40.5>47 will taking X actions help put a stop to the troubles she is causing me?

[leonine]

Hi all,
I've been going through a protracted time of great difficulty with a sister-in law, which all began about 2 years ago when she gave birth to my nephew. Since then, she has been doing her best to discredit me within my family, making various sneaky moves aimed at securing family inheritances purely for my sibling, and thus her children (she has since given birth again), slandering me etc etc etc. A serious relationship broke up in great part due to her interference ( I very strongly suspect that aside from mean spiritedness, part of her motivation was to stop a union that could lead to children, as this might dilute possible inheritances, and the next time I have a girlfriend, I am loathe to have her anywhere near her lest there is a repeat performance) , situations she has set up have led to fights between myself and my parents, has sabotaged aspects of my social life (via friends of hers who became friends of mine... friends she in fact introduced me to, all of this being before she gave birth), through her influence she has blocked work opportunities for me etc... and all of this has been done with a smile on her face, such that those within my family are not able to see past her BS.

She comes from a political family, so such games are second nature to her, and she is a media personality, so she is damn good at acting. She is also very well connected socially. She has done some very ghastly and downright evil things as well that I won't go into... as far as I am concerned, she is about 70% Sociopath, able and willing to flick on and off a sociopath switch of sorts, depending on who she is dealing with and what she wants. She seems to genuinely love my brother (who is a jerk in his own way though thankfully NOWHERE in the neighborhood near her) and love her children and parents and a few friends, but is also willing to do ANYTHING to get what she wants... and I am in the way in terms of her children receiving all of an inheritance. I am quite serious when I say that I am concerned that when I have children she might kick them down the stairs when no one is looking. Sounds dramatic, but she is right out of Game of Thrones, and isn't a Sansa Stark type character, but would be along the lines of a Cerscie, if Cerscie tried to act nice and gracious.

I could go on and on, but it would get boring, so I will tell a quick story to give an example of her deceptive powers: last year I had a birthday dinner with family and some friends, unfortunately this in-law came (not inviting her and my brother was not an option). One of my friends in attendance had never met her, and I had never told her about any of my troubles with her. This friend of mine is a perceptive and shrewd young woman who is able to easily see past BS. The two were seated near each other and talked a good deal. After the dinner I asked my friend what she thought about the sister-in-law, and her response was "It's like she is trying to put everyone in her pocket"... basically objectify everyone and through charm "put" others in her "pocket" for future use in achieving her goals and ends... something beyond social networking... basically valuating people without valuing them as human beings. Mind you, I'm not saying she does this in every instance, but she does it, from what I have seen, quite often Smart girl, my friend.

Anyways, this has been ongoing and has added a GREAT deal of stress and trouble to my life (and my life is already currently very troubled and stressful right even without her input). I have tried many things to stop her from the troubles that she is causing, with mixed and temporary success. Recently, I have come upon some other areas of possibility in terms of dealing with her and putting a stop to her efforts (don't worry, nothing illegal).

As such I asked the I-ching:
Will I sucede in negating her threat and efforts by taking actions X?
Ok, first off, this is obviously a Yes/No question

40.5 > 47

Hexagram 40
Liberation, Deliverance, Eliminating obstacles

Changing to 47
Exhaustion

Ok, first off the bat, I would say in this case Exhaustion clearly and accurately describes my current state.

Hexagram 40.5
Legge: The fifth line, magnetic, shows the superior man (the ruler) executing his function of removing whatever is injurious to the idea of liberation, in which case there will be good fortune, and confidence in him will be shown even by the inferior men.

Liu: Only the superior man can liberate himself from entanglement. Good fortune. Thus the inferior man trusts him.

So there are two line translations, and I would say that based on the Hexagram and line, the answer seems to be a Yes. I am confused by the "little man" part though. I am by no means saying I am a great man, but in this situation I don't think I qualify as the little man spoken of in the line. Is this saying that my success will somehow serve as an inspiration to others, or something else along those lines? What confuses me about that is that while I am certain she has done similar things to carrying degrees to others, my struggle with her is known , on my side anyway, only to myself and a few very close friends... it is certainly not public knowledge etc.In addition, the actions I am considering will remain secret to all except myself, I will not share the info with friends or anyone, though I suppose my actions might leave me in a position to offer advice to others in similar situations (though if I do so I will not give as an example what I went through).

There you have it, I would love any insights any of you might offer etc.

Thanks

 

[mirian]

Hi leonine,

I think that hex 40.5 > 47 is saying that only you can liberate yourself. That the situation is getting you stressed out and drained (47) that goes without saying. But the point is you have to disentangle yourself from this Game of Thrones scenario by taking a step back, getting your confidence back and not letting her have all this negative effect on your life. This kind of liberation that line 5 talks about comes from yourself, from within, and not from any external action. Once you realise that she does not have this power over you then you are free. As for any intention that she might have to illegitimately take control of family inheritance there are laws, you know, to protect people from that sort of thing.

 

[leonine]

Hi leonine,

I think that hex 40.5 > 47 is saying that only you can liberate yourself. That the situation is getting you stressed out and drained (47) that goes without saying. But the point is you have to disentangle yourself from this Game of Thrones scenario by taking a step back, getting your confidence back and not letting her have all this negative effect on your life. This kind of liberation that line 5 talks about comes from yourself, from within, and not from any external action. Once you realise that she does not have this power over you then you are free. As for any intention that she might have to illegitimately take control of family inheritance there are laws, you know, to protect people from that sort of thing.

Thanks for the reply, but I do not entirely agree with your interpretation, as I assure you I have tried to ignore the situation multiple times, with the result being that it has gotten worse. Inaction leads to gains on her end, which further embolden her to build upon those gains. With someone like her, hoping that the threat will go away in such a way is truly akin to an ostrich thinking the approaching Lion disappears just because the ostrich sticks it's head in the sand. The only thing that would work that doesn't involve conflict would be for me to announce to my family that I renounce all potential inheritances (from my parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents as well) and would be willing to sign a legally binding document to do so, and then go join a monastary to sweeten the deal. Seriously.The actions I asked about involve negating her efforts, an aikido of sorts, as opposed to Karate.

As for laws to protect against such things happening, that doesn't work if the ones giving the inheritance are manipulated or convinced to write someone out of their will. My father went through a terrible situation years ago with his dementia stricken father and his wife of ten years... the 'step-mom' and her lawyer son-in-law coerced (abused would be a better term)my grandfather into signing everything over to her, and my father had to contest this matter in court, bothers a financial matter and one of honor. While it eventually became apparent that a 90 year old man who saluted the judge with a serbian military salute (the part of the balkans he was from was invaded in the early part of the 20th century) was not in his right mind and wasn't at the time the papers had been signed, my father still spent a fortune in legal fees to the point that what wasn't stolen was less than had been spent to prevent such a theft and fraud... not to mention the years of pain, heartache and stress... after wards the lawyer son-in-law tried to essentially sell my father pictures of his mother that had been pilfered from his fathers possessions, to which my father admirably replied "burn them", before hanging up the phone.

I digress a bit, but to explain that the law often fails people, and by the time it gets to that point the heartache and cost of a battle is such that even if one wins, it is quite often a pyrrhic victory.

I do understand the concept of disentanglement, as I am trying to be a bit 'zen' about this, to detach emotions from the situation as it certainly adds to the trouble, but I do not think detachment and action are mutually exclusive (think Krishna's advice to Arjuna from the Bhagavad Gita).

 

[mirian]

Hi leonine,

Thanks for your response. Hex 40.5 > 47 is far from being an ostrich like attitude. It requires strength and self-confidence and following the advice would put you in a much better position to fully understand the situation and much better prepared to deal with it. What you have in mind is some sort of action, whatever it is, but your reading, in my opinion, doesn't support this line of thinking and it is trying to make you look into this from a different perspective.

 

[Sixth Relative]

Hi leonine

Seems like those actions would reduce your worries and anxiety about this property conflict. Just be careful and don't fall into excess. You need to combine resoluteness with generosity/gentleness (see the image for hex 40).

Wish you all the best

 

[rosada]

Hi Leonine,

Usually it's pretty hard to choke a yes or no answer out of a hexagram but in this case I think you've been given a strong "No".

If only the superior man can deliver himself,
It brings good fortune.
Thus he proves to the inferior men that he is in earnest.

Times of deliverance demand inner resolve.
Inferior people cannot be driven off by prohibitions OR ANY EXTERNAL MEANS (!!!)
If one desires to be rid of them, he must first break completely with them in his own mind; they will see for themselves that he is in earnest and will withdraw.
-Wilhelm

You may not agree with this advice, but it is what line 40.5 says.

m2c.
rosada

 

[Sixth Relative]

Actually, what you quoted is not exactly "what the line says", Rosada

If only the superior man can deliver himself,
It brings good fortune.
Thus he proves to the inferior men that he is in earnest.

This is how Wilhelm translates what the line says, but he is the only one translating as "deliver himself". In the original text of the line, there is no character for "himself". In the original text, there is no character to indicate that this is about "inner freedom" rather than taking action to get rid of inferior people.

Times of deliverance demand inner resolve.
Inferior people cannot be driven off by prohibitions OR ANY EXTERNAL MEANS (!!!)
If one desires to be rid of them, he must first break completely with them in his own mind; they will see for themselves that he is in earnest and will withdraw.
-Wilhelm

This is not what the line says but Wilhelm's comment on his understanding of what the line says.


Best wishes

 

[leonine]

thanks all for the replies,
regarding what Rosada and Sixth Relative wrote, while I am an amateur at best, this is why I like to look at and ponder the various translations as well as commentaries.

I'm not sharing everything about the situation as it is pretty fd up and some of the details of it would are such that they are hard to believe (I myself didn't fully believe until I saw evidence pilling up).

I can assure you that in this case, action IS required, unless I were to hope that she would somehow change her mind about her goals and methods of achieving them... that to me is a risky way of going about things... twiddling my thumbs on a train track while a train approaches.

The question wasn't about whether or not to take action, but about a specific type of action... such that iff it was a clear no type of hexagram and line answer, I would find another course of action to pursue and then ask about that.
I agree with Sixth relatives assessment:
"Seems like those actions would reduce your worries and anxiety about this property conflict. Just be careful and don't fall into excess. You need to combine resoluteness with generosity/gentleness (see the image for hex 40)."
And in fact the actions I was asking about are relatively gentle, though constraining, and not excessive, and an attitude of gentleness/generosity, or at least it's outward appearance are required so as not to clue her in to what I am doing.

Thanks for the replies guys.

 

[rosada]

You should definitely go by the translation that works for you!

 

[Sixth Relative]

You should definitely go by the translation that works for you!

Absolutely

Just don't claim "you may not like it but this is what the line says", even more if you're quoting a German XIX century comment

 

[rosada]

Uh, I think I'm misunderstood. I didn't intend to be giving orders or to say Lionine had to like it. I wanted to point out that according to Wilhelm 40.5 says external action will not be effective. I acknowledged that she might not agree with this translation/interpretation but I felt it might be helpful for her -as she had been confused by the two other authors - to know how Wilhelm translated the line. Like it might cause her to pause and consider if there was some detail she was overlooking or to ask the I Ching for alternative suggestions.
Sorry for the confusion.

 

[Sixth Relative]

I did understand that intent; I'm not talking about your intent nor your interpetation.

I'm just pointing that you can't say "this is what the line says" when you're quoting a commentary. What the line actually says and what Wilhelm comments are two different things. That's all.

I leave it here.

Best

 

[mirian]

can assure you that in this case, action IS required

Ultimately it is entirely up to the person casting the reading whether or not to follow the advice and which interpretation to take. Freedom of choice and full responsibility for what comes with it.
I wish you the best, leonine.:bows:

 

[leonine]

Ultimately it is entirely up to the person casting the reading whether or not to follow the advice and which interpretation to take. Freedom of choice and full responsibility for what comes with it.
I wish you the best, leonine.:bows:

Thanks all, and actually me is a he

 

[mirian]

Thanks all, and actually me is a he

Hi, I gathered that from your 1st post Just to clarify that I might not have been able to explain as clearly as I wanted the full scope of 40.5 > 47 but I can assure you that it has nothing to do with weakness, lack of capacity to act, or inertia. It is an attitude, a stand, that puts you in a much more efficient and powerful position to tacke an issue like the one you're dealing with. I trust the Yi that much as we've been together for a long time All the best.

 

[arbole]

How this ended for you?

I just got this answer, but after 2 weeks of a situation with a friend. And like it was something that already lived, my take is this:

Liberation > Exhaustion. Depends on your question, but you can read it as Liberation of exahustion/oppresion.

How did it go on my case? I spoke words of liberation, and those werent trusted. "If only the superior man can deliver himself", i take it as, if you can just be yourself, act with honesty... it will bring good fortune. But, in my case, your words wont be trusted (47). Maybe they are in a long term, but not after that kinda BAM.

So its kinda a bittersweet feeling, because i was saying after that, "i feel more free now". But it was the end at least for now, of my relationship with that friend.

"If one desires to be rid of them, he must first break completely with them in his own mind; they will see for themselves that he is in earnest and will withdraw."

This rings true. I first break free in my own mind, what let my speak to him with honesty and with no fear of "Oh, but i need to take this considerations because this or that, or im going to end alone? etc, etc, etc". Which for me, its dosent say that you shouldnt act, but for acting, you need to feel that you are doing the "right" thing, at least for you.

I think it goes to 47, because its not a calm scenario. But the higher hexagram, turns from THUNDER to LAKE. First you have thunder, then lake.


At least, thats my take.

 

[leonine]

It worked. While I wisely remain ever vigilant (she is sneaky), thus far she has been unable to cause me further trouble (which doesn't mean she isn't looking for an opportunity) and has actually been kissing my behind (which is most likely an attempt to get me to lower my guard)... in short, for the time being, the witch has been muzzled.

 

[GreenHazel]

Hi leonine,

I think that hex 40.5 > 47 is saying that only you can liberate yourself. That the situation is getting you stressed out and drained (47) that goes without saying. But the point is you have to disentangle yourself from this Game of Thrones scenario by taking a step back, getting your confidence back and not letting her have all this negative effect on your life. This kind of liberation that line 5 talks about comes from yourself, from within, and not from any external action. Once you realise that she does not have this power over you then you are free. As for any intention that she might have to illegitimately take control of family inheritance there are laws, you know, to protect people from that sort of thing.

This. I think you are spot on. I have just got the same line 40.5 to 47 asking if I should seek the help of a specific doctor for healing and I guess the answer you gave applies to me as well. Looking support within me instead of looking elsewhere. It's so hard sometimes, but istinticvely, I know this is the right thing to do. Thank you for having worded this so well.