53>32 Trust issues..

[angeleyes]

Hello everyone!

Just a little background information. I am currently in a stage in my life where it appears to be time for me to deal with my trust issues. I've always had difficulty in trusting people in general but things seem to get out of hand when it comes to ...men and romance!

I have been in a therapeutic process for the past few years and done a lot of personal progress. I am usually quite self aware and most of the time i find it easy to recognize my emotions as well as their cause. However this difficulty in trusting is always there and i cannot seem to be able to decode it. It seems to be a core issue but no matter how hard i look i cannot find any major traumas or abandonment issues in my early childhood, nothing as clear as that..

Anyway, at this point in my life ( soon to be 30) I have this deep need to break free from all this fear and mistrust and move on.. But in order to do so I feel i need to finally look myself in the eyes and ask what it is that i am so afraid of..

So yesterday, I decided to ask the Yi about it.. The question was :

" What lies beneath my difficulty in trusting?"
Answer: 53.2.4.5.6>32

Too many changing lines usually discourage me.. The general feeling of it is beautifull. I think it says to just keep going, working on it step by step and i'll finally get there.. Trust and commitment seem to be central in both hexes.. I find the answer reassuring but I am still left with a feeling of not completely getting it. I hardly got any sleep last night as the hexagrams, the images, the lines, the text, kept popping in my mind. There's a feeling of importance about this particular reading. Like there's more to it than " Don't worry. You're doing fine".

So i decided to post it here! I would love to hear of any insight or even general thoughts about it!

Thank you all!

 

[icastes]

53 indicates that over a long period of time things have been progressing badly (for you). In other cases, it gets better. We have a dual situation: both what is going worse also can gradually become better. The moving lines are both good and somewhat bad. Hence, we have a mixed bag of problems. The foundation of your trust problems may be likened to something that is inherent in 53, i.e., that a water fowl flies from the water to land on trees and then on a mountain (seemingly rather awkward--ducks, after all, have webbed feet, for example). It is the same with a woman who goes to strange places to marry. Hence, the cause of the trust problems is probably that you have been going to where you shouldn't be; however, having said that, this gua is also one that points to a gradual advancement and improvement in your life, because you have in fact done gone where you should haven't gone. The recognition that you have problems with trusting others is an improvement.

The resulting gua, 32, the union of an eldest son (on top) with the eldest daughter (the bottom), and indicate a couple who will grow old together. In other words, the gradual progress you make must include being honest, sincere, and guarding your position. If you do that, then your life will move smoothly. Once you get to trust someone as in the union of these couple, then you are told to maintain that position and avoid leaving that union. If you do that, then you will have good fortune.

Hey, kid, you just entered into adulthood. You have a lot of time to work things out.

 

[nahema]

I think Icastes really touched on something. Both hexagrams deal with the long term. Both suggest a commitment. And both for me suggest needing to feel your way through it. Each of the lines you have in 53 suggest a threshold you may have crossed, or will need to consider. Perhaps they represent cycles in your own trusting. A call to be mindful of where you are in your trusting within a situation.

If this were my reading, I see this not as a task to complete, but a way of stepping through life.

Best wishes!

 

[angeleyes]

Thank you both for your input there!

You tackled a very personal issue in a really delicate and sensitive manner. It is true, icastes, that i have gone where i shouldn't have gone more than once in my life . Lots of wrong choices in people as well as in attitudes, all due to this permanent fear of commitment. I am not sure that those experiences are the source of my lack of trust but they certainly only made it worse..Being honest and sincere and guarding my ground..well, that's exactly what i am trying to accomplish lately. It is not always easy but it certainly is rewarding.

Nice thought about the "cycles of trust", nahema. Made me think a lot about where exactly i might be at right now.. I remembered of a dream i had the night before the reading and i would like to share it with you:

I was pregnant(!) and the man i am currently involved with was the father. I told my mother and she got really angry and started shouting at him, telling him that he had been completely irresponsible and how on earth were we supposed to get married and have a baby ( since he is unemployed right now)! I was totally calm and told her that this was my responsibility aswell, that i had no intention of getting married whatsoever but i was certain i wanted to have this baby and knew (trusted?) he would love and support us both.

What was important to me about this dream was this calm, confident, trusting feeling i had. I had a lot of "pregnancy dreams" ever since i was about 16 or something but the feeling has always been anxious and confusing.. I see a lot of both hexes in there. I went through the lines again and stopped at 53.5: "For three years the woman has no child.
In the end nothing can hinder her."

Well, maybe i am ready to have this child and maybe the child's name is Trust and perhaps it is about time i stopped looking at my mother to tell me who i can and cannot trust..just a few thoughts...

Oh! And i almost forgot! Thanks for calling me "kid", icastes! That really made my day .

Thank you both once again. A lot of food for thought. I'm only just beggining!
A :bows: