fifteen minutes later he decided to stop the contact for a week because he couldn't stop feeling bad.

By saying all these does the interpretations still remain? Because I feel like the one who messed up the whole thing by still being entangled in my previous relationship. I didn't have a clean break and went on to like another.

Through time I felt more distant away from him despite us still talking, deep inside I still want to keep this friendship even if we may not end up together. I asked how should I improve this situation? 59.2 to 20

What the support in line 2 refers to?

 

[diamanda]

He said and did all those because I'm still entangled with my ex-boyfriend, we broke up recently and they two know each other also. He felt bad for this

Ok since you're totally certain that it was you who messed things up, then my answer would change thus:

what is the best I can do in this situation? 50.2.4 > 52
50.2 says that there could have been something lovely between you (even if there's a third party involved), but you have totally messed it up (50.4). 52 says stand firm, don't shift (even if you're not feeling happy). You know what you want, and you know how to get it, so stand rock-solid by your aims, and don't let your own blurry half-excuses confuse you.

In short, try to correct the mistake and stabilise the situation.

Through time I felt more distant away from him despite us still talking, deep inside I still want to keep this friendship even if we may not end up together. I asked how should I improve this situation? 59.2 > 20
The answer says to seek the support of someone you trust, and think.

 

[Elusive]

Thanks Diamanda for always taking time to help us out, I'm very grateful. Till today things hasn't been going well. sometimes I feel like giving up. It's very hard to stay still in the midst of this. I'm a very receptive person, so when he's acting cold I'll be cold as well. At times I wanted to just end the conversations because I couldn't take the hot and cold treatment.

Past few days I have been trying to get a clearer picture of us through I-ching. Hex 52 and Hex 39 are the ones that came up quite often. It really feel that there is indeed some sort of obstacle between us which I could not get a hold of.

I asking Iching to give me a clearer image of our relationship. 37.1.6 > 39
Defined roles?

I wanted to know what is the obstacle that is present between us, 5.1.2.3.5 > 2
Waiting with 4 changing lines.

Sorry for so many questions asked in one thread, I feel that I really needed to know the answer to this.

 

[diamanda]

I'm a very receptive person, so when he's acting cold I'll be cold as well. At times I wanted to just end the conversations because I couldn't take the hot and cold treatment.

See, this is why I said initially that it's him who messed it up. You definitely sound as though you have, and still are trying to be together with him, but it's him who is not responding. To me it definitely sounds like it's he who messes this up, not you. Anyway!

a clearer image of our relationship. 37.1.6 > 39
Here's the blockage again. "Something familiar which is defective and difficult"...?

I wanted to know what is the obstacle that is present between us, 5.1.2.3.5 > 2
That the waiting is too long and painful, and at the end of waiting there's emptiness.
So the obstacle is that there shouldn't be any waiting, as it's leading to nothing.
Maybe this means stop just waiting and act instead.

 

[Elusive]

Hi Diamanda, thanks! Yes, the wait is really painful, everyday I've been thinking a lot and I decided to stop all these because it is really leading to nowhere. I'm planning to tell him tonight of what I've been feeling all along and suggest we stop contact for the moment. I need time to get out of all these feelings within me :/

I asked Iching how would I feel after telling him all those? 51.1 to 16.
I guess after picking the courage to tell him, I'd first experience shock(?) and then feel happier.

What will happen after I tell him that? 17 unchanging.
I'm not really sure what this means but I guess things will be better off that way.

Appreciate all the help you've given so far, thanks!

 

[long yi]

Tai Shing and Xiao Shing Iching analysis + Tarot embedded info

The big picture; Hexagram 29 (transformed hexagram) is a six strike hexagram. For relationship analysis, it is normally a “no go”

The pair of hexagram 3.1.5 to 29 evolves into 9 hexagrams in the Xiao Shing Iching map.
Your answer is in the house of 3 (single female inquiring relationship); hexagram 24. The unfortunate part is that the kun earth trigram sits inside the house of 3 zhen wood. The man has not appeared, it is empty and hollow. The Chi point towards each other, there is an intent to come together from both sides.

To extend this picture into the future, it is hexagram 23 (splitting apart). This is the final outcome. Upper trigram is ken (mountain), Lower trigram is kun (land). It is boring and unmovable. The Chi is now moving away from each other. You both turned your back.

Under Tai Shing Iching, hexagram 3 is only good for second time marriage, not first time romance.

The change line 3.1 is brother zi water to officer wei earth. Wei earth is under the month of chou earth (time of your reading): the house of marriage. It is month conflict (chou and wei conflict), therefore, status quo does not dictate any positive before Feb 5 2018.

The second issue is brother changes to officer. Brother zi water is coupled to the month wei earth. It restraints any action even when the brother is not logical and rushes to do things. The officer line at 2.1 is logical, careful and thorough. This situation implies conflicts and dispute. It does not have to be in the open.

The hex 3.5 is officer xu earth changes into brother hai water with the movement star. Brother character is gone. Office is logical and brother is not logical. There is an internal difference in the situation, meaning resistance and obstacle. Brother moves on.

The third clear issue is line 2 (hex 3) child line xin wood as host line. This is not the proper situation. Child is your soul and your happiness. Yin wood is month void and day void. This means your house of marriage, house of spouse embedded a hollow element of your happiness and soul. You cannot find the bottom of the situation (your heart).

If you go with your head, now you look at the hexagram 2. It is hollow and lacks substance, but there is two officer line at line 1 & 4 and one female line at line 2, with the relationship line at line 6 you metal.

After Feb 5 2018, it will be yin wood month. You will be slowly over with your concerns that what is not yours is not yours, and there are other options.

If you know Tarot cards, hexagram 2 embeds Ace of sword. The male plays by the book. It is only time for fun and not serious relationship. He will not explore the bounds of forbidden behavior even when there is such opportunity with the female.

This site cannot accept Chinese character. The six yao map and xiao shing map cannot be shown here for reference. I do not translate the iching map because it is time consuming.

You will feel better after Feb 5 and into the next 60 days.

 

[Elusive]

An update:

At night i kept contemplating whether to tell him or not, and things got harder because he gave me a gift that night, but end up i still told him what I wanted to say, he said he understand and apologized, he told me he wants to talk to me alot but he can't. I'm not sure why he said he can't, I didn't ask further because I wanted to stay determined. We had a sort of happy ending, he asked me to let him know immediately once I feel ok, we ended the conversation with lots of stickers hahaha. During that moment I felt a huge weight off my shoulder and relieved that we ended this complicated thing on good terms. Even though a day later which was yesterday, I kept thinking back about the good times :/

Thanks Long Yi for the detailed analysis! Yes now is the time the future that was predicted happened :/ And until now I still don't really know why things became like this, I can feel so many things that is preventing progress, maybe like you've said it is only time for fun, things cannot be brought further. I'm confused though, who is the officer and who is the brother that was mentioned?

 

[Elusive]

Last night I talked to him after 2 days, I finally know about the obstacle that was between us, his parents don't allow him to date someone who is older than he is (I'm 5 years older). He told me he felt sad when I told him I don't see a future between us (I'm surprised he still remember clearly everything that I've said before), but he also agreed to that because we can't date. I also understood why he said he wants to talk a lot to me but he can't, he doesn't want to hold me back for something that won't happen. It seems that I really misunderstood him :/

I asked Iching how he feels for me? 17.6 to 25.
Following to innocence, I guess he really do have feelings for me?

What will happen in the near future between us? 44.5 to 50.
I've always read bad things about hex 44 in regards to relationship in this forum, but line 5 seems positive. I saw one explanation of this line "there is still something that will unfold that you are unaware of, and this something is auspicious", is this the case for my question also?

 

[equinox]

Your result 17.6 in connection with 44.5 makes me think that he could change his mind.
17.6 in context of your question is indicating that he can't let you go.
44.5 is speaking of cognition as a result of a maturing process.
It is not easy to get rid of the impact of the implicit and explicit rules our parents imposed on us, but we finally have to do it. At least, if they are senseless like the rule not to date a five years older woman. So maybe he needs some more time to mature.
And if he can't stand by you eventually, then he is definetely not the right man for you anyways and therefore no real loss, no matter how much you like him and how sad it appears to be right now.

P.S: Either way it was the right decision to set boundaries and not to allow him to give you the hot&cold treatment any longer. It is the only way to make him finding out what he wants -- and even more important -- the best way for you to pay respect to yourself here.

P.P.S: I read now, very late, sorry, that he is from another country. Possibly a very conservative country where traditional values are held up firmly, I guess? Still, since he is a man, he should still have a certain freedom regarding his partner choice, or not?

 

[Elusive]

Hi Equinox thanks for the help! Before that i mostly received negative answers from Iching regarding us, esp hex 39, but recently the answers I receive are quite positive! Yes he is from Indonesia and I think family approval is very important there :/ I think at his age it's still quite hard to not follow. However he now treats me well and we even chatted on the phone for more than 3 hrs after we resumed contact despite him feeling tired. The future is really a question mark, now I will just enjoy the moment and hope everything will go well, appreciate all the help given to me so far, thankful!

 

[Elusive]

Hi everyone, just an update. We did not get closer but just grew more distant from each other. I did not try anymore also, I have gotten over him alr as someone else shifted my attention. Part of the reason is also because I've heard things about him from my friends and even have screenshots of things he said to them. I was kind of shocked when I found out though but also glad because it gave me a firmer decision to move on.
"He feels he might get some benefit out of you one day." This is very true to this situation.

"After Feb 5 2018, it will be yin wood month. You will be slowly over with your concerns that what is not yours is not yours, and there are other options." This is particularly true also.

Thanks everyone!