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49.2 - 43

greenfrog

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Hello everyone

I am new to this site but I have been using I Ching for the past 6 months.
I met someone who led me to believe that he would like to get involved in a relationship with me. I fell for him but then he changed his mind and said that he liked me but wasn't ready to get involved due to other life commitments and the fact that we live in different countries. I resisted that of course and decided that I would give him space and offer my friendship. That by being supportive I would get through to him in some ways.

However I realise now that I can’t pursue this. My feelings get in the way and I will always expect more which makes me suffer a lot.

I asked the I Ching to confirm this feeling and I asked what I should expect if I put a definite end to this relationship in a few weeks time (when my next visit is scheduled). A definite end means that I stop being a friend for him and eliminate him completely from my life.

I got 49.2 and 43. It seems to confirm my thoughts in terms of getting rid of the old and allowing newness in my life… and to go about this revolution at the right time. But I don't really understand 43 here. Does it suggest that I have to speak my mind about how I felt all along? Is there something else I am missing here.

Thanks for your help!
 
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willowfox

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I got 49.2 and 43.

Hex 49.2 says that a change is necessary, you have done your best in this situation and now it is time to make that change, so prepare yourself mentally.

Hex 43 says that you must now make a firm stand because you cannot let the situation drift on any longer. Therefore, you must tell him that you cannot go on this way any more, it is too stressful, so the best solution for everyone is to end the relationship.
 

aron_woolf

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I suggest you to find a book "Catch Him And Keep Him" by Christian Carter. You`ll learn many good things about Men and relationships.
 

greenfrog

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Thank you both.
Aron, Thanks for that. I am perfectly aware that I made mistakes in the beginning unfortunately it is too late to reverse back... I was in a long-term relationship before that and I lost some hindsight on men generally.
Hopefully someone else will come along and I'll be prepared this time :)
 

bradford

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Hi Greenfrog-

The word resolution applies pretty well to 43, but it applies in both of its senses.
On the one hand it's firmness of resolve or purpose, but on the other it's like the
resolution or resolving power of a telescope - the clarity of its image. Both accomplish
their purposes, but the clarity of view expends a lot less effort. The texts of the lines
of 43 play with this tension between meanings, but the basic advice is just:

A truthful appeal ...
Nothing worthwhile in resorting to hostilities.
Worthwhile to have somewhere to go.

Simply to get the situation clear in your mind, and formulate it with clear, truthful words,
it usually all that is really needed. In the mythos of sorcery, the sorcerer, with all of his powers and magical weapons, still has no greater power over a demon than simple knowing its true name. That myth should clarify 43 a little.
 

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