36.2 and being watched

[l1s1]

Hi all,

I am trying to get some understanding of a particular situation that I am now in. An guidance that anyone can provide would be greatly appreciated.

I am currently recovering from a breakup of a long time relationship. I am attracted to someone. I am conflicted about this person due to a particular thing. I am finding that he has been and continues to watch me from a distance. We have spoken often and spent some time together. I have never asked him about watching me. I really don't want to open that door.

I asked the I Ching why is he watching me and I received 36.2 to 11. Should I be worried?

 

[rosada]

Perhaps he has been injured himself in relationships and although he is interested, he is hesitant to approach you directly. Could 36.2 be describing you, saying that although you have been hurt in love, this will not prevent you from befriending others, particularly this fellow who seems to be letting past relationships spoil his chances for the future? Perhaps you are being advised that you should bring up what he's doing in a friendly way? Could you just go up to him with, "Why are you watching me? Come say hello, I wont bite!"

That's my take on what the I Ching is saying, but personally I think it's kinda weird and maybe even creepy. So I don't think you should necessarily worry, but I'm not sure I would go up to him and say anything, even though i think that is what the I Ching is suggesting!

Rosada

 

[em ching]

wow what a relevant answer to the situation! (as always)
Seems to be saying that, maybe he is wary of hurting himself and you (which is rather noble!) and so hiding an outward display of emotion.. and he obviously desires a peaceful, happy relationship with you..

Perhaps, if you are interested you should invite him for a coffee? and then if you decide you like him yet he keeps watching you in an underhand way, talk to him about it. because if there's a part of him you are wary of and don't understand, you will never be able to trust him... does he know you know he's watching you?

I don't think his motives are bad so no need to worry too much, as this just seems to be his way of approaching relationships at the mo (a bit socially gauche! but nevertheless, hopefully he will behave a bit more nornally when he aquires confidence in you and himself...

 

[l1s1]

Rosada and Em,

Thank you for your responses. I had not considered that he may have been hurt in past relationships. That is rather interesting. I have asked him about himself. Sometimes he speaks freely and then becomes guarded and changes the subject back to me.

He is nice, shy and a bit of a workaholic. I spoke to him first just being friendly. I was not attracted to him at this point. He seemed rather surprised that anyone noticed him. Over time (six months), he seems comfortable around me but is a bit sensitive to comments. He seems to take things the wrong way. It may be due to fact that he speaks two languages.

He thought that I was mad at him during one conversation and said that he did not want me to think that he was stalking me. I wanted to ask about it then but thought better of it. The watching thing does bother me. Sometimes I just think that it may just be a coincidence and nothing to do with me.

 

[ginnie]

Could be

Could be he is concerned about you and is watching you to see if you're alright. After all, doesn't he know that you're recovering from a terrible breakup? One meaning of hex 36 given by Stephen Karcher is "help in hardship." I know it's paradoxical.

"Horse" can mean movement, and I don't see how it can hurt you to mobilize yourself and just come right out and ask him any questions you might have on your mind. The movement he's been taking is this: He's been watching over you.

The second hexagram, number 11, is very auspicious. There's nothing here to worry about.

There's a confusion with this question because we don't know if 36.2>11 applies to him or applies to you. I think it probably applies to him. It says that he thinks he is rescuing you. Guys often like to see themselves as the rescuers of women.

It could be that he's watching you because he admires you. There is no reason to put a dark interpretation on this. Why not lighten up and just be more at peace with this guy? Hex 11 is really a very auspicious hexagram.

 

[my_key]

I asked the I Ching why is he watching me and I received 36.2 to 11. Should I be worried?

I'm with Barbra on this one. Nothing to worry about.

He is watching you from a distance because he is holding a candle for you, but does not know how to express it. He is hurt in some way and has an empathy with your situation. He does not know what to do and whether he will be hurt you more if he comes forward and approaches you. He feels he has a responsibility for you and the situation that you both find yourself in and wants to make sure you are OK. Look for ways to make the situation clearer for you both so that you can bring more harmony around you.

BLessings

Mike

 

[l1s1]

Barbra and Mike,

Thank you for your responses. I had not thought that he might be watching over me to be sure I am ok. I can accept that. I will not look on this situation negatively. I will try to find a way to ask him about it. I am beginning to see that I have been taking his kindness for granted.

He knows the back story to my breakup. He has been understanding and has given me some good advise and a shoulder to cry on. I have trusted him with the details over my close friends. I am not sure why but I have.

 

[ginnie]

Listening

He listens to you when you want to talk. You have found a guy who listens, and most women would envy you.

If you could find a copy of John Gray's book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus, I think it would really help to clarify a lot of the communication glitches you have run into so far in this relationship. Reading this book could help to bring more harmony and understanding into your relationship. I think it should be compulsory reading for everybody!

 

[l1s1]

Barbra,

He does listen which has been good. Would you believe that I read Men are from Mars over 10 years ago and forgot everything I read. It might have helped in my last relationship. I will have to locate that book again.

Follow up:

He gave me some good advice today. He wanted me to move on with with my life and to give him a chance. I should not have been so open with him. I told him that I could not open my heart to him and risk being hurt again. He gave me a hug and a rather passionate kiss. I told him that I need some space so as to not form further emotional attachment to him.

Anyway, thanks to everyone again for their help.

 

[gene]

What could possibly be giving you the idea he is watching you?

Gene

 

[Trojina]

What could possibly be giving you the idea he is watching you?

Gene

she thinks hes watching her because shes noticed him watching her. Don't you believe her ?

 

[l1s1]

Gene,

I should have expanded on the watching thing. I have found him watching me when I take my breaks and lunches even if I take them late. He calls me when I am on my breaks outside the office to say that he sees me walking and to shoot the breeze. He walks past my office to see if I am in.

We don't work for the same company.

Trojan,

I appreciate the help.

 

[gene]

Then it sounds like he is interested. Nothing too sinister about that, I wouldn't think.

By the way, Trojan. I asked the question because it is crucial. There are many things going on here, and the answer she gave lends to the psychology of the overall situation. How we perceive things is critically important because our perception can actually change the reality that we experience. I certainly believe she perceives it that way.

The commentary in line two is that the wound is not fatal, it is only a hindrance. And here what she sees happening is a hindrance. And this goes too deep into the scope of things to be discussed in this forum, except to say, men and women think differently, and what can seem very normal for one sex can be seen as somewhat creepy by the other. Women are very, very sensitive, and sometimes too much so. It works very well for them, but occassionally leads them down wrong paths in their conclusions.

Here, the real problem is perception, It is easy to let our fears blindness. So we have to get at "the heart of the darkening of the light" and look inside our own thoughts to see where we have been woumded.

Wishing you well, Itsi.
Gene

 

[ginnie]

Oppps

If there's anything just as strong as love, then it must be fear. Things need to unfold in their own way. The Yi, someone said here, is not a team sport.