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53.6

firehorse

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Looking for a bit of insight here, I'd appreciate anything anyone has to offer. I asked "what did I do wrong here?" in regards to a rather short-term relationship that has ended, but has left me utterly heartbroken. It was not my choice to end...the reasons being distance, too many responsibilities on both ends...and I'm not sure I agree, but I'm too close right now. I was looking for insight on my own actions/behaviors/attitudes, looking for a lesson to be learned. I really thought I was on the right track this time. The response was 53.6 > 39. On one post I read about a relationship that moves beyond sexual, another talks of reaching a high point that benefits others. Again, I'm too close to the situation to understand how that applies to me.

Can someone point me in the right direction?

I really despise the ache...I know each time I learn more about myself, but why does it have to hurt so much?
 

em ching

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I'm sorry you're feeling so much anguish over this. It sounds like you came close too - and that there hasn't been a decisive split - which makes it difficult to stop hoping.

But I think the Yi is echoing how you feel - and I'm sorry to say, it's futility.
No amount of crying can change reality into something you want.
And yeah, the Yi is also reminding you that you're so close to the situation that all you can do is shout for the romance to come back - but for now the only thing you can do with any long term benefit - is sit out the pain. Time will heal - and bring more issues to light. But for now, all you can do I suppose is be with the pain - maybe take advantage of it - eat ice cream? Write/ create, excercise, talk, maybe even laugh, about it with friends...

Hope it eases off soon.
:):bows:
 

firehorse

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Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it. I'm curious where you see futility in 53.6. I'm afraid I see too much black and white, and not enough of the esoteric...
 

willowfox

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it suggests that the relationship went as far as it could go, because after you reach a certain peak then things start to decline, not really your fault as these things happen, while hex 39 says that there were too many obstacles in this relationship for it too succeed.
 

firehorse

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18.2.6 > 15

Still looking for learning opportunities here...maybe about the relationship, maybe about I Ching...I asked, "Give me a picture of the level of sincerity of his reasons..."

18.2 talks of correcting gently...he let me down easy.
18.6 is a bit harder, i think. I've read several interpretations, but the one that seemed to stick with me was "grovelling before the facts," meaning possibly that the distance, responsibilities excuses were just that...excuses.

What are other's thought on this? Am I on track, or do you see something different? Are these reasons really the obstacles?
 
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willowfox

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I don't think his heart was truly in this relationship at all, it seems that he had higher aims for himself towards the end and simply had to retreat out of it, there were real obstacles here and Hex 15 suggests that at least part of the story was true.
 

firehorse

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Before you answered this, Willowfox, I asked one more question...What was the real reason? 50.2.3.4. > 23. I get the splitting apart. That's a given as the result.

50.2 saw something at first? Where does envy fit in?
50.3 Doesn't get what I have to offer?
50.4 Not sure I get this one at all...but maybe I do...he was looking for something better?

Ouch.

What is your take? After this...I'm done and ready to move on. Just a process I need to go through I guess.
 

firehorse

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Higher aims for himself...I just reread that in your last post. Didn't sink in the first time.
 

willowfox

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What was the real reason? 50.2.3.4. > 23.

It would also appear that someone was against this relationship, probably someone you were not familiar with, then there was the problem of distance, indicating that you could not physically enjoy each others company, it was all just empty air between you and therefore the relationship was actually going nowhere.
 

bamboo

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The only thing I would like to offer to this set of readings, Firehorse, is that there seems to be such a positive air about it. 53.6 is probably one of the more hopeful lines one could get in answer to what one "did wrong"......if anything, it seems you were someone he felt was out of his scope, a representative of that which he aspires to. and 18.6 is also a very hopeful line. For some reason, it seems his reasons for breaking it off were noble and with best intentions, not because you did something wrong. again, I get the feeling it was somehow felt to be beyond his reach, or something he felt ill-prepared to deal with. The 50 hex andlines echo this. I am reminded of the movie Jerry Maguire and how Jerry was admonished by Cuba Gooding for taking the "goodies" from the single mom, because the single mom was sacred in his book and not someone to be taken lightly.
I think this man admired you and saw much that was worthy.
I also think If I were you, I would take that original 53.6 as a reason to celebrate yourself. Sometimes not getting what we want (at the moment) turns out to be a very great blessing ultimately. someone who is sure of his own worth and what he has to offer could well be in the wings for you, that is my feeling. IMHO. wishing you all the best.
 

firehorse

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Bamboo, I think I have just fallen in love with you (but I think you're the wrong gender ;]) Thanks for that. I needed it. I thought things were great, so I really wasn't understanding at all.

Also, thank you Willow...you're responses are always enlightening
 

firehorse

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25.3

Interestingly enough, after this all went down, someone else seems to be courting me. I'll call him "Y" and the first guy "X."

I asked, "what do I need to know about "Y?" and received 25.3

Am I the cow, and Yi is saying that X lost out and Y is "stealing" me? Don't know how I feel about being referred to as a cow.... ;]

or is Yi saying simply to not put my eggs in one basket? Nothing at this point has actually materialized with Y, except that he has given me a lot of attention via technology.

Thoughts anyone?
 

willowfox

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Perhaps Y has lost his girlfriend a while back and is now looking for a new replacement.
 

tigerintheboat

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Disentangle Yourself, Act Without Expectation

Interestingly enough, after this all went down, someone else seems to be courting me. I'll call him "Y" and the first guy "X."

I asked, "what do I need to know about "Y?" and received 25.3

Am I the cow, and Yi is saying that X lost out and Y is "stealing" me? Don't know how I feel about being referred to as a cow.... ;]

or is Yi saying simply to not put my eggs in one basket? Nothing at this point has actually materialized with Y, except that he has given me a lot of attention via technology.

Thoughts anyone?

There are two translations I have in front of me of H25, Disentangle Yourself, and Innocence. It is also about acting naturally, without guile and being spontaneous. Being Without Guile also means being Without Expectations.

According to Balkin, the lines describe the consequences of innocent, spontaneous behavior. In Line 3, a bad thing happens to the innocent person, he suffers a calamity like everyone else. I don't think the Yi would refer to you as the cow...you are not property or a valuable consideration. You are a diviner, after all, petitioning the Oracle.

So the question that is often asked is whether you are the town people who lost the cattle or the passerby who found them.

In the Wikiwing, Trojan posted something about this line that might be helpful.

"25.3 has for me on several occasions meant someone else's misfortune being my gain - never known it the other way about, though I would have thought it would depend on if you were the traveller or the citizen. And on several occasions it's no little misfortune the other suffers, which makes this rather a strange line IMO. One time it was me gaining a place to live because previous tenants had trashed the place and stolen lots of stuff; recently someone else's accident meant I did not have to do something I really did not want to do. Also has come up where I did not want to go somewhere and the other person has fallen ill so I need not go, that kind of thing. I used to think the thief must be the traveller but now I see the thief as just symbolising the unexpected event that benefits one person and not the other. This unexpected generally unfortunate event has nothing to do with, is not caused by, either the one who gains or the one who loses. Its an outside third thing intervening. Trojan"

Hilary says that the paired line, in this case H26.4, represents "where this might be coming from/ what it might be responding to -". In H26.4, you have accumulated a young bull and you are taking precautions in stabling him and guarding him. In H25.3, the cattle are loose. This is where you are coming from, having had a young bull, your relationship, which is now lost.

Although you asked about Y, I think X is still in your head. And Yi sometimes responds to the larger or unasked question. So I don't think this reading is just about Y. But overall, it suggests that you be spontaneous and innocent, even though you might have had a loss, or have another loss coming. Act without expectation and accept that misfortune befalls all, and good things also come, sometimes without planning, and good can come from the misfortunes of others.

That we profit from other's misfortunes is not as dismal as it sounds; it is very ordinary. If not, would repairmen have work? What about doctors and dentists? So don't take the loss idea as something extraordinary; it is ordinary and part of life, no matter who is experiencing it.:)

Tiger
 

firehorse

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in response to tiger

Thank you for this. I did read Trojan's posting that you quoted, and that response did occur to me. Just don't have expectations. It's very easy to say, much more difficult to clear your mind (ego) of the "what could happens" or the just daydream...

Again thanks. Trying to erase the chalkboard, wash the windows....
 

firehorse

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Hmmm...nothing ever did materialize with Y. My gain, I suppose, because who needs that after all?
 

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