31 help

[shefa]

Similar questions, similar answers:

First asked, why a romantic interest was now communicating with me in short (pleasant) responses but not really initiating anything? Got 31.1 to 49.

OK, makes sense. His attraction level is still int he toes and he's not year ready to be more assertive but with 49 perhaps that's required or at least the next step?

Then asked why (same romantic interest) there was no response yet to my specific offer about getting together? got 31 unchanging.

He is hanging around but not making a move. I guess that is 31.1 or am I missing something????

 

[shefa]

OK, I just asked when will he make a move on me and got 50 unchanging. So I guess that is it -- this is a slow simmer situation, eh?

 

[shefa]

And I just asked, what is the best thing I can do (in this situation) and got 13.5.6 to 55

So please give me your overall help!

 

[precision grace]

Lise as usual is godsend for relationship readings

"why (same romantic interest) there was no response yet to my specific offer about getting together?"
31: Usually people do not want to hurt, they influence with the best intentions. They just don't realize how much self-interest these intentions contain. So be careful. A nice kiss can in the long term turn out to be a nasty bite. Don’t blame the one who did it, just never do anything that does not agree with yourself.
The trigrams say so: inside the mountain, which is you as autonomous individual, and outside the lake, the exchange. The contact can only be real and good if your individuality is the base of it.

"what is the best thing I can do "
13.5: Union of people: first wailing and weeping and yet afterwards laughing. Great legions are capable of mutual encounters.
For relations it is necessary to know where you're at. Make your intentions and feelings known, as soon and as clear as possible. The enemy is always the one you don't know. Talking can turn enemies into friends.

13.6 Union of people in the meadow. Without regret.
Recognizing "your own kind" has nothing to do with levels. It is all about being human, and not about high or low, good or bad, rich or poor. So show clearly who and what you really are, and see and accept what others really are, without imposing your own standards.

So this makes me wonder a) how did you package your 'specific offer' and
b) are you two actually on the same page as to what you both expect of eachoter

..not sure if this helps, but I can't sleep, so there you are.

(Personally, I now believe that the 'right' relationships happen easily and without having to second guess self or others and that when we have to do that, it's the universe telling us that maybe the relationship isn't quite right for us. Or it could be that I'm just lazy and want an easy life..)

 

[shefa]

Thanks. What book does your translation/commentary come from?

Your questions I will try to answer. How did I package my offer? On the phone. His response was positive about the idea and we would talk. Nothing yet. He has admitted to being shy. Sometimes I believe no response is a response. It's odd, because I have heard from him but he has not brought up the subject and neither have I. He is not ignoring me but he is also not moving forward. Are we on the same page about expectations? I don't think I have specific expectations and not sure of his, either. I believe the 31.1 answer suggests he does not yet know how he feels, if I am reading that correctly?

I think sometimes relationships come to together easily and sometimes they take the long and winding road. Not sure there is a right or wrong with that. As long as both people are engaged, (instead of one doing all the work) I think it's OK. That's my view, anyway. I am not sure I understand Yi's advice about the best thing I can do with the 13.5.6 to 55 -- the lines seem contradictory so not sure what to think.

In this case, he is not avoiding me and he is not making a move. He is just there. Is this shy or is this, he's just not that into me, I guess time will reveal. I am not interested in asking him directly because if he wants to get together he can tell me himself--he already knows what I want. I wouldn't expect to receive 31 twice about a guy who is not into me but I could be wrong. Confusing.

 

[precision grace]

The commentary is from here; http://www.yijing.nl/i_ching/

I'm sorry I didn't mean that you need to answer my questions (to me), I just meant that those are the questions that arose in my mind and if you are able to answer them to yourself to your satisfaction and they fit with the answer than all is well and good.

I hope you get some more interpretations, it could be 31 is just saying it's not the right time at the moment and 13.5.6 that you must persevere in spite the opposition. I'd be interested to hear what others think.

 

[Trojina]

I cast 13.5.6>55 about a working partnership with someone only last week

I felt it was a bit...uum insecure, not quite there etc etc

At the time I thought that amidst an almost overwhelming array of possibilties and opportunities we would manage to sort of explore together...if not in an especially intimate way (13.6)

However we 'split up'...amicably, though I think we were both relieved to be honest. I think we both wanted to do similar things, similar visions but not together. There was just so much goingon , hex 55...it was hard to see which chance to take

Strange reading really....but this isn't the first time 13.5 has indicated an amicable parting for me. It has this feel of 'well we kind of tried, it wasn't going to work but it was good to be with you and all the best' kind of thing, without regrets....with both of us still surveying the territory to be explored....like friendly explorers exploring seperately we thought we might go up a mountain together since we both liked mountains and then decided to go up seperate mountains (shook hands, no hard feelings 13.5) and off we went out from the gate/foot of the mountain (13.6)

I've never found 13.5 to be about enemies as such...differences, then agreement to differ, acceptance. I don't personally think its about intimate reunions. Overall 13 is really not an intimate hexagram


I don't know how 31>55 might pan out for Shefa I just thought I'd share my recent expereince FWIW. I guess I could see it as you don't make it as lovers but in the end no harms done, no hard feelings, you remain friends. It could however work out entirely differently...doesn't seem like advice though just a statement of what is


31 .1 just shows something nascent, a possiblitly

 

[shefa]

Thanks all for the responses. Trojan, what kind of question did you ask that gave you the 13 > 55? Interesting to hear what happened in your situation.

In my case I asked what should I do, (not what will happen, which I think would be easier to interpret) so still trying to figure out what the hex and lines mean for that. But since I was still struggling with it last night I also digressed to ask two more questions:

What doe he feel about me? 20 unchanging

What is I say "x" to him given the next opportunity? 53 unchanging

Then this morning I asked, Give me a picture of the situation 55.4 to 36

OK, now I think a pattern is emerging that says he is in a holding pattern of watching (with the potential to act at any moment) and I am best to take some action-the outcome will be beneficial per 53 and the time is ripe per 55.4 -- do others agree? Help!

 

[Trojina]

Thanks all for the responses. Trojan, what kind of question did you ask that gave you the 13 > 55? Interesting to hear what happened in your situation.
!

I asked a fairly open question "me and S working together ?".