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55.1.2.6>50 complex feelings

luckyseason

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Hello!

After years lurking, my first post. Hope you can give me some insight.

The situation is as follows: I've come to fall in love for a friend. He's one of the best people I've ever met, and I had to go through some inner tension as to accept these feelings, acknowledge them (mostly because I felt ashamed). One oracle (not Yi) pointed at the situation as illusion, just friendship. So I tried the mature approach and opened up about those feelings, and he doesn't readily feel the same (and is currently in a relationship). I want my friend to be happy, and even if it's not with me it's alright. All grievance will pass. But still, I felt in my heart that I at least should ask if there's a way for it to be, that doesn't hurt anyone, allowing me to manifest this, without doing anything behind his back, and being in as perfect honesty as I can. I tried to be precise. And this is what I got (55.1.2.6).

I did actually hone the question. At first, I asked 'how to heal this pain I'm feeling and got 20.6>8 which I interpreted as 'be clearer about your intentions'. I then admitted to myself that yes I want this to be possible, and asked 'how do I resolve it for good? What should I do?' and got 47.4>29. This would be just giving up? I can't understand it properly (or maybe I don't want to, we'll get to that).

Appreciate all your input
 
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diamant

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Hi luckyseason,

if there's a way for it to be, that doesn't hurt anyone, allowing me to manifest this, without doing anything behind his back, and being in as perfect honesty as I can
55.1.2.6 > 50


55.1 describes a very short affair.
55.2 shows a lot of online activity (many screens). Your 'friend' is an active man.
55.6 shows someone egocentric and/or alone.
Resulting 50 points to a need to completely move on from described affair/screens/alone scenario.

Even if you manage to have a short affair with him, it certainly will be behind someone's back. You've asked him already in honesty, and he said no. As about nobody get hurt - you said you already feel pain, and of course if he cheats on his partner with you the partner will also feel hurt. So, is there a way towards what you are precisely pining for? I'm afraid not.

how to heal this pain I'm feeling and got 20.6 > 8
Observe, philosophise, think. Take a look at the lives of people you know and people stories you've heard. How do they live, are they happy? Do they have blissful forever-after relationships? What usually happens in love triangles? 8 says you don't even need to look far - have a think of people close to you. Use these lessons to see that your pain of unrequited love is (sadly) a common thing, and that it does pass eventually.

how do I resolve it for good? What should I do? 47.4 > 29
This cast describes a prolonged unpleasant and dangerous situation. You currently feel that you want to wait, for long. If you do that, you'll feel oppressed and suffocated. Things will go painfully slow, and will end up in the exact same danger that you can already sense (my guess is that even if he breaks up from current partner, he'll just find another partner and not you).
So what should you do? Not this - do not take things slow, don't enter a path of slow progress. It is not to your benefit and it leads to danger.
 

luckyseason

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Hi luckyseason,

if there's a way for it to be, that doesn't hurt anyone, allowing me to manifest this, without doing anything behind his back, and being in as perfect honesty as I can
55.1.2.6 > 50


55.1 describes a very short affair.
55.2 shows a lot of online activity (many screens). Your 'friend' is an active man.
55.6 shows someone egocentric and/or alone.
Resulting 50 points to a need to completely move on from described affair/screens/alone scenario.

Even if you manage to have a short affair with him, it certainly will be behind someone's back. You've asked him already in honesty, and he said no. As about nobody get hurt - you said you already feel pain, and of course if he cheats on his partner with you the partner will also feel hurt. So, is there a way towards what you are precisely pining for? I'm afraid not.

how to heal this pain I'm feeling and got 20.6 > 8
Observe, philosophise, think. Take a look at the lives of people you know and people stories you've heard. How do they live, are they happy? Do they have blissful forever-after relationships? What usually happens in love triangles? 8 says you don't even need to look far - have a think of people close to you. Use these lessons to see that your pain of unrequited love is (sadly) a common thing, and that it does pass eventually.

how do I resolve it for good? What should I do? 47.4 > 29
This cast describes a prolonged unpleasant and dangerous situation. You currently feel that you want to wait, for long. If you do that, you'll feel oppressed and suffocated. Things will go painfully slow, and will end up in the exact same danger that you can already sense (my guess is that even if he breaks up from current partner, he'll just find another partner and not you).
So what should you do? Not this - do not take things slow, don't enter a path of slow progress. It is not to your benefit and it leads to danger.
Thanks for the help. Cold hard truth is difficult to deal with
Hi luckyseason,

if there's a way for it to be, that doesn't hurt anyone, allowing me to manifest this, without doing anything behind his back, and being in as perfect honesty as I can
55.1.2.6 > 50


55.1 describes a very short affair.
55.2 shows a lot of online activity (many screens). Your 'friend' is an active man.
55.6 shows someone egocentric and/or alone.
Resulting 50 points to a need to completely move on from described affair/screens/alone scenario.

Even if you manage to have a short affair with him, it certainly will be behind someone's back. You've asked him already in honesty, and he said no. As about nobody get hurt - you said you already feel pain, and of course if he cheats on his partner with you the partner will also feel hurt. So, is there a way towards what you are precisely pining for? I'm afraid not.

how to heal this pain I'm feeling and got 20.6 > 8
Observe, philosophise, think. Take a look at the lives of people you know and people stories you've heard. How do they live, are they happy? Do they have blissful forever-after relationships? What usually happens in love triangles? 8 says you don't even need to look far - have a think of people close to you. Use these lessons to see that your pain of unrequited love is (sadly) a common thing, and that it does pass eventually.

how do I resolve it for good? What should I do? 47.4 > 29
This cast describes a prolonged unpleasant and dangerous situation. You currently feel that you want to wait, for long. If you do that, you'll feel oppressed and suffocated. Things will go painfully slow, and will end up in the exact same danger that you can already sense (my guess is that even if he breaks up from current partner, he'll just find another partner and not you).
So what should you do? Not this - do not take things slow, don't enter a path of slow progress. It is not to your benefit and it
Thanks for the help, diamant. Things are still confusing in the inside-my-head kingdom, but I really appreciate, it helped me find more clarity.

I ended up asking Yi what was my best course of action/more in line with my path now. Got 23.5.6>8. Really ought to let my head rest I guess, integrate what is happening.
 

rosada

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How can your feelings for the friend to manifest in a way that doesn't hurt anyone? Here's my take from Hilary's book...
55.1
Meeting your partner and lord.....You feeling there's really something special about this guy.
Though for ten days, no mistake....Even if this connection is limited or short lived, it is not a mistake.
Going on brings honor....When it's over you will move on but cherish what you experienced.

So I see line 1 as validating that your sense this friend is someone special is not just idle fantasy and it's right for you to recognize the two of you have a connection. It may not necessarily be a romantic link, it may be that you work on a project together or simply are good friends. The key thought here is that you mustn't think this link is meant to be more than it is or that it will go on indefinitely. It's got limits and boundaries. Don't over step. Don't be sad because it's not more - be glad for what it is.

55.2
Feng is screened off.
At midday seeing the Dipper.
Going on gains doubts and anxieties... In the dark about what to do, confused by your feelings.
With truth and confidence coming to expression,
Good fortune.....Your desire to somehow have this situation work out for everyone's highest good is indeed the right attitude to take.

55.6
At Feng, in his hut,
Screening off his home, peeping through his door,
In solitude, without people, for three years sees no-one.
Pitfall.

55. Is about something coming to a peak. I think the I Ching is advising you to assume your connection reached it's peak at "friendship" and not to be disappointed by that and definitely not to isolate yourself (even if you feel a bit awkward that you may have told him too much!).
The hexagram changes to 50. "The noble one sets the situation straight and consolidates her destiny."
"Set the record straight" - well you've done that.
"Consolidates her destiny" - now you can act as friends and be good friends!
 
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diamant

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I really feel for you @luckyseason. I've been through the torment you're describing, it's really harsh. The body and its hormones are overwhelming, and want what they want, and they want it 'now' and 'no matter what'. If they're not getting what they want, they throw a storm. Brain/logic are totally incapable of reasoning with the body/hormones - these do not inter-communicate, at all. This opposition is tangibly painful and extremely stressful. Sorry that I didn't write what you'd have liked to hear, I really do understand your inner battle.

what was my best course of action/more in line with my path now 23.5.6 > 8
I love this question as it's about action, and action is what truly matters (regardless of feelings).
And another resulting 8.
A string of ladies - gather with all your female friends, acquaintances, close family (23.5).
Behave like royalty, 'leave' the guy behind, leave (23.6).
Stay together, and in close proximity with, your nearest people (friends and family) (8).
 

rosada

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How to heal the pain?
20.6 Contemplation of his life, the superior man is without blame.
8. The kings of antiquity bestowed the different states as fifes and cultivated friendly relations with the feudal lords.

20.6 is about seeing things from a very broad perspective and 8 is about recognizing and respecting boundaries. (Previously in hexagram 7.6 we saw the victorious prince dividing up the territory into states and then on to 8. Seeking Union where agreements, unions, are negotiated between these states.) I see receiving 20.6-8 here as having a variety of possible insights. Possibly you being reminded that you and this person have known each for a long time and already have a relationship that works on the friendship level so you can be happy about that. Or you may also be being advised that to be pain free it's important that you not do or say anything you wouldn't want to be made public. Like, maybe respect your friends boundaries and say no more about your crush..
Remind yourself that in the broadest scheme of things, your ill-received confession probably isn't going to upend your friendship when you consider how many years you've known each other and if you don't refer to it again.
 

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