50.4>18 inconsiderate behaviour

[goddessliss]

I am sharing a house with a very inconsiderate housemate. I have no idea if it will be long or short term so at the moment I am biting my tongue but sometimes I find myself getting very cranky.

For a start I don't particular like him, I mean I don't dislike him but yeah...

anyway things he does is turn on the radio and sings to it when I am trying to study, eats my food, parks in the shared driveway so I can't get in, pushes me out of the way when I am trying to cook etc.

What is the best way to deal for me to deal with his inconsiderate behaviour

Hex 50.4>18

thksMelissa

 

[hopex]

line 4 says someone is not fit for the job - 18 is asking
you to put it right

 

[hopex]

Liss - having read your other post I do not think
line 4 is you

 

[dragona]

Hi, don`t let him get away with it. Your ting has been altered and there is a bad smell of decay from it....hope he is not that bad a cook
You should try to talk to him about it tho the text suggests that is a bad situation for you in overall.
Tuck Chang advices for thins line: "Step down and give a room for better man."
http://www.iching123.com/50_text.htm
It is you or him, it reads to me

 

[goddessliss]

Indeed thankyou this makes a lot of sense to me and confirms my suspicions and the way it imbalances my equalibrium that nothing can really be done to change this, relative to him I mean - I could use a few choice words to describe him and his behaviours but bottom line is he is not suited to this position as the txt says and I just need to move on.....I had actually made a firm decision to leave in 4 weeks time about an hour before I read your replies. Further confirmation - thks and be joyous Liss

 

[dragona]

Is it me or am getting better at this?
Good luck with the move liss

 

[hopex]

I also see it as trying a new skill - find or request the
better man in him - gently raise things you would like
him to do until you leave. Good practise for other times
when people are ringing your ding !

 

[goddessliss]

Thks hopex - the new skill I am learning is to be assertive and not let others have everything their own way and also to be a lot more discerning, by being independent and aloof without totally dismissing the person.
There has been a couple of things I have actually stood my ground on or made the request to change something which he has abided with but when it is a constant it can be very draining hey! That's why I asked the question........some things are a little bit like if I say it's black he insists it's white but funny he has told me more than once he thinks I am a lovely girl???? but then again I have been abused by men who insist they looooove me -

Yep dragona looks like your gettin' better : ) xx

 

[dragona]

aww
may i ask if you are an Aquarius or have your Moon somewhere softly placed?

 

[goddessliss]

I have now asked How should I progress my relationship with Ph

Hex 26.5>9
Six in the fifth place means:
The tusk of a gelded boar.
Good fortune.

Here the restraining of the impetuous forward drive is achieved in an indirect way. A boar's tusk is in itself dangerous, but if the boar's nature is altered, the tusk is no longer a menace. Thus also where men are concerned, wild force should not be combated directly; instead, its roots should be eradicated.

The underlined makes perfect sense here so I asked - what are the roots that need eradicating
Hex 18.5>57
At first I thought line 5 meant him but I am wondering if it is actually referring to me as I have always hooked up with abusive men although my dad was not abusive my Mum was...so
I have actually started yoga classes to strengthen my inner well being more than anything and that has made a huge difference. I point this out as one of the wonderful Rosada's post suggest this as a course of action.

thks for further help if you don't mind - would love to sort this before I move on...

Liss

 

[hopex]

i still see this as a gentle process - bringing a
powerful force into docility by gentle means.

i know I interpret assertiveness with a kind of
toughness - I have a very feminine associate who
is kind of steely in a feminine way.

I love the agricultural reference in 26 tilling land
- so its all a work in progress. 18 to 57 still feels
like fixing by gentle penetration - or even that
you have already got the desired effect

ps dragona why do you ask if Liss is aquarius - do
you see aquarius as a gentle moon sign ? (as i am
aquarius moon )

 

[dragona]

ps.
"do you see aquarius as a gentle moon sign ? (as i am aquarius moon )" there it goes - the impossibility of it ..
Aquarius people can seem aloof all of the time, but actually changing moods in secret and if you happen to have your moon is some more sensitive sign (Cancer perhaps) you may be too nurturing and even attracted to men who are either seamingly strong or just in need of your soft attitude to complement theirs (do not ask me how I came to that conclusion :bag so I did say that you should not let him get away with this behavior for your own sake and it would be too stressful for you to act the way he does, as I think it is not in your nature - it is his way.. so what hopex suggests makes sense to me in terms of approach but how you "castrate the boar" in question may be actually to try the different approach, something from the different side, maybe connecting in some area of life outside the house?
It would be a process, I think - if you choose to take that course.

 

[goddessliss]

After my last post which again he just thinks it's ok to interrupt when I am obviously busy doing something (I said when I am finished I will talk with him)I tried to get him to open up about his family - he did a little bit but it's obvious there is some pretty deep wounds there so I just talked about my own stuff and how I have dealt with the wounds, he appeared to listen to me intently but really I have no interest in connecting with him in this way but anyway if it helps.....I believe my Moon is in Scorpio/Libra dragona and yes I do have a habit of attracting men - romantically or platonically who need nurturing in some way and I guess when I think about it my dad probably needed that himself as I believe his mother was pretty horrible.
Ph and I both have an interest in yoga and I did suggest he come to the classes with me, he has declined so far.
thankyou both for continuing to take an interest in my story as it is helping me immensely. Liss

 

[hopex]

Scorpio moon - thats' sensitive but also able to deal with
emotions that would finish other mortals.

Scorpio can deal with anything - is his sun sign scorpio?

Dragona - my understanding is that man goes for a womans' moon
and woman is attracted to a mans' sun

so is Liss's housemate a scorpio?

 

[goddessliss]

Oh that's interesting hopex I have never heard that before - that must be why I get hit on so much sexually(seriously) as I have always understood Scorpios to be very sexual as well. I find it quite upsetting as I certainly want to be seen as a whole person - don't we all I guess.
Housemate is a Pisces....Liss

 

[dragona]

Yep. according to this book I have, Moon is one of 4 most important planets in sinastry...simplified,
Venus position in a male birth chart indicates who (horoscope signs) he loves and what his pleasures are; for a female-how she loves;
Mars position supposed to reveal who this person wants

 

[ginnie]

About 26.5

Pray that whatever is wild and boar-like about him will be altered without your having to do much about it. Let fate do the gelding, as it often does.

 

[goddessliss]

Interesting dragona.

Thks ginnie - at the moment I am quite upset. I have been doing my best to 'give' a little bit more without you know actually taking away from myself so to speak.

Yesterday I let him know of a job that was going as he is pretty well out of work and this job had to be all done online and as he really hasn't got a clue I did it for him including typing up his resume.
Yesterday afternoon the sliding door on my kombi jammed - can't shift it to close or open. Ph reckons he's had kombis all his life but he won't even look at it let alone help me - I don't understand this sort of behaviour.

 

[ginnie]

He has ruled himself out as part of the "establishment of the new."

When we're trying to establish a new or better quality of life for ourselves, there are people who disqualify themselves from being part of that. There are people who spill our soup instead of serving it up properly.

That is the meaning of 50.4 in this case.

Line 4 is said to represent the prince in this hexagram, who is calling upon line 1, a person who disappoints and cannot be relied on. The I Ching is giving you the angle on this that makes the most sense in terms of understanding: this is a person whom you cannot rely on in your work of establishing a better life for yourself.

 

[goddessliss]

He has ruled himself out as part of the "establishment of the new."

When we're trying to establish a new or better quality of life for ourselves, there are people who disqualify themselves from being part of that. There are people who spill our soup instead of serving it up properly.

That is the meaning of 50.4 in this case.

Line 4 is said to represent the prince in this hexagram, who is calling upon line 1, a person who disappoints and cannot be relied on. The I Ching is giving you the angle on this that makes the most sense in terms of understanding: this is a person whom you cannot rely on in your work of establishing a better life for yourself.

thanks ginnie that certainly answers a lot - I seem to keep attracting people like this but I always learn - why do they disqualify themselves? have a lovely day LIss

 

[ginnie]

I seem to keep attracting people like this

Me, too.

But the thing is: He's the one who is supposed to be interested in his own deficiencies, not you.

Maybe you have a secret wish that he say: "My friend, you are a woman of great kindness and wisdom. I realize I am a taker who has disappointed many people. Would you help me gain some insight into myself?"

Personally, I don't think badness can be understood. It's just the absence of goodness. Goodness can be understood. Anyway, since he has shown no interest in self-improvement, you'd be fighting an uphill battle to get him to realize he's not perfect the way he is. :bows:

In other words, there's no motivation for him to change. Don't wonder about him so much. He's not wondering about you. Be more concerned, when you meet someone admirable, to try to be just as admirable as they are. When we meet miserable people like your roommate we must learn how to turn our backs on them and walk away.