54.1.3.4

[zumi]

A week ago I ask Yi "what should I know about my relationship with X?" And got 54.1.3.4 to 46. I interpreted it as being secondary in the guy's life, but the line 4 seem to be optimistic about my marriage, since I am a woman. Does it mean my relationship, which I decided to convert to friendship, will last and advance? I like the guy, but he is not ready for anything serious. So should I just wait, just like the line 4 suggests?
Thank you.

 

[svenrus]

Kerson Huang gives this general view on hex. 54:

"An ancient Chinese tale of love, marriage, and court intrigue
forms the background of this hexagram. Emperor
Yi arranged for the marriage of his daughter to King Wen
(creator of the hexagrams). In accordance with custom,
the Princess went into the marriage accompanied by Taisi,
one of her younger sisters, who was to serve as second
consort to King Wen. It was the prettier Taisi and not the
principal consort who mothered King Wen's heir. The
hexagram is not an especially auspicious one, warning us
of the futility of taking action. It does, however, focus on
the many benefrts of the married state, particularly for
overcoming long-standing incapacities. By joining together;
husband and wife may compensate· for their individual
weaknesses and overcome their disadvantages. Empty,
ceremonial marriages, however; bear no fruit and bring
no benefits to either party."

and on the Judgement:
"This is not a propitious time for any new undertakings.
Any ventures begun now will end in frustration."

 

[zumi]

In my case, it's not a new beginning, so I will go for joining together to overcome the obstacles. But I don't understand if this casting is about me or him. Who needs to wait to be married later, like in the lune 4?

 

[zumi]

I know that hexagram 54 id by itself not a good omen, but what about the lines 1, 3 and 4, and a background hexagram 46, which means advancing, so does this mean this relationship brings me advance? I am not particularly looking for marriage now, but just like the line 4 suggests, I want to be married later. Does this hexagram speaks to me that I will find another man to marry? What about this guy? Please kindly help.

 

[butterfly spider]

Zumi
I distinctly remember getting this casting - with 54UC again
It was in a situation where I was with an older man and in a difficult relationship.
We did get on - or rather lived together in a state of mutual habitation. The relationship did not last and although I was desperate for a 'marriage' this came later with another man

What the relationship did so however was to springboard me to another type of relationship - one less needy from my side. In fact I almost went too far the opposite

I think your casting means that yes you could advance (ie stay with this person) but it won't really get you anywhere. The auspicious 46 is perhaps the small immediate advantages you might get if you stay together for a while
X

 

[zumi]

Thank you, butterfly spider,
My situation does resemble yours, it's just I deal with a man younger than me, who was leaving me a few times. I am very drawn to him, but it's unhealthy for me, at least I do realize that. I am just surprised to get castings that are not entirely negative, I just wander what else I can take out of this relationship. I don't want to be friends with benefits, that is for sure, but I feel like it tells me that I should not be to eager, that my time will come to get married, but why in the context of this relationship? The line 4 that talks about marriage. I do feel that I don't have any control in this relationship and it drives me crazy, I don't like it.

 

[butterfly spider]

Am not sure. Looking back there were some positive things from my relationship with this man. But it was more to do with my own self development. I felt as if I was putting my emotions into a bucket with a hole. Nothing is entirely negative and I can understand tthat the positive parts of the reading may be baffling. It could be perhaps to so with your own self awareness in relationships to help you the next time round. It might be that you stay with this person a while and meet ssomeone through him.
Sometimes we just need to sort out things before we can move forward. Do what you feel is right here - no amount of castings can decide the outcome - you have the last say. Just use the advise to help your decisions
x

 

[zumi]

What struck me is that I did the reading for this month on the relationship with him, and it was 22.4 goes to 30. The line 4 speaks about marriage again. So, yes, butterfly spider, I understand it also has to do of my perception of relationships, I am not entirely codependent, and not clingy, but I do like to have someone with me. In fact, I am pretty outgoing and independent, I can function alone perfectly well. But when the guy comes around, I guess I think, oh he might be the one, so I try to work it out, and maybe I set my expectations too high. This time they are not high, but I feel like he created a barrier between us, so he totally controls when and how we meet, just like hexagram 54 implies.

 

[zumi]

Well, I think I started to get it if I use fan yao lines, 54.1 means I am in a subordinate position in this relationship and can accomplish only small things, it is interesting, that it still tells me to continue in this position, meaning to support him, because he believes me, it also says that it is better to be a concubine than single (!). 40.3 means that only me who should be blamed for still thinking about him after all this conflict he created in my life, and 32.4 says that there is nothing going on between me and him, or he just doesn't care. All these lines lead to the hexagram 46, which means I should rise up above all this mess in my personal life, and just continue to follow my intuition, which tells me to let go of him.
Thank you, everyone