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31.3.5-16 Dinner party

Lodestar

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Hi folks any help with this appreciated.

I'm thinking of inviting friends round for a get together. However home for me is pretty much sacred and my retreat from the world, so though I love going to other people's dinner parties, I get very nervous inviting people into my own personal space.

I asked what are the auspices for having a fun, friendly & safe (ie no melodrama) get-together if I decide to go ahead? 31.3.5-16

I'm not sure it's encouraging.

I'd like to do it as I'm trying to stop being controlled by my fears and step outside my comfort zone. Also I am a very fun-loving person and I love preparing food etc, so it does feel this should be a more regular part of my life. However I don't see the reading as encouraging.. Any thoughts?
 

Tohpol

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Controlling your fears and stepping outside your comfort-zone is indeed a good thing but I think it has to be done carefully and with the correct intentions. i.e. not attempting to influence others and project an idea of how you would like them to see you.

The little red flag for me is the idea that you "should" be doing this. Who says? I think if you do something because you feel you should then this isn't necessarily addressing fears but conforming to others' expectations which is more often than not illusory.

That seems to be what 31.3.5>16 might be saying. Your motives are sincere but its misplaced enthusiasm. Perhaps it's an issue of timing too?
 

jzy369

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Hi folks any help with this appreciated.

I asked what are the auspices for having a fun, friendly & safe (ie no melodrama) get-together if I decide to go ahead? 31.3.5-16

31 text is about genuine affinity between people and 16 is about how to properly conduct celebratory activites, both being very appropriate for what you have in mind. 31-5 text (I use as primary in my convention) provides some specific tip: set a boundary of your potential loss (messing up your home, time/money expenditures...etc.) The bending back analogy is depicting working hard for people you have affinity with. Outcome shall have no regret. 16-3 text (I use as secondary) gives a cautionary note to avoid cajoling, seducing influcntial individuals, basically is to avoid ulterior motives.

Even my conscious mind could not have picked a better set of hex to respond to your question. I am pretty amazed that you got such result. Have fun!
 

Lodestar

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Hi Folks, many thanks for your replies!

Emm yes the use of the word 'should'! I think the one time it may be ok to use it, a 'good should', is in the context of 'I should be more loving to myself' etc.. I'm definitely not trying to influence others as they all know me very well.. As far as I am aware, I don't want to influence or cajole anyone. I just want to stop hiding and being on the outskirts. I want to step into the centre of my life, saying 'here I am, this is it, this is me, you are welcome to join me, take me or leave me' ...but for once I'll be the one extending the hand of welcome.. Timing 'seems' to be pretty perfect but we'll see.

Damage is the only thing I'm really worried about then. If I put away key items, will the property be left in an undamaged and fairly clean fashion? 49 uc... Emmm not sure that's good?!!

Or maybe 49uc is that it will go fine & will mark the turning point for me, out of my long past of hiding and into a present where I am more open, stronger and able to be a centre for other people, because I have found the centre in myself?

Maybe I'm worrying too much, it would be a start early finish early event with close friends, surely that's safe enough!?
 
S

sooo

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Hi Lodestar,

This looks to me like the tail is wagging the dog, especially by your change lines. Are you asking is this the right thing to do, or am I considering doing this for the right reason? A bit as Topal has mentioned regarding intent and "should".

If you are genuinely enthused and want to this because you want to do this, then doing it seems like a good idea. However, I think your reservations are obvious, and so asking why am I doing this seems an appropriate question to ask yourself and answer to yourself, first. But rather than trying to contrive an answer, I suggest listening to your gut.
 

Lodestar

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I'll think about that.
It's a good subject for reflection.

There is a big difference between simply being nervous about something that you actually really want to do (which may be the case for me with this)

...or other reasons ..because people have asked me, which they have...because I'm rushing a process of growth, which I may be..etc

I'll ponder :)
 

Lodestar

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Just an update.
Re my questioning 'should' ...
I think I use the word should in the sense of 'is it a good idea?'
Basically every question I ask iching regarding action, is a 'should I/is it a good idea?' question.
I think questioning my motives confused me more as I didn't really have an agenda, I was just nervous, my reservations are often simply nerves. I would expect the reading to show if I was not coming from the correct space.
Anyway the gathering turned out perfectly, it was low-key and everyone commented on how relaxed and enjoyable it was.
 

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