37.1.4-33

[scorp]

Dear all,
I'm scorpioontherun with a new nick (lost the password and old mail hijacked) and I return to you from a period of iChing DIY.

I enquired about the potential of my relationship with Mr J. We are seing eachother since one year, very difficult beginning because he was in the middle of a painful separation, now things are settling into a nice and mutually respectfull loving relationship. So I was stumped at 37.1.4.-33. Diamanda in a previous reply to a similar question said that this meant it was a temporary thing (hidden line 54.4 if I recall correctly) and that the guy would eventually retreat ... I have difficulty (regardless of the fact that I don't quite like the answer ) understanding where the interpretation comes from.
I would have interpreted as a far more positive answer, taking 33 as the background more than the outcome like a "stop thinking about it, retreat from your anguish to try and figure out the future".
But then again : the girl he has separated from IS the mother of his child ... Ufff
Ideas?
Have a nice day
Scorpioontherun

 

[mirian]

Dear Scorp,

The way I see your reading this relationship requires some work to get properly structured. The Yi is using the image of a family (Hex 37) in a sense that there are several members that are linked to each other (you, Mr J, his child, his ex...) and all those those connections are very important to give you good prospects in this relationship.
Considering your lines, I would say that the roles in this "family" have to be clearly defined, so you know exactly where YOU stand in this group and the level of commitment of Mr J em relation to you. And it also involves all practical aspects regarding the relationships between its members (how often does Mr J see his child? How much quality time does he spend with you? Is Mr J's ex still a strong influence in his life? What is your position in this "family"?) Anyway, these are the sort of questions that you should ask yourself.

So, you are in a much better position to judge if those connections within "the family" are working fine and you are not at a disadvantage as a member of this group. Because if this structure is not quite right it is up to you to lay the law, it is time for you to clearly mark the boundaries. The Yi is already telling you that if you have to make a choice between been very flexible or strict you should choose the latter.
I see Hex 33 as the background. Retreat is not defeat, retreat is when you take a step back to analyse the whole situation without passion, it is when you protect yourself from harm and make the best decisions for you.

I do not see the Yi saying whether or not this will be a long lasting relationship. Rather, the reading is raising awareness of how important is to get the balance and structure right within your relationship/family.

Hope that helps.:bows:

 

[scorp]

Dear Mirian,
thanks for your help. It makes soooooo much sense and so adherent to what is giong on. Mr J is making huge efforts to structure things and I am veeery clear on what I am willing to accept. And he shows me every day that he is putting healthy boundaries for eveyone involved (she is really really too much sometimes). But he needs the time and the trust to do it his way and this is part of the respect that I am willing to give.
Thanks again
Scorp