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53.2.4>44 A heavy handed oppressor? I hope not!

dooberry

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Hi all,

So I did a reading earlier this morning asking to help me choose between two people for a relationship and I got 11 unchanging. After reading the hex, I gathered that the i-ching was basically telling me "hey, I can't make that decision for you, the answer is in your heart." Soooo, I thought ok, if the answer is in my heart then maybe I should ask the i-ching to help me understand the way I feel about a certain person....

The resulting hexagram was 53.2.4>44

Well, all seems well and fine in 53 to me.... There's talk about maidens being given in marriage and development, good fortune if staying the course and companionship along the way.

Hexagram 53 is about development and there's a line in there about a tree growing slowly and staying firmly rooted. I interpret this as how I've seen my feelings for this person continue to grow over time and establish roots. It also mentions about guarding against precipitous actions, which I have been as I have been taking a long time in making a concrete decision about him.

It then goes on to talk about the development of events that lead a girl's following a man to his home proceeding slowly. Again, I do kind of take this literally only because A) there is a large age gap between me and this man and B) He has mentioned marriage. The events ARE in fact, proceeding slowly and have even had some obstacles (exterior to the relationship, not within it). I guess maybe the oracle is confirming my actions of being cautious and letting things develop slowly... It even mentions that gradual/slow process is necessary if one wants to achieve lasting results.

Then we get to the lines:

Line 2 talks about the development going a step further. Which, in the last month, I would say it did as we had some opportunity to cement a friendship in addition to the romance. Also, it speaks of initial insecurities being overcome, which I can attest to as well since some of the things that I worried about initially (i.e. the age gap), no longer bother me.

Then we get to line 4, which is the highlighted moving line for the reading and things get a little worrisome for me here...

Line 4 "A tree is not a suitable place for a wild goose. But if he is clever he will find a flat branch on which it can get a footing". It also goes on to mention that sometimes we find ourselves in inappropriate situations in which it is difficult to hold our own with out danger....

Is the oracle trying to tell me that I have found myself in the crux of an inappropriate relationship (did I mention the 18 year age gap?) and am having a hard time controlling my emotions?

Of course, it's to easy for me to want to find another explanation.

Now, here's the part that really gets me though.... It changes to 44!:eek:

After reading what that had to say, I am not happy about the outcome of this reading to say the least. Here's a few choice parts:

"A strong, addictive temptation, much more dangerous than it seems"

"You are ignoring a clear and present danger to your well-being"

"if this danger were from a heavy handed oppressor you would see it coming, but it comes to you in the form a seduction, an amusement, a diversion, an indulgence that is eating away at the fiber of your secure little world."

This hexagram is also called "Coming to Meet" and it mentions the danger of playing with something that seems innocent enough at first but can harm us if our intentions for it aren't pure.

I'm trying to figure out how this ties into to my question of "help me understand the way I fee about this person" and I'm having a hard time finding an answer because it's hard for me not to paint a negative picture using this hexagram.

I wonder if the ching is simply reaffirming what I already know about my feelings for him and warning me that if I do decide to pursue them I better make sure I'm doing it for the right reasons.

I definitely don't feel like I have this reading resolved and your thoughts on it would be most welcome....
 

ginnie

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Hexagram 44 always gets people's attention and a lot has been written about it on these threads. As your relating hexagram, it indicates a strong magnetic attraction between you both, and it does not presage disaster any more than hex 53 presages disaster. You have to remember, in interpreting, that Yi gave you 53 as your main hexagram.

As many have pointed out, 44 takes various forms and can simply mean "Going to meet," as in having a meeting with someone, even a business-oriented meeting. I'm trying to imply it is definitely not the hexagram of ruin and perdition that some make it out to be.

53.4 could mean that you reach an uncomfortable place in your progress towards union. That discomfort could take many forms but I guess the thing to remember is that the discomfort is temporary. It's a necessary step on the way to lasting union.

With 53, there's usually a difference in the level of maturity between the two, which is why the relationship must go through stages: to allow the less mature person to catch up and to allow the more mature person to make adjustments, too. A lot of internal work is involved!
 
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soleil

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Line 4 "A tree is not a suitable place for a wild goose. But if he is clever he will find a flat branch on which it can get a footing". It also goes on to mention that sometimes we find ourselves in inappropriate situations in which it is difficult to hold our own with out danger....

Is the oracle trying to tell me that I have found myself in the crux of an inappropriate relationship (did I mention the 18 year age gap?) and am having a hard time controlling my emotions?

Hi dooberry I think this line is reflecting back the uneasiness created by the age gap but it is auspicious since it suggests that it can be overcome, perhaps through tact, flexibility and adaptation.

Line 44 may again have been pointing to an uneven relationship but the following translation gives a positive twist to it: 'Although as a general rule the weak should not come to meet the strong, there are times when this has great significance. When heaven and earth come to meet each other, all creatures prosper; when a prince and his official come to meet each other, the world is put in order. It is necessary for
elements predestined to be joined and mutually dependent to come to meet
one another halfway'


:bows:
 

dooberry

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Thank you both for giving me some insight into this question. It's hard not to paint a negative picture sometimes when we get a hexagram that has such strong wording.

Ginnie, you've made me realize that A) I don't need to take these so literally sometimes and B) that many times the answer is simple and that I might be reading to far into it and making things more complicated.

Soleil, I think you have a great point about how this line points towards the uneasiness that the age gap created. Interestingly enough, there has been such a turn of events that I'm really having some time to think about what I value about this relationship and come to think of it, age is not a factor right now. I could care less about it or what anyone might think about it for that matter.

Ginnie, I have definitely reached an uncomfortable place towards my union with this person. It seems that we are taking a necessary break as I have some growing up to do and some important (and lifechanging) decisions to make before I can contact him again. Once I've come to terms with what I need to come to terms with and have made my decision, yes I will be meeting with this man again to give him the news.

Thank you both again, I really appreciate the insight that members of this board have to give on my readings and hope I can do the same for others.
 

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