45.4 to 8. Best course of action (failed relationship)

[pooja123]

In the past l have posted about a guy who was a "player". He broke my heart but returned to break it again. I"m recovering but lm so afraid he will approach me again. He can be the nicest friend but l can't be friends with him. He returned in hopes of keeping me as a friend. But it is too soon as l was still recovering. And so shit happened between the two of where we decided not to be in touch.

I want to forget him but l have this feeling he will return again. I asked Yi what should l do with regards to X? I think Yi.is asking me to go out there and socialize with other people (45.4 to 8). This will help me realize that there are other good people whom l will be happy spending time with. I hope this what Yi is saying. Any thoughts?

 

[mandarin_23]

Hi pooja123, more or less, I think, yes ... it says just not to follow him and do what he wants but to be your own center - or even hunter and to trust in your own attraction, and, especially, ability to gather people around you, which will then be right for you. Let the others go!

 

[diamanda]

I agree with you pooja, it means socialising will be fortunate for you. Especially socialising nearby (8). Also, going from 45 (a group) to 8 (one-to-one) is an indication you will soon find someone else.

He broke my heart but returned to break it again. I"m recovering but lm so afraid he will approach me again.

This is a very accurate observation. The current term is 'hoovering'. This type of person considers others as objects, to be used as and when needed, then discarded, then if needed picked up again, ad nauseam. They enjoy using and hurting others. Keeping the other 'as a friend' means they keep you as a possible future punch-bag. This type of person is unkind, thus best totally avoided. Hard to believe there are people as cruel and heartless as that, but unfortunately there seem to be loads of them.

 

[pooja123]

Thx Mandarin and Diamanda. Will enjoy life now. Phew.

 

[Freedda]

Pooja,

It seems that you may have been attracted to this guy because he brought you joy, but that turned into something that is dangerous for you - perhaps something that makes you feel confused and swept away.

I'm looking at they guy as the upper trigram - Lake (joy) turning to Water (danger, the abyss). But even just with Lake, another association is of something that is broken - with the one broken line above two solid. So, maybe instead of seeing him as a 'player' or a 'hooverist' (someone whom 'hoovers' others?) you could view his behavior as a symptom of his wounding.

And this would also make sense, that you, Earth (lower triram), might naturally be drawn to trying to heal his wounds - like someone taking in an injured cat - which makes him all the more appealing for you, and maybe hard to let go of as well. And Line 45.4 might suggest this as well: that there 'seems' to be promise here, but don't mistake one thing (joy) for another (co-dependence).

What then, might be the cure or antidote for you (not him)? The resulting trigrams, in 8 suggest two things to me: one is that you need to set firm boundaries (Mountain as lower trigram), which might mean not seeing or communicating with him for a while, and not holding onto the idea that you need to be 'friends', or that you need heal him. And second, that you should still explore (Wind, as upper) your world in different ways, and in different directions than those that lead back to him.

I'd suggest too that exploring your world can mean exploring other interests and ideas, and not just other people. And that might even be preferred right now?

Best, David.

 

[Trojina]

45.4 is where you set your standards by the highest values you have and cleave to those. This guy was married wasn't he ? So set your values above going with a married man who cheats and if he does it to her he won't treat any one else right either so why would you lower yourself to that.

If it's not the married man ignore the last bit. But anyway 45.4 is quite a visionary line and calls for your highest.

 

[pooja123]

Thx David and Trojina. Yes he was engaged. On and off. Now it's off . I'm just gonna concentrate on working on myself. Healing my self and just see where this will go. We stopped communicating. He has a lot of baggage. Lots of it!

 

[Surfergirl]

Hi I’m not an expert by any means. But I have pulled this combo before so I thought I’d offer you the interpretation I gave to myself.45.4 I read it as. Be honest with yourself. Elements Of this situation are perilous and can pull you in. Honor that that pull exists. Honor exactly where you are at (in the gathering of yourself and the elements that are still projected out in unhealthy ways) Be discreet in word and deed. And consciously choose the higher path. In doing so great fortune will befall you. I think I’d read it more as a leveling up. Meaning acknowledge what inside has drawn heart break, gather those pieces together and consciously choose better. In doing so the great good fortune will come. All that said, I’m a novice. Lol but I do wish you good fortune.

 

[Surfergirl]

Hi I’m not an expert by any means. But I have pulled this combo before so I thought I’d offer you the interpretation I gave to myself.45.4 I read it as. Be honest with yourself. Elements Of this situation are perilous and can pull you in. Honor that that pull exists. Honor exactly where you are at (in the gathering of yourself and the elements that are still projected out in unhealthy ways) Be discreet in word and deed. And consciously choose the higher path. In doing so great fortune will befall you. I think I’d read it more as a leveling up. Meaning acknowledge what inside has drawn heart break, gather those pieces together and consciously choose better. In doing so the great good fortune will come. All that said, I’m a novice. Lol but I do wish you good fortune.

 

[pooja123]

Hi Chelsa. Thanks for sharing. Definitely l need to pull myself together. Somedays l feel whole and happy. I'm glad its over with him. Other days ...hmmm. but as Yi has said..eventually l will be happy and whole.