33.3.4 > 20 About a creative project

[poised]

My question: What do I need to consider about going back to my own book now?

Hexagram 33 Retreat

Line 33.3 I should provide for the safety of others? Safety?

Line 33.4 An opportunity to strengthen my position if I'm the "superior" one. Or if the project is the superior one? I really do not see any "inferiors" in my situation:

I am a published author, was working on this long-cherished fiction idea (Project A) when I met friend. Friend told me things I did not know about a particular topic that had great meaning to me. He's a somewhat recognized expert. WE started working on a book about his stuff (Project B), got sidetracked with an emotional/physical relationship, tho I never stopped doing research to flesh out his initial idea. I have thousands of reference compiled about Project B. But he has not followed thru on doing his part and essentially says he won't. I'm thoroughly bored and disgusted with the whole matter.

The relationship is fading, as far as I'm concerned, into the faint distance. He says not, but really, it is. Retreat going on here, on both sides. Kinda sad. But not very.

More to the point, I feel sort of honor-bound to write Project B book, but with less than zero enthusiasm. It's only guilt.

Project A, my fiction, sits there. Also did a bunch of research for it--research I actually enjoyed. Nights in uni libraries til I was so tired I was lying on the floor, thrilled with the info I found. Risky, I've never published fiction, nor even written a work of fiction. But what I've written so far pleases my uber-critical editorial mind.

Perhaps 33.3.4 > 20 suggests retreating from my work of fiction, which will only benefit me, and doing B, which would benefit two of us financially and a whole lot of people who need to read this stuff. "This stuff," btw, is alcohol, the culture of alcohol, results /social costs of alcoholism. I have lost most of my family to alcoholism, so you see why I wanted to take a shot at it. But as usual, at my own personal expense.

So that could be another facet, to retreat from dragging drunks from their addiction? Or to retreat from feeling like I should?

What do I actually want to do? Get on with my own project and forget friend and his--but there's that "greater good" thingy playing in my mind like some bonneted Salvation Army lady with a tambourine.

Help, please,:bows: I am seeing too many possibilities here.

 

[poised]

Creativity crisis goes on

So I asked two more questions about these writing projects:

What will happen if I go ahead with Project A, my own fiction: 12.3 > 33

Ah, good ole Retreat again, but 12.3 is a rather nasty line, suggesting I don't have the right stuff to do it anyway? After a lifetime in the publishing business?

What will happen if I stay with Project B, our mutual book? 11.3.4 > 54

Peace, fluttering down to help my neighbor, a loveless marriage. Sounds like the status quo. Same old same old.

I'm not seeing a clearcut choice that will work to my benefit. What's with that? Perhaps I have to get out of either-or mode and find a third choice?

My fantasy favorite thing to do would be to move to California and publicize the excellent work a certain wild horse sanctuary is doing there. Because that's what I care about most.

Y says 32 unchanging.

Duration. This choice is virtually impossible, so I'm assuming I should stay where I am. Endurance required. Most money I make at whatever I'm doing will go toward the sanctuary tho. Motivation to plow thru both projects. HItch that plow to those horses, heh? Actually, that's the first time today I've felt good about anything.

 

[anemos]

hi,

What I noticed about 33.3.4 > 20 , is that both ask for stepping back to gain perspective. 33 doesn't mean quit necessarily You just step back , to see things from a distance and decide what to do or not. Similar advice seems to give your 20 here. For some reasons it seems you are stuck and maybe its not those reasons / things you see from a close distance.

 

[rodaki]

hi poised,

I find 33 often comes up for me when I feel I'm being compromised or into an emotional loop . . retreat is your fall back upon space; you head into your inner mountain, sort of like an inner savings vault, where you reconnect with what matters - it's a sort of 36 but not forced upon you by environment, rather chosen by you instead, because finding balance is more important to fighting some battle. Lise calls it 'save your bacon' and says it pictures a little pig and feet under way (again the inner resources and the way back to them). Sometimes it's like taking a climbing trip - things look incredibly different from the top of a mountain.

It's rather temporary too - you doing this has a purpose. 33.3 sounds a lot what you have described (here and in your other threads) about the collaboration thing: you wanna move on but feel tied and dragged back; treat it as something that serves you & your higher purpose rather than something you need to serve - flip it around, so to speak
33.4 can be heart-breaking when you feel really close to a cause yet you know you need to step away - I'm inclined to see your project A in this. It probably doesn't mean that it's an altogether no-go either, I think Yi asks of you to think outside of projects for a little while - now does not look like the best time to forge ahead . .



hope it helps some!


(p.s.: I don't know if you're into astrology at all, but if you are curious about it, I'd look into any Saturn synastry between you and the guy from project B - what you described sounds a lot like that and it usually comes with feelings of heaviness and needing to break free but a sense of honor holding you back . . they say it's a sign of working thru past karma, although I"m always a bit of a sceptic about that)

 

[poised]

Thanks, anemos. Yes, I am stepping back and trying to reevaluate the situation. Thanks for mentioning being stuck on reasons/things I see up close.

I found this interesting take on hexagram 20 at a site called Pathfinder, that I've never seen before http://www.pathfinder.3rdmilieux.com/i-ching-tao-of-power-art-of-war-hexagram-20-perspective.html: This is not a time for action,but rather of observation. And careful consideration. A time to search for ideas concerning how future improvements might be made in one's own character, or surrounding environment.

I do attend a group that presents opportunities to examine my "character," and come face-to-face with ego stuff. Which, of course, is energy-consuming. Taking time off to lighten up might do me a lot of good.

 

[poised]

Inner Mountains

I find 33 often comes up for me when I feel I'm being compromised or into an emotional loop . . retreat is your fall back upon space; you head into your inner mountain, sort of like an inner savings vault, where you reconnect with what matters - things look incredibly different from the top of a mountain.

Ah, rodaki, you went right to my heart with that comment. Thanks for reminding me.

I retreated to mountaintops twice when life became too cluttered, once I packed up my kids and dogs and went to a wonderful house on top of a mountain in Big Sur -- miles and miles of redwoods and an ocean that extended forever. It was the best year of my life and the first time I ever felt truly at home. Did it again many years later, retreated to the Redwoods after leaving my big stressful job, same ocean, beaches, cliffs,different town, different pets. And then wrote a book that earned quite a lot.

Really, I'm in tears, because I am not able to retreat to the redwoods today. Need that reality desperately, to freshen my perspective, to clear my head and heart.

Feel like I'm living some irrelevant half life in this pretend little city with a pretend bf and a pretend project to work on. Mired. Whose life is this?

33.4 can be heart-breaking when you feel really close to a cause yet you know you need to step away - I'm inclined to see your project A in this.

Or I need to step away from him. I'm ready, but it's not easy.

It probably doesn't mean that it's an altogether no-go either, I think Yi asks of you to think outside of projects for a little while - now does not look like the best time to forge ahead .

Stepping outside the projects sounds wonderful. Everything will benefit. Fiction project will be fresh, new, and stretch my abilities...I really want to know what I can do with it. Plus, it feels karmic as well...the characters, the locations...fall into the category of things we know that we never learned. Plays a different note, more heart and gut centered than head-centered nonfiction. The fear and uncertainty I experience with it can easily be turned into excitement. Healthy fear.

(p.s.: I don't know if you're into astrology at all, but if you are curious about it, I'd look into any Saturn synastry between you and the guy from project B - what you described sounds a lot like that and it usually comes with feelings of heaviness and needing to break free but a sense of honor holding you back . . they say it's a sign of working thru past karma, although I"m always a bit of a sceptic about that)

I know something but not a lot about astrology and friend cannot get his birth time; it isn't on his birth certificate. Since we met two years ago, he's felt like family. Tracing family lineage, we found that his father's and my mother's ancestors were living (and possibly mingling) in Brittany before the French Revolution, then proceeded thru the Isle of Jersey to Ireland to Newfoundland...and his went on to Nova Scotia. One source says that my family was deposed by the revolution, his family did not kill mine, as we cleverly showed them how to rule.

He and I have big social differences, he was raised with nothing, I had everything. And I'm feeling so honor-bound to drag him into (relative) fame and fortune now.

Did I feel I owed him? Or did I just find him irresistible? He initiated everything personal in our relationship; I just pushed for the book. What was I thinking? Off with idiot-girl's head. Where's a good guillotine when you need one?

Gallows humor or centuries of guilt? Big sigh.

But no matter, rodaki. YOu are very intuitive and I appreciate you no end. :bows: :bows: :bows:

 

[anemos]

Thanks, anemos. Yes, I am stepping back and trying to reevaluate the situation. Thanks for mentioning being stuck on reasons/things I see up close.

You are welcome. Your follow up reading for each project and your brief comments made me feel that there is something more under the surface which might have less to do with the project themselves but with more personal things that you somehow attribute to those books.

So I asked two more questions about these writing projects:

What will happen if I go ahead with Project A, my own fiction: 12.3 > 33

Ah, good ole Retreat again, but 12.3 is a rather nasty line, suggesting I don't have the right stuff to do it anyway? After a lifetime in the publishing business?

What will happen if I stay with Project B, our mutual book? 11.3.4 > 54

Peace, fluttering down to help my neighbor, a loveless marriage. Sounds like the status quo. Same old same old.

if you take those two reading side by side there is an interesting interplay between 12/11 and 33/54 . so , my estimation is that there is more there besides your dilemma on which project is best to engage your self.. maybe a general issue of engagement /disengagement; between the "I" and "we" , etc etc..

anyways, I found those two reading very very intriguing and especially the contradiction I perceive- maybe I'm wrong tho- between those lines and the ways you look at them. However, I believe, i'm not saying something you don't already know , so it makes sense your initial reading.

 

[rodaki]

hey poised,


thank you so much for the good words and I'm glad I could help!
I hope things get clearer/better for you soon!


p.s. You can still see the basic placements of guy B's chart without birth time, just use a random time and don't pay attention to house placements. Planet placements will still be correct.

I was impressed by the family stories you seem to share - quite extraordinary! You know, 33 could also signal that, a 're-tracing' of your history, gong back in time, in a way. These things that go way back can be very complex to tackle and not always possible to solve . . they can be like a gordian knot. Sometimes distancing yourself opens the way to the New

( . . just saying/sharing thoughts here. You know better what is best for you in the long term )

take care!