32.3.6 > 64 for confronting a difficult area of personal growth

[Scribbles]

Hello! This is my first post. I’ve been reading posts here for over a year and have used the I Ching on and off (mostly off) for more than 20 years. Starting out with a post on what feels like a rather big topic...

Background: I’ve done a lot of personal growth work in the past year plus and am currently confronting childhood/parental issues that impact my relationship and my own parenting style. This work is essential and also very stressful to navigate. And it’s the holidays, which seems to make everything a bit more tense in general. I’ve been thinking about whether I ought to take a break, push through, continue but find some new angle or way to cope, etc.

Question: How do I deal with the distress of this current topic?
Answer: 32.3.6 > 64 Lasting changing to Not Yet Across

I see this as a “ don’t quit,” and that I’m on the right path but not ready for whatever the big step of crossing the river is. However, I’m baffled by the changing lines, which seem contradictory, and could use some help.

Line 3
'Not lasting in your character,
Maybe accepting a shameful gift.
Constancy: shame.'
Not sure what the shameful gift could be. Maybe not to seek escape in negative coping mechanisms or solace from the wrong people? And “constancy—shame” seems to contradict the idea of continuing on? Unless it’s specifically referring to whatever the shameful gift is (which I’m not sure of)?

Line 6
'Shaking up lasting, pitfall.'
I’ve literally no idea here. Shaking up lasting—does that mean I should continue exactly as I have been, not make changes?

Thank you for reading and for any input you might have.

 

[diamanda]

How do I deal with the distress of this current topic?
32.3.6 > 64
Something stable is getting destabilised and it disappears (32.3). Then a long continuance of this, brings someone drowning, an omen of misfortune. 64 shows that the situation will not come to fruition, So how to deal with the distress - realise that there was no stability or strong attraction there, or if it was, it led to drowning and things left unfinished. Deal with it as with any other confusing situation: class it as a deceptive fairy-tale.

 

[Scribbles]

Thanks, Diamanda. I’ve been trying to puzzle out how this applies. Could you explain where the drowning person came from?

 

[Freedda]

Question: How do I deal with the distress of this current topic?
Answer: 32.3.6 > 64 Lasting changing to Not Yet Across

Scribbles, just so I'm clear, can you explain again what it is you are asking about? Is it your struggle with your own parenting methods and skills? Or something else? E.g. what is the 'current topic' you are distressed about? I guess I'm not entirely clear about that.

Thanks, D.

 

[Scribbles]

Scribbles, just so I'm clear, can you explain again what it is you are asking about? Is it your struggle with your own parenting methods and skills? Or something else? E.g. what is the 'current topic' you are distressed about? I guess I'm not entirely clear about that.

Thanks, D.

Hi, good question. Issues from my upbringing are showing up in all my relationships (as they do for everyone), including as a parent myself—but I was not specifically asking about my parenting skills. I’m grappling with how to keep moving forward with personal growth work/inner child/cycle breaking/etc. as I face some fraught and distressing issues. Do I push on with my current approach, try something else, take a break? Does that help clarify?

 

[Freedda]

Thanks for clarifying that.

I'm not really sure I can glean an exact answer here, but what comes to mind is the difference between a particular technique or method, and what we might consider an 'approach' or maybe our attitude towards that technique.

I've heard that when it comes to spiritual matters we westerners are perhaps a bit too easy to switch methods or 'paths' because we might get a bit board, or that things might come up that are challenging for us - but that maybe we should be looking at.

So here I think you're advised to be consistent in your personal growth, but to keep an eye our for a method or path that just doesn't suit you or fit your character, or that is over-stimulating (which might mean trying too many things at once, or trying too hard?)

The resulting hexagram 64 and its little fox and the potential for soaking his tail mid-stream, hmmm? Perhaps the idea is to not only try to know if a particular path (or practice, or approach) is right for you, but to also try and sense when it might be the right time for it. Or, maybe it's related to the idea of continuing - if you're already well-along your way with a certain practice or approach, maybe you shouldn't stop 'half-way'?

64 is also called 'not yet across' or not yet complete, and I think of it as a reminder that our path is never really completed, which might imply some sense of acceptance along that path. Also looking at the trigram (the 2 three-line figures that make up the hexagram), you have fire above, water below, so maybe to look for a path or approach that includes seeing with clarity (e.g ability to see clearly and make decisions in the 'real world) along with letting you go deep, explore the mystery ....

Setting the Yi aside, I have found that a spiritual practice - like meditation - combined with therapy at times provided a good balance for me. And someimes they are at the same time; sometimes not.

Best, d.

 

[diamanda]

Hi Scribbles,
My apologies for the 'drowning' comment, it was a mistake on my part, I confused it with another line. I'll give it another go to clarify, with the correct line in mind this time. I re-read your posts and your clarification too, so your question is about what you can do about the distress - should you press on with current approach or not. Overall your question is somewhat vague, hence the answer is sort of vague too.

32.3 shows someone who isn't consistent, and doesn't have regular integrity. Who is this person? Is it you or someone else? This person 'sometimes succeeds' and that's shameful. This line is 'a miserly omen'.
32.6 is about being constantly excited, or constantly stressed. This line is 'an omen of misfortune'.
Hidden line 40.6 shows shooting down a bird of prey (but because of resulting 64 this doesn't succeed).
This whole situation as described in the line does not come to fruition (64), or, does not continue.

"I’m grappling with how to keep moving forward with personal growth work/inner child/cycle breaking/etc. as I face some fraught and distressing issues"

I don't think you should continue with your current approach. Something needs to stop happening.

 

[Scribbles]

Thanks, Fredda and Diamanda. Somehow I missed the notification of more replies (probably in my spam).

In reading your responses, it occurs to me that I am perhaps the little fox, as I’m quite impatient to “get through” this phase. It’s painful, and I’ve been sitting with a lot of discomfort over the past year in dealing with some other issues. I’m eager for things to improve.

So that would mean 32.6 is me and that I maybe should chill out, slow down, and realize that I do, in fact have to just sit with more discomfort. But maybe extreme discomfort means to look at other ways to proceed, because how far am I going to get if I’m so very stressed?

Maybe line 3 is a warning? I’m still not sure about that and not at all certain it is referring to me. I’m definitely consistent and approach things with integrity. I have addressed this topic long ago, but it’s like an onion, so many layers. Maybe it’s that? And so this time I need to dig deeper, peel back all the way? Will think on it a bit.

Fredda, thanks for the recommendation—I do mindfulness exercises when I remember. This is a good time to start doing that regularly.