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52.2 -> 18: Dealing with a bully

mulberry

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Hi all,

I resigned from my job last week and gave one month's notice at my boss's insistence. She at first demanded three months and insisted I was leaving her "in a lurch". But I made it clear that one month was generous and more than enough to train a replacement, who had already been hired last month in the wake of my only co-working quitting at the new year. The new employee started this week after a week's training last week.

I've posted about this job more times than I would like...some of you may remember some of the details. The essential factor is that my boss has serious mental health issues (she cries daily in the office and also goes into rages-- a very serious rager last week that involved screaming so loud it scared the office dog is what provoked my decision to finally leave).

I've appreciated all of the advice that has been shared by all of you so generously on this topic. I'm hoping you can help again.

This week, my first since giving notice, has been challenging. My boss is looking for every small problem she can find in my work while fawning non-stop over the new employee. I probably would consider leaving earlier than a month under these conditions except for the fact that my boss has promised me severance-- at the same time, she won't pin down how much. It's a bit torturous, really. When I asked for a firm figure, she implied that if I kept asking, I'd get less, so I should just shut up until I have the check.

I've helped her a great deal over the years, including covering for other employees for up to 3 months at a time when they were fired or walked off the job. Deep down she recognizes this which is why I think she is offering severance. But I also feel she is using it as a bullying tactic right now. I have a cold and her past behavior towards other employees makes it clear that if I call in sick at all this month I won't get the severance. Yet now that I am coughing in the office she is annoyed that I am coughing, while making no suggestion that I go home to rest. There is no winning.

I asked, "How should I deal with X [my boss]'s behavior today?" And received 52.2 turning into 18.

I take the reading to be a fairly clear, if glum, analysis of the situation. I do think her behavior is beyond hope ("He cannot rescue him whom he follows" in the Wilhelm translation is what I mean). I've been a good employee but she is viciously looking for reasons I've not been and I doubt she'll change. She's done worse to other ex-employees.

Does anyone have any idea how 18 might play in? I assume it means that things will get worse before they get better... I just feel quite bullied and would like to make the best of it, or find some inner strength to not let it get to me.

Thank you all for any and all insight.
 

anemos

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I asked, "How should I deal with X [my boss]'s behavior today?" And received 52.2 turning into 18.

maybe it just suggest to acknowledge that you can't help her at all, as you already said, and by accepting that, things will become more tolerable , in your mind. Its less than a month , i guess, so stick to your plan to fix your situation ( 18) and don't let her distract you in any way.
 
S

sooo

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I think you've made a wise decision.

I'd interpret 52 in this case to stand firm while not moving around, even with unnecessary words. I perceive line 2 doesn't just suggest not moving or speaking, but removing the notion that words are needed in the first place, which only builds inner tension unnecessarily. I hold that the first freedom of speech is the right not to speak, without feeling guilty or nervous. This seems the way for you to work on what's been spoiled, in you and your situation. Viva liberation!
 

dragona

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To me, hex 18 tells that you are trying to do the best you can under the circumstances. You would like to move, you made a step but cannot go further atm. The severance issue makes your position uncomfortable. But I think the cast was just describing the situation at hand. The important thing is to know that this situation is not of your fault and you cannot fix anybody and the hardest thing is to improve oneself.
Just... :cool:
 

Liselle

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Lost posts from the forum hack:

Originally posted by ginnie:

The line about rising into an empty city has another meaning of being in the service of a failing or ailing ruler, as per Whincup. I think that is highlighting the fact that she is rather erratic by nature and you can't quite predict what she will do. I also think you're right about your working so hard for "something as frivolous as slightly more money." In the long run, perhaps the severance pay will not amount to a hill of beans, as the expression goes. But you have already decided you're going to stay on 'til the end, and so why don't you do that and be a person who is as good as their word.

Originally posted by shmemily:

My experience of 18, particularly as a relating hexagram, is like when my mom says something is a growth experience. Incredibly annoying, but it's something that really is beneficial for you to have to deal with. And to me that always suggests further thinking about why I in particular am having a hard time dealing with this particular set of circumstances. Self-knowledge--watching ourselves and how we deal with things--seeds growth.
 

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