43.1 to 28 to find people

[mariella]

HI, since I feel alone, today I asked What shall I do to find people ok for me? I did not ask friends, or a new love, just people. It's just something for me now to find someone who can share interesting things.
I've got 43.1 to 28 and I am not able to understand. It seems I have to decide by myself where to go (but this was exactly the problem) and I have to communicate (but the problem is to who?). And does the line 1 says I cannot force and I have to be alone? Please let me know

 

[Trojina]

HI, since I feel alone, today I asked What shall I do to find people ok for me? I did not ask friends, or a new love, just people. It's just something for me now to find someone who can share interesting things.
I've got 43.1 to 28 and I am not able to understand. It seems I have to decide by myself where to go (but this was exactly the problem) and I have to communicate (but the problem is to who?). And does the line 1 says I cannot force and I have to be alone? Please let me know

The line says from Hilary's translation in wikiwing

'Vigour in the leading foot.
Going on without control, to act is a mistake.'

First of all we are in hexagram 43 so this is all about declaring who one is and what one stands for. It's 'Here I am'. Now in line 1 it looks like one is quite eager to say 'here I am, this is what I think, this is who I am' for example, there's a lot of energy, vigour, enthusiasm around doing this. But this vigour isn't appropriate here because it's too self determined, almost blind, it can end up where it doesn't want to be and this can all be too much (hexagram 28).

I think perhaps Yi might simply be saying that if you are looking for people with whom you can share specific views/orientations etc that's not the best direction for you right now. You are maybe almost too determined that these people will be able to share your views. Hard to explain...it would be like someone believing in UFOs to take a random example, being passionate about them and needing to talk to someone about them, trying to find the right people to talk to about them....and then suppose they got 43.1 ? I don't think it would be saying they must be alone I think it might be saying they'd be pushing things too vigorously in one direction 'let's talk UFOs' when the relationship itself maybe needs to come before all that and in many ways the relationship itself is more important than that.

I'd think it's definitely time to drop any kind of agenda about the right kinds of people for you...just talk to anyone. It's a lot of fun just talking to any one who is around and there's less pressure too. I do think 43.1 is telling you to ease off the pressure, the vigour, the desire to find the right people for you. This won't have to mean being alone, it's just the whole thing can be less directed.

That's what I see in the cast, others will probably be able to see other aspects.

 

[mariella]

Thank you Trojina, you are so kind and what you say seems good, except for the fact that since I do not have a big ego, I am just trying to build a self with transcendental meditation, I do not think my error could be to much "Here I am, this is what I think". It might be instead that I am still too much in the bad dimension of feeling too much my problems (and my loneliness), and many say that this could be a thing that people feel even if you do not speak and they do not like too much...Ciao

 

[Trojina]

Thank you Trojina, you are so kind and what you say seems good, except for the fact that since I do not have a big ego, I am just trying to build a self with transcendental meditation, I do not think my error could be to much "Here I am, this is what I think". It might be instead that I am still too much in the bad dimension of feeling too much my problems (and my loneliness), and many say that this could be a thing that people feel even if you do not speak and they do not like too much...Ciao

I didn't say anything about a 'big ego'. 'Here I am, this is what I think' doesn't have to mean a big ego, it's just natural human self assertion, wanting to say who you are. I don't see anything wrong with that and indeed it is the essence of 43, holding the speaking staff, see LiSe on it, but in line 1 there is too much impetus to go forward when it's not time.

You haven't said what you think your answer means.

I learned transcendental meditation in 1975. I still do it now and then.

Anyway you misunderstood my response but never mind.

 

[mariella]

I am sorry Trojina! But since I am not at all positive I thought the answer was saying me I was wrong. Saying too much here I am seems a bad thing. So as always I understand I have to stay in my place and do nothing. But this is only because I am not sure of myself...and I am not able to overcome this mood. Thank you so much for your kind answers!

 

[Trojina]

I am sorry Trojina! But since I am not at all positive I thought the answer was saying me I was wrong. Saying too much here I am seems a bad thing. So as always I understand I have to stay in my place and do nothing. But this is only because I am not sure of myself...and I am not able to overcome this mood. Thank you so much for your kind answers!

No need to apologise at all Mariella, I don't think I explained myself well and anyway could be way off the mark. Going back to your question

HI, since I feel alone, today I asked What shall I do to find people ok for me? I did not ask friends, or a new love, just people. It's just something for me now to find someone who can share interesting things.
I've got 43.1 to 28

On that day you asked what to do to find people okay for you, just people to share stuff with. Yi seemed to say 'don't set out on this' or at least 'don't set out with this mindset or intention' perhaps. 43 declares intention which is part of self assertion as in 'I am going to do this', here 'my inetion is to find the right people to be with' and Yi answers with

'Vigour in the leading foot.
Going on without control, to act is a mistake.'

I agree it is a difficult response to make sense of.

I guess as you say it could mean it's actually good for you to be alone right now. Well often it is beneficial to be alone but it's scarcely beneficial to feel lonely although it's unavoidable at times.

I wondered what could be wrong with having this intention to find the right people...oh and also coincidentally on the day I responded to you later I was looking through old journals from 1989 and I found I had asked exactly the same question ! I can't read my own writing well but it seems first I had asked about something social and got 8.3....I had then asked 'If they wrong people who are right people !?' and got 31.4. So that was nearly 30 years ago so it's strange I was responding to you on the day I uncovered a similar question of my own from the mists of time.

Looking back with hindsight, Yi aside, I know how I'd answer my younger self but it is hard to explain. It's something like the idea of the 'right people' is to do with one's own sense of identity (43) that is that there are people who will suit one's identity but in reality there are just people who walk alongside you for a while experiencing what you are experiencing in the environment. You said you weren't asking about lovers or friends, just people and I think 'just people' are very important in life. Indeed 'just people' can often make the unbearable bearable which is why even sitting in a café with people around you can sometimes just make one feel better.

So the only reason I could see that Yi was seeming to say to you not to rush into the intention of finding the right people was that the very notion of the 'right people' might actually get in your way of just being with people. Generally people involved in the same activities, even if they may not become close friends, soon become companionable and so reduce feelings of isolation. I'm wondering if the idea of the 'right people' might increase a sense of isolation and that was what Yi was warning you about.

Practically just doing things with other people, shared interests or recreational things inevitably supply you with people. They may not be the right people in the way you were thinking of but they can be the right people for that time. BTW where I live they have this website called 'meetup' where people just get together for every conceivable interest you can think of. Anyone can start a group, however weird the interest and they can arrange with others they don't know to meet up. These kinds of things are more likely to be in cities though.

What I was trying to say in my first post I think was your own sense of identity might, unconsciously be determining who the 'right people' are when in fact the right people to be 'just people' are all around you. That has nothing to do with egotism or anything like that, it can be just the way we tend to think of ourselves.

Apart from all that I'm stumped as to what 43.1 might mean here. Of course 28 is the relating hexagram where one has to be alone in order to move away from unsustainable situations.

Let melook at the line pathway

43.1
28.1
28.6
44.6

The theme there looks to be around extreme care versus getting sucked in, being overwhelmed. Hmm well there's another angle on it. 43.1 is asking you to be careful before jumping into things and if that is the case then it is as you first said almost like Yi is saying not to rush into seeking people which is like it's saying to stay alone


I wonder if anyone else has some thoughts about this reading, I seem to have run out.

Perhaps you could ask other questions from different angles to clarify things. I think if I had this answer I might ask Yi some more questions . You could ask Yi to confirm if being alone now is a good thing for you ? Although the thing is even when alone in life it's still good just to have people to connect with when you want to.

 

[mariella]

You are so nice Trojina! And ehm well the Yi is so subtle, and we have to think about the sentences a lot. Instead rushing for an answer to find a solution, we usually need to simplify. A big mistake But you reached the point: since I go in a community garden and in a Gym, and sometimes I work with many people, I have of course people around me. I am feeling alone because they are not exactly like me. And Yi is giving me a lesson: it's right that thinking to the 'right people' might increase a sense of isolation, but also probably I have to try to be positive of what I have now (even if the people I met never ask me to sit in a cafè).
Anyway I asked the question you proposed. The answer is 52.3 to 23. Which I wonder if means that I have to stay where I am and find my point of balance, alone or with the kind of people I meet now. But James DeKorne Editor interpretation of line 3 is in B "enforced inaction is suffocating to a free spirit". That is exactly what I feel. But I do not know if Stripping away means I have to go in a new dimension, forget all about people and let the life goes on as it is for me now, without any desire. Ciao!

 

[Trojina]

Anyway I asked the question you proposed. The answer is 52.3 to 23. Which I wonder if means that I have to stay where I am and find my point of balance, alone or with the kind of people I meet now

.

The last thing you need to do in 52.3 is to try to stay still. 52.3 shows your head and your heart are not in agreement and so you feel torn or there is an irritation around the solar plexus as if the upper and lower parts of your body are going their own way so you feel divided. The solution is not to seek further stillness but to identify what you really want to do and do it. Forcing stillness when it isn't time to be still isn't good for you here. Taking this together with 43.1 is some task to decipher.

I suspect it may be the case that some of your ideals might be getting in the way of your own impulses ? Perhaps you need to give your own desires and impulses more freedom to move and take you where they will without being too concerned about whether the people you happen to be around are suited to you.

but also probably I have to try to be positive of what I have now (even if the people I met never ask me to sit in a cafè).

Sounds difficult, but don't lose heart, just keep on talking to people where you find them.

 

[mariella]

Hi Trojina, My only desire now is to end the film I am editing now, and is almost at the end. I would be very pleased to share this work (impulse) with someone else, but I also know that documentary is a one man band artwork, At least I would be very pleased to have a coffe or a dinner with someone non related with the film, just to know what she could think about, but also do not speak at all about the film. But probably I have to get out of my loneliness dimension. If I think too much I am alone I am out of every game. I have probably to be nice with my dimension (43), take it easy, and still try to search, do not stop hoping. Thank you very much!