43.2.3.5 to 51

[schalimar]

Good morning all.

I 've been trying to avoid my attachment for someone I have dated a little while, but really intensly (almost everyday during 2 weeks ?! - until last week end).

We had this wierd discussion that made me scared, and I am currently controlling myself not to ask him to go out again, even though we have almost speak everyday since the last time we saw each others (maybe i should admit that i was the one that made up everything between him and I, and I am the one still writing him).
He is answering me, but clearly seems not into it anymore.

So i ve ask the Yi if it would be better for me to cut contact and let go before appearing as a stalker or whatever.

I got: 43.2.3.5 to 51.
What do you think?

Thank you!
Have a nice day
:bows:

 

[schalimar]

To all reading my post,
Maybe Should I also precise I ve asked about the situation going on with this person a few days ago and I got an Unchanging 44.
I felt like the young described lady in this hexagram: taking control of a situation since the beginning, being super present,independant and fusionnal at the same time with an older man just met. Truth is I was avoiding myself and lots of others things by being close to him t this time.
He was really into it at the beginning but finally told me after 2 weeks of intensity that he thought we were really different.

However, and with the small distance we took, I am realizing I liked being close to him for real. But now I feel block, not knowing if I should let him go or tell him the truth : I want to see you again.

Thanks for your understanding and help.
All the best,
Schalimar

 

[foxx777]

Hi: I have been in your position : Seems to be part of my nature that I am never the one who cools off, but always the one who becomes intensely attached and keeps trying ................

43.2.3.5 > 51

. Right now I have used up my daily quota at the Berkers online text which I so dearly love, but you should consult it at eclectic energies for added insight. ( I also am unable to paste links right now)

43 is about Breakthrough and Resoluteness :

Its image is that of persons appearing at the Royal Court and denouncing someone as a criminal, while being aware of the danger in doing so. But they have had enough. They are advised that modesty and caution will see them through.

• Line 2 : A cry of alarm at night: Fear not : Your skill has enabled you to anticipate this current dilemma. It has not really caught you unawares.
• line 3: A need for removing oneself and self reflection.
• line 5: Ha, this line I love under the Lofting's rendition: "He has escaped quickly; perhaps too well?" This could be your man.

The relating hexagram 51 is double thunder: Shock and awe. Testing times but advantageous. I think you are going to be able to do some damage control here. Perhaps there is something in you which is "criminal": i.e., getting too intensely attached, which needs to be denounced at "the Royal Court" (one's subconscious). A bit of aloofness may have him at your beck once more....

And 51 is the sort of shock that comes and spurs us on to solve things:

We should not let go of the sacrificial ladel as thunder booms around us: We know that we must remain calm and keep with the task at hand. We are not overly concerned, as we had subconsciously anticipated just such a shock.

 

[foxx777]

You mentioned you got 44 as well. Same thing you need to work on: Being less bold, less strong in your delivery, more aloof, giving breathing space for things to grow. But boy can I relate to your dilemma!!!

 

[foxx777]

Also ask the I Ching RE the "weird discussion that got you scared": what is its meaning for him? For you?:bows:

 

[foxx777]

More on 44:

You want the intensity to build up quickly, but it scares people off. I can say this to you because I have been so similar. Line 5 of 44 is where you want to get: Where the melon is concealed in leaves, and then drops, ripe, from heaven. This is what you need to get to.....Patience...get involved with other things, while still planning on returning to him for a second chance if possible...

 

[schalimar]

AHahaha.
The court supreme is aware. I m starting a kinda therapy to learn how to love myself as an intense person, and so being able to love, in peace and freedom. What a thing!
I ve the tchen trigramm tatooed on me for years.... Thunder, just for you to know who I am...

But I am deeply willing to change my mecanisms.
I understand everything you said. I should just give time to time I guess, and follow my path. But should I tell him srtaigh away I want to see him again? Or leave time and space do their work. I guess the second choice.

WHat happened to you?
Thank you a lot Foxx. Got a good feeling with you today, and i m not disapointed.

 

[foxx777]

Ha, glad to know you are not disappointed! I am glad you are willing to work on yourself. It is not easy, but we must.

I would say you should tell him that you think it is best to leave off, but perhaps at some point in the future can meet for a drink as friends. He will see you are being reasonable, and then let time and distance do the rest for a bit....

Oddly, in the very worst experience with a man I was obsessed with for 4 years, who had someone else, and avoided me and caused unsurpassed agony , we wound up married for 21 years, raising a son together. I am his widow now. Truth stranger than fictions sometimes...

 

[schalimar]

Life is always suprising by its cycles. Take good care of yourself. I will let you know!

Have a good day.

 

[long yi]

You two have different personality, beliefs and ideals. This easily leads to disagreement and arugment wherein no one will back down. It is impossible to have a long term relationship
(hexagram 43)

Line 5: time to make the break.

Hexagram 51: one of the 8 pure hexagram. The upper trigram and lower trigram is the same.
This hexagram represents confrontation between male and female. Break up and that is.

No need to read via six line method.