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3 readings on a weird romantic situation hex 38 - 30 - 51 UC

F

FreeBirdTravelling

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Hello IChing community,

I'm writing this thread for a friend who doesn't speak English at all...

It is about a complicated "romantic" situation that has abruptly stopped and now my friend is a bit sad from time to time.

We sat down today and did 3 consecutive readings regarding her love life, to reflect upon this.

Situation is as following: my friend, a pretty, self confident, independent woman (33 y.o.) and single, decided a while ago to test the waters in the online romance world, posting an ad on some web page, seeking for company and whatever nice could come along.

Among the many replies, one that caught her attention was of a younger guy (27 y.o.) who was very articulate. He also described himself as driven, mature and sincere. They exchanged Viber numbers, started chatting and in the end they had two dates and then he vanished from the face of the earth.

What happened in the dates: 1st date he told her right away that he's sexually attracted to her and he would like to get laid with her, he isn't interested to have a relationship and he hasn't intended to have a relationship so far, only random sexual encounters (plus he told her he's into BDSM!!!) Plus he paid too much attention into the fact she's older than him bc he likes older women. Anyways after that first shock they seemed to have an amazing chemistry and before the second date he told her that if by any case she doesn't want to get to know him anymore, that would be okay for him and that he appreciates her, she's interesting and different etc. He told her they should take the sexual thing slow and that he's in full control of his emotions and desires all the time.

2nd date, as the first it lasted more than 5 hours and he seemed more emotionally interested in her and also angry with himself with this because yet again he mentioned not wanting any relationship ever. Otherwise he seemed very emotional and afraid of his own emotions. On the other hand, he told her that he has never slept with a girl at her place, only at his (red flag for me, but I guess it's my friend's choice) *my friend didn't ever mentioned a relationship, being the independent person she is, but she got angry with that restriction, too*

Back to today: It has passed one week since the second date and there is radio silence from both sides. When my friend returned from their 2nd date, we had a chat and she told me she is not going to initiate any contact again, as her intuition says it's up to him now to act. 2 days later she logged in Viber and deleted her part of their discussion for both of the participants (something that is ofc visible for the other party) and she also deleted his sms from her phone, told me she's afraid of her feelings and doesn't want to become vulnerable and tempted to message him. Also mentioned she's an egoist and won't move an inch. The guy himself has completely vanished.

Now before we cast the Oracle, my friend mentioned to me that this guy is probably commitment phobic, a toy boy of much older women and me myself looking at his photo that he sent her, I see a young man of great looks...but he looks scary, like a predator, a werewolf...I don't know how better to describe him!

To the castings: Question 1 - dear Oracle, my main concern is that I want to be mutually in love with someone and I can't find this special someone. Any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated. She got hex 38 UC

Question 2 - I don't talk to him bc I'm an egoist, he doesn't talk to me either for reasons I don't know, is there a solution for this so we can get together or shall I forget everything and just move on? She got hex 30 UC

Question 3 - What does he want from me? She got hex 51 UC

What my friend thinks of the whole situation: She thinks she's doing the right thing not messaging him (I would have messaged a simple "hi, how, you're doing f.e.), he disappeared for being a chickenshit not being able to handle his emotions and that she represents light and not darkness as he does (my friend is a friendly, out-going person and we hang out together bc we are both self-made and very ambitious)

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, sorry for the long post and please no sarcastic comments as I will have to translate your thoughts on those 3 hex's for my friend.
 

moss elk

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Any advice would be greatly appreciated, sorry for the long post... I will have to translate your thoughts on those 3 hex's for my friend.

38? she should remain true to herself, not change to suit him.

30? she already sees the situation clearly
(he's a freak, and your every day commitment phobic immature male.)

51? A whip or paddle smack & nip clamps are quite shocking! no?

Was it her or you that made this simple situation seem complex?

and please no sarcastic comments...
I will not submit to such indignity!
 
F

FreeBirdTravelling

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@moss elk

thank you for your reply

I had to google the nip clamps etc that you wrote about and I'm a bit terrified now. Wow.
 

marybluesky

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Hello FreeBird!

First of all, if your intuition [or your friend's] warns about something, listen to it.

dear Oracle, my main concern is that I want to be mutually in love with someone and I can't find this special someone. Any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated. She got hex 38 UC.
I guess the I Ching is referring to the contrast of your friend's attitude toward relationships with her desire to find a mutually loving connection: she chose to go out with a guy who's clearly not interested in relationships, instead emphasizes a lot on sex; she doesn't want to be emotionally vulnerable, etc. I've been in this place and don't blame her, however this path isn't likely to lead to a fulfilling intimate relationship.

Question 2 - I don't talk to him bc I'm an egoist, he doesn't talk to me either for reasons I don't know, is there a solution for this so we can get together or shall I forget everything and just move on? She got hex 30 UC
Some believe that hexagram 30 shows two separate people. Anyway, she should make the things clear and stop being in limbo.

Question 3 - What does he want from me? She got hex 51 UC
Something that shocks your friend again.

If you girls don't feel good about this guy let him go. I think your friend sensed that something isn't right, so deleted his number and wasn't eager to make any moves.

Good luck!
 
F

FreeBirdTravelling

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@marybluesky quoting her own words: She sensed that he has emotional issues and that he represents the darkness, while she represents the light. On her part, I can confirm that as she is really a source of light, using her work, her knowledge and whatever else is available to help others in the most positive ways.
About what she sensed: mostly that despite her feelings (she's about to cry as I'm posting now), this guy surely needs to get a grip and to stops toying around with women just to validate his petty existence. So she went no contact first to teach him a lesson
Thank you for your answer, this forum proves to be really supporting
-hugs-
 

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