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38.1.5.6 to 59

musico

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I’d really appreciate some help in understanding something. I seem to be missing a crucial point. My relationship came to a sad end a few months ago. The ball is very much in X’s court – he has simply stopped communicating (I know he’s perfectly well and alive) It’s been pretty painful but I’ve been getting myself together, life is pretty good, I have one or two nice guys around that I’m seeing, and I'd reached a point of accepting that the past is done with. In fact, given the events that to led to our split, I’ve begun to suspect X is a bit of a b**t*rd

Yesterday I found myself thinking about him unexpectedly, and asked the Yi ‘What do I need to know about our relationship?’ In my mind I had no doubt that it’s ‘over’ and was fully expecting to get an answer that confirmed it. Instead I got Hex 38 with 1, 5 and 6 changing to 59. Quite a surprise.

38: Mutual Alienation. Yup. 59: Dispersion. Yup.

Line 1: 'If you lose your horse, do not run after it; it will come back of its own accord'

Line 5: 'Remorse disappears. The companion bites his way through the wrappings. If one goes to him, how could it be a mistake?'

Line 6: ‘Isolated through opposition, one sees one's companion as a pig covered with dirt...He is not a robber; he will woo at the right time’

Huh?

I then asked: ‘is there something I need to do about X?’
Hexagram 7 unchanging – presumably keep my self-discipline…?

Still puzzled, I asked: ‘What is the reality of our relationship?’
Hexagram 23 unchanging. Yes, we have certainly split apart.

I had a really bad night thinking about X – first time for weeks, really. This morning I was quite cross with the Yi and asked: ‘Why did you raise my hopes by giving me Hex 38 in the first place?’ I mean, I was peeved. I'd been doing fine until then!!

Sigh. I received Hex 23 changing to 7. What am I not understanding here? And I still don’t see why I got Hex 38… I’d be really grateful for your insight.
 

altair139

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How could hex 38 raise your hope up? It's estrangement, both of you will not be able to patch it up. The companions in the changing lines do not necessarily mean him, it could be the guys you're seeing.
 

musico

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Thanks Altair, and yes - I agree. I don't see any hope of patching it up and didn't approach the Yi with a shred of hope that might be the case - rather, I think I was hoping for some insight that might explain why he'd come into my mind. I'm confused because the lines I got imply some kind of end to the mutual 'alienation'. The only alienation I feel is from X, and the only person I'm tempted to consider as a 'pig covered in mud' etc. is him!
 

angelatlantis14

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Actually, I have to defend musico's side here - for one, Hex 38 is not only known as "estrangement" or "Mutual Alienation (don't know where this comes from???) but as "Opposition" and the judgement speaks about making improvements in small matters. So, rather undecided. The lines could truly be taken as an encouragement.

Also while Hex 59 is named "Dispersion" both judgement and all interpretations I have seen so far give this a positive direction, as in dispersion of rigidness, and cold. Dispersion of the ice...

So, yes musico, I see why this might be seen as an encouraging sign.

Still, since you had already before arrived at the conclusion that your ex is not such a good person for you, the reading might be read in a different light. Like Hex 38 Line 2 could be saying that you have lost that love but need not be concerned because love will come back all by itself. Similarly, Line 6 could mean that this separation was a blessing in disguise, leading to better things. Hex 59 could mean that the coldness currently enwrapping your heart will thaw.

I believe that the I ching gave you encouraging answers here, but what exactly they encourage will be seen....

best wishes

maui
 
D

diamanda

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‘What do I need to know about our relationship?’
38.1.5.6 > 59


The answer describes a situation where a partner leaves you. Then you
don't chase him, and he comes back. He strives and strives to be with you
again, and although you see him as a pig for leaving you, he still persists till
the alienation is over. Well that doesn't seem to describe what happened to
you. You didn't chase him as you say, but the rest never happened. He didn't
seem to regret the split, and he didn't come back to strive to be with you again.

"What do I need to know" questions are very confusing and misleading. More
concrete questions get more concrete answers, like the following one.

‘What is the reality of our relationship?’ Hexagram 23 unchanging
Well obviously, as you say, it means you are split up.

‘is there something I need to do about X?’ Hexagram 7 unchanging
Here also have a look at what you're asking, you're asking "about X", not "towards"
him. So yes, self-discipline and being mature about it sounds like the advice.
Fingers crossed that it will work out between you and one of the new guys!

I was hoping for some insight that might explain why he'd come into my mind
It's normal that an ex partner occasionally comes to mind. Even after we're
over them completely - maybe something reminded you of him. It doesn't mean
anything when we happen to think of someone, human memory has lots of random
moments.
 

musico

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Thanks very much for your replies, Maui and Diamanda - I really appreciate your taking the time. I think all I can do is to simply carry on as I have been doing - get on with enjoying life and building new friendships/relationships. The Hex 38 moving lines still seem a bit puzzling, but if I get any more idea of what it might be about I'll certainly post an update.
 

altair139

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38 is translated as "estrangement" is because of the literal meaning of its name in chinese: 睽 which means "seperated" (due to oppositions of ideas etc i.e. conflicts). The image is fire over a lake, fire wants to go up but lake wants to settle down thus they are in conflict and opposition, in relationships queries this depicts incompatible couples or couples who chase different things or values in life thus they are separated by this, hence the name "mutual alienation" as this conflict is from both parties.
 

musico

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I thought I'd better post an update! I'm gobsmacked. Out of the blue, I've had a string of affectionate and regretful texts from X today. I really never, ever expected that to happen and, to be honest, I'm not yet entirely sure how I will respond...Think I'll ask the Yi - it certainly seems to be on the money so far!
 

altair139

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This sounds like what happened to me last year, however I will sound like a dick now if I tell you not to get your hope up lol.
Will wait for more updates a few months from now.
 

musico

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To be honest, Altair, I don't think you need feel like a dick at all :) It's very odd, but X phoned this evening after I'd responded pleasantly and cautiously to the texts. Much as I wanted it to be OK, I knew it wasn't really. I found him just a bit patronising, a bit domineering, a bit pushy, a bit gamey and all the other things that contributed to our break-up. I cast afterwards, asking what my attitude should be towards him now and got 43.3.6 > 10. Yup, I shall walk on without him and I shall tell him so when he next calls. So you weren't actually wrong!
 

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