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45.4 > 8 - Will he come back to me or is it really over?
der_wanderer
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i am not an expert on the i ging, but you should not ask yes/no questions or put 2 questions in one - cause its kinda hard to get the answer right, as you dont know what refers to which part of the question
so as an expert on not leaving the past behind i would suggest you should ask the following:
what can i do to reunite with X?
if there is something you can do about...then you know that its not hopeless
and afterwoods you can ask more specific
good luck!
so as an expert on not leaving the past behind i would suggest you should ask the following:
what can i do to reunite with X?
if there is something you can do about...then you know that its not hopeless
and afterwoods you can ask more specific
good luck!
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answeredquestions
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Hi DDream,
I think I understand the intention of your question. You are putting your antennaes out there to gauging the situation. You just happened to phrase the question with the best/worst scenario.
8- Seeking union. I believe this refers to what you would like to happen in your current situation. You are trying to gauge the connection. 8 has a restlessness about it. It is important not to be the latecomer in this situation or there will be misfortune. Also, it has been said that when you receive 8 it is a good idea to ask yourself, 'Why did I ask this question?' and 'what is the root of my questioning this?'.
The Image of 8 is about rivers. They connect geographical areas together. They create a natural flowing union over earth. Your question could be looked at as referring to how big the river connection is between the two of you.
45 - Gathering Together. Similar theme as 8 yet 45 is about shared investments (which have a purpose). More than one working together for one same goal. Another theme of 45 is a big offering. Putting your all into something. Investing.
The Image of 45 - Water gathered on the surface. This advises to be inwardly on guard and protective because all of your investments are in one place.
Line 4 - Good fortune from a bigger picture perspective.
Maybe some key things are to be inwardly prepared. Ask yourself why you asked the question. If you feel this is the relationship you want, give it your all.
What do you think?
Take care,
AQ
Hi,
Thanks to both of you for your replies.
I asked the question because I was with someone for over a month. He used to tell me he felt the same way I did. He even told me I was his motivation, that he was doing things to spend more time with me. Now, all of a sudden, he turns around and tells me he feels good with me, but doesn't think he'll ever be in love. He seemed pretty sure, but I told him perhaps we should spend time apart without talking to each other to see how we would feel. I said it would confirm how he really feels about me, either he really doesn't want to see me again or he'll miss me and he'll want to start over again.
This is where my question came from. I wanted to know, based on our agreement to not see each other to see how we would feel, what would happen. Would he come back to me or would it be over between us. I don't feel it was a "Yes or No" type of question. It was more of a "What will happen now between these two scenarios". I honestly don't think he will change his mind, but I thought the reading was somewhat good...
Your reading could be accurate, answeredquestions. It's true that I'm hoping to seek union and it's true that I tend to put all my investments in one place. However, do you have a different interpretation now that know the actual context of the question?
Thanks to both of you for your replies.
I asked the question because I was with someone for over a month. He used to tell me he felt the same way I did. He even told me I was his motivation, that he was doing things to spend more time with me. Now, all of a sudden, he turns around and tells me he feels good with me, but doesn't think he'll ever be in love. He seemed pretty sure, but I told him perhaps we should spend time apart without talking to each other to see how we would feel. I said it would confirm how he really feels about me, either he really doesn't want to see me again or he'll miss me and he'll want to start over again.
This is where my question came from. I wanted to know, based on our agreement to not see each other to see how we would feel, what would happen. Would he come back to me or would it be over between us. I don't feel it was a "Yes or No" type of question. It was more of a "What will happen now between these two scenarios". I honestly don't think he will change his mind, but I thought the reading was somewhat good...
Your reading could be accurate, answeredquestions. It's true that I'm hoping to seek union and it's true that I tend to put all my investments in one place. However, do you have a different interpretation now that know the actual context of the question?
answeredquestions
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I actually have more questions than answers. If you honed in on 45 being about investing in something, what do you personally feel that would be referring to? I think the answer to that could be a big part of it. Do you think it is referring to investing in the relationship or maybe investing in yourself, getting yourself together or perhaps something completely different?
And thank you for coming back and clarifying. It does make the whole read different to know that you both have an understanding about the situation and have openly communicated it.
The move is his to make, so I would like to say, maybe this answer is referring to yourself and protecting your heart incase he does not choose to come back, investing in yourself. But it can be taken in the opposite way as well, that the investment should be towards him. Keep us posted.
And thank you for coming back and clarifying. It does make the whole read different to know that you both have an understanding about the situation and have openly communicated it.
The move is his to make, so I would like to say, maybe this answer is referring to yourself and protecting your heart incase he does not choose to come back, investing in yourself. But it can be taken in the opposite way as well, that the investment should be towards him. Keep us posted.
answeredquestions
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Also, 45.4 the line says 'Great good fortune, no mistake.'
Something is at work for your betterment. A higher force is at work, and you do not need to force anything (you seem to be doing just that which is very good). Maybe look at the Fan Yao of this line (Fan Yao is looking at the line in reverse aka looking at 8.4) it might give you a richer meaning of the energy of the line. Take care.
Something is at work for your betterment. A higher force is at work, and you do not need to force anything (you seem to be doing just that which is very good). Maybe look at the Fan Yao of this line (Fan Yao is looking at the line in reverse aka looking at 8.4) it might give you a richer meaning of the energy of the line. Take care.
Thanks, answeredquestions.
Well, I haven't received any messages from him. Considering he contacted me the same evening to tell he didn't want to lose me after telling me he still wanted to meet other people, I think it's safe to say he probably won't come back. I was hoping he would text me, but if he doesn't regret what he told me by now, why would it regret it more in 2 weeks? Does it usually take a long time to regret the things we've done or said or to realize the mistakes we've made? I don't have a feeling he'll come back.
You mention, "Something is at work for your betterment. A higher force is at work, and you do not need to force anything (you seem to be doing just that which is very good)." What exactly do you think is at work? Does it mean that no matter what happens, it will be for the best in the end? I wish something was at work to save this relationship and that spending some time apart will fix things, but I just don't have any hopes...
Of course, I didn't want to force things. I admit that I tried to somewhat persuade him when we started talking last night about that. However, at the end, I just told him perhaps he would be better to stop the conversation here, go our separate ways for a while and see how we feel. He asked to at least give him some news eventually and I said it would take a while. He told me I could contact him at anything if I ever needed to. I told him good luck with his projects and he thanked me. He said to please be more confident and to not lose confidence because of this or this experience. I just said I was starting to gain confidence with him, but it was hard to still be at the moment. Then, I just said goodbye and that was it... I haven't contacted him and he hasn't either. Do you think it's really over? Are there really any chances he could come back to me later on? I honestly don't know how I will make it through. This is so hard and I'm so low right now.
Well, I haven't received any messages from him. Considering he contacted me the same evening to tell he didn't want to lose me after telling me he still wanted to meet other people, I think it's safe to say he probably won't come back. I was hoping he would text me, but if he doesn't regret what he told me by now, why would it regret it more in 2 weeks? Does it usually take a long time to regret the things we've done or said or to realize the mistakes we've made? I don't have a feeling he'll come back.
You mention, "Something is at work for your betterment. A higher force is at work, and you do not need to force anything (you seem to be doing just that which is very good)." What exactly do you think is at work? Does it mean that no matter what happens, it will be for the best in the end? I wish something was at work to save this relationship and that spending some time apart will fix things, but I just don't have any hopes...
Of course, I didn't want to force things. I admit that I tried to somewhat persuade him when we started talking last night about that. However, at the end, I just told him perhaps he would be better to stop the conversation here, go our separate ways for a while and see how we feel. He asked to at least give him some news eventually and I said it would take a while. He told me I could contact him at anything if I ever needed to. I told him good luck with his projects and he thanked me. He said to please be more confident and to not lose confidence because of this or this experience. I just said I was starting to gain confidence with him, but it was hard to still be at the moment. Then, I just said goodbye and that was it... I haven't contacted him and he hasn't either. Do you think it's really over? Are there really any chances he could come back to me later on? I honestly don't know how I will make it through. This is so hard and I'm so low right now.
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answeredquestions
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That is what I think 45.4 means, yes.
I want to just say "Chin up!" but I know times like these are emotionally tough. Just know things will work out. Either you guys will find a strength in your relationship from this momentary separation, or you will have a realization within yourself and find out that this guy is not able to give you love and that you deserve love. The second one sounds pessimistic, but in reality, it is very good. You should be with someone who actually loves you healthfully. I know you are hoping for the first one at this point. I am hoping for this too, if that is what is best for you.
Not to suggest asking a bunch of questions to the Yi, but maybe you could ask a question just about yourself. Something not including him. Something for your self betterment, at this time. Or even advice on how to get by for the moment. You don't want to just keep thinking about the situation, even though in these kinds of times that is exactly what happens. Best to work on yourself, not necessarily distract yourself, just make yourself stronger.
Take care,
AQ
Yes. I do hope it will be option 1, but I'm realistic. As I mentioned, it's unlikely to happen. He would have contacted me by now, but perhaps he needs more time apart to realize it. Perhaps not, but then I hope I'll meet someone else who'll love me for me. I really don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't feel I'll ever meet someone else like him. So, I do hope something's at work to help me get through this because I don't know how I'll make it through. Anyhow... I followed your advice and asked two more questions:
What can I do to feel better about the situation with x?
52 > 52
What can I do to feel better about myself/with myself?
33.5 > 56
I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. What can I do to feel better?
39 > 39
What can I do to feel better about the situation with x?
52 > 52
What can I do to feel better about myself/with myself?
33.5 > 56
I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. What can I do to feel better?
39 > 39
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answeredquestions
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What can I do to feel better about the situation with x?
52 > 52
52 unchanging I have got once and very recently. For me it was a matter of calming my mind and heart and not to ask questions to myself. We constantly have an inner dialog going with ourselves. Meditation can help make that dialog clearer. If you don't already meditate you could start but this is not needed to understand what 52 is about (but it sure does help).
In my 52 situation, I was going to be around people whom I just didn't resonate with and was trying to figure out the best way to make the night a good one. Without getting into the details, I had a very successful night with this advice: Do not try to understand. Do not question why others do what they do, and do not try and understand even yourself. Just simply be at ease with the situation. Clear your mind and become like the mountain.
It is by default that 52 is skewed as, do not go out, do not do anything, do not move, things like that. I don't think this is the case. I think it just means: Wherever you go, there you are. (Not only words of advice, but also a great book on meditation!)
Take care,
AQ
52 > 52
52 unchanging I have got once and very recently. For me it was a matter of calming my mind and heart and not to ask questions to myself. We constantly have an inner dialog going with ourselves. Meditation can help make that dialog clearer. If you don't already meditate you could start but this is not needed to understand what 52 is about (but it sure does help).
In my 52 situation, I was going to be around people whom I just didn't resonate with and was trying to figure out the best way to make the night a good one. Without getting into the details, I had a very successful night with this advice: Do not try to understand. Do not question why others do what they do, and do not try and understand even yourself. Just simply be at ease with the situation. Clear your mind and become like the mountain.
It is by default that 52 is skewed as, do not go out, do not do anything, do not move, things like that. I don't think this is the case. I think it just means: Wherever you go, there you are. (Not only words of advice, but also a great book on meditation!)
Take care,
AQ
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answeredquestions
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About these questions, I think they are the same question and the 39 unchanging might be Yi's way of saying a couple of things. One that you have already asked this and two that Yi knows that you are having difficulties. I am sure there could be more to this 39 unchanging, but I am seeing it as your questioning is having difficulties.
I will try and post on 33.5 > 56 in a bit.
answeredquestions
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What can I do to feel better about myself/with myself?
33.5 > 56
I am going to start with 56
56 - The Sojourner. A picture of temporary passing through an unknown environment. In 56 it says that success is attained by small things. It is best not to make great strides and try to change your environment in large ways. This is because your environment is not something you are used to, you are foreign to it. Perhaps this is a picture of yourself searching for an emotional foothold. Maybe it is a picture of you wandering around looking for a destination within yourself to feel better.
33 - I'm going to quote this website's Wikiwing because it explains a lot in a few sentences. On 33:
Line 5 - Good fortune and praise from retreat. I am loving the Wikiwing for 33 so here is more from there:
I see this reading as a journey where you are searching for the 'door to the self'. And the answer is to look inside. The way the door swings does not matter so much as knowing that it is located within.
What do you think?
Take care,
AQ
33.5 > 56
I am going to start with 56
56 - The Sojourner. A picture of temporary passing through an unknown environment. In 56 it says that success is attained by small things. It is best not to make great strides and try to change your environment in large ways. This is because your environment is not something you are used to, you are foreign to it. Perhaps this is a picture of yourself searching for an emotional foothold. Maybe it is a picture of you wandering around looking for a destination within yourself to feel better.
33 - I'm going to quote this website's Wikiwing because it explains a lot in a few sentences. On 33:
Self-preservatation. Here to succeed, the advice is to retreat. Retreat without looking for results to follow. To do this because you are in need of preservation. I almost see this as "let go" of the past. Walk away from it. Don't hold negativity in your heart.
Line 5 - Good fortune and praise from retreat. I am loving the Wikiwing for 33 so here is more from there:
I see this reading as a journey where you are searching for the 'door to the self'. And the answer is to look inside. The way the door swings does not matter so much as knowing that it is located within.
What do you think?
Take care,
AQ
Thanks again for everything, answeredquestions. Your help on these readings is much appreciated. I just want to give an update on the situation. I received a message from him last night on Facebook. I only saw it this morning because I just didn't want to check my messages yesterday. Anyhow... He said somethnig along the lines of, "I know you don't want us to talk, but I didn't see the video you posted last Friday until tonight. (It's the video of the song "Your Love is Like Magic".) I just watched it and I cried like a baby. I feel like an *******. I don't want to arouse pity. I really do care. I just want to know how you feel/how you are doing." So, I answered him, "It's very difficult at the moment for me. I can't stop thinking about how things were and how good I felt. I can't stop crying either. I will tell you something that I'm not I should tell you, but I'll tell you anyway because at this point... Yes, I put the video for you and because of how I feel about you. Last Sunday, when we said goodbye and I told you, "... I was about to say something, but I won't...", I was acutally going to tell you that I love you. It was about to come out by itself and I was surprised of it myself. I thought it was too fast, but it felt natural at the same time. Now, I feel very stupid because I know you don't feel the same. I wish it could work between us. I wish we would continue to take it day by day without asking ourselves questions. Anyway, I have to run to work. Thanks for taking the time to ask me how I was." He also sent me a text on my phone, I think before the message on Facebook, in which he just said: "I feel so shitty since yesterday. I'm so sorry!"
And that was this morning. I didn't check my messages since then. I don't know if he'll answer or what he'll answer if he does. I know you said it was probably better to not ask questions, but I did ask some questions before I got to read your interpretations of my other readings here.
Why did x send me a messag to tell me he cried while watching the video and he really cared? 17.3.5 > 55
What does x feel about me at this point? 24.3 > 36
And that was this morning. I didn't check my messages since then. I don't know if he'll answer or what he'll answer if he does. I know you said it was probably better to not ask questions, but I did ask some questions before I got to read your interpretations of my other readings here.
Why did x send me a messag to tell me he cried while watching the video and he really cared? 17.3.5 > 55
What does x feel about me at this point? 24.3 > 36
On your interpretations of my previous readings, I think you are totally right. I think it was clear the IChing was telling me to simply retreat and let go, as painful as it is. It's hard, though, because I want to understand. I want to know what happened and what will happen. Plus, it does help me to feel a little better to ask questions and take the time to interpret them. I will try to really let go and see if he eventually comes back. I think he cares. Otherwise, he woulnd't have taken the time to tell me he felt bad and to ask me how I was. It's just that I already know he feels bad and it's hard for me to let go and forget about him if he keeps contacting me. I want him to contact me if and when he knows he wants to be with me. Otherwise, it's just more hurtful and I keep holding on. I'm still hoping he'll realize and he'll come back, but in the meantime, I won't contact him or communicate with him unless he does (like he did yesterday) and I'll try to forget about him.
Well... There has been some new development since last night. I'm more confused then ever and I'm still wondering if all that was discussed was good or bad at the moment. I'll come back later to put the details. It'll be long to write down...
Well... Yes and no. We had a long conversation and I don't have a good feeling about it. The first part of our conversation was great in my opinion and gave me hope. However, the second and last part made me like it was wrong. And I feel somewhat stupid because it's kind of my fault if the conversation went that way. We should have stopped it before it went that far, but I so wanted him to know that things could be different. I just don't have a good feeling. My intuition tells me that it's not over and that we'll see each other again, but at the same time, it just doesn't seem like there is anything to do.
Anyway... Here's the whole conversation. It is quite long to read, but I don't care if people want to see it. I think I already know what this conversation means and that's why I feel so stupid, but when it all happened, that's not how I saw it. Except now I don't even know what to do or what to think anymore.
HIM
I know you prefer us not talking, but I didn't see the video you posted on March 2 (JRDN-Your Love Is Like Magic) You know how much I hate this type of music and I never heard it before. But I cried like a baby while I listening to it.
I really feel like the worst ******* in the world to deprive you from this, from me... And I'm not trying to arouse pity. I just want you to know that I really care. I would just like to know how you are going.
ME
I'm not doing too well honestly. It's very difficult for me at the moment. I can't stop thinking about how good I felt and how happy I finally was. I can't stop crying of course. I'll tell you and I'm not sure I should, but I'll tell you anyway because at this point... Yes, the video, I put it because of you and because of how I feel for you. When we said goodbye to each other Sunday and I said ... I was about to say something., I was actually going to tell you that I love you. The words almost came out by themselves and I was surprised myself. I thought it was too fast, but at the same time it felt natural. Now, I just feel so stupid because of that because I know you don't feel the same.I really wanted it to work out. I really wanted to continue to live our relationship day by day without worrying. I felt so ****ing good.
Anyway... I have to go to work. Thanks for taking the time to ask me how I was doing.
HIM
Hi… I saw it this morning, but I didn’t have the time to respond and I wanted to take the time to think about it. Every time I meet a girl, it's the same thing... Often, I end up putting them in the same situation or I end up in the situation myself... I'm tired of it... Whether it's me or them who's hurt, I still end up having to do the mourning of the other person. My heart's broken and I'm all upside down. I so wish it would have been different, especially right now... I don't have the right approach and it's my fault if it always ends up that way. I'm just too intense and I give the impression that everything's perfect but it's because I really want to give it a chance to work out...
ME
HIM
About your I love you, I already knew. It’s another thing that didn’t help. Because of my approach, you felt so good that you felt this feeling too fast.
ME
I know it didn’t help.
I didn’t say it because I thought it was too fast actually.
I didn’t want things to go too fast.
It was already going too fast.
HIM
But it doesn’t change the fact that you felt it.
ME
I don’t know what to tell you.
I so wish I could go back in time.
I so wish I could do things differently.
HIM
I don't want to give you any hope, and I don't want to prevent you from doing your ‘mourning’ either... But I'm far from perfect and far from being always right... even on my feelings... I thought a lot about what you said, about having some time apart, about taking a break from seeing each other and talking to each other for a while to see what will happen. Not that I think it will change anything, but I think it's possible... I shouldn't tell you that because I think it will prevent you from moving on, but I think crossing over this relationship so quickly, even if I'm sure of my feelings, I think it may be too fast. I should probably wait and make sure I'm not doing a mistake.
ME
I think it’s a good thing. I doubt your feelings will change, but I think it would be good to confirm. I think, this way, you’ll know if you think about me, miss me and want to see me.
I want you to know something though…
HIM
Yes?
I listen to your Phil Collins right now and I can so feel your pain.
ME
If we decide to continue our relationship, I’d like us to start fresh. You said the other day that our relationship was on my rhythm. I think if we decide to give this relationship another chance, it should be on your rhythm. Does it make sense?
IF…
HIM
Yes and no.
ME
I think your rhythm is slower, no?
HIM
My rhythm is no rhythm. Nothing needs to be defined. No expectations. No need to ask whether we are together or not. See what I mean? The problem is that even if you take my rhythm, we won’t be at the same place at the same time. That’s what just happened. By being ourselves, it makes it complicated. But if the other person arrives there before the other one and doesn’t pressure the other one, that’s where it’s okay.
ME
Actually, you’re wrong because that’s exactly how I see things and how I want things. If we continue our relationship, I want us to see each other without a label. I told you, that’s what I wanted us to keep seeing each other to see where it would lead and that we join eventually.
HIM
But it’s so hard because even when I’m there before the other person, it bugs me, lol
ME
You know, it’s not because I was about to tell you that I loved you that I was expecting you to tell me as well.
HIM
No, I believe you.
ME
It makes me think about something.
HIM
That’s what you felt at the moment, without thinking about it.
ME
I have a friend I work with. He has a girlfriend since 3 or 4 months. The other day I mentioned that I was about to tell you that I loved you and asked him if it was too fast.
He said : Well… My girlfriend tells me every time. I don’t because I’m not ready yet, but I don’t mind if she’s telling me.
It makes me think about what you’re telling me here, that sometimes we’re not at the same stage, but it’s not a reason to stop everything.
HIM
No, I know, but it wasn’t just because of that. I wouldn’t have stopped everything juste because I didn’t like your rhythm.
But like I said, I’ll let time pass by a little bit…
ME
No, I know. I realize that. I’m just saying it’s worth looking at that point of view.
I don’t have any hopes. I know the chances are thin that you’ll change your mind or that your feelings will change.
HIM
But you are right and I agree, with the exception that the other person doesn’t make the other feel pressured (and I’m not saying that’s what you did).
ME
The last thing I want is to make you feel pressured. That’s always what I wanted. That’s why I never asked you any questions about your feelings. I told you how I felt without expecting you to answer me. The other day, it was a mistake and I honestly just want us to forget about it.
ME
I would just want you to realize that it doesn’t need to be complicated. We don’t need to feel pressured. We don’t need to put a label on the relationship or what we are. We don’t need to see each other every weekend. We don’t need to talk to each other every day. What I want is just for us to go with the flow, with how we feel.
HIM
But you made me feel that it was so hard for you to not see each other every day since the beginning.
ME
That’s not what I wanted. I’m sorry if you got that impression. I like to send a Have a good day or Good night, but it doesn’t need to be any longer than that. I didn’t want you to feel you had to do it either.
HIM
And I felt more and more pressured by the fact that you wanted us to see each other every weekend. And on top of that, that you wanted to be there from Friday at supper until Sunday at supper. Not that I didn’t like that, but that it was becoming like an expected thing.
ME
You should have told me. I would have understood.
HIM
But I NEED to have contact everyday anyway. So, it wasn’t really that. It was already hard for you enough. It would have created more problems.
ME
I would have liked for you to tell me you wanted us to see each other less. It would have been okay. If we decide to continue our relationship, I think we should only see each other when we both feel like it. Not necessarily every weekend.
In other words, it as I was saying, that we take it more slowly.
We see each other less, only we really feel like it.
We enjoy the time we spend together and see where it will lead. It’s as simple as that.
HIM
I will definitely be that way if we continue.
IF…
ME
Yes, IF.
I just give you my point of view.
Like I said, if we continue, I really want us to start fresh. In other words, I want us to do like it was the first time we were meeting. Back to square one.
HIM
Yes, we’ll take it that way if we get to that point.
ME
I think it’d be a good approach.
I’d like to add something…
I’d like to say that I would find it too bad to end things that way. I think we have an overall good relationship. We have a lot in common. We have good conversation. I think we feel good with each other. I’d just like you to keep that in mind. I find it rare to meet people with whom it really clicks. I’d really like to keep you in my life whatever happens, but it’ll be difficult if we decide not to continue.
HIM
And I agree that we have an overall good relationship and that we have a lot in common and that we have good conversations.
I’ll take all that in consideration.
ME
It's just that... I think it's worth giving ourselves a second chance to start fresh, especially if you said you have this problem often. Anyway... I want to give you space and time to think about what you really want. The decision is yours and I'll respect it whatever it is.
HIM
Yes, exactly. And thanks. Because I don't want to feel pressured.
ME
And I don't want you to feel pressured either. I want you to feel good. I just want you to give me a sign when you are ready.
HIM
And, in the meantime, if you want, if you feel like it, just like me, we come and talk to each other?
ME
Yes, of course. I think the point is to do whatever we feel like doing.
HIM
Perfect! But you shouldn't expect big, ok?
ME
I'm not expecting anything and I don't want to expect anything. I just want us to go with the flow. I don't want us to question things. If you feel like talking to me, come and talk to me. If you feel like you want to see me, come and see me. It's as simple as that. Same thing if you don't want to.
HIM
What I want is that, in the meantime, you detach yourself. That's what I want to say. Because I think it's a good thing either way.
ME
Of course. That's what I want too.
HIM
That if we come back together, less expectations. And if we don't come back, you won’t have wasted your time.
ME
Yes, I agree. I think it's a good thing.
HIM
?
ME
I don't think it's necessary to have expectations at the beginning anyway. Like I said, it's just to take the relationship as it comes.
HIM
ME
So, it's good? No expectations. No pressure. No questions. Anyway, I think everything has been said on the subject. Unless you have something to add? Otherwise, maybe we should stop the conversation here?
HIM
No, I think everything was said.
ME
Ok! So, you think about your things and give me a sign when you're ready or when you feel like it?
HIM
So, we talk to each other this weekend? If I find some time!!
HIM
Well, we talk to each other in the meantime, same thing as the relationship, no expectations and if something comes back, so be it. If not, so be it. That's why I don't want you to stay attached.
ME
Yes, if you find some time, we can talk to each other, ehehe! I have some activities too anyway this weekend.
HIM
Well, that is so good! What are you going to do?
ME
Tonight, I'm supposed to go grab a coffee with my friend Louis. Tomorrow, I have a supper, but I may have something else in the afternoon too. Waiting for the confirmation. Otherwise, Sunday, I don't have anything yet.
HIM
Well, it's not too bad. Louis, eh?
ME
Yes, I talked to you about him. It's been a while since we saw each other and we wanted to go grab a coffee for a while now, but we never do it. We were super close before. I was his confident. We lost contact with time, but still talk to each other here often.
HIM
Ah ok, I don't remember. You said you didn't have any guy friends expect your ex. I must have forgot.
ME
It's one of the only guy friends I have except my ex. It's a friend, but I don't really see him in person anymore. The last time we saw each other was in 2008. We talk to each other here sometimes, but I don't have any guy friends except my ex that I mostly see for my car. In fact, I just see him for my car. It's just that we take the time to talk when we see each other. Oh, and I have my friend Ariane that I'm supposed to see next week for her Website.
ME
It's one of the only guy friends I have except my ex. It's a friend, but I don't really see him in person anymore. The last time we saw each other was in 2008. We talk to each other here sometimes, but I don't have any guy friends except my ex that I mostly see for my car. In fact, I just see him for my car. It's just that we take the time to talk when we see each other. Oh, and I have my friend Ariane that I'm supposed to see next week for her Website.
ME
Don't think I'll do her Website.
HIM
Why not? You'll have the time now.
ME
Yes, but she wants to do it in Flash. I haven't touched Flash for years.
HIM
Ah, I see...
ME
But it’s true that I’ll have more time and I’ll have the time to relearn.
How’s your project progressing?
HIM
Not fast enough for me.
ME
You’ll have more time too.
HIM
I don’t see my friend enough and I don’t put enough time in it.
Yes, it’s true.
ME
But you’ll have more time now. Meet him more.
HIM
Yes.
ME
Maybe not this weekend because you’re busy, but maybe during the week or next weekend. It would probably be better to see him during the weekend.
HIM
Sunday night probably.
ME
Well, cool! The more you see each other, the better it is.
HIM
The more in progresses, yes.
ME
You can work each on your sides, right?
HIM
Yes, of course, but the motivation is lacking. For now, anyway. Once started, it should be better.
ME
How come? You’re lacking motivation? I thought you were really into it?
HIM
For him I mean.
I do some work on my side.
I don’t want to do it all alone.
ME
Oooooh, ok! It doesn’t help if he lacks motivation.
HIM
But when he’s there, he’s into it!
ME
At least.
Remind him of all the money you guys will do. That will motivate him.
HIM
Don’t worry. When we’re together, he’s really into it, ahah!
ME
Ahaha, well good!
Well, I’ll go prepare. I have to leave soon.
We’ll talk to each other later, ok?
HIM
Certainly.
I’ll go eat!
ME
Super!
HIM
Have a good evening and see you soon! XxXxX
ME
Have a good weekend if we don’t have to each other again this weekend.
See you soon! XxXxX
Anyway... Here's the whole conversation. It is quite long to read, but I don't care if people want to see it. I think I already know what this conversation means and that's why I feel so stupid, but when it all happened, that's not how I saw it. Except now I don't even know what to do or what to think anymore.
HIM
I know you prefer us not talking, but I didn't see the video you posted on March 2 (JRDN-Your Love Is Like Magic) You know how much I hate this type of music and I never heard it before. But I cried like a baby while I listening to it.
I really feel like the worst ******* in the world to deprive you from this, from me... And I'm not trying to arouse pity. I just want you to know that I really care. I would just like to know how you are going.
ME
I'm not doing too well honestly. It's very difficult for me at the moment. I can't stop thinking about how good I felt and how happy I finally was. I can't stop crying of course. I'll tell you and I'm not sure I should, but I'll tell you anyway because at this point... Yes, the video, I put it because of you and because of how I feel for you. When we said goodbye to each other Sunday and I said ... I was about to say something., I was actually going to tell you that I love you. The words almost came out by themselves and I was surprised myself. I thought it was too fast, but at the same time it felt natural. Now, I just feel so stupid because of that because I know you don't feel the same.I really wanted it to work out. I really wanted to continue to live our relationship day by day without worrying. I felt so ****ing good.
Anyway... I have to go to work. Thanks for taking the time to ask me how I was doing.
HIM
Hi… I saw it this morning, but I didn’t have the time to respond and I wanted to take the time to think about it. Every time I meet a girl, it's the same thing... Often, I end up putting them in the same situation or I end up in the situation myself... I'm tired of it... Whether it's me or them who's hurt, I still end up having to do the mourning of the other person. My heart's broken and I'm all upside down. I so wish it would have been different, especially right now... I don't have the right approach and it's my fault if it always ends up that way. I'm just too intense and I give the impression that everything's perfect but it's because I really want to give it a chance to work out...
ME
HIM
About your I love you, I already knew. It’s another thing that didn’t help. Because of my approach, you felt so good that you felt this feeling too fast.
ME
I know it didn’t help.
I didn’t say it because I thought it was too fast actually.
I didn’t want things to go too fast.
It was already going too fast.
HIM
But it doesn’t change the fact that you felt it.
ME
I don’t know what to tell you.
I so wish I could go back in time.
I so wish I could do things differently.
HIM
I don't want to give you any hope, and I don't want to prevent you from doing your ‘mourning’ either... But I'm far from perfect and far from being always right... even on my feelings... I thought a lot about what you said, about having some time apart, about taking a break from seeing each other and talking to each other for a while to see what will happen. Not that I think it will change anything, but I think it's possible... I shouldn't tell you that because I think it will prevent you from moving on, but I think crossing over this relationship so quickly, even if I'm sure of my feelings, I think it may be too fast. I should probably wait and make sure I'm not doing a mistake.
ME
I think it’s a good thing. I doubt your feelings will change, but I think it would be good to confirm. I think, this way, you’ll know if you think about me, miss me and want to see me.
I want you to know something though…
HIM
Yes?
I listen to your Phil Collins right now and I can so feel your pain.
ME
If we decide to continue our relationship, I’d like us to start fresh. You said the other day that our relationship was on my rhythm. I think if we decide to give this relationship another chance, it should be on your rhythm. Does it make sense?
IF…
HIM
Yes and no.
ME
I think your rhythm is slower, no?
HIM
My rhythm is no rhythm. Nothing needs to be defined. No expectations. No need to ask whether we are together or not. See what I mean? The problem is that even if you take my rhythm, we won’t be at the same place at the same time. That’s what just happened. By being ourselves, it makes it complicated. But if the other person arrives there before the other one and doesn’t pressure the other one, that’s where it’s okay.
ME
Actually, you’re wrong because that’s exactly how I see things and how I want things. If we continue our relationship, I want us to see each other without a label. I told you, that’s what I wanted us to keep seeing each other to see where it would lead and that we join eventually.
HIM
But it’s so hard because even when I’m there before the other person, it bugs me, lol
ME
You know, it’s not because I was about to tell you that I loved you that I was expecting you to tell me as well.
HIM
No, I believe you.
ME
It makes me think about something.
HIM
That’s what you felt at the moment, without thinking about it.
ME
I have a friend I work with. He has a girlfriend since 3 or 4 months. The other day I mentioned that I was about to tell you that I loved you and asked him if it was too fast.
He said : Well… My girlfriend tells me every time. I don’t because I’m not ready yet, but I don’t mind if she’s telling me.
It makes me think about what you’re telling me here, that sometimes we’re not at the same stage, but it’s not a reason to stop everything.
HIM
No, I know, but it wasn’t just because of that. I wouldn’t have stopped everything juste because I didn’t like your rhythm.
But like I said, I’ll let time pass by a little bit…
ME
No, I know. I realize that. I’m just saying it’s worth looking at that point of view.
I don’t have any hopes. I know the chances are thin that you’ll change your mind or that your feelings will change.
HIM
But you are right and I agree, with the exception that the other person doesn’t make the other feel pressured (and I’m not saying that’s what you did).
ME
The last thing I want is to make you feel pressured. That’s always what I wanted. That’s why I never asked you any questions about your feelings. I told you how I felt without expecting you to answer me. The other day, it was a mistake and I honestly just want us to forget about it.
ME
I would just want you to realize that it doesn’t need to be complicated. We don’t need to feel pressured. We don’t need to put a label on the relationship or what we are. We don’t need to see each other every weekend. We don’t need to talk to each other every day. What I want is just for us to go with the flow, with how we feel.
HIM
But you made me feel that it was so hard for you to not see each other every day since the beginning.
ME
That’s not what I wanted. I’m sorry if you got that impression. I like to send a Have a good day or Good night, but it doesn’t need to be any longer than that. I didn’t want you to feel you had to do it either.
HIM
And I felt more and more pressured by the fact that you wanted us to see each other every weekend. And on top of that, that you wanted to be there from Friday at supper until Sunday at supper. Not that I didn’t like that, but that it was becoming like an expected thing.
ME
You should have told me. I would have understood.
HIM
But I NEED to have contact everyday anyway. So, it wasn’t really that. It was already hard for you enough. It would have created more problems.
ME
I would have liked for you to tell me you wanted us to see each other less. It would have been okay. If we decide to continue our relationship, I think we should only see each other when we both feel like it. Not necessarily every weekend.
In other words, it as I was saying, that we take it more slowly.
We see each other less, only we really feel like it.
We enjoy the time we spend together and see where it will lead. It’s as simple as that.
HIM
I will definitely be that way if we continue.
IF…
ME
Yes, IF.
I just give you my point of view.
Like I said, if we continue, I really want us to start fresh. In other words, I want us to do like it was the first time we were meeting. Back to square one.
HIM
Yes, we’ll take it that way if we get to that point.
ME
I think it’d be a good approach.
I’d like to add something…
I’d like to say that I would find it too bad to end things that way. I think we have an overall good relationship. We have a lot in common. We have good conversation. I think we feel good with each other. I’d just like you to keep that in mind. I find it rare to meet people with whom it really clicks. I’d really like to keep you in my life whatever happens, but it’ll be difficult if we decide not to continue.
HIM
And I agree that we have an overall good relationship and that we have a lot in common and that we have good conversations.
I’ll take all that in consideration.
ME
It's just that... I think it's worth giving ourselves a second chance to start fresh, especially if you said you have this problem often. Anyway... I want to give you space and time to think about what you really want. The decision is yours and I'll respect it whatever it is.
HIM
Yes, exactly. And thanks. Because I don't want to feel pressured.
ME
And I don't want you to feel pressured either. I want you to feel good. I just want you to give me a sign when you are ready.
HIM
And, in the meantime, if you want, if you feel like it, just like me, we come and talk to each other?
ME
Yes, of course. I think the point is to do whatever we feel like doing.
HIM
Perfect! But you shouldn't expect big, ok?
ME
I'm not expecting anything and I don't want to expect anything. I just want us to go with the flow. I don't want us to question things. If you feel like talking to me, come and talk to me. If you feel like you want to see me, come and see me. It's as simple as that. Same thing if you don't want to.
HIM
What I want is that, in the meantime, you detach yourself. That's what I want to say. Because I think it's a good thing either way.
ME
Of course. That's what I want too.
HIM
That if we come back together, less expectations. And if we don't come back, you won’t have wasted your time.
ME
Yes, I agree. I think it's a good thing.
HIM
?
ME
I don't think it's necessary to have expectations at the beginning anyway. Like I said, it's just to take the relationship as it comes.
HIM
ME
So, it's good? No expectations. No pressure. No questions. Anyway, I think everything has been said on the subject. Unless you have something to add? Otherwise, maybe we should stop the conversation here?
HIM
No, I think everything was said.
ME
Ok! So, you think about your things and give me a sign when you're ready or when you feel like it?
HIM
So, we talk to each other this weekend? If I find some time!!
HIM
Well, we talk to each other in the meantime, same thing as the relationship, no expectations and if something comes back, so be it. If not, so be it. That's why I don't want you to stay attached.
ME
Yes, if you find some time, we can talk to each other, ehehe! I have some activities too anyway this weekend.
HIM
Well, that is so good! What are you going to do?
ME
Tonight, I'm supposed to go grab a coffee with my friend Louis. Tomorrow, I have a supper, but I may have something else in the afternoon too. Waiting for the confirmation. Otherwise, Sunday, I don't have anything yet.
HIM
Well, it's not too bad. Louis, eh?
ME
Yes, I talked to you about him. It's been a while since we saw each other and we wanted to go grab a coffee for a while now, but we never do it. We were super close before. I was his confident. We lost contact with time, but still talk to each other here often.
HIM
Ah ok, I don't remember. You said you didn't have any guy friends expect your ex. I must have forgot.
ME
It's one of the only guy friends I have except my ex. It's a friend, but I don't really see him in person anymore. The last time we saw each other was in 2008. We talk to each other here sometimes, but I don't have any guy friends except my ex that I mostly see for my car. In fact, I just see him for my car. It's just that we take the time to talk when we see each other. Oh, and I have my friend Ariane that I'm supposed to see next week for her Website.
ME
It's one of the only guy friends I have except my ex. It's a friend, but I don't really see him in person anymore. The last time we saw each other was in 2008. We talk to each other here sometimes, but I don't have any guy friends except my ex that I mostly see for my car. In fact, I just see him for my car. It's just that we take the time to talk when we see each other. Oh, and I have my friend Ariane that I'm supposed to see next week for her Website.
ME
Don't think I'll do her Website.
HIM
Why not? You'll have the time now.
ME
Yes, but she wants to do it in Flash. I haven't touched Flash for years.
HIM
Ah, I see...
ME
But it’s true that I’ll have more time and I’ll have the time to relearn.
How’s your project progressing?
HIM
Not fast enough for me.
ME
You’ll have more time too.
HIM
I don’t see my friend enough and I don’t put enough time in it.
Yes, it’s true.
ME
But you’ll have more time now. Meet him more.
HIM
Yes.
ME
Maybe not this weekend because you’re busy, but maybe during the week or next weekend. It would probably be better to see him during the weekend.
HIM
Sunday night probably.
ME
Well, cool! The more you see each other, the better it is.
HIM
The more in progresses, yes.
ME
You can work each on your sides, right?
HIM
Yes, of course, but the motivation is lacking. For now, anyway. Once started, it should be better.
ME
How come? You’re lacking motivation? I thought you were really into it?
HIM
For him I mean.
I do some work on my side.
I don’t want to do it all alone.
ME
Oooooh, ok! It doesn’t help if he lacks motivation.
HIM
But when he’s there, he’s into it!
ME
At least.
Remind him of all the money you guys will do. That will motivate him.
HIM
Don’t worry. When we’re together, he’s really into it, ahah!
ME
Ahaha, well good!
Well, I’ll go prepare. I have to leave soon.
We’ll talk to each other later, ok?
HIM
Certainly.
I’ll go eat!
ME
Super!
HIM
Have a good evening and see you soon!
XxXxXME
Have a good weekend if we don’t have to each other again this weekend.
See you soon! XxXxX
As a result of our last conversation, I asked a last question to the IChing...
What will be the outcome between x and I?
53.3.5.6 > 2
Does this mean there is still hope that our relationship can work out? Does this mean that our relationship can still go somewhere, but it will need patience and time because it will develop very slowly?
What will be the outcome between x and I?
53.3.5.6 > 2
Does this mean there is still hope that our relationship can work out? Does this mean that our relationship can still go somewhere, but it will need patience and time because it will develop very slowly?
der_wanderer
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yes
line 3: at present you have to calm down...catch your heart which is jumping around
line 5: there are some difficulties between you - thats why its not the time for a breakthrough but they will dissapear
line 6: the job is done...happiness comes
hexagram 2: be receptive and act due to the necessaties of the situation between you, not the necessaties of your heart beat rate
very clear answer (but i am a bloody scrub on i ching interpreation, so the members with more experience are welcome to wash my head :bows
yes
line 3: at present you have to calm down...catch your heart which is jumping around
line 5: there are some difficulties between you - thats why its not the time for a breakthrough but they will dissapear
line 6: the job is done...happiness comes
hexagram 2: be receptive and act due to the necessaties of the situation between you, not the necessaties of your heart beat rate
very clear answer (but i am a bloody scrub on i ching interpreation, so the members with more experience are welcome to wash my head :bows
Thanks for your interpretation, der_wanderer. :bows:
That's also how I read the lines, but I could be wrong. I'm not expert. I'm still learning to interpret the IChing properly. All I can say is that I usually have a very good intuition and I knew deep down that something wasn't right. It's weird because I was always afraid I would receive a message from him in which he was telling me he didn't think it could work out. So, when he told me he sent me a message on Facebook and he wanted me to read it, I just knew. And I was also always stressed for no reason because I had this weird feeling that something wasn't right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I just think I could feel him somehow. The feeling I have at the moment is that things are not over, but they are definitely not where they were. I feel there is still something, but all I can do is wait for him to take the time to think about things.
Ok, sorry, but I had to ask a few other questions and it's weird because I received hexagram 17 twice... I'm not sure of the interpretation though...
What will happen between x and I during the upcoming week?
17.1 > 45
There are exceptional conditions in which the relation between leader and followers changes. It is implicit in the idea of following and adaptation that if one wants to lead others, one must remain accessible and responsive to the views of those under him. At the same time, however, he must have firm principles, so that he does not vacillate where there is only a question of current opinion.
How will x act with me during the upcoming week?
17.2.6 > 10
In friendships and close relationships an individual must make a careful choice. He surrounds himself either with good or with bad company; he cannot have both at once. If he throws himself away on unworthy friends he loses connection with people of intellectual power who could further him in the good.
This refers to a man, an exalted sage, who has already put the turmoil of the world behind him. But a follower appears who understands him and is not to be put off. So the sage comes back into the world and aids the other in his work. Thus there develops an eternal tie between the two.
What will happen between x and I during the upcoming week?
17.1 > 45
There are exceptional conditions in which the relation between leader and followers changes. It is implicit in the idea of following and adaptation that if one wants to lead others, one must remain accessible and responsive to the views of those under him. At the same time, however, he must have firm principles, so that he does not vacillate where there is only a question of current opinion.
How will x act with me during the upcoming week?
17.2.6 > 10
In friendships and close relationships an individual must make a careful choice. He surrounds himself either with good or with bad company; he cannot have both at once. If he throws himself away on unworthy friends he loses connection with people of intellectual power who could further him in the good.
This refers to a man, an exalted sage, who has already put the turmoil of the world behind him. But a follower appears who understands him and is not to be put off. So the sage comes back into the world and aids the other in his work. Thus there develops an eternal tie between the two.
arabella
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- Feb 1, 2010
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I think the first casting could be interpreted to mean that you need to detach your focus from this particular situation and see what else is out there for you. You are wasting your time and effort on a situation that won't develop simply because you wish it would. You could easily miss out on possibilities of far greater value to you. Rule number one: guys don't go for the girl who pursues them anyway. And, frankly, this guy sounds very immature.
Second casting would back up the first in my estimation. So long as you focus on the unworthy, the valuable relationship escapes you. What kind of guy says that he feels bad "depriving" you of him? Wow, talk about conceited. And he gives you the old "let down" on Facebook? This is truly the bitter end. Worst of all -- he wants to play the field and you are thinking you'll hang on while he does it? This is a truly losing game and the Yi is saying, you can have and deserve so much more!
Here's my guess. You just don't have something else going on so this is dominating your thoughts and your time. As indicated by Hexagram 10, this situation needs some immediate limitations put to it. No doubt you are feeling completely horrible, and I really sympathise with that empty sense of your world falling down. But you haven't been involved with this guy all that long -- so before pursuing him regardless of consequences becomes a habit that is any harder to break, why not just give this one a miss and get on to something far healthier for you?
Every day that you can stay away and build in another direction is a great success. Figure out what else you can do with your time and step, step, step, you'll be out of this painful situation and on to something far better. As someone said earlier in the thread: keep yer chin up!
Thanks for your interpretation, arabella.
You are right that I'm probably wasting my time. I just don't know what to think anymore... I'm going crazy. Sometimes, I still have hope. I keep thinking I'll hear back from him for sure since he has to at least tell me his decision. Other times, I feel this situation is so ridiculous. But whatever I'm thinking, I'm still hurt because I didn't see this coming AT ALL. He seemed happy about it when I said it accidently. That's where I'm confused. He said he can't lie, but this whole relationship was a lie. He never told me how pressured he felt with me and I could never have guessed because he kept telling me he was feeling the same as I did. Even last Sunday when we said goodbye to each other, he said: "Come on next Friday, hurry up so we can see each other again!" He even gave me his keys in case I got to his place earlier and he wasn't there. I just... I don't understand. It really did seem like he was happy with the relationship and where it was going. We were always holding hands in public. He never tried to hide me. How could I have known he was feeling that way? There were seriously no signs prior to that and that's why I'm so devastated. I just don't understand what happened. And it's hard to let go because I really thought there was something and it was going somewhere. It's hard to leave the good memories behind. I just wish I could go back in time...
You are right that I'm probably wasting my time. I just don't know what to think anymore... I'm going crazy. Sometimes, I still have hope. I keep thinking I'll hear back from him for sure since he has to at least tell me his decision. Other times, I feel this situation is so ridiculous. But whatever I'm thinking, I'm still hurt because I didn't see this coming AT ALL. He seemed happy about it when I said it accidently. That's where I'm confused. He said he can't lie, but this whole relationship was a lie. He never told me how pressured he felt with me and I could never have guessed because he kept telling me he was feeling the same as I did. Even last Sunday when we said goodbye to each other, he said: "Come on next Friday, hurry up so we can see each other again!" He even gave me his keys in case I got to his place earlier and he wasn't there. I just... I don't understand. It really did seem like he was happy with the relationship and where it was going. We were always holding hands in public. He never tried to hide me. How could I have known he was feeling that way? There were seriously no signs prior to that and that's why I'm so devastated. I just don't understand what happened. And it's hard to let go because I really thought there was something and it was going somewhere. It's hard to leave the good memories behind. I just wish I could go back in time...
arabella
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Thanks for your interpretation, arabella.
You are right that I'm probably wasting my time. I just don't know what to think anymore... I'm going crazy. Sometimes, I still have hope. I keep thinking I'll hear back from him for sure since he has to at least tell me his decision. Other times, I feel this situation is so ridiculous. But whatever I'm thinking, I'm still hurt because I didn't see this coming AT ALL. He seemed happy about it when I said it accidently. That's where I'm confused. He said he can't lie, but this whole relationship was a lie. He never told me how pressured he felt with me and I could never have guessed because he kept telling me he was feeling the same as I did. Even last Sunday when we said goodbye to each other, he said: "Come on next Friday, hurry up so we can see each other again!" He even gave me his keys in case I got to his place earlier and he wasn't there. I just... I don't understand. It really did seem like he was happy with the relationship and where it was going. We were always holding hands in public. He never tried to hide me. How could I have known he was feeling that way? There were seriously no signs prior to that and that's why I'm so devastated. I just don't understand what happened. And it's hard to let go because I really thought there was something and it was going somewhere. It's hard to leave the good memories behind. I just wish I could go back in time...
I think the hexagram 17 image of you following something that is beneath your dignity and unreliable is what stands out here. He wants everything -- and nothing. He wants to entice you and then run the other way. The only way you are going to know anything about this guy's motives is to ignore him. Completely. Shut him off and draw back into your own dignity. Whatever else you achieve you have to make it very, very, very clear that nobody treats you this way. Believe me, if this is the "courtship" and you are spending it running after him that bodes poorly for any future. And, typically, what guys do now is the best of it. That only deteriorates over time, so not anything to look forward to here either.
That sounds like a huge dose, I'm sure. But the fact of the matter is a guy who feels so superior as he must isn't into it at all. And he isn't going to make a good longterm partner who provides what you need and deserve.
Try to find other interests, other pursuits, other entertainment for yourself and head away from this as swiftly as you can, don't get into the habit of dwelling on it and making it more than it is. One day at a time and don't beat yourself up!
I keep telling myself I need to move on, but it's very hard. I want to contact him so badly right now. I know it's better not to, even though he told me we could talk in the meantime. It's just so hard not to. I don't know what he's doing or who he's with. It hurts me so much. I don't even know if or when I'll hear back from him.
I have a question for you, arabella. How would you interpret the answer I got earlier (53.3.5.6 > 2) when I asked what would be the outcome between x and I? I thought it was a somewhat good answer.
I have a question for you, arabella. How would you interpret the answer I got earlier (53.3.5.6 > 2) when I asked what would be the outcome between x and I? I thought it was a somewhat good answer.
arabella
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I keep telling myself I need to move on, but it's very hard. I want to contact him so badly right now. I know it's better not to, even though he told me we could talk in the meantime. It's just so hard not to. I don't know what he's doing or who he's with. It hurts me so much. I don't even know if or when I'll hear back from him.
I have a question for you, arabella. How would you interpret the answer I got earlier (53.3.5.6 > 2) when I asked what would be the outcome between x and I? I thought it was a somewhat good answer.
As you cast this for the outcome, I would tend to see it as a circling plane that has trouble landing anywhere. I think by the time there was an outcome you might see it as the ceremonial end of something, rather than a satisfactory conclusion that is to your obvious benefit. I think that the background of hexagram 2 says that the situation and its continuation depends on your perserverance and tolerance for the whole scenario. You can keep it going if you want to -- when you stop wanting to, it will disappear from your life -- and that's really perfectly OK, as you will discover sooner or later.
From a personal point of view I'd have to ask why you want a guy who doesn't want you? Most of us have been there one time or another -- found something fizzled and refused to let it die -- and that goes for everybody of both sexes. Whatever is "requiring" you to pursue somebody who is fleeing the scene is what you have to question now. I know it''s really hard and feels lonely -- but think how lonely you will feel if you spend weeks, months, on a guy who isn't even trying? Give him the boot is my advice, take back your own. THAT is attractive, believe me.
You are absolutely right. It's not worth it. I want someone who will appreciate me and who will feel lucky to be with me. I thought about telling him that, but then thought it's probably not worth it. It's probably better to leave things as they are. This last conversation was probably a mistake on my part, but at least I didn't contact him again. I'm sure he thought I would have contacted him. I'm sure he still thinks I will contact him. If he doesn't think I'll contact him because he just doesn't care or doesn't even think about me, well... I'll still win because I won't look stupid for contacting someone who doesn't give a damn about me.
On your interpretation, that's a good way to see it considering the context. I guess when you are in the situation, it's hard to analyze the lines objectively. That's why I like to post my readings here and have various interpretations. I know I'm not always objective.
On your interpretation, that's a good way to see it considering the context. I guess when you are in the situation, it's hard to analyze the lines objectively. That's why I like to post my readings here and have various interpretations. I know I'm not always objective.
I just want to give an update that... it's officially over. We talked last night and it hurts me even more that he told me that, even though he said he wanted to think about thnigs and there was a possibility, there was really no possibility. In other words, he kind of just did that to feel better. Well, I would have prefered him not telling anything at all if it was to tell me he would think about things, but he didn't really meant it. It just hurts more. Now, it's like I have to feel and live the inital pain again. And he said that it's his fault. He made things appear perfect even though they weren't because he wanted to give it a chance. Well, I'm all for giving a chance, but please don't make it seem like it's all perfect if it isn't. Don't make it seems like the feelings are mutual if they aren't and don't make me believe that we're heading towards boyfriend/girlfriend status if you don't mean it. That's what hurts me the most. I thought there was something and I was so happy about it, after all the bad luck I had to go through. I felt like I deserved to finally be loved for who I am... but it wasn't even the case. Now, it just makes me feel even more like I'm not good enough to be loved. I'm good enough to spend time with, but not good enough to have a relationship with. I'm just so discouraged... I'm sorry, but I just don't see the light here. He wasn't just a guy to me and it'll take me a while to feel better and have hope again. I don't have any anymore and I just don't see the point of everything honestly. Yes, it's extreme, but that's how I feel. I wish I could be a robot to shut this pain off.
I'm sorry, but I just don't see the light here. He wasn't just a guy to me and it'll take me a while to feel better and have hope again. I don't have any anymore and I just don't see the point of everything honestly. Yes, it's extreme, but that's how I feel. I wish I could be a robot to shut this pain off.
arabella
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Glad you have clarity on this at last -- but I'm really sorry for your pain. I know how it hurts, although that's slim comfort I'm sure. If's it's any reassurance, the Yi says you're on the right track and there's blue sky ahead -- you can only find the guy you deserve by letting go of one who doesn't deserve you! All best of luck, DDream.XO, Arabella