44 (5,6) changing into 32

[florecilla]

Hello, everyone, I asked How is our relationship going to evolve? and I got this hexagrams. I have read some readings in the index, but I got a little bit confused, so I decided to ask for your insights for this question. Thank you in advance.

 

[ginnie]

What kind of relationship is this? A man-woman relationship? How long have you known each other? It would be helpful to have a little background ... Also, you're supposed to make an attempt to give your own interpretation before we jump in with additional feedback.

 

[florecilla]

This relationship started in January, with an old (male) friend. The connection has been great, we get along real well, there is a real good friendship and also physical attraction. We live four-hour-drive from each other, and we have seen each other once a month, more or less and call each other twice a week. We care a lot for each other.
I have read in the forum about this combination, and I would like to see it as something that is going to last the way it is. However, I don't like hex 44, especially line 6, because it seems that the meaning is to stop everything and retire, hex 44 sounds as if everything is superficial and all about sex, and that is not the way it is. You see, I don't know, I am confused.
Today I have asked two more questions:
What is happening (to me) with J? I got 50 (6), changing to 32 (again). I think it is quite positive.
What should my attitude be with J? I got 31 (1, 2, 6) changing to 1. I think it means, in general terms, to be patient and respectful.
What do you think? I would love to read your insight.
Thanks so much in advance.

 

[ginnie]

You may not be aware that Hexagram 44 seems to always spark a lot of controversy. Perhaps the most important thing about it from your point of view is that you, someone who would normally take the back seat and not make initiatives, has here gotten in the driver's seat. Right now you're the one in charge.

Hex 44 signifies a magnetic attraction and if it's very strong we do indeed tend to get confused and ask what is going on.

Since you both don't live together, I can envision this relationship going on for a long time the way it is now. It's a series of once-a-month encounters with phone calls in between. You meet and then that's it -- until the next time.

Is it that you want a different kind of relationship with this man?

 

[florecilla]

Do I want a different relationship with this man???? Well, there is a part of me as a woman that wants to settle and follow conventions, in that sense, yes, I want a different relationship... but there is another part of me that has other values and doesn't want to follow conventions, and I am realistic enough to see that things cannot be different, at least for now...
Yesterday, after spending a great weekend with him, as I was driving home, I started to think and I got a little bit afraid of the future between us. That is why I asked this question.
On the other hand, I would like to know what you think about my other two questions. Would you mind giving me your insight? Again, thanks a lot for your time and wisdom.

 

[ginnie]

What is happening (to me) with J? I got 50 (6), changing to 32 (again). I think it is quite positive.
What should my attitude be with J? I got 31 (1, 2, 6) changing to 1.

The only thing I understand clearly about your two readings is that Yi is advising you not to talk so much !!!

This is a relationship that contains intense energies, not the everyday, routine sort.

Back to your main question of how this relationship could evolve: Hex 44 is said to be the hexagram of brief encounters and meetings and perhaps it is not a settle-down kind of reading. That is not to rule out marriage, either. That all depends on the two of you.

I get the feeling you were attacked by a type of miserable "what if" thinking on the way home from the weekend. You had the feeling you wanted more security in the form of a live-in relationship. Your greatest security might be to understand that those are just fear thoughts, based on common apprehensions about the future which many people have, not just you. Since 32 is the hexagram of a long-term marriage, I wouldn't rule out the idea that marriage is in the future for you. But please don't move in together because you are personally afraid of the future! Dedicate your relationship to bringing out the best in each other or to some other generous ideal that will give it staying power and beauty.

 

[foxx777]

I think Ginnie's input has been excellent, and I cannot add much of anything but to say that when I was in my early 20s, I had the same type of once a month relationship which you describe, and I had many drives home where I would actually go cold all over, wondering what on earth the future held.

For what it is worth, after a 4 year period we were married, we had a son, and were together for 21 years, until his death in 2006. Back then, I never thought it would actually happen (indeed, many people told me to give up the once a month thing, that it would never amount to anything).

I think 50.6 >32 shows that the cauldron will transform the contents into something enduring, and that is auspicious in the extreme.

 

[florecilla]

Thank you both for your words!!
I suppose my fears also come from experiences in the past, last year I had my heart broken/torn and it took me months until I felt better, it was awful, believe me.
The amazing thing is that I receive more love, care and affection from J than I have received before in any normal relationship I have had.
Our encounters (sometimes for a weekend, sometimes for a whole week) are full of conversations, walks, visiting other friends, among other things (you know what I mean...).
Until last sunday (when I started to think about future and my fear of losing...) I have lived all this in the Present, without thinking on what may happen next. I have always thought of this as a gift I was given for the awful time and depression I had in my previous relationship. That is why I feel a lot of gratitude for all this.

Anyway, it is better not to think too much about the future, live things as they come and go with the flow, and if it ends, be happy because it happened and learn from the experience.

Thank you again for your words and for taking the time to answer my questions, I really appreciate it.
:bows: